Struggling with purpose/ mission

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Potz
Posts: 9 | Thanks: 15
Joined: Wed Sep 08, 2021 11:05 am
Name: Ryan
Goal: Fulfilling Life
Age: 35
Motto: Nothing in life worth having or doing is ever easy
Location: South Africa

Thu Nov 04, 2021 12:24 pm

Hey Guys

I'm looking for people to please give me some life advice, guidance, kick my ass & hold me accountable if I'm navel-gazing or just point me in the right direction as to where to go next.

I do have a tendency to over-analyze and over-plan things, realized this and started taking action about 13 months ago. That being said people like Jordan Peterson talk about how human beings are aiming creatures, we need an aim to work towards. In addition Rich Cooper always talks about focusing on your mission (red-pill thoughts aside) and this is the area I am currently trying to take action on while working on some goals in parallel.

For background, I did have some pretty well thought out plans for the future and things I was working towards. I was married, we were going to travel the world while working, since both of our careers allowed for that, and find a better country to raise children in and settle down. Life is what happens when you are making plans though and my wife passed away in September last year and I have been putting my life back together since then.

I realized a while after she died that I am still young (35) and want to experience sex and romance again and this is currently my main goal. I hadn't dated for 7 years so I began researching game, found the red-pill and a bunch of other resources like Models by Mark Manson and eventually found Andy on YouTube and his approach really resonated with. I like to take the bits that work from different approaches and combine them. I realized I was badly out of shape and needed to fix this to improve the type of woman I was able to attract, I'm not where I would like to be but I have lost 19kgs in 13 months and put on a fair bit of muscle. I hired a personal trainer recently since I hit a plateau in weight loss and diet and this has definitely helped. I realized my style was crap and booked a consultation with @Radical which happened this week and was awesome. I now have a way forward with that and a much better grasp of how to style myself. I know my tinder profile photos are crap (so i'll save you from critiquing them) and I'll get new outfits & accessories and get some better photos taken so I'm not too worried about this aspect of my life, I'm just not there yet. I have had three romantic/sexual encounters since my wife died, one was with a girl 14 years younger than me at work who pursued me, bad call btw but it worked out okay because I got headhunted for a much better position and I ended things in such a way that we could stay friends. The other two were from Tinder and they were okay but not really the type of women I want to date so I'm confident I can do well with women just need to up my online dating profile and keep approaching IRL.

What I'm really struggling with is other than woman, what should my goals be? Where I should go and what I should accomplish in life? I know it's only something that I can answer so I'm looking for guidance on how to find it and evolve it over time. I'm not my own boss but I work at a cool startup doing work I love and I get paid well for it. I know I could start my own business on the side and grow that to the point where I can quit my job and earn passive income but because I get paid well and don't hate my job it doesn't feel like a burning need right now.

I love to travel so aiming to do more of that. I can work from anywhere as long as there is internet so I'm planning to rent out my apartment (can't sell it the market is dead here and I have been trying to sell for 2 years) and be a digital nomad for a while and maybe this will help me discover my purpose/mission but I don't want to end up as an "aimless traveler".

Other than an abundance of women (which I'm working on), I have pretty much everything I want at this point in my life (save for high-cost luxury items like a sports car, mansion etc) and I'm not a very materialistic person, I like my space but I see myself as more of a minimalist. Maybe an abundance of free time to do whatever I want is what I should be aiming for?

I do like kids and because my late wife wanted them it was part of the plan but I'm now evaluating whether I wanted them because she did or because I genuinely did.

I understand the importance of a purpose/mission is in life but I'm just struggling to figure out what that is and while having an abundance of women seems like a decent goal for now it doesn't seem to be a very fulfilling mission or purpose.

Any advice/exercises/books/courses etc that you great people could recommend would be much appreciated!
User avatar
Radical
Posts: 1726 | Thanks: 1439
Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 12:02 pm
Name: Cam
Goal: Funnel/Product Building
Age: 29
Motto: Take drastic action

Thu Nov 04, 2021 12:46 pm

Was great talking to you the other day dude

Glad to see you engaging with the forum

Everyone here is happy to help guys that are serious and you very much are. Losing over 40 pounds is testament to that
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Thu Nov 04, 2021 7:49 pm

That was sick Andy. That's getting saved on the first page of my log.

I obviously can't top what Andy posted above Potz, but it's good to have you here brother, and if you are open to logging your journey, well I for one will be reading.

We're in it together my man lets fucking go!

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
User avatar
Potz
Posts: 9 | Thanks: 15
Joined: Wed Sep 08, 2021 11:05 am
Name: Ryan
Goal: Fulfilling Life
Age: 35
Motto: Nothing in life worth having or doing is ever easy
Location: South Africa

Fri Nov 05, 2021 8:32 am

Hey @KillYourInnerLoser

Firstly thanks for all your vids and for this forum and building this community of great guys, they have been immensely helpful. Thank you for the links to questions, I commit to going through them this weekend and next week and start journaling some of my answers to help me work through it. I know it's going to take a lot of time to bed it down and it may evolve over time but this looks like a great place to get started on the journey. Got some leave days coming up in December so might be a great opportunity to go out into nature with some pen & paper, no digital devices and just meditate on this.

I am committed to a lifetime of self improvement and I'm going to keep working on that until the day I die. Stoicism and meditation were two of the biggest things that help me deal with the grief of my wifes death and I am immensly grateful for both. Now it's time to be happy and fulfilled.

I have had the opportunity to be a mentor and help others in my career and I found it incredibly fulfilling and rewarding so I suspect that more of that would help add meaning to my life. I aspire to one day soon be in the position to help other men better themselves so adding that as a goal.

Will keep an eye out for your podcast/video, please keep doing the amazing work you are doing, literally saving & improving lives here!

@MakingAComeback good to be here brother, I certainly will be logging my journey, having accountability is key to success so will post here on the forum once I have an initial rough draft to evolve. Let's fucking go and smash our goals man, live life to the fullest!
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