How to improve at not taking myself so seriously and being more comfortable about being made fun of?

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Striker
Posts: 286 | Thanks: 29
Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2021 6:19 pm
Goal: Lose fat
Age: 25

Wed Nov 10, 2021 3:20 am

I could not think of a way to title this post better so apologies if it's misleading. Obviously you want to take yourself and your self-improvement serious but I'm talking about more in a social interaction sense.

I really want to improve my social skills as right now while I'm passable in this regard I don't think I'm ever viewed as the most interesting or entertaining guy to hang around with. I'm just kind of there.

And I think I figured out a huge reason is because I'm always so serious and uncomfortable being the butt of a joke. I don't really know why but I'm just super uncomfortable when people are taking the piss out of me even though it's normal and I do it to other people. For example if someone brings up girls and we're joking about the girl a friend pulled I might join in but then if someone did the same to me I'd get self-conscious and want to change the subject. Or when someone brings up something embarrassing I did a few years ago, people find it funny yet I struggle to joke around it and want to change the subject because I take myself too seriously and I don't really know how to go from feeling embarrassed to not being phased and enjoying the spotlight.

I met a guy this weekend and he was so comfortable saying and doing stuff that opened him up to ridicule and he just came across as a really fun guy to be around because he didn't take himself too serious. I read somewhere on here before about speaking with no filter and this guy defo had that as well as just being able to make people laugh by doing stuff I'd avoid because I'm uncomfortable being made fun of. And I went away from that night thinking he was fun to be around and my general opinion of him was very positive, the exact kind of impression I want to leave.

I think I need to try and speak with no filter more as well as become comfortable being in the spotlight of people joking about me to level up my social skills but it doesn't come natural to me at all.

Just curious if anyone has any thoughts on this or any advice in general about how to be more interesting/entertaining socially.
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Aspire2Greatness
Posts: 539 | Thanks: 104
Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2021 7:09 pm
Name: Thomas
Goal: Get laid
Age: 33
Motto: Discipline equals freedom

Wed Nov 10, 2021 7:38 am

Personally I don't really go into a conversations thinking that I _have_ to be interesting. If whatever we talk about segways into subjects where I can share my viewpoints on things, or try to make a joke here and there, sure I'll do that if I feel like it.

And depending on who I'm talking to I'll adjust the jokes, having my self or the other person as the butt of the joke.
Striker wrote:
Wed Nov 10, 2021 3:20 am
how to be more interesting/entertaining socially.
My experience has been that the more books I read, music I listen to, documentaries I watch, skills I learn and experience in life I get in general, it's easier to talk about interesting topics. And by interesting I mean things that interest you. Say that I'm in a conversation with someone and they're talking about something that doesn't really interest me on a practical level like contemporary dance - I'm very much into abstract visual art, and can relate my viewpoints on how I approach my own work regarding that subject.

Or cooking, for that matter.

Best tip I've been doing personally is just being interested in whatever the other person is interested in, as in, if they're talking about something I don't know much about, I'll ask them questions (people love to talk about them selves) and try to figure out why they enjoy it etc.

Talked to a guy that was newly employed as a communal secretary last weekend, he described his job as being a mail box, which on the outside sounded boring as hell to me, coming from a music and art background. But when I started asking him what he enjoyed about his job, what his future plans are etc, he kept talking and the conversation went well. Plus after a while I could ask him what kind of music he listened to, why he chose to move up here (6 hour drive from where he used to live) etc.
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