The Slight Edge for overcoming "nice guy" behaviors

Wifty
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Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 1:30 pm
Name: Ben
Goal: Get laid
Motto: Humble&aggressive

Tue Jul 21, 2020 7:43 pm

@arcade_fireee taking to girls in the streets and telling them they're attractive and showing them sexual intents Will naturally make you way more assertive as a matter of fact and it Will take care of every little things which you have listed out.

And it Will be way more useful and rewarding for you in your overall and dating life.

Go to the root man, around the bush is a time waster at best
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terry_crews87
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Age: 33
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Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:49 am

Have you ever thought about joining a boxing/mma/ bjj gym before? @arcade_fireee
That stuff makes a massive difference in how you feel about yourself. When you know you can stick up for yourself, and even mess someone up once you put some time in , you stop caring about what other people are thinking. It worked for me.

I think everybody should join a gym like that at some point, it forces you out of your comfort zone every day. It teaches you to handle absoloute chaos (hard sparring) , while keeping a relatively cool head. You can put yourself in these intense combat situations, and your coach / teammates are there to make sure you don't get too hurt. If that is not quite your cup of tea, it doesn't matter! Find a good gym and go at your own pace. A good gym is a very supportive environment. BJJ you dont even have to worry about getting hit.

I've never done much bjj, but it sounds like a great way to learn how to throw a chick around and dominate her in the bedroom. It is probably great for guys into BDSM , but I know zero about that stuff. ps. arcade fire is a wicked band by the way.
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DNPTHC
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Age: 26
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Wed Jul 22, 2020 1:39 am

KillYourInnerLoser wrote:
Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:50 am
terry_crews87 wrote:
Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:49 am
it sounds like a great way to learn how to throw a chick around and dominate her in the bedroom.
The sport of powerlifting is good for this too. The stronger I've gotten, the more fun sex has become. You can literally just pick chicks up in the air while you're standing, and fuck them while you hold them up.

Stand-And-Carry-Sex-Position-Illustration.jpg
This is probably the most rewarding part of being jacked.

Also, I’ve never met any girl who didn’t absolutely love this position. Food for thought for anyone thinking of lifting weights but still on the fence.
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Aloofus
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Name: Justin
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Wed Jul 22, 2020 4:00 pm

@chado when most people say "nice guy" they mean nice guy syndrome (what Robert Glover talking about in his book "No more Mr Nice Guy). Things like seeking validation/approval, having weak boundaries, doing things WITH unsaid expectations for people. All of that is bad shit. Treating people well isn't the same thing. Though breaking away from nice guy syndrome doesn't make you an asshole. It's actually fully in line with what Andy advocates.

@arcade_fireee Go find and read "When I say No I Feel Guilty". It's a bit older, but an amazing book on assertiveness.
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grodmeister general
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Thu Nov 05, 2020 7:36 pm

Is this stuff for getting girls lol?
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sundleboro
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Name: Bill
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Fri Feb 19, 2021 6:45 am

Your goals sounded totally reasonable to me Kory, and I share most of them. It felt like I wrote a lot of your post myself. Have you taken any steps towards these?
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arcade_fireee
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Age: 31
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Sat Feb 20, 2021 9:11 pm

@sundleboro I decided to reprioritize my goals and focus on the ones that will have the biggest positive impact on my life. Being able to do the things in my original post are not nearly as impactful overall as some other things I could be doing.

Additionally, I discovered that you'll often end up getting good practice at "overcoming fear of what other people think" just by pursuing your main goals. For example, right now I’m focused on landing a software engineering job in California, and that has required a lot of overcoming fear of what interviewers may be thinking about me. You can often kill two birds with one stone by just focusing on your most impactful, specific goals.

In general, I would not focus on trying to eradicate "nice guy" behaviors just for the sake of it (i.e., don't treat that as a goal in and of itself), but rather eradicate them to whatever degree necessary to achieve your current most-important goal.
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arcade_fireee
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Sun Dec 12, 2021 10:26 pm

I just stumbled upon this GLL article where he says the exact same conclusion I came to in my previous post. Don't focus on "trying not to give a fuck what others think" -- just focus on doing the things that fear of others' opinions was preventing you from doing. Take out that middle man.

https://www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/ ... ng-anymore
#2a
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Striker
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Mon Dec 13, 2021 1:46 am

arcade_fireee wrote:
Sun Dec 12, 2021 10:26 pm
I just stumbled upon this GLL article where he says the exact same conclusion I came to in my previous post. Don't focus on "trying not to give a fuck what others think" -- just focus on doing the things that fear of others' opinions was preventing you from doing. Take out that middle man.

https://www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/ ... ng-anymore
#2a
I related to a lot of what you said in the original post tbh, I always think I'm boring as fuck and nobody wants to hang with me but I've come to realise I censor myself so much for a variety of reasons. Definitely something I'm gonna put time into working on.

I'm the kind of guy where if my boss asks me to work an extra day I'll say yes before even giving it a thought of whether I want to do it and I hate it.

And you're completely right imo, it's about being more selfish and doing/saying what you want (within reason) instead of your first thought being how will this be received by others.

Definitely similar to approaching girls where it's better to take the risk of approaching girls and getting rejected than it is to do nothing. And it's better to speak more freely at the slight risk of offending someone than it is to overly censor yourself and become some boring as fuck middleman who can't stand up for himself.
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