How to stop watching P?

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ziva
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Sun Apr 02, 2023 6:22 pm

Brother_Tucker wrote:
Sun Apr 02, 2023 3:24 pm
If it helps, consider watching porn like having a drink. One every now and again won't hurt you. If your drinking 3 pints a night every day of the week, then you clearly have a problem.
I've experimented with this a lot. If I watch porn, I give in to the addiction, which I already don't want to do. And after I've watched it once, I am so much more likely to watch it again in the next 3-5 days, even if I don't want to do that either. For me, porn is like heroin. You don't do heroin in moderation, you just don't do heroin at all. This may sound a bit extreme. But if I never feel good after watching porn, why should I even watch it in the first place. Even once in a blue moon. I can have a day where I don't finish all the tasks I would've liked to do, knowing that I will most likely still finish them tomorrow. After this I don't feel bad about missing a day. But with porn it's just not like this (at least for me).

This may be a bit much, but this is genuinely how I feel about all of this haha
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ziva
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Sun Apr 02, 2023 6:26 pm

Paid Renegade wrote:
Sun Apr 02, 2023 3:38 pm
Have sex 3-4 times a week (with different girls each time)

Watching porn/jerking off will start to feel like a chore
I think (almost know actually) that something like this is the only option I have.
Not watching porn, but also not seeing girls has been next to impossible for me.
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Brother_Tucker
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Mon Apr 03, 2023 11:31 am

ziva wrote:
Sun Apr 02, 2023 6:22 pm
Brother_Tucker wrote:
Sun Apr 02, 2023 3:24 pm
If it helps, consider watching porn like having a drink. One every now and again won't hurt you. If your drinking 3 pints a night every day of the week, then you clearly have a problem.
I've experimented with this a lot. If I watch porn, I give in to the addiction, which I already don't want to do. And after I've watched it once, I am so much more likely to watch it again in the next 3-5 days, even if I don't want to do that either. For me, porn is like heroin. You don't do heroin in moderation, you just don't do heroin at all. This may sound a bit extreme. But if I never feel good after watching porn, why should I even watch it in the first place. Even once in a blue moon. I can have a day where I don't finish all the tasks I would've liked to do, knowing that I will most likely still finish them tomorrow. After this I don't feel bad about missing a day. But with porn it's just not like this (at least for me).

This may be a bit much, but this is genuinely how I feel about all of this haha
Sounds like you have all the motivation in the world to stop. Everyone handles things differently, and if porn is that addictive to you you then I understand you wanting to go cold turkey. Knowing its this bad for you, why do you choose to do it? You don't strike me as the person choosing to do heroine, if you equate the 2, why is this one harder for you to drop?

One of the tricks to quit something, is when you just naturally don't think about it. If all you're doing is thinking about it, the temptation to use it is much greater than if you realise 2 weeks have passed and you haven't touched it. This is why you need to get your hobbies and sex options up.
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Hedon
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Mon Apr 03, 2023 12:32 pm

Hey man I'd recommend using Get Cold Turkey as a website blocker, it works well on desktop. for mobile I haven't found something as good.

Having top quality online dating profiles + cold approach bringing in loads of warm leads would honestly help the most in terms of stopping you watching porn/PMO etc.

For now I would get used to fapping just using your mental thoughts, I mean no fap long term is best but for now just to stop porn donofap for like 1-2 weeks then start fapping just with imagination, no content. After a few times of this you'll get used to it, this way will also probably help make it easier to eventually stop fapping completely. I would really recommend to aim towards stopping fap completely, from personal experience it's a game changer.
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Lord Rey
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Mon Apr 03, 2023 2:37 pm

This thread reminds me that I haven't watched porn for a while now. Can't remember exactly when was the last time, maybe in February, with a girl, just before having kinky sex...

As an ex addicted porn user, I would say that what truly worked for me was to get sexually satisfied. Even when I was in a relationship and having sex daily with my ex, I couldn't stop myself from watching regularly as I was not totally satisfied with her.

Now that I have a lot of kinky sex with a rotation of different cool girls, I don't feel the urge to go back watching porn as I can have great sex and make most of my kinks/fantasies happen for real.

So in my opinion, the solution to the porn problem is to not stress about it, but focus on being busy with productive stuff like working on your goals and building your dream sex life... In the mindset of "relax, you'll eventually stop watching porn when you get enough quality sex".
I know, it's easier said than done, but my point is that counting days without porn and then feeling bad because of relapses isn't helping. I think it's wiser to ignore the porn issue and just focus on stuff that truly matters.
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ziva
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Mon Apr 03, 2023 7:58 pm

Brother_Tucker wrote:
Mon Apr 03, 2023 11:31 am
ziva wrote:
Sun Apr 02, 2023 6:22 pm

Sounds like you have all the motivation in the world to stop. Everyone handles things differently, and if porn is that addictive to you you then I understand you wanting to go cold turkey. Knowing its this bad for you, why do you choose to do it? You don't strike me as the person choosing to do heroine, if you equate the 2, why is this one harder for you to drop?

One of the tricks to quit something, is when you just naturally don't think about it. If all you're doing is thinking about it, the temptation to use it is much greater than if you realise 2 weeks have passed and you haven't touched it. This is why you need to get your hobbies and sex options up.
I think the best thing to do is indeed get the hobbies and sexual options up. I think porn has been harder to drop because I accidentally rolled in it 11 years ago via a friend.
And I haven't had a potent replacement for porn for a majority of the time, so it's easy to fall back into. But yeah I'll just continue to focus on other things. Shifting the focus is actually working already. I haven't watched P in a little over 2 weeks. I think if I keep going like this and not stop after a couple of weeks, porn may actually fall out of style.
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ziva
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Mon Apr 03, 2023 8:01 pm

Lord Rey wrote:
Mon Apr 03, 2023 2:37 pm
This thread reminds me that I haven't watched porn for a while now. Can't remember exactly when was the last time, maybe in February, with a girl, just before having kinky sex...

As an ex addicted porn user, I would say that what truly worked for me was to get sexually satisfied. Even when I was in a relationship and having sex daily with my ex, I couldn't stop myself from watching regularly as I was not totally satisfied with her.

Now that I have a lot of kinky sex with a rotation of different cool girls, I don't feel the urge to go back watching porn as I can have great sex and make most of my kinks/fantasies happen for real.

So in my opinion, the solution to the porn problem is to not stress about it, but focus on being busy with productive stuff like working on your goals and building your dream sex life... In the mindset of "relax, you'll eventually stop watching porn when you get enough quality sex".
I know, it's easier said than done, but my point is that counting days without porn and then feeling bad because of relapses isn't helping. I think it's wiser to ignore the porn issue and just focus on stuff that truly matters.
I agree with you. I will focus on building up a satisfying dating/sex life and not quit.
Major goals of 2023:
-Beat performance anxiety
-Move out
-Grow business to 3K revenue a month
-Build more muscle
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ziva
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Mon Apr 03, 2023 8:08 pm

Hedon wrote:
Mon Apr 03, 2023 12:32 pm
Hey man I'd recommend using Get Cold Turkey as a website blocker, it works well on desktop. for mobile I haven't found something as good.

Having top quality online dating profiles + cold approach bringing in loads of warm leads would honestly help the most in terms of stopping you watching porn/PMO etc.

For now I would get used to fapping just using your mental thoughts, I mean no fap long term is best but for now just to stop porn donofap for like 1-2 weeks then start fapping just with imagination, no content. After a few times of this you'll get used to it, this way will also probably help make it easier to eventually stop fapping completely. I would really recommend to aim towards stopping fap completely, from personal experience it's a game changer.
I haven't fapped without porn for almost 7 years I think. I either watch porn and fap, or I don't fap at all. The thing that worked best for me, even if it was only for 2 months max, was seeing girls regularly. My longest no porn streaks all came after doing something with a girl. So I'll definitely be acquiring "loads of warm leads" so to speak :) . I just don't have to fall back into another period where I don't see any girls for months on end. I did this until 2 months ago for some reason.
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-Move out
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Method
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Mon Apr 03, 2023 11:30 pm

Like everyone else has said having a date with a FWB lined up within the week helps. Learn to enjoy the feeling of tension building up until then, and consider how great the sex will be once you get that release.

Along that line, be honest with girls about what you are into and what you want to do with them. It helps a lot if you can live out what you'd normally get from porn and you'd be surprised how receptive a lot of girls are to a lot of things, and to direct communication about it.

I'm also right there with you on porn being an all or nothing, and tough to avoid without seeing girls regularly. Like Hedon recommended, try to get used to fapping without watching porn. If doing the 2 weeks of nofap resonates with you, good.
For me that has increased my sex drive so much there's no avoiding porn, and go with more of an approach of just beating off and nutting once a day to keep my sex drive down, until there is some time in between now and the last time I watched porn.

Also consider how much of this is caused by internal triggers. Consider why you use porn. Horniness obviously but to some extent boredom. Whatever it is, it's a feeling on the inside. So learning to meditate, as in just experiencing that sensation for exactly what it is, a feeling inside of the body, can help you do un-identifiy with it and put some space in between you and the urge.



I know it seems out there, and what I'm going to say next will too, but the next time you feel an urge... try to experience it for exactly what it is. Like, what is it about this feeling that is different than that of hunger? How do you know the difference on a level of experience? How is this different from anger, or excitement about playing a new videogame, on a level of this being a feeling in your body. Try to see the difference between them like you'd see between the colors red and blue. It's all just different types of sensation.

Learning to see it for what it is, a sensation, can help put some distance between the feeling and actually acting on it.
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ziva
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Wed Apr 05, 2023 12:28 pm

Method wrote:
Mon Apr 03, 2023 11:30 pm
Like everyone else has said having a date with a FWB lined up within the week helps. Learn to enjoy the feeling of tension building up until then, and consider how great the sex will be once you get that release.

Along that line, be honest with girls about what you are into and what you want to do with them. It helps a lot if you can live out what you'd normally get from porn and you'd be surprised how receptive a lot of girls are to a lot of things, and to direct communication about it.

I'm also right there with you on porn being an all or nothing, and tough to avoid without seeing girls regularly. Like Hedon recommended, try to get used to fapping without watching porn. If doing the 2 weeks of nofap resonates with you, good.
For me that has increased my sex drive so much there's no avoiding porn, and go with more of an approach of just beating off and nutting once a day to keep my sex drive down, until there is some time in between now and the last time I watched porn.

Also consider how much of this is caused by internal triggers. Consider why you use porn. Horniness obviously but to some extent boredom. Whatever it is, it's a feeling on the inside. So learning to meditate, as in just experiencing that sensation for exactly what it is, a feeling inside of the body, can help you do un-identifiy with it and put some space in between you and the urge.



I know it seems out there, and what I'm going to say next will too, but the next time you feel an urge... try to experience it for exactly what it is. Like, what is it about this feeling that is different than that of hunger? How do you know the difference on a level of experience? How is this different from anger, or excitement about playing a new videogame, on a level of this being a feeling in your body. Try to see the difference between them like you'd see between the colors red and blue. It's all just different types of sensation.

Learning to see it for what it is, a sensation, can help put some distance between the feeling and actually acting on it.
Boredom or a girl flaking can indeed be followed by an urge to watch P. I've also heard just seeing the urge for what it is, as a way to better manage it. Sometimes it helps, but sometimes it really feels like the urge is trying to take over my logical side for minutes on end. Venom trying to control spiderman type shit :twisted: . Has fapping without porn been an better experience than not fapping at all?
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Method
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Wed Apr 05, 2023 6:26 pm

Yeah it's definitely a balance, meditation in general helps to not focus too much on the feeling and just let it go like you would with a thought during a meditation session.

But in my experience, if I go from fapping with P to cold turkey no fapping or P, I'll get so turned on over the course of the week eventually I just basically binge it. So fapping, with lube and mental imagery of real life girls, helps me just keep my sex drive low for a bit while I put distance between myself and porn use. Then eventually I start to go longer between days of fapping and let my energy build up. I'll have thoughts arise of what I'm going to do to the girls I'm seeing and kinda just let it hype me up for the next time I have sex being that much better, if I keep that release until then. To clarify I'm not focusing on these too much and just letting the thoughts come and go, instead applying my energy to the gym or study or whatever. It took a long time and trial and error to get here tbh.
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ziva
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Sun Apr 09, 2023 11:47 am

I think my stance on P and masturbation have changed a bit in the last days.
I watched P and did the deed 3 days ago, after 17 days of nothing. But before I did this I said to myself "I will do it and accept all the consequences that might come with it" (lower energy, self-esteem drops, all that). Somehow after accepting I will masturbate, and then doing it, I didn't really notice any significant change in my psyche at all. I even had a wet dream last night, and that normally doesn't happen since I just released 3 days ago. It feels like I did not even watch P 3 days ago, but I did. It made me think about why this feels different this time. As some of the guys on here said, I think I might masturbate once maybe twice a month, but learn to do it without P. A "healthy" way to masturbate if you will. I don't feel like a P/masturbation addict now, which might be the reason why it feels different this time. That's where I want to stay at until I have an actual sex life. I said that watching P/masturbating is like heroin for me, something I should never do. I want to get rid of P first because that's still not healthy, but masturbating once or twice a month with my thoughts. I could get behind that for now. And that brings peace to this topic, something I wanted for years now. I'm still talking to women everyday trying to set up dates and working my way up (still a beginner at this). I will set up that AA thread @MakingAComeback said I should do as well. And for now I think this is the move. I'll keep you guys posted.
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SpicyBoi
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Sun Apr 09, 2023 1:43 pm

@ziva

I’m going to give a different perspective (including my experience) on this.

A lot of guys think they are the king when they quit masturbation cold turkey, or do this “semen retention”’stuff but I think it’s a load of bullshit. It’s kind of like that MGTOW movement or whatever it’s called these days, especially if they aren’t even getting laid at the same time.

I think masturbation is fine, as long as you are also doing whatever you can to getting pussy alongside it (and you know if you are truly grinding or not deep down).

In terms of reducing the habit, I think you need a bigger goal to focus on daily rather than simply “quit masturbation”. The mind focuses most of what it does daily, and I actually think it makes it more of a risk prioritising only this (because if you fail one day then you’re going to feel really shit as that’s the big goal). A good one would be approaching women, as getting laid will eventually replace the need for busting a nut over an electronic screen.

Something I did last year was every time I jerked off, I had to go out and approach a woman immediately after. What it did was make me feel like a fucking loser for jerking off, as that simply was not reality. Although I fucked 80 new women during that year, I still masturbated but after time I eventually felt better landing one across a real girl’s tits or face rather than “imagining I’m impregnating the hottest girl on earth”.
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Renton
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Sun Apr 09, 2023 9:39 pm

I don't understand why guys want to stop watching porn or why they bother doing nofap.

It won't affect your ability to get laid unless it's extreme. The nofap movement is so retarded
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bonzo34
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Mon Apr 10, 2023 1:09 am

..
Last edited by bonzo34 on Sun Dec 10, 2023 6:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
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