Lost 104 lbs and got a FT office job, still a virgin at 21.

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1prctbetterdaily
Posts: 6 | Thanks: 11
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2023 9:50 pm
Name: Bradley
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 21
Location: Orlando, Florida, USA

Sun Apr 16, 2023 6:38 pm

I was 286 lbs on New Year’s Day 2019 and today I’m 181.9 lbs, my lowest weight since 7th grade. I graduated a semester early w/ an economics degree and found a job as a pricing analyst. I’m making an average income and save $$. But my dating life is horrendous. I’m a virgin at 21 and I don’t know where to meet women my age in person besides college, bars/clubs, or via day game. I like warm approach but meetup groups tend to have women significantly older than me. And online dating has been very frustrating for me as well.

I get 1-5 matches a day online but have a VERY high flake rate, it took almost 80 Hinge matches since late March for me to get a date last Tuesday that lead nowhere. I’m autistic and really struggle with the social aspect of dating and I’m finding that looksmaxxing alone hasn’t fixed my dating life. I’m working on getting down to 170 and building muscle, but I know that I need to work on my social skills. I fear that all the looksmaxxing on earth won’t compensate for being autistic. Because girls are initially interested in me but they pretty much all flake at one point. I know online is competitive but I think this is more than online being tough. Because I get matches yet barely any dates. I’m at a dead end and I don’t know where to go from here. Besides improving my looks and money, I’m at a loss.
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"My happiness is not the means to any end. It is the end. It is its own goal. It is its own purpose."-Ayn Rand, Anthem
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bonzo34
Posts: 468 | Thanks: 87
Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2022 2:33 am
Name: Alex
Goal: 50 "made love"
Age: 28
Location: San Antonio TX

Sun Apr 16, 2023 9:15 pm

..
Last edited by bonzo34 on Sun Dec 10, 2023 6:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
dating

resolve job/income

Be an Army Officer

50 lays. 1/50

The first time you quit, it's hard. The second time, it gets easier. The third time, you don't even have to think about it.
be transparent as possible. Stop setting plays. Stop playing chess with life.
you make progress when you face a fear head on
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Manly Cockfellow
Posts: 449 | Thanks: 358
Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2022 8:14 pm
Goal: Become the men I fear
Age: 37
Motto: Mk no smll plans; thy hv no pwr to stir mens blood

Sun Apr 16, 2023 10:12 pm

hey @1prctbetterdaily, awesome job on the weight loss!


what have you tried so far, specifically with women, to get laid?

i see you have a dating profile, but without you posting it or sharing some more detail about experiences you've had on there, or with talking to and touching women in the real world, we are gonna have a hard time helping you get laid!

also asking because there's a fairly normal sequence of progression -eye contact, talking, flirting, hugging, dating/getting to know, kissing, holding hands, making out, groping, fun with hands, fun with mouths, sex, BDSM, threesomes, harems, and everything else- that guys go through on their journey towards being sexually experienced
-
this sequence can take anywhere from ten minutes to ten days to ten years, with many steps being skippable, but it's a nice reference for where you are experience-wise and what might be a good idea to try next
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Olafsmash
Posts: 622 | Thanks: 126
Joined: Mon Aug 30, 2021 1:36 am
Goal: GET LAID/INCREASE SMV
Age: 29
Motto: It's not over until I win

Sun Apr 16, 2023 10:15 pm

Check out "Playing with fire" on youtube for text game mate. It helped me a lot.
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Mindset
Posts: 135 | Thanks: 16
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2023 2:15 pm
Goal: Get laid & retain
Age: 28
Motto: The grass is greener where you water it
Location: The Netherlands

Sun Apr 16, 2023 10:23 pm

Hey Brad @1prctbetterdaily

Big ups on the weight loss and asking for help on here man.
What are your goals with dating specifically man?

We would need to know what your dating profile(s) look like including picture(s).
Also what and/or how have you tried speaking to women in general?

If you want more specific help on this @jakeD has a point.
Try creating a log with what your specific goals are in dating and what you've tried to achieve them (your dating profile pictures, your warm approach attempts et cetera.)
Log
viewtopic.php?f=40&t=1894

Goals for December 31st 2023

Paid Dating Photography - 50% attention
1st Month of 4k w/ Dating Photography
KPI: 1 Photoshoot per week

144 Sales - 25% attention
79/144
KPI: 40-50 calls a day
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september
Posts: 348 | Thanks: 209
Joined: Tue Aug 10, 2021 8:21 pm
Name: Loki
Goal: master game
Age: 25
Motto: wagmi
Location: Toronto

Sun Apr 16, 2023 10:37 pm

Great job on the weight loss and getting a job

I'm curious how you think your symptoms of autism present themselves. You write pretty well here

It seems like your bottleneck is converting matches to dates. 80 matches for one date is a very lopsided ratio.

Just writing boring "how are you" "what do you study" x5 then "pass your number let's go on a date" should be getting better results for a date than that

(if you're using Andy's template, get rid of the "I'm looking for something casual" at the end, that one fucking kills conversion for no benefit to anyone)

Your best path to improvement here is to post as many screenshots of chats you've had as possible
0/10000 lays, 582.94 underage approaches, 8 seconds nofap, 929 day streak complaining + no action
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Mon Apr 17, 2023 11:26 am

1prctbetterdaily wrote:
Sun Apr 16, 2023 6:38 pm
I was 286 lbs on New Year’s Day 2019 and today I’m 181.9 lbs, my lowest weight since 7th grade. I graduated a semester early w/ an economics degree and found a job as a pricing analyst. I’m making an average income and save $$. But my dating life is horrendous. I’m a virgin at 21 and I don’t know where to meet women my age in person besides college, bars/clubs, or via day game. I like warm approach but meetup groups tend to have women significantly older than me. And online dating has been very frustrating for me as well.

I get 1-5 matches a day online but have a VERY high flake rate, it took almost 80 Hinge matches since late March for me to get a date last Tuesday that lead nowhere. I’m autistic and really struggle with the social aspect of dating and I’m finding that looksmaxxing alone hasn’t fixed my dating life. I’m working on getting down to 170 and building muscle, but I know that I need to work on my social skills. I fear that all the looksmaxxing on earth won’t compensate for being autistic. Because girls are initially interested in me but they pretty much all flake at one point. I know online is competitive but I think this is more than online being tough. Because I get matches yet barely any dates. I’m at a dead end and I don’t know where to go from here. Besides improving my looks and money, I’m at a loss.
Firstly...........I was a virgin until 29, which was when I started coaching with Andy (had 9 lays so far 1FWB, 100+ dates, 1000+ approaches, lost 80lbs, gained muscle, looksmaxxed hard as fuck) and am also likely on the spectrum

It won't stop you, trust me

I learned to be better socially. Still working in it.

Well done on taking action

Work hard

YOU WILL SUCCEED

Rooting for you

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
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Yggdrasil13
Posts: 55 | Thanks: 16
Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2023 10:37 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 27
Motto: Do or Die

Mon Apr 17, 2023 3:10 pm

21 is still very young. You were overweight for most of your life and are playing catch up right now. A lot of young men spend their 20s doing that.

In my experience, knowing how to conduct myself on dates was necessary to get most women interested in me. Like you, I was pretty inexperienced in dating and I went on a bunch of dates that went nowhere. With some help from this board and some trial and error I figured out how to act and been banging about 1 out of every 2 dates now.

Anyway, I think your problem right now is you’re not getting a lot of dates. That puts a lot of pressure on you and gives you less chances to experiment to find out what works. You probably need to either improve your profile, improve your looks, or lower your standards (practice dates are not a bad idea.) Hard to say which without seeing your profile.

Once you’re getting more chances you can try and tweak how you’re acting. For me it took only a few changes to make a big difference.
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Vice
Posts: 379 | Thanks: 120
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2021 6:22 am
Goal: Hit 190 lbs
Age: 33

Sat Jul 29, 2023 3:09 pm

Taking a quick glance at you and your post, I’m very confident that your current challenges are going to be very short-lived.

Start a log, I see a lot of potential in you. You’ve already taken massive action. Looking forward to watching your journey!
Vice's Log (Threesomes, military adventures, online dating shitshow, and shaking off the rust from night game: viewtopic.php?t=739
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