Hey guys!
OK, I've had a long dry spell. I don't just want to get laid, I want to explore BDSM after discovering this in 2018 via an LDR.
I've been following Andys' Tinder guides just to test the water and already getting some interest. I've also been talking to a girl I've met on an app and it's been going well, not a relationship, LD though so another story...
But I don't know if I'm ready for this, Andy says to go all in on my goal so I guess that would be improving my looks. For example, I need to get my teeth fixed, I'm pretty self-conscious about that. I could definitely be in better shape and my wardrobe needs an overhaul. But that could take a while, hence my question.
So, do you think it's wise to go all in on improving my looks, losing body fat, etc. before I even think about entering the dating pool? I know Andy has a page where he goes through all the excuses we can use and I've definitely been doing that, I need to dig it up and read through it. But there is a lot of onus on looking your best in these guides to have more chance of success.
Please move if in the wrong subforum, but I wanted to get some advice from people who've gone through this process already. It's the follow through I rally struggle with and I end up putting up all these barriers and excuses...
I think this is why I could benefit from coaching, lol.
Peace.
I just need some general advice on what t o focus on re dating and getting laid
- LifeTwoPointZero
- Posts: 9 | Thanks: 4
- Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2023 2:33 pm
- Name: TJ
- Goal: Reach my full potential
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- september
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- Name: Loki
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- Location: Toronto
perennial reminder to everyone that andy (whose other advice I really appreciate) has the absolute worst texting in all of PUA. please look up any other guide on texting and use thatLifeTwoPointZero wrote: ↑Sun Sep 10, 2023 1:41 pmI've been following Andys' Tinder guides just to test the water and already getting some interest
is it going well or is it LD. pick oneLifeTwoPointZero wrote: ↑Sun Sep 10, 2023 1:41 pmI've also been talking to a girl I've met on an app and it's been going well, not a relationship, LD though so another story
it's fine unless you're literally missing half your front teeth or something. my similar-looks brother has abysmal teeth, mine are normal, we get about the same amount of interest. this shouldn't be stopping you from dating
you look fine in the pfp, definitely already well in fuckable territory, losing fat being a prerequisite is more for obese guys. though it always helps to be leaner
definitely not a reason to delay dating
I'd say no and it's an obvious ploy by the anxious part of your brain to stop you from doing unpredictable socially risky stuff like dating instead of safe comfort zone monk mode shit.LifeTwoPointZero wrote: ↑Sun Sep 10, 2023 1:41 pmSo, do you think it's wise to go all in on improving my looks, losing body fat, etc. before I even think about entering the dating pool?
Dive in. You're more than ready
0/10000 lays, 582.94 underage approaches, 8 seconds nofap, 929 day streak complaining + no action
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- september
- Posts: 360 | Thanks: 233
- Joined: Tue Aug 10, 2021 8:21 pm
- Name: Loki
- Goal: master game
- Age: 25
- Motto: wagmi
- Location: Toronto
are you actually 48
0/10000 lays, 582.94 underage approaches, 8 seconds nofap, 929 day streak complaining + no action
schizoposting log
schizo voice notes telegram channel
best value photoshoot in north america
schizoposting log
schizo voice notes telegram channel
best value photoshoot in north america
- LifeTwoPointZero
- Posts: 9 | Thanks: 4
- Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2023 2:33 pm
- Name: TJ
- Goal: Reach my full potential
- Age: 48
- Motto: There is always a way
Thank you, this really helped put things n perspective. I just need to take action, I mean when are you ever ready?september wrote: ↑Sun Sep 10, 2023 4:09 pmperennial reminder to everyone that andy (whose other advice I really appreciate) has the absolute worst texting in all of PUA. please look up any other guide on texting and use thatLifeTwoPointZero wrote: ↑Sun Sep 10, 2023 1:41 pmI've been following Andys' Tinder guides just to test the water and already getting some interest
is it going well or is it LD. pick oneLifeTwoPointZero wrote: ↑Sun Sep 10, 2023 1:41 pmI've also been talking to a girl I've met on an app and it's been going well, not a relationship, LD though so another story
it's fine unless you're literally missing half your front teeth or something. my similar-looks brother has abysmal teeth, mine are normal, we get about the same amount of interest. this shouldn't be stopping you from dating
you look fine in the pfp, definitely already well in fuckable territory, losing fat being a prerequisite is more for obese guys. though it always helps to be leaner
definitely not a reason to delay dating
I'd say no and it's an obvious ploy by the anxious part of your brain to stop you from doing unpredictable socially risky stuff like dating instead of safe comfort zone monk mode shit.LifeTwoPointZero wrote: ↑Sun Sep 10, 2023 1:41 pmSo, do you think it's wise to go all in on improving my looks, losing body fat, etc. before I even think about entering the dating pool?
Dive in. You're more than ready
Insofar as the monk mode anxiety shit, is a good approach to treat dating as a way to gain experience and insights on what areas to work on etc?
In truth, I haven't dated irl or had sex for a loooong time due to long-term health issues. I think that's what I'm hung up on; performance anxiety!
So maybe jumping into bdsm is not so much the best way to reenter the dating pool lmao! Oh, so can you recommend a texting guide? I saw the one posted by another member if that's solid. I also came across Jim Wolfe recently who has some interesting stuff on dating etc.
But, Andy seems to have had a lot of success with that approach. He has the confidence though I suppose, that is my issue, lack of confidence. Having the balls to go all in and ask for what I want and have that sense of confidence with women when I meet them and not be total wuss haha!
And yes, I'm 48. We have weird genes in my family lol, but I do a lot of exercise, holistic and esoteric stuff to maintain and look after myself.
Last edited by LifeTwoPointZero on Sun Sep 17, 2023 2:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Tragedy
- Posts: 111 | Thanks: 26
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- Age: 30
- Motto: I want my last words to be "Once more!"
I would wait at least 5 years until everything is perfect
Jokes apart, no, I really don't see any reason not to start today.
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Jokes apart, no, I really don't see any reason not to start today.
I think none is. When I started to experiment some BDSM thing (btw I am talking exactly because I am not expert, nor super into that, and it still works) i just bought a rope a vibrator and a mask. No need to start like a pro dom, in fact probably it is even detrimental to overdo without experience. Start immediately and with few things, then build up from there.
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Very interested in why you think that! I don't remember anymore his style that's why I am asking
Details on my goals and progress: https://pastebin.com/2qsfC0sz
- LifeTwoPointZero
- Posts: 9 | Thanks: 4
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- Goal: Reach my full potential
- Age: 48
- Motto: There is always a way
Cmon, guy, going to take at least 10...Tragedy wrote: ↑Sun Sep 17, 2023 1:46 pmI would wait at least 5 years until everything is perfect
Jokes apart, no, I really don't see any reason not to start today.
I think none is. When I started to experiment some BDSM thing (btw I am talking exactly because I am not expert, nor super into that, and it still works) i just bought a rope a vibrator and a mask. No need to start like a pro dom, in fact probably it is even detrimental to overdo without experience. Start immediately and with few things, then build up from there.
-------------------------
Very interested in why you think that! I don't remember anymore his style that's why I am asking
I have started. Have I started in the right area though? Ie online dating. From what I've read it is skewed against us. The whole online dating game is rigged and it can be very damaging to the self-esteem if you put all your efforts into that without being aware of the way it works...
I listened to The Slight Edge recently and it was eye-opening. My next steps are going to be to try and find an NLP coach and maybe a PUA coach. I know it's going to be expensive though, so first; finances. Money is always a barrier; you need to invest in yourself to grow and become a better person but you can also be stuck in a rut of self-sabotage without awareness that can hold you back for years...but I'm going to implement the slight edge, and I'm now reading think and grow
Yeah, I'm probably going to start going to events and munches cause I want to meet actual people and connect irl. I honestly hate the whole online dating thing tbh, you have no idea who's real, who's fake, or who's just feeding off the attention...
Anyway, on the girl I mentioned, things seem to be progressing well. We're exploring a non-monogamous dynamic where we are the primary partners.
- GoodLookingNerd
- Posts: 203 | Thanks: 40
- Joined: Mon Aug 21, 2023 10:34 pm
- Goal: Regular crazy sex
- Age: 22
- Motto: Succeeding is the only option
Read the guide, it doesn't suck if you have a decent profile. If you don't, work on that before going all in with online dating cause getting 1 shitty match a week is disheartening. Also I would skip any LDR, might as well have a relationship with a chatbot.LifeTwoPointZero wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2023 1:20 pmI have started. Have I started in the right area though? Ie online dating. From what I've read it is skewed against us. The whole online dating game is rigged and it can be very damaging to the self-esteem if you put all your efforts into that without being aware of the way it works...
Lay count: 15
Current goals I am working on:
- get laid and explore sexual dynamics
- travel SE Asia
- get rid of AA
Current goals I am working on:
- get laid and explore sexual dynamics
- travel SE Asia
- get rid of AA
- MakingAComeback
- Posts: 4267 | Thanks: 4979
- Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
- Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
- Age: 32
- Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK
I worked on looks & dating at the same time.LifeTwoPointZero wrote: ↑Sun Sep 10, 2023 1:41 pmHey guys!
OK, I've had a long dry spell. I don't just want to get laid, I want to explore BDSM after discovering this in 2018 via an LDR.
I've been following Andys' Tinder guides just to test the water and already getting some interest. I've also been talking to a girl I've met on an app and it's been going well, not a relationship, LD though so another story...
But I don't know if I'm ready for this, Andy says to go all in on my goal so I guess that would be improving my looks. For example, I need to get my teeth fixed, I'm pretty self-conscious about that. I could definitely be in better shape and my wardrobe needs an overhaul. But that could take a while, hence my question.
So, do you think it's wise to go all in on improving my looks, losing body fat, etc. before I even think about entering the dating pool? I know Andy has a page where he goes through all the excuses we can use and I've definitely been doing that, I need to dig it up and read through it. But there is a lot of onus on looking your best in these guides to have more chance of success.
Please move if in the wrong subforum, but I wanted to get some advice from people who've gone through this process already. It's the follow through I rally struggle with and I end up putting up all these barriers and excuses...
I think this is why I could benefit from coaching, lol.
Peace.
It gave me impetus to become fucking SERIOUS about the journey.
You can do both.
Start a log, and we'll help you figure it out.
It can be done.
MAC
-Your friend, Ravi
Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential
My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential
My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
- LifeTwoPointZero
- Posts: 9 | Thanks: 4
- Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2023 2:33 pm
- Name: TJ
- Goal: Reach my full potential
- Age: 48
- Motto: There is always a way
I can't say my profile is good, it definitely needs work but I've been getting matches. Where I'm going wrong is closing, messaging always runs cold and back to square one. I've used the templates here and some other approaches just to push the conversation and see how far I can take it.GoodLookingNerd wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2023 1:50 pmRead the guide, it doesn't suck if you have a decent profile. If you don't, work on that before going all in with online dating cause getting 1 shitty match a week is disheartening. Also I would skip any LDR, might as well have a relationship with a chatbot.LifeTwoPointZero wrote: ↑Mon Sep 25, 2023 1:20 pmI have started. Have I started in the right area though? Ie online dating. From what I've read it is skewed against us. The whole online dating game is rigged and it can be very damaging to the self-esteem if you put all your efforts into that without being aware of the way it works...
We're non monogamous so it's all good.
- MakingAComeback
- Posts: 4267 | Thanks: 4979
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That sounds great man.
If you can, start a log and continue the discussion there.
If you need a hand to start a log, send me a private message.
Locking this.
MAC
If you can, start a log and continue the discussion there.
If you need a hand to start a log, send me a private message.
Locking this.
MAC
-Your friend, Ravi
Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential
My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential
My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe