If you're fat, it's your fault. If you're broke, it's your fault. If you can't get laid, it's your fault. Everyone lives exactly the life they deserve. This is the only mindset that gets you ahead in life. Why? Because the alternative is blaming it on external factors or on somebody else. Popular factors people blame their failures on are politicians, the economy, the stock market, the shitty parents that raised them, climate change, fate, their looks (genes) or sheer bad luck. I am not saying that these factors aren't real. Of course a bad economy can make it hard for you to make money. What I am saying is that focusing on external factors will not get you anywhere. Only if you take responsibility for everything in life, you will be able to change your life. Because then you put all the power into your own hands.
The truth is: life doesn't give a shit about you. Nobody really gives a shit about you. Terrible things can happen to anyone, so the only sensible thing to do is to develop thick skin, take responsibility and push through. Famous author Jordan Peterson even claims that the meaning of life is to take responsibility.
Recommended reading: Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins.
2 - Taking massive action is absolutely mandatory
There is no easy way. Whether you want to get ripped, good with girls or wealthy. There simply is no easy way. Don't believe the people who claim to have the easy way. It's all a marketing scheme. Marketers know that people don't like hard. They want it easy. That's why they come up with workout programs that promise you your dream body with only 1h of exercise per week. That's why the book "The 4 Hour Work Week" was a bestseller. Do some people make an incredible amount of money working only a few hours per week? Definitely. But they didn't start out like this. At one point in your life, you have to take massive action first in order to get to a position where you can work smart instead of hard. You won't get good with girls if you approach only one girl per week. You won't build your dream body from working out a bit on the side. You won't be financially free from working a bit on your new business on the side. You have to take massive action for a long period of time if you really want to be successful. That's also why prioritization is so important. The man who chases two rabbits catches none. Once you are successful in a certain area in life, you can start maintenance mode and prioritize another area. It's easier to keep a six-pack than to get one. It's easier to stay wealthy than to get wealthy.
Recommended reading: The 10X Rule by Grant Cardone.
3 - Set goals, develop a plan, execute
If you don't have any goals, personal growth gets 100x harder. You will just aimlessly walk through life. It's mindblowing to me how many people have no goals. And many of the people who do have goals, haven't defined them well enough. A goal should always be measurable, specific, and driven by a "Why". Losing weight is not a good goal. Losing 20lbs in 6 months because you want to bang top-tier models is a goal. If you have no strong "why", it will be hard to stay motivated, so find out exactly why you want to reach certain goals.
I personally also believe that you should set much higher goals than you think is possible. Shoot for the stars, land on the moon. Who cares if you fail all of your goals if the end result is still amazing. In 2019, my initial financial goal was to make $3,000 per month from my online business. After thinking about it, I increased the goal to $7,000 per month. Back then I found it highly unlikely to ever hit that goal. You want to know what happened? I failed! My most successful month was only $5,000 but since that is still higher than the initial $3,000, I was still happy. What's even more interesting: half a year later, I had my first $15,000 month!
Another thing that is important: read your goals on a regular basis! I try to read my monthly and yearly goals every single day. That's the only way to internalize them. If you simply forget about the goals you set, it's exactly as if you haven't set any goals in the first place. By reading them every day, you will also feel a sense of urgency since you will automatically compare your current progress to the goals you set. You also need to prioritize your goals.
Once you set your goals, you need to come up with a plan and execute it. Ray Dalio (billionaire hedge fund manager) lays out the following process in his book "Principles" to get whatever the fuck you want:
- Have a clear goal
- Identify possible problems and don't tolerate them
- Precisely diagnose the problems and find the root cause
- Develop plans
- Do what's necessary to get the desired results
4- Habits are your most powerful weapon
Having positive habits makes your life a lot easier. It makes you healthier, more disciplined and gives you a more positive mindset. I am not even gonna write more about this. Instead, just read a book about habits. I don't care which book you read. Personally, I read Atomic Habits by James Clear but I also heard good things about "The Power of Habit". Read one of those two books and start working on your habits. You can also derive habits from your goals. Example: if your goal is to sleep with 50 women this year, ask yourself what habits you need to establish to come closer to your goal. It probably involves working out regularly, approaching everyday, and other things. Then your goals give your habits meaning and it will be easier to stick to them. In a sense, habits are basically a way of executing your plan to reach your goals.
5 - Be proactive, not reactive
This has a lot to do with lesson 1 - Taking responsibility. I've learned this lesson from my parents, but in a negative way. My parents are the definition of reactive (most people are). My dad has pretty serious health issues but he is very reactive about it. He's has been saying "let's just see how it goes" for years while his health gets worse and worse.
What I would do instead: be proactive. Seek out the best medical expert in the relevant field. Change my diet. Talk to people who were in my shoes. Do something, anything. If you do nothing, you are basically retreating. You're giving up!
6 - Don't trust the mainstream
Realize that everything you learn from age 6 to 20 is probably orchestrated by the elite who is running the world. School is one gigantic indoctrination program and once you graduate from school, the media takes over and brainwashes you some more. Have you ever asked yourself why nobody teaches people in school:
- how to take care of their finances
- how money is created and how the financial system works (it's not that complicated)
- how to live a healthy life free from sugar
- who owns most mainstream media
- how democracy really works
- how geopolitics work
- how to set goals and go after them
- how divide & conquer works (see current black vs. whites debate) and how the masses are controlled by instilling fear (see current COVID-19 topic)
It's all designed to keep you weak and under control. So that the rich and powerful can stay rich and powerful.
If people knew how banks and money work, all banks would collapse. If people knew, that the majority of laws that were passed in the last 100 years mostly benefitted the rich, there would be decade long protests. If people knew how to invest and take care of their money, the people on top of the pyramid scheme that is disguised as "the economy" wouldn't benefit as much as they do now. If young people made it a habit to avoid sugar early on in their lives, the entire sugar, pharma and health industry would take a billion-dollar hit. Millions of human lives would be saved every year but instead they push the agenda of the dangerous terrorists (who kill a tiny fraction of the people that sugar kills) so they can increase their "defense" budget (which is actually an attack budget to secure as much oil and political influence as possible) by the billions of dollars.
My advice is: be careful what kind of media you consume or simply stop consuming media at all (= TV + newspapers). Question everything you read and hear. Always ask yourself: "who's the one benefiting the most". Take care of yourself first and foremost. Get your shit together, before you lose your shit about politics, etc. Don't let anyone divide you or instill fear in you.
Recommended reading: everything from Rainer Mausfeld (unfortunately, most of his stuff is not available in English but there are some Youtube videos with English subtitle)
7 - Learn from people who have been in your shoes
This is something I have never done and I could kick my ass for it. Now that I am somewhat successful and helping others, I realize that by learning from people who have done what you want to do, you can speed up your progress significantly. Overcome your ego and simply ask for help. You already found the right place for it with this forum.
8 - Health, Time, and Freedom are the most valuable resources on earth
Money is abundant. Millions are printed every hour. The only resources that really matter are your health (no health = no life) and time. Time is running out for all of us and it can't be replaced. Every hour that passed is gone and won't come back. This is true for everyone. Jeff Bezos might be the richest person in the world in terms of money (actually he isn't, the richest people want to keep a low profile, see lesson 6), but in terms of time he is just as rich as you and me.
As for freedom: this has a lot to do with time (the more time you have for yourself, the more freedom you usually have). However, there are also various ways to restrict your freedom. Ask yourself if you really want to restrict your freedom by doing these (partially stupid) things:
- Drugs, alcohol, fights, anything that can get you a criminal record and fuck up your freedom
- Mortage on that fat house you thought you needed
- Wifey and family you thought you needed to be happy
- Stupid degrees you thought you needed to make it in life but only resulted in thousands of student loan debt
- Cars and other expensive shit you can't afford
- Any illegitimate children
- Any 9-5 job that doesn't truly make you happy and drains the life out of you.
9 - Always be grateful
This is a lesson I have learned from traveling to a lot of poor countries. If you're not born into poverty, you should always be grateful for that. You basically already won the lottery at birth. Anytime I am upset about something or feel unfairly treated, I remind myself that there are people out there in the world who work 14 hour days in fucking African coal mines just to get a few dollars to feed their family, while I'm making 1000x more money by pushing some buttons on my computer. Chances are, that if you're reading this, you are privileged. So, next time you victimize yourself or bitch about something, think about the coal mine workers in Africa and be a little grateful. In lesson 1 I said that life doesn't give a shit about you and that's true. Life is not easy. But at the same time, life is also not hard anymore. Life used to be hard for the people who went to World War I, lost all of their friends and family, had their wives and children raped just to survive and fight another world war a few years later. THAT was a hard life.
10 - You can become anything you want
Once you take responsibility for everything, defined your goals, defined who you want to become, mapped out the necessary steps, established positive habits, took massive action... then you can become (almost) anything and anyone. You can build the life of your dreams and you'll be stronger than ever. Most people don't do any of these things because it's uncomfortable and it requires courage to go against the mainstream and carve out your own path (after all, we have all been brainwashed for decades). It has never been easier in the history of mankind to be successful (regardless of your definition of success). All the resources and knowledge is at your fingertips. It's only up to you to make the best out of it.
What are the lessons that you learned so far?