Trying to Figure Out What I Need to Do... Feeling Lost

Post Reply
User avatar
RobbyRhomboids
Posts: 11 | Thanks: 3
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 8:26 pm
Name: Rob
Goal: Make >€25,000/year
Age: 22
Motto: Complacency is the death of man

Tue Jul 27, 2021 12:26 am

Hi guys,

I made an account here in about April and I've lurked occasionally but I've finally felt the need to shift into first gear.

I'm 22 living at home with my parents. My original plan was to move to Europe and go to med school, but I failed the entrance exam there by 3 questions and very quickly tried to think of a solution to my issue. I decided on pursuing medicine here and taking the MCAT in spring. I'm working essentially full-time hours as a part-time morgue technician right now and make about $40,000 a year from this. My work is absolutely miserable, but I was willing to hold out given the short timeline until I would get into med school. As of late though I've been incongruent regarding medicine and whether it is really what I want to do though and have lost that laser-like focus that I've had these last 3 years.

My parents are wonderful people, but they easily persuade me into these fantasies about moving to Europe and if I'm honest I'm not entirely against the ideas that they suggest as I love the lifestyle in Western Europe (my family is originally from Malta) but I feel like I'm not really making decisions for myself. I was planning on moving out in November, buying a car, and staying in the US but I'm conflicted now.

As of early this year I was still in school, had no license, and had only 1 lay in my life. I've now gotten some more experience with women (4 total lays), I've gotten my license and have ample driving experience on my own, have a decent amount of money saved up, and have started a powerlifting coaching business with 2 of my friends (not enough to provide liveable income yet).

I still want to pursue some higher education be it med school or a master's in some field related to fitness but I'm not sure what I want in this regard either, no matter how much I try to think about it.

I also want to get better with women, but I've gotten into a bit of a mental fuckup because of this one chick I was talking to and don't think it would be good to pursue getting laid more right now when there are more important issues ahead of me (moving out, getting a car, figuring out what I want to do with my career).

Just guessing, I came here and wrote this in an effort to talk this through with like-minded, unbiased people. My friends, and my parents have given me advice but both sides are entirely way too biased and the flip-flopping is a bit overwhelming. I've just haven't felt so unsure of myself like this for quite some time.

Rob
User avatar
BouffeQ
Posts: 67 | Thanks: 24
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2020 12:19 pm
Goal: 1 date per week
Age: 31

Thu Aug 19, 2021 11:28 am

Hi Rob,

Bumping the thread as you mentioned in my thread that you made the decision to move in Malta. What changed and what made you decide to go for it? What will keep you busy there?

Just a heads-up, this country is incredibly difficult for dating, even my good-looking, extrovert friends struggle. So just think, if you can make it here, you'll make it anywhere!
User avatar
oddish
Posts: 38 | Thanks: 21
Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2021 3:00 pm
Name: Jeroen
Goal: Achieve freedom
Age: 33

Tue Aug 31, 2021 6:27 am

Hey Robby man,

Just popping in here for some quick advice, since I'm 33 right now and I was in a very similar situation as you when I was 18-25. And I took all the wrong decisions!

First off all, Parents and friends are the WORST advice givers. You might think otherwise since they know you so well but its a double sided blade. Their opinion will ALWAYS (always!) be biased. Even when they say they only want the best for you (which they do!) Subconciously they will have a bias from their own personal experiences and expectations. This is human and something we all do. However with family and friends this bias is way bigger. since you're a big influence in their life.

They will try to protect you by advising you not to take big risks.
They will want to keep you around for as long as possible. Because they love you.
They want to hold you back because, they don't want to see you improve. Not because they don't want to best for you, but self impovement is a big mirror for their own lifes.
They're actual shitty friends that don't want you to succeed. Remember, misery needs company.

When it comes to making big life decisions, trust your gut! Ask for opinions, but remember, they're just opinions!
When it comes to finding your passion, vocation, job, whatever. TRY STUFF OUT! And stick to it for a while before dismissing it. There is no such thing as one true passion, that you are meant to do. There's just stuff you like doing and stuff you don't like doing. Figure out by yourself what you want by trying it for a while.

My immediate acionable advice to you:
MOVE OUT!
Get a parttime job to pay the bills. Or just anything (legal) that pays the bills. While you try to figure it out.
HAVE FUN! these really are the best years of your life, don't ruin them by worrying to much.
Get as much experiences as possbile. Experience (and failure) is the only true teacher.

Generally, just take life by the balls and do whatever you want.

I hope this helps,

Jeroen
Post Reply