Just something of my chest after a tough night out

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Pluto
Posts: 315 | Thanks: 45
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2022 12:08 am
Goal: Lose fat
Age: 29
Motto: Push It Past The Limit

Wed May 11, 2022 2:34 am

I was in your situation back in my college days and what I found was that I was putting too much emphasis on getting laid rather than just having a good time to where how I did with women impacted how good of a time I had. The issue with pickup and asking dudes to spam approach is to you unintentionally become outcome dependent, if a girl is not giving you the time of the day then your night is ruined or your outing is ruined. Instead, what I noticed in my time in school now looking back at it is that the cool guys who did get girls were just there to have a good time, enjoy good vibes, and the girl just sort of came along with that.

The most important thing to really master before you start "game" per se is your vibe, emotions, and how you feel about yourself before you even go out. One exercise that has helped me immensely is that I will watch a positive or outright funny video (especially from comedians) which puts me in a playful and fun mood. My nights out are way more fun than they used to be back when I was heavily dependent on getting laid. Too many guys get into "game" without truly fixing their vibe, their mentality, and mastering their emotions and they don't even fix this during the time they learn game.

What this leads to is situations where dudes will do 100+ approaches, not get shit, blame the city, claim that you need a top tier social circle to even get quality women, and become bitter about everything.

As for your situation, if your faculty threw the event, I think your focus should have been on going out, having a great time, enjoying a good time with classmates, and not even stressing as much about meeting women and getting laid.

I won't comment further as you may need outside intervention but I am asking you to serious consider what I said.
7/20/22

Weight = 183 somewhat regularly

Number of lays in 2022 = 22
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Squilliam
Posts: 2066 | Thanks: 362
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2021 12:57 am
Goal: Be happy
Age: 24
Motto: Pain is temporary. Greatness lasts forever

Wed May 11, 2022 2:56 am

I suggest checking out this GLL article:
https://www.goodlookingloser.com/anxiet ... al-anxiety
check out my blog: https://squilzpursuit.wordpress.com/

- Do 1000 approaches by end of 2024 (~350/1000)
- Get laid from daygame
- Learn game and stop being a social autist
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terry_crews87
Posts: 62 | Thanks: 49
Joined: Mon Jun 29, 2020 8:38 pm
Goal: get laid/online dating
Age: 33
Motto: sucess is positive action every day

Wed May 11, 2022 6:06 am

@Pluto gave some great advice. I have bad adhd and one of the worst aspects for me is a thing called "rejection sensitive dysphoria". Getting rejected by induvidual girls never bothered me, but getting rejected at life was really fucking painful.

Not fitting in with coworkers , school/learning troubles, being afraid of appearing stupid, social anxiety, afriad of looking nervous. If a situation wasn't going good my brain would start to anticipate the rejection, and how many times before in my life something similar happened , and all the negative self talk in my head beating myself up for fucking up again. Why is everybody else having such a easy time with this shit and im struggling like a fucking loser, AGAIN. Most of these people I felt i was smarter, cooler, funner, better looking than. These thoughts would affect my (over) -reactions, I'd get flustered, mad, and want to disappear. On the way home I would just be shitting on myself and i would ruminate constantly sometime to tears.

These negative thought loops about yourself cause the endless self fulfilling prophecy of rejection breeding more rejection. You anticipate it , brace for it, get defensive, and your attitude is making it worse and making it happen more. You have to be a lot kinder to yourself and try to learn how to RELAX. Stop being so fucking uptight. Always be trying to improve in your life so you have a reason to feel good about yourself. But even if you are in a shit place in life, you need to love yourself regardless.

I've been doing nofap on and off for years. Even when Im getting good consistent sex, jerking off makes me feel beta as hell. After a week, im already much more confident, assertive, better body language, and what people think about me does not bother me. Without fail, every time i make it to 2 weeks my social skills make me feel like i can do anything. I watched porn for a couple hours over the last few days and I've been an awkward unconfident mess everywhere i go. If im on a long streak nothing can make me feel nervous socially.

Porn fucks up your head, and if your not getting laid, constantly jerking off to unattainable images on a screen programs your brain into thinking your a cuck loser basically. For me, no amount of drugs or alcohol can make me feel as confident, and carefree and better socially (especially with women) than what i get naturally than from stopping that bad habbit that most people have. All my friends i've talked into trying it all agreed with me after giving it an honest effort. Nofap makes my rejection sensitivity disappear 100%. I typed all this out cuz i want to see you get the results and happiness you deserve brother. Theres a reason why fighters have abstained leading up to fights for hundreds of years , letting that energy build up inside you gives you the confidence and assertiveness to be the man you know you can be.
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 90 | Thanks: 24
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Relationship,Threesomes
Age: 36

Sun May 29, 2022 6:20 am

People in self-improvement circles will say, do a shit ton of approaches so you wont care anymore. But doing this is basically traumatizing myself even more. At least that’s how it feels to me. I will still do it. Because I probably have no other choice but to go through all this pain.
I feel the same way after doing a bunch of cold approaches. I'm going to keep going until I get numb to the pain or desensitized. Some people call it getting thick skin. I don't know any way to make it fun.
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