Crimson‘s Journey to Self-Love

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Drama
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Tue Sep 20, 2022 9:41 pm

Hey dude, from someone who's been in the absolute hell hole of suicidal depression, my number one recommendation is to hit the gym consistently. Any kind of exercise helps, but gym is very, very rewarding. It will start to rewire your brain and lessen those feelings.

Obviously depression and suicidal ideation are much more complex than just hitting the gym, but any pathway to stability in mental health requires action.

The other thing I'd recommend is journalling - It's a surefire way to sort out what your mind is actually thinking, forcing you to put it into structured sentences rather than incoherent ramblings.
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Crimson
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Tue Sep 20, 2022 9:51 pm

Drama wrote:
Tue Sep 20, 2022 9:41 pm
Hey dude, from someone who's been in the absolute hell hole of suicidal depression, my number one recommendation is to hit the gym consistently. Any kind of exercise helps, but gym is very, very rewarding. It will start to rewire your brain and lessen those feelings.

Obviously depression and suicidal ideation are much more complex than just hitting the gym, but any pathway to stability in mental health requires action.

The other thing I'd recommend is journalling - It's a surefire way to sort out what your mind is actually thinking, forcing you to put it into structured sentences rather than incoherent ramblings.
Thank you for the practical advice. I’ve actually been quitting on the gym for the last couple days because I’ve been feeling this way. Ironic considering it would help me. I will go tomorrow.

And I will buy a journal tomorrow as well, I totally get what you’re saying about how it helps to process your thoughts.

Crimson
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Drama
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Tue Sep 20, 2022 10:00 pm

Crimson wrote:
Tue Sep 20, 2022 9:51 pm
Thank you for the practical advice. I’ve actually been quitting on the gym for the last couple days because I’ve been feeling this way. Ironic considering it would help me. I will go tomorrow.

And I will buy a journal tomorrow as well, I totally get what you’re saying about how it helps to process your thoughts.

Crimson
Yeah man, use the gym as an outlet for all your negative feelings. Anger and frustration can be used as tools to drive your workouts, and it will reduce those feelings in the process. The biggest thing with this is keeping consistent. Make sure you have some fitness goals laid out and a plan to get there. Get a personal trainer if you're lost.

Other things to look at are diet and sleep routing. Gym, diet and sleep are the three fundamental pillars to good mental health.

Another really good practice is waking up at the same time every day. There are studies done on this that show it's one of the most effective ways to reduce depression.

And with journalling, be as honest with yourself as you possibly can. Later on you can start incorporating things you're reading. I recommend "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius for stoicism, but if you want some Red Pill material, there's tonnes out there too, ie. "The Rational Male".
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90kg BW @ 10% BF - 87/90 @ 12%/10%
Fuck a 9
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Crimson
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Thu Sep 22, 2022 6:42 am

Drama wrote:
Tue Sep 20, 2022 10:00 pm
Crimson wrote:
Tue Sep 20, 2022 9:51 pm
Thank you for the practical advice. I’ve actually been quitting on the gym for the last couple days because I’ve been feeling this way. Ironic considering it would help me. I will go tomorrow.

And I will buy a journal tomorrow as well, I totally get what you’re saying about how it helps to process your thoughts.

Crimson
Yeah man, use the gym as an outlet for all your negative feelings. Anger and frustration can be used as tools to drive your workouts, and it will reduce those feelings in the process. The biggest thing with this is keeping consistent. Make sure you have some fitness goals laid out and a plan to get there. Get a personal trainer if you're lost.

Other things to look at are diet and sleep routing. Gym, diet and sleep are the three fundamental pillars to good mental health.

Another really good practice is waking up at the same time every day. There are studies done on this that show it's one of the most effective ways to reduce depression.

And with journalling, be as honest with yourself as you possibly can. Later on you can start incorporating things you're reading. I recommend "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius for stoicism, but if you want some Red Pill material, there's tonnes out there too, ie. "The Rational Male".
Thanks, I went to the gym yesterday, it’s such a great way to let out your resentment etc.
My sleep schedule is messed up, I can’t remember the last time I had 8 or even 7 hours of sleep.

I will started journaling today as well. As of right now, I’m reading “You Can’t Afford The Luxury Of A Negative Thought”, but I will add “Meditations” and “The Rational Male” to the list.

Crimson
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Manly Cockfellow
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Thu Sep 22, 2022 12:09 pm



This is a guy who has also struggled with his mental health, and what worked for him is practicing mindfulness.

If you like his YouTube video on mindfulness I'd recommend his skillshare class as well (it's only about 20-30 min and is free if you cancel your subscription after watching).

And definitely keep reading You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought.
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Crimson
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Thu Sep 22, 2022 4:53 pm

Manly Cockfellow wrote:
Thu Sep 22, 2022 12:09 pm


This is a guy who has also struggled with his mental health, and what worked for him is practicing mindfulness.

If you like his YouTube video on mindfulness I'd recommend his skillshare class as well (it's only about 20-30 min and is free if you cancel your subscription after watching).

And definitely keep reading You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought.
Thank you for the recommendation, I’ve actually watched a couple of his videos, I’ll watch this one right now. And I will keep reading the book, it’s so eye-opening.
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Crimson
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Thu Nov 03, 2022 1:49 pm

Self-Harm

I’ve just hurt myself, I cut my left forearm with a razor (very shallow) and then hit that spot repeatedly. It started bleeding a little and is now a bit swollen.

The point of this post is probably to get pity and attention, but I’ll post it anyway as it’s better to tell someone rather than no one.

I never really thought I would cut myself, though. I’ve hit myself before but no cutting. I would see Self-Harm scars on the internet and would wonder why you would do something Iike that.

But the pain gave me an euphoric feeling, I felt alive and better during and after doing it. I can definitely see how it becomes a routine for people now, the pain is a huge relief (like a high), I’m really craving more of it (I was crying soon after though, so it’s obviously only temporary).



Anyways, I might open up to my school counselor about this (and skipping school, suicidal ideation ect.) I’m quite scared and embarrassed though.

So at the very least what I’ll do today is lend out a book from the local library about learning CBT for dummies and post it as proof.


Crimson
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Squilliam
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Thu Nov 03, 2022 3:15 pm

Crimson wrote:
Thu Nov 03, 2022 1:49 pm
Anyways, I might open up to my school counselor about this (and skipping school, suicidal ideation ect.) I’m quite scared and embarrassed though.
Do not tell them you are suicidal. You could get hospitalized. Or at the very least, make it very clear that you don't actually intend to follow through. I'd suggest you focus talking about the problems that lead you here in the first place.

Not sure how things work in Germany, but in the US, certain people (therapists, counselors, etc) have a legal obligation to report suicidal people to emergency services. However, I think this generally applies more to imminent threats. If you were to just say, "Sometimes I think about suicide", that probably wouldn't be enough. If you said, "I'm going to kill myself tomorrow", then you'll definitely get sent to a hospital.

I speak from experience, I spent 4 days in a psych hospital when I was 19.
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Crimson
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Thu Nov 03, 2022 4:20 pm

Squilliam wrote:
Thu Nov 03, 2022 3:15 pm
Crimson wrote:
Thu Nov 03, 2022 1:49 pm
Anyways, I might open up to my school counselor about this (and skipping school, suicidal ideation ect.) I’m quite scared and embarrassed though.
Do not tell them you are suicidal. You could get hospitalized. Or at the very least, make it very clear that you don't actually intend to follow through. I'd suggest you focus talking about the problems that lead you here in the first place.

Not sure how things work in Germany, but in the US, certain people (therapists, counselors, etc) have a legal obligation to report suicidal people to emergency services. However, I think this generally applies more to imminent threats. If you were to just say, "Sometimes I think about suicide", that probably wouldn't be enough. If you said, "I'm going to kill myself tomorrow", then you'll definitely get sent to a hospital.

I speak from experience, I spent 4 days in a psych hospital when I was 19.
Ok, thank you for the info. I won’t be so explicit about it, I’m not really trying to end up in a hospital either.
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Crimson
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Thu Nov 03, 2022 4:21 pm

Just got the book:
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Red
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Thu Nov 03, 2022 4:29 pm

Crimson wrote:
Thu Nov 03, 2022 1:49 pm
Self-Harm
Man first of all good luck overcoming this stuff.

Just one quick question. Have you ever checked your micronutrients and especially vitamin D levels? Might be worth it.

Also for me I feel like total shit after some big dopamine binge like watching porn. Be aware of that.

I am rooting for you and hope this will have a good ending.

Red
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Crimson
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Thu Nov 03, 2022 4:41 pm

Red wrote:
Thu Nov 03, 2022 4:29 pm
Crimson wrote:
Thu Nov 03, 2022 1:49 pm
Self-Harm
Man first of all good luck overcoming this stuff.

Just one quick question. Have you ever checked your micronutrients and especially vitamin D levels? Might be worth it.

Also for me I feel like total shit after some big dopamine binge like watching porn. Be aware of that.

I am rooting for you and hope this will have a good ending.

Red
Thank you and a year ago I got my blood tested (if that’s what you mean) during a suicidal episode, but everything came back normal. That was a year ago though, so perhaps I should do it again.

As for the porn, yeah definitely, I’m struggling with that a lot and I do feel better when I’m not jerking off, this could have something to do with my current state.

Thank you for your advice.
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goldfish
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Thu Nov 03, 2022 5:06 pm

Sorry about the self-harm stuff. For what it's worth you'll get through this eventually.

I'd recommend putting a full bottle of water in your freezer and keep it there. When you feel very intense emotions and want to cut yourself, grab that frozen bottle of water and put it on your head for a couple of seconds. This does one of two things: a) snaps you out of it because of the new "shocking" stimulus b) the act of getting up and doing something with the intention of stopping yourself from cutting can also snap you out of it

I also recommend learning some breathing exercises to calm yourself down during moments when you're feeling a lot of intense emotions. The one I do is to take a deep breath for the count of 3, hold it for 4, then exhale for 4. This might not help that much at first, but eventually you'll wire your brain to take a pause and calm down just by initiating this breathing exercise. This takes some practice though so keep at it
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Thu Nov 03, 2022 10:38 pm

This isn’t a simple matter, so I don’t have much to contribute. I’m rooting for you, brother.
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Crimson
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Fri Nov 04, 2022 9:52 am

goldfish wrote:
Thu Nov 03, 2022 5:06 pm
Sorry about the self-harm stuff. For what it's worth you'll get through this eventually.

I'd recommend putting a full bottle of water in your freezer and keep it there. When you feel very intense emotions and want to cut yourself, grab that frozen bottle of water and put it on your head for a couple of seconds. This does one of two things: a) snaps you out of it because of the new "shocking" stimulus b) the act of getting up and doing something with the intention of stopping yourself from cutting can also snap you out of it

I also recommend learning some breathing exercises to calm yourself down during moments when you're feeling a lot of intense emotions. The one I do is to take a deep breath for the count of 3, hold it for 4, then exhale for 4. This might not help that much at first, but eventually you'll wire your brain to take a pause and calm down just by initiating this breathing exercise. This takes some practice though so keep at it
Alright, thank you for the advice. I’ll post the fully frozen bottle on here today, for accountability, I’ll do the breathing exercise today as well.
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