What to do When You Feel Hopeless and Helpless

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KillYourInnerLoser
Posts: 516 | Thanks: 371
Joined: Fri May 29, 2020 7:03 am
Name: Andy
Goal: Writing full-time.
Age: 33
Motto: "You sure as hell can too."
Location: Australia
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Sun Jun 07, 2020 2:37 pm

Hopelessness and helplessness are possibly the two biggest roadblocks to your success – the two things that fuck you up the most. They’re both insidious too, in that they sit under the surface, in your subconscious, without you necessarily realising. They sabotage your success – it’s really bloody hard to make changes and work towards success if you think nothing you do will ever really work and nothing really matters.

Hopelessless/helplessness goes beyond depression – it’s far more insidious. Hopelessness isn’t just “I don’t think this will work” – it’s deeper than that. It’s a completely overwhelming knowledge that this won’t work – often expressed with “Never” and “Always” statements. “I’ll never be successful”. “I will always be a loser”. Like you’re 100% adamant it’s true; like your failure is already guaranteed before you’ve even tried.

If you believe you’ll always be a failure, & you’ll never be successful, then you’re going to self-sabotage yourself. You’ll think “I’m destined to be a failure, so I may as well hurry up and fail so I can get it over and done with.” You’ll get in your own way, and you won’t fully follow-through with the advice I/others give you. You won’t fully commit to taking action; instead just half-assing everything because deep down you’re convinced it won’t really work… so why even bother?

If you’re feeling hopeless, convinced you can’t I want you to make your way through these questions, and answer them. Either write it all down on a big piece of paper, or on your computer, or if you’re feeling brave – post them in a reply below and we'll help you.
  • Why does Andy (and other successful players) deserve to get laid a lot, but not me? Why am I special?
  • Andy was a total loser at the start, so if he can get laid a lot, why can’t I?
  • Am I just putting up bullshit excuses like these ones?
  • Why does Andy deserve to overcome his depression, but not me?
  • Why wouldn’t girls like me? Is there really something wrong with me? Can I improve that or work around it?
  • Do I want to feel helpless and hopeless? Does my hopelessness help or protect me in some way – am I getting something out of it? (Watch this podcast, it covers this topic in great detail and will blow your mind).
  • Do my flaws really mean no women will ever like me? Can I make up for my flaws by having some really strong, awesome strengths?
  • What attributes would a player have, that I don’t?
  • Can I work on getting those attributes?
  • Do I deserve to be miserable and unhappy? Why? Why do other people deserve to be happy, but not me?
  • Am I destined to be a failure for life, or can I change that?
  • Did the universe/God/whatever preordaine me to be a failure? Does that have to be the case, or can I rise up and change the course of my own life?
  • The guys that are players – not all of them were players at the start [I – Andy – am a good example of this]. So they literally learned how to get laid a lot, learned how to improve themselves, learned how to lose fat, learned how to make friends, learned how to beat depression, learned how to overcome their negative thoughts… Can’t I just learn all those skills too, one by one?

Read the rest of the article here:

What to do When You Feel Hopeless and Helpless

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Andy / Australia
My Transformation

140+ lays / 14 threesomes / 1 foursome (MFFF)
Goals 2020: Pay all bills from coaching. Finish 3some & BDSM guides.
PM me for 1-on-1 coaching
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Manganiello
Posts: 6 | Thanks: 10
Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2020 2:25 am
Name: Manganiello
Goal: Get laid
Age: 29

Sun Jun 07, 2020 4:58 pm

Great Post. Knowing that everyone (especially very successful people) felt the same fear, insecurity and doubt helps a lot. Successful people usually just stick to things longer. Nobody has a free pass.

I find taking a LOT of action is a cure all.

Doubt is just a feeling and it comes with new territory.

Two awesome books I've read on the topic:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27213329-grit
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/ ... ting-there
Beat AA in 2020
...Week 2 Complete
Weigh 165 by December 31 2020...
...Nov'19 - 223 , May'20 - 188,
3 lays in 2020
21 lays in 2021
...0/24
User avatar
KillYourInnerLoser
Posts: 516 | Thanks: 371
Joined: Fri May 29, 2020 7:03 am
Name: Andy
Goal: Writing full-time.
Age: 33
Motto: "You sure as hell can too."
Location: Australia
Contact:

Sun Jun 07, 2020 11:08 pm

Oh yeah man, even those ahead of you on this self-improvement journey still feel the same things you feel - fear, doubt, hopelessness, insecurity.

Right now I feel like "I'll never make it as a full-time coach". And "My site will never really take off". That shit is par for the course; you just take a deep breath, say, "It's ok to have doubts" and keep on pushing forward.

I'll read those 2 books in future one day, I've added them to my todo list. They look good.
Andy / Australia
My Transformation

140+ lays / 14 threesomes / 1 foursome (MFFF)
Goals 2020: Pay all bills from coaching. Finish 3some & BDSM guides.
PM me for 1-on-1 coaching
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GravyTrain
Posts: 137 | Thanks: 114
Joined: Sun May 31, 2020 7:05 am
Goal: Make money
Age: 24
Motto: Hustle & Motivate
Location: California

Mon Jun 08, 2020 5:40 am

Can 100% agree with the doubts and shit. I have them all the time.

BUT

Action over everything. I also find when I'm "bored" or took the day off, my mind starts to wander... if I'm slammed busy with a full day, I don't have time to wonder. I'm just packed with action then pass out after.
24 Years Old
2020 Goals:
50k/mo profit (38/50 Done)
Have Meaningful Relationships with Women
5 Days Snowboarding

MY YT CHANNEL (COPY WHAT I'M DOING TO MAKE MONEY):
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdIDA3 ... EbtQTYz90A
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Manganiello
Posts: 6 | Thanks: 10
Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2020 2:25 am
Name: Manganiello
Goal: Get laid
Age: 29

Mon Jun 08, 2020 5:46 pm

So true. If you want to meet the devil have white space on your schedule.

Grit is the better book, it's a thorough study on the biggest predictor of success.
Beat AA in 2020
...Week 2 Complete
Weigh 165 by December 31 2020...
...Nov'19 - 223 , May'20 - 188,
3 lays in 2020
21 lays in 2021
...0/24
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