Hopelessless/helplessness goes beyond depression – it’s far more insidious. Hopelessness isn’t just “I don’t think this will work” – it’s deeper than that. It’s a completely overwhelming knowledge that this won’t work – often expressed with “Never” and “Always” statements. “I’ll never be successful”. “I will always be a loser”. Like you’re 100% adamant it’s true; like your failure is already guaranteed before you’ve even tried.
If you believe you’ll always be a failure, & you’ll never be successful, then you’re going to self-sabotage yourself. You’ll think “I’m destined to be a failure, so I may as well hurry up and fail so I can get it over and done with.” You’ll get in your own way, and you won’t fully follow-through with the advice I/others give you. You won’t fully commit to taking action; instead just half-assing everything because deep down you’re convinced it won’t really work… so why even bother?
If you’re feeling hopeless, convinced you can’t I want you to make your way through these questions, and answer them. Either write it all down on a big piece of paper, or on your computer, or if you’re feeling brave – post them in a reply below and we'll help you.
- Why does Andy (and other successful players) deserve to get laid a lot, but not me? Why am I special?
- Andy was a total loser at the start, so if he can get laid a lot, why can’t I?
- Am I just putting up bullshit excuses like these ones?
- Why does Andy deserve to overcome his depression, but not me?
- Why wouldn’t girls like me? Is there really something wrong with me? Can I improve that or work around it?
- Do I want to feel helpless and hopeless? Does my hopelessness help or protect me in some way – am I getting something out of it? (Watch this podcast, it covers this topic in great detail and will blow your mind).
- Do my flaws really mean no women will ever like me? Can I make up for my flaws by having some really strong, awesome strengths?
- What attributes would a player have, that I don’t?
- Can I work on getting those attributes?
- Do I deserve to be miserable and unhappy? Why? Why do other people deserve to be happy, but not me?
- Am I destined to be a failure for life, or can I change that?
- Did the universe/God/whatever preordaine me to be a failure? Does that have to be the case, or can I rise up and change the course of my own life?
- The guys that are players – not all of them were players at the start [I – Andy – am a good example of this]. So they literally learned how to get laid a lot, learned how to improve themselves, learned how to lose fat, learned how to make friends, learned how to beat depression, learned how to overcome their negative thoughts… Can’t I just learn all those skills too, one by one?
Read the rest of the article here:
What to do When You Feel Hopeless and Helpless