Cold Approach Log: Journey out of Despair

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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Mon Aug 30, 2021 5:57 pm

Rags2Bitches wrote:
Mon Aug 30, 2021 6:41 am
ok i edited 3 of them. will pm you high res versions
you should try this one as your first

69835D83-3EBC-4887-891D-DA5708D5E568.jpeg

this one as your 2nd

7EB2D192-0890-4253-A28C-5FC9666E37CA.jpeg

and this one further back in the line up

C7CE19AB-40EA-4548-B2DD-F96FD391EE34.jpeg

this will give you a good base. standing against the wall with white button down is also decent, didn’t have time to edit that one (facial expression is a bit too sad). even if you use just those first 3 photos (don’t add inferior photos just for the sake of adding them, especially not in repeating clothes) you should see an immediate improvement over your last profile.

priorities for your next photoshoot:
- group photo where you are smiling…hire someone or ask strangers if you don’t have friends, doesn’t matter
- animal photo..take photographer to the shelter if you or your friends don’t have one..those dogs need someone to play with them, it’s a win win for you and the shelter/dogs
- hobby photo (can be literally anything, even cooking, whatever). should look natural and not posed…don’t look at the camera

your style is also pretty bad…shirts and jeans are too loose, shoes aren’t good, not a fan of that necklace either. good thing that’s one of the fastest areas to fix. @Radical

great job on taking action and making immediate improvements. keep at it
Thanks man. What were the types of clothes you think are better? I usually fit a large for shirts. As for pants it can be kind of odd trying to find ones that will fit since I have long legs. I'm 6ft 2 (1.88 meters). What kind of necklaces or accessories would be better? When I first chose the clothing I chose a bunch I like at Express Men's and some at Marshalls since it can get really expensive quickly elsewhere to get designer clothes.
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Fri Sep 03, 2021 2:58 am

Difference after getting pro photos seems good. I'm going to try using boosts with Tinder on Friday.
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Fri Sep 24, 2021 1:13 am

So far the matches either don't talk or they're a fake profile that asks you sign up for their onlyfans. Really frustrating and annoying as hell. I'm going to get back to doing cold aproaches. Tinder is an awful experience so far.
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Toast
Posts: 878 | Thanks: 1040
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 12:31 am
Name: Devin
Goal: Japanese Plate
Age: 29
Motto: The Time to Hesitate Has Ceased
Location: Tokyo
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Fri Sep 24, 2021 6:46 am

How many cold approaches have you done in that 7 months? If you are only doing 3 in a session and expecting results then your views on cold approach are majorly skewed
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Rags2Bitches
Posts: 189 | Thanks: 166
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2020 3:49 am
Name: Andrey
Goal: Build service biz
Age: 31
Location: TX
Contact:

Fri Sep 24, 2021 7:37 am

AmericanAndy wrote:
Fri Sep 24, 2021 1:13 am
So far the matches either don't talk or they're a fake profile that asks you sign up for their onlyfans. Really frustrating and annoying as hell. I'm going to get back to doing cold aproaches. Tinder is an awful experience so far.
Ok come on this is way too soon to think about giving up...you saw an improvement in matches from the actions you took earlier but it was just the first step.

You’ve done one (1) photoshoot. You haven’t changed your style. You have no photos with a different facial expression, any hobbies, or a single other animal or human.

Is your tinder the same one you have linked earlier in this thread?

If so, may I ask why you haven’t used the photos I took the time out of my non-depressing day to edit? And why you aren’t using only those 4 in the order I suggested so your clothes aren’t repeating which clearly indicates all your photos are from one photoshoot?

Also why is your age shown as 34?most girls on tinder in North America are 18-25...some older ppl on the app too, sure, but you’re much better off using bumble and hinge as your real age and changing your tinder to 25-27 and hiding the age (can put the real one in bio if you want as Andy’s tinder guide suggests).

I hope I’m wrong about the above or you aren’t taking yourself nearly as seriously as you need to be
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Dewm
Posts: 356 | Thanks: 136
Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2020 6:53 am
Name: Brady
Goal: Love Myself
Age: 34
Motto: Fuck Bitches Get Money
Location: New York, NY

Fri Sep 24, 2021 4:02 pm

Your first question of this entire thread beckons to a deeper issue that needs to be resolved. Depression is serious dude. Happiness is fleeting and at the end of the day no woman will solve how you're feeling deep down inside. As part of your journey to self improvement I recommend working on your mental health as well. Nobody is perfect we all try and all struggle. What really gives you long lasting joy (not fleeting happiness) in life? Is there something you're passionate about?
Goals
Love Myself
  • Finish my screenplay and make that movie.
  • Girlfriend
    • 3some... low priority
  • Produce a comedy show that makes me money
  • Lose weight and gain muscle
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 1999 | Thanks: 1655
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 10 Lays In 2022 (6/10)
Age: 30
Motto: No Excuses

Fri Sep 24, 2021 4:13 pm

Despair can drive you.

Let the pain engulf you and let it drive you like a thermonuclear reactor, we can work like fucking demons because many men have never visited hell and are soft cunts because of it.

Outwork them all, outlast them all, break down as many times as your body and mind need to, even if you break into a million pieces and there is nothing left, find a way to put yourself back together and run on fumes if needed. This is between you and God, everything else will fade into emptiness. You need to know in your heart you gave EVERYTHING.

What if the most fucked up guys here could become something?

That thought alone can drive you.

You are not alone brother, if there was anything I could do to help men who have known the dark side I would move heaven and earth.

Please listen to the advice given here, these guys know, please listen to them

mAC
GOALS 2021: ALL ACHIEVED
GOALS 2022:
(1) 0 to 10 Lifetime Lays (Current Status: 6/10)
(2) Beat AA
(3) Body Transformation: Ripped Abs & Elite Build

My Progress Log: Outworking God's Plan - My Relentless Journey

My Free FB Group (Wellness & Human Potential)
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Sat Sep 25, 2021 4:15 am

Rags2Bitches wrote:
Fri Sep 24, 2021 7:37 am
AmericanAndy wrote:
Fri Sep 24, 2021 1:13 am
So far the matches either don't talk or they're a fake profile that asks you sign up for their onlyfans. Really frustrating and annoying as hell. I'm going to get back to doing cold aproaches. Tinder is an awful experience so far.
Ok come on this is way too soon to think about giving up...you saw an improvement in matches from the actions you took earlier but it was just the first step.

You’ve done one (1) photoshoot. You haven’t changed your style. You have no photos with a different facial expression, any hobbies, or a single other animal or human.

Is your tinder the same one you have linked earlier in this thread?

If so, may I ask why you haven’t used the photos I took the time out of my non-depressing day to edit? And why you aren’t using only those 4 in the order I suggested so your clothes aren’t repeating which clearly indicates all your photos are from one photoshoot?

Also why is your age shown as 34?most girls on tinder in North America are 18-25...some older ppl on the app too, sure, but you’re much better off using bumble and hinge as your real age and changing your tinder to 25-27 and hiding the age (can put the real one in bio if you want as Andy’s tinder guide suggests).

I hope I’m wrong about the above or you aren’t taking yourself nearly as seriously as you need to be
I'm using the newer photos and boost (used boost many times). Also figured out a lot of the fake profiles put their snapchat username on their profile. The amount of time spent swiping and on a computer just isn't worth it both mentally and psychologically. Better to see real people instead of sit inside isolated from human interaction.
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Rags2Bitches
Posts: 189 | Thanks: 166
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2020 3:49 am
Name: Andrey
Goal: Build service biz
Age: 31
Location: TX
Contact:

Sun Sep 26, 2021 8:33 am

Ok we can’t argue over the basics. Idk if you’re just not noticing it or there’s some bigger comprehension issue...you’re using the newer pics but not my edits.

You can clearly see that the edits I sent you for all 4 pics have a slightly different facial expression, crop and color scheme than the photos you’re using.

That’s a minor point though. You see other guys on this forum have success with online dating. Why can’t it be you? What’s different about you that makes all these other guys go on dates and hook up with girls? Are you much uglier than ALL of them?? What do you think it is
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 1999 | Thanks: 1655
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 10 Lays In 2022 (6/10)
Age: 30
Motto: No Excuses

Sun Sep 26, 2021 9:46 am

@Rags2Bitches truly truly appreciate you helping all the guys with their OLD, it makes me fucking happy to see.

AmericanAndy, you need to listen to him.

MAC
GOALS 2021: ALL ACHIEVED
GOALS 2022:
(1) 0 to 10 Lifetime Lays (Current Status: 6/10)
(2) Beat AA
(3) Body Transformation: Ripped Abs & Elite Build

My Progress Log: Outworking God's Plan - My Relentless Journey

My Free FB Group (Wellness & Human Potential)
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Sun Sep 26, 2021 3:28 pm

Rags2Bitches wrote:
Sun Sep 26, 2021 8:33 am
Ok we can’t argue over the basics. Idk if you’re just not noticing it or there’s some bigger comprehension issue...you’re using the newer pics but not my edits.

You can clearly see that the edits I sent you for all 4 pics have a slightly different facial expression, crop and color scheme than the photos you’re using.

That’s a minor point though. You see other guys on this forum have success with online dating. Why can’t it be you? What’s different about you that makes all these other guys go on dates and hook up with girls? Are you much uglier than ALL of them?? What do you think it is
ok fixed it. I'm going to go over the tinder template see if I'm missing anything. Hmm in the past I've tried using tinder in countries outside of USA and could get a date everyday. I once went on a vacation to South America and had dates on the same day. But within USA I don't understand why it's so difficult.
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Thu Dec 02, 2021 10:24 pm

So for an update. I've had matches but they flake. Haven't seen anyone I'm attracted to when I use boost, they're mostly very overweight women. I think I could either look for women in cities much farther away or try to date in another country or big popular city for better odds.
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Fri May 06, 2022 8:02 pm

I figured out what was going on with tinder and it's something else. When I switched phone carriers and updated all the network settings, I was getting matches alot more often. I've noticed having undelivered messages before. So change your phone carrier to more modern high-speed service instead of the cheap providers. Thought this might help someone.
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Sun May 15, 2022 7:57 pm

Aiming to do cold approaches and working on an elite body now. I can't stand the amount of effort I put in with no reward on dating apps. They work better in another country but not here in the USA. The amount of time I spent swiping I could get better at talking to people with cold approaches. There's not enough incentive for me to be sitting around on a computer.

Went to cold approach at the library, mall, and gym. Were only two women at the library. At the mall approached about 3. Then at the night club around 5, I wasn't counting then. Didn't get anything. Just a boring night. To me it feels like a job doing this, wish there was a more fun way to do things. Most of the time just hear they have a boyfriend, they're married, or not interested.
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chocolate
Posts: 33 | Thanks: 15
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2021 4:05 am
Name: Daniel
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 29
Motto: Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Location: Montreal

Tue May 17, 2022 2:56 am

Hey man, as someone who has a crap Tinder profile and no success there and very demotivated about that, maybe I can share some perspective that keeps me going. I've been cold approaching since November 2020 and I've got laid once for context.

I'm pretty sure this is something Andy has said before, but sure maybe you'll have to work 10-100x harder than other guys. Maybe you'll have to grind for hours on the streets and 99.99% of girls will reject you for <insert reason you think is the problem>. What does that make a difference? It takes one girl to get laid. If you approach 1000 girls before getting laid, would it not be worth it? If you had to approach 1000 more to get laid again, wouldn't it be worth it? Your bio says your goal is to get a relationship, it seriously only takes only 1 girl for that.

Lets say it took you 15 lays to find the perfect girl, so 15 x 1000 = 15000 approaches to do it, wouldn't the perfect girl for the rest of your life make it all worth it?

Remember, if you count the number of girls in the AA program on GoodLookingLoser, that is well into 1000 I believe. That's all before you even start approaching with the intention of getting numbers/etc.

Maybe 1000 girls for a lay/completeing AA seems like a lot. It is. Its hard. As Andy says, its hell. I'm not going to sugar coat it, it fucking sucks and some days you're going to fucking hate yourself. You might think your an ugly piece of shit. Think your pathetic for walking around like a loser without friends. You'll be jealous of the guys who succeed on Tinder or whatever (hey I know I still am!). You'll hate yourself that the only girls you can approach are the ugly ones and you really want the hot ones. The weather will suck, you're feet will hurt, there will be no girls and you'll just want to go home. You'll feel desperate, you'll hate your parents for making you look like a loser who can't get matches on tinder, etc. You'll want to do more productive things like make money/work/jerk-off/playgames/etc and ask yourself wtf you are doing with your life. You won't be able to mumur the words "hey your cute" and it'll feel crippling, like the hardest thing you've ever done in your life. You'll get a lot of thoughts like this; or you might not. I'm just saying what happened to me.

But what do you get on the other end of it?

You get agency in your dating life. You get CHOICE.

Think about it, YOU have the choice to approach any girl YOU find attractive. YOU can make it happen, YOU can start it. YOU can CHOOSE to be judged on MORE than your pictures/looks/whatever by building that connection IN PERSON. YOU can choose to invite her on a date, choose to get her into your bed, and choose to make her your girlfriend. No girl has that power. Girls don't ever (realistically anyway) go up to guys and hit on them; if they find someone attractive they can't do anything besides sit there and HOPE he comes and talks to her. Nothing happens, no matter how the girl feels. But you get the power of the spark. Sorry for the retarded analogy but the girl is the gas, but you are the spark. Can't make fire without both. You just need to spark the right person at the right time.

Look I'm not a fucking pro here. I got laid once from cold approach and I've spent probably thousands of hours on this in one way or another. I completed AA program (1000 girls or whatever) and then approached another 1000 before getting laid. I started WAY below average in my mental game and stuff and I've had a ton of shit to work on to even get to where I'm at. I'm too cheap/poor to pay for coaching from Andy or use Tinder boosts. And I'm not even close to where I want to be. But getting laid once from cold approach made it all worth it. Trust me.

As a bonus, you wouldn't believe the number of girls that have told me that this never happens to them. I was on a date today with a girl that was like "yeah the last time I was approached in broad daylight was in 2013" and she's smoking hot (to me anyway). Girl I got laid with told me she's never been approached in broad daylight in my city (shes been here for years). I made an older married lady's day today, she told me as such anyway. One girl told me to keep going and keep it up, even if she wasn't interested. And look, I did all these approaches (maybe 5-10 today) while just going about my regular day doing normal stuff. YOU MIGHT BE SHIT AT TINDER, BUT YOU WILL BE EXCEPTIONAL TO THESE GIRLS IF YOU CAN DO THIS. BECAUSE YOU WILL BE EXCEPTIONAL.

And to be honest, you'll likely get an exceptional girl out of this too. Sexually/emotionally open minded, confident, etc. This might just be speculation though, I can't speak for the apps.

If makes you feel better, cold approach is tough and its just a numbers game a-la-max. I approached 50 girls in 4 hours this weekend as a challenge, I got 4 numbers out of it and 1 date of a girl that didn't want to kiss me/go home with me. RogerRoger did 124 girls in 10-ish hours and I think had similar, if not worse results than me (I don't remember specifically, I could be wrong, but I remember the podcast with Andy was something to that effect).

Remember dude, GLL said this best somewhere on his site, but people aren't having as much sex as you think they are. Maybe some very few sure, but most aren't. Most dudes get no matches on tinder and can't do anything about it. You can be better than them.

Lastly, I want to leave with just a bit more about what you get from cold approach besides just dating. I've become a better person overall in a lot of little ways. I have a sense of self confidence I never had before. Talking to girls or any stranger isn't that stressful anymore. I see the positives in life because I spent so much of it complimenting other people and making people happy. I don't get feelings of loneliness anymore since I can just strike up conversations with strangers at will. Speaking out at work isn't a problem anymore. My ability to communicate my thoughts clearly and without shame is a million times better since I've had to use my words to express my thoughts this whole time (hey your cute, hey are you single, hey I want your number, hey I want to kiss you/hold your hand/take you home).

I hope this is helpful, I poured my heart and soul into this one. I see you're still coming back to this site, so it proves you want this. Don't give up, it might take years, but its worth it.
Current Goals:
  • Have good sex (performance anxiety)
  • Cold approach 100 girls in 1 day
  • Night Game
  • Get laid in a turnkey fashion
  • Useful online dating profile
Other Goals:
  • Exceptional body in a shirt
  • Find a GF
  • Become stylish
  • Developer @ FAAMNG company

Completed:
  • Cold approach 50 girls in 1 day
  • One lay from cold approach
  • Own condo in prime location
  • Good looking body naked
  • Decent style
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