Cold Approach Log: Journey out of Despair

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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Wed May 18, 2022 2:03 am

chocolate wrote:
Tue May 17, 2022 2:56 am
Hey man, as someone who has a crap Tinder profile and no success there and very demotivated about that, maybe I can share some perspective that keeps me going. I've been cold approaching since November 2020 and I've got laid once for context.

I'm pretty sure this is something Andy has said before, but sure maybe you'll have to work 10-100x harder than other guys. Maybe you'll have to grind for hours on the streets and 99.99% of girls will reject you for <insert reason you think is the problem>. What does that make a difference? It takes one girl to get laid. If you approach 1000 girls before getting laid, would it not be worth it? If you had to approach 1000 more to get laid again, wouldn't it be worth it? Your bio says your goal is to get a relationship, it seriously only takes only 1 girl for that.

Lets say it took you 15 lays to find the perfect girl, so 15 x 1000 = 15000 approaches to do it, wouldn't the perfect girl for the rest of your life make it all worth it?

Remember, if you count the number of girls in the AA program on GoodLookingLoser, that is well into 1000 I believe. That's all before you even start approaching with the intention of getting numbers/etc.

Maybe 1000 girls for a lay/completeing AA seems like a lot. It is. Its hard. As Andy says, its hell. I'm not going to sugar coat it, it fucking sucks and some days you're going to fucking hate yourself. You might think your an ugly piece of shit. Think your pathetic for walking around like a loser without friends. You'll be jealous of the guys who succeed on Tinder or whatever (hey I know I still am!). You'll hate yourself that the only girls you can approach are the ugly ones and you really want the hot ones. The weather will suck, you're feet will hurt, there will be no girls and you'll just want to go home. You'll feel desperate, you'll hate your parents for making you look like a loser who can't get matches on tinder, etc. You'll want to do more productive things like make money/work/jerk-off/playgames/etc and ask yourself wtf you are doing with your life. You won't be able to mumur the words "hey your cute" and it'll feel crippling, like the hardest thing you've ever done in your life. You'll get a lot of thoughts like this; or you might not. I'm just saying what happened to me.

But what do you get on the other end of it?

You get agency in your dating life. You get CHOICE.

Think about it, YOU have the choice to approach any girl YOU find attractive. YOU can make it happen, YOU can start it. YOU can CHOOSE to be judged on MORE than your pictures/looks/whatever by building that connection IN PERSON. YOU can choose to invite her on a date, choose to get her into your bed, and choose to make her your girlfriend. No girl has that power. Girls don't ever (realistically anyway) go up to guys and hit on them; if they find someone attractive they can't do anything besides sit there and HOPE he comes and talks to her. Nothing happens, no matter how the girl feels. But you get the power of the spark. Sorry for the retarded analogy but the girl is the gas, but you are the spark. Can't make fire without both. You just need to spark the right person at the right time.

Look I'm not a fucking pro here. I got laid once from cold approach and I've spent probably thousands of hours on this in one way or another. I completed AA program (1000 girls or whatever) and then approached another 1000 before getting laid. I started WAY below average in my mental game and stuff and I've had a ton of shit to work on to even get to where I'm at. I'm too cheap/poor to pay for coaching from Andy or use Tinder boosts. And I'm not even close to where I want to be. But getting laid once from cold approach made it all worth it. Trust me.

As a bonus, you wouldn't believe the number of girls that have told me that this never happens to them. I was on a date today with a girl that was like "yeah the last time I was approached in broad daylight was in 2013" and she's smoking hot (to me anyway). Girl I got laid with told me she's never been approached in broad daylight in my city (shes been here for years). I made an older married lady's day today, she told me as such anyway. One girl told me to keep going and keep it up, even if she wasn't interested. And look, I did all these approaches (maybe 5-10 today) while just going about my regular day doing normal stuff. YOU MIGHT BE SHIT AT TINDER, BUT YOU WILL BE EXCEPTIONAL TO THESE GIRLS IF YOU CAN DO THIS. BECAUSE YOU WILL BE EXCEPTIONAL.

And to be honest, you'll likely get an exceptional girl out of this too. Sexually/emotionally open minded, confident, etc. This might just be speculation though, I can't speak for the apps.

If makes you feel better, cold approach is tough and its just a numbers game a-la-max. I approached 50 girls in 4 hours this weekend as a challenge, I got 4 numbers out of it and 1 date of a girl that didn't want to kiss me/go home with me. RogerRoger did 124 girls in 10-ish hours and I think had similar, if not worse results than me (I don't remember specifically, I could be wrong, but I remember the podcast with Andy was something to that effect).

Remember dude, GLL said this best somewhere on his site, but people aren't having as much sex as you think they are. Maybe some very few sure, but most aren't. Most dudes get no matches on tinder and can't do anything about it. You can be better than them.

Lastly, I want to leave with just a bit more about what you get from cold approach besides just dating. I've become a better person overall in a lot of little ways. I have a sense of self confidence I never had before. Talking to girls or any stranger isn't that stressful anymore. I see the positives in life because I spent so much of it complimenting other people and making people happy. I don't get feelings of loneliness anymore since I can just strike up conversations with strangers at will. Speaking out at work isn't a problem anymore. My ability to communicate my thoughts clearly and without shame is a million times better since I've had to use my words to express my thoughts this whole time (hey your cute, hey are you single, hey I want your number, hey I want to kiss you/hold your hand/take you home).

I hope this is helpful, I poured my heart and soul into this one. I see you're still coming back to this site, so it proves you want this. Don't give up, it might take years, but its worth it.
GLL had a video sort of about "You care more than the average person." Most people don't think or care as much as we do in getting those results.

I agree it doesn't feel as stressful anymore. A lot less anxiety.

In cold approaching you at least get a guarantee of being able to talk to someone real. Online you don't know who it is. Many online matches have been scammers, cam-ers, onlyfans ads, snapchat ads, and a few tried to blackmail me for sexting. After a year's worth of swiping I only got one date on bumble and one date through fetlife. I used hinge, tinder, bumble, fetlife. When I tried tinder in South America I could get a date every night. Depending where you are in the world online-apps may or may not help you.

It's so much better for your own mental health to just approach women or even talk to random strangers and maybe even make a friend. I was walking around town and several strangers at the bar would walk up and fistbump or compliment on my cologne. Many times the women will say thanks for calling them cute. It's just a probability game and I've been going through a dry season. When I was in Arizona a few years ago I took home women from the club several times. I need to simply keep going and get used to a new routine.
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SpicyBoi
Posts: 494 | Thanks: 5
Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2022 3:25 am
Goal: Get Laid and Retention
Age: 26
Motto: Killing my inner loser since 03/08/2021

Wed May 18, 2022 9:27 pm

@AmericanAndy Keep going with cold approach. Whilst I'm using Tinder as well, I do agree that cold approach feels more human and I also definitely prefer it.

When you cold approach, have you got a plan in mind or are you just spamming whichever girl you see? Are you trying to get physical.. kiss them etc or just talking?
YEAR ONE Goals (Aug 2021-Aug 2022):

• Hit on minimum one new girl everyday.

• Sleep with 30 attractive women (74/30 so far). ✅

• Sleep with a Hot Local from each country I travel to (9/11 successes ✅ - Panama and Paraguay ❌)

• Write 100 Articles for my Travel Blog (117/100 so far). ✅

• Complete my Latin America Travel Bucket List (🇲🇽 🇵🇪 🇨🇷 🇵🇦 🇨🇴 🇪🇨 🇧🇷 🇵🇾 🇦🇷 🇨🇱 done so far, just 🇧🇴 left to go)
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Thu May 19, 2022 10:46 pm

SpicyBoi wrote:
Wed May 18, 2022 9:27 pm
@AmericanAndy Keep going with cold approach. Whilst I'm using Tinder as well, I do agree that cold approach feels more human and I also definitely prefer it.

When you cold approach, have you got a plan in mind or are you just spamming whichever girl you see? Are you trying to get physical.. kiss them etc or just talking?
I approach any woman I'm attracted to. I use the Good Looking Loser screening guide here.
https://www.goodlookingloser.com/laid/s ... g-dialogue
https://www.goodlookingloser.com/laid/screening


After I find out they are free or available I try to get physical to see if they are interested. If you don't get physical they may think of you as just trying to be a friend.
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Sun May 22, 2022 6:30 pm

Went out to the mall then later to the night club. Around 5 at the mall and maybe 10 at the night club. I didn't really count just a rough memory. Did not feel fun doing these. Just got on my nerves hearing the same responses from different women. I'm not sure how to make it more fun I'll try to find a friend on bumble to go with me next time. Overall just feel exhausted and mad at not seeing any kind of result.

Back to grinding at the gym for the week.
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Sun May 29, 2022 4:58 am

Had a tinder date. We talked for about 20 minutes then tried to kiss and failed.
Then she made some excuse about her drunk friend needing help then she left. I tried approaching a group a girls and asked if they are single also nothing. Just in a shit mood now.
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Sun Jun 05, 2022 6:14 am

Went to the mall and approached around 5 women. Later went to the night club and approached maybe 6 women. Nothing came out of it. Have a tinder date for Sunday. Long term I’m going to plan on selling everything and going to another country. Most American women are low quality compared to what I’ve experienced overseas.
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Wed Jun 08, 2022 2:46 am

Had an amazing time with the tinder date. Had sex all night into the morning. More good times ahead.
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Tue Jun 21, 2022 6:02 pm

I ended up going with her on a trip to California. I thought we were going to start a relationship but I guess not. She suddenly put me in the friend zone even though we hooked up. Something about her ex husband abusing her and her not liking intimacy. She was more interested in me doing photo shoots for her. Originally she enticed me by saying she could hook me up with some women to do porn. Overall I couldn't be around her personality it was too much for me because she would criticize or micromanage everything I did. On the plus side I did make a new friend in California when I was leaving.

Time to look for someone new, no big deal. That one trip really pushed me out of a lot of comfort to try new things.
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