[Noobie] Terrible stats at cold approach

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september
Posts: 348 | Thanks: 209
Joined: Tue Aug 10, 2021 8:21 pm
Name: Loki
Goal: master game
Age: 25
Motto: wagmi
Location: Toronto

Tue Jan 31, 2023 4:29 am

will_00 wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 3:38 am
Me: Hey! (wait for eye contact) you're cute/attractive
Her: T-thanks!
Me: What's your name?
Her: Emily
Me: Will, nice to meet you (handshake)
Improvise for around 1 minute or when ran out of things to say and then ask for phone #
heres some improvements taught to me by Troy, colgate's dating coach roommate with >200 daygame lays

- approach from the side and slightly in front, come close to her, and tap her on the elbow or shoulder twice with the back of your hand, like you're getting a friend's attention. dont be autistic about this, obviously if you're approaching from the front anyway, or if she notices you before you come closer, then just move on to saying hey
- say hey and then nothing else. wait for her to say hey back. THEN tell her she's cute etc. this actually makes your frame feel way stronger, you'll see it as soon as you try it
- create a basic filler script that runs for 1-3 minutes and STICK TO IT and focus instead purely on improving your BODY LANGUAGE and TONALITY. Because the words are WAY less important than the script and there's very improvement to be made in speech anyway in daygame - even with optimal game 80% of girls you fuck will be Yes girls who you would've done just fine with, with a boring ass small talk script
- on that note, acting normal is FAR FAR FAR MORE IMPORTANT than running game. you run game ON TOP of acting normal, and NEVER sacrifice acting normal for running more game. ALWAYS try to make it as much of a "normal" conversation and approach as possible, like you're a confident guy who's never heard about any of this game stuff or negging and you just have a chill conversation for a few minutes before grabbing the number and that's it
- I really, really need to emphasize the acting normal part. Really it's more than acting normal, it's being normal. Dress normal, have normal social skills, normal speech, etc.
- acting normal also means like... if there's something weird in the air between you two... like maybe you approached her in a weird way... maybe it's a weird situation (dark at night in an alley)... maybe the conversation just really isn't hitting... CALL IT OUT!!! you're showing you're normal by noticing it and relieving the tension and making it a common thing that yeah haha that was awkward so anyway where are you from etc
- focusing on acting more normal and cutting down on game has given me way better results than any other improvements to game I've made
- how to practice acting normal: socialize as much as possible. and try to have strict standards for what's weird, because usually other people think something is weirder than you do

sample script given to me by Troy btw

hey what's up
-
you're super cute
-
what are you up to
-
you a student or do you work
-
did you grow up here
-
(personal addon because I like to negotiate the date in person)
cool what are you doing this week. ok I'll take you out for drinks. are you free tomorrow. alright lets meet at X by Y. awesome
(again just to emphasize this is a personal thing. and IMO you need to be minimally pushy here, like if she's saying she's busy or giving an objection and not working with you to go around it just leave it for the texting phase)
-
(regardless of anything, after getting the number)
random small talk for like a sentence or two so you don't look like a number bandit

---

the words dont matter that much and provided the convo isn't super super weird for the 1-3 minutes that you talk, you aren't going to be losing any meaningful amount of lays by having a """"suboptimal"""" conversation. the above script is just a sample but feel free to come up with something that feels more natural to you if its easier to repeat so that you can focus on body language and tone etc
0/10000 lays, 582.94 underage approaches, 8 seconds nofap, 929 day streak complaining + no action
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User avatar
september
Posts: 348 | Thanks: 209
Joined: Tue Aug 10, 2021 8:21 pm
Name: Loki
Goal: master game
Age: 25
Motto: wagmi
Location: Toronto

Tue Jan 31, 2023 4:44 am

Sonofagun wrote:
Sun Jan 29, 2023 10:11 pm
The problem is most guys doing cold approach during the day start the conversation, ask the girl a series of mundane questions, and then try and get the number within a couple of minutes, having built practically zero attraction or comfort. They're often too nice, too chit-chatty. She may well give the number out, but she doesn't give a fuck about them and probably won't text back. They didn't hit any of her buttons or stimulate her emotionally in any way.
The overwhelming majority of attraction comes from being good looking and well styled, and to a lesser extent having attractive body language and tonality
The overwhelming majority of comfort comes from acting and talking like a normal person

This isn't to say game is useless. I love it and am fascinated by it and it always offers improvements. But from everything I've experienced and heard of so far, it's a very heavy investment that only pays off when you're very very good at it, and even at that point the large majority of your lays still come from Yes girls who require almost no effort

Almost everyone has a higher ROI from being more physically attractive, more normal, and fixing insecurities than from studying game. Aside from very minimal low hanging fruit like a basic roadmap of escalation, or basic awareness of what women are turned off by (neediness, lack of leadership, etc)

Again... game completely matters, and low hanging fruit is very important to identify and fix, but for the large majority of people, improving the "basics" (looks, normal social skills, generic self improvement) is a better payoff for the time and effort
0/10000 lays, 582.94 underage approaches, 8 seconds nofap, 929 day streak complaining + no action
schizoposting log
schizo voice notes telegram channel
best value photoshoot in north america
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twonightstander
Posts: 87 | Thanks: 76
Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2022 12:53 pm
Goal: Become "that guy"
Age: 31
Motto: The only easy day was yesterday

Tue Jan 31, 2023 7:12 am

This post clearly hits home so I will try to give you some pointers. This is in addition to the good feedback that fellas above have said. I will ask you some questions and make some comments:
  • Do you follow any model/strategy when it comes to game and cold approach? Most of us are not born as naturally charismatic and charming dudes so you will need a model to learn and emulate until you become a better "seducer" (the model becomes part of you). As far as models I'm referring to things such as the london daygame model, RSD type game, full on technical game, etc. Without a model, you will be spinning the wheels and trying to solve a problem that other guys have solved already. And it sounds like you are running some sort of basic guy game and that simply doesn't cut it in 2023, regardless of your looks.
  • Despite of having a model, stats will be terrible first and you will have a learning curve. Atm, I'm at ~600 approaches, got like 80ish numbers and only 3 lays and the stats range in a wide spectrum at the beginning. Getting rid of AA is the first piece of the puzzle but learning game is the real beast that will take a lot more time.
  • Also, it's not only what you do during the cold approach but everything else after leading up to sex that matters. Every single step in the seduction ladder matters and every step is a chance for you to fuck up. There will be lots of pain but once again, having a model will help you learn and identify where are you failing within the process.
  • This means that you will have to learn cold approach, text game, know how to properly run dates, sex and many more things so you minimize the chances of fucking up during the entire process. But this will take time and a lot of mistakes.
  • As far as stats are concerned, elite daygamers will usually have a 25:1 ratio of closing while at nightgame elite nightgamers are able to close at like 3-5:1. But nightgame is an entirely different and more difficult beast.
  • When you go out, what is your game plan? Are you going out to collect numbers or to fuck girls? This might be an unpopular opinion but I suggest that you try to push each interaction as much as possible. If the girl is logistically available, why not go for an instant date? If she still has time, why not try to pull? Are you going out to become a number collector or to get laid? Unless you are able to run a textbook good interaction in ~5-10 minutes before number closing, I suggest trying to spend as much time as possible with the particular girl and push as many steps in the seduction ladder as possible.
  • Why are you doing daygame? Is it to get laid only? I say this because at first cold approach will be very unrewarding so I strongly suggest supplementing it with online dating so you can have more options and be less needy in set.
  • I also recommend recording your sets once you have a model that you start learning. Listening to ones sets will be very cringey but also extremely revealing and it will show you a lot of the mistakes that you are making. Only the ones daring to look at the truth witll be able to see it.
A lot of us are in this same journey so keep pushing man. There is no other way. With online dating alone you will never be able to max out your sex life so keep that in mind while learning cold approach.
Goals completed (2022)
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Sonofagun
Posts: 39 | Thanks: 13
Joined: Wed Aug 17, 2022 2:11 pm
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Age: 28

Tue Jan 31, 2023 9:33 am

september wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 4:44 am
Sonofagun wrote:
Sun Jan 29, 2023 10:11 pm
The problem is most guys doing cold approach during the day start the conversation, ask the girl a series of mundane questions, and then try and get the number within a couple of minutes, having built practically zero attraction or comfort. They're often too nice, too chit-chatty. She may well give the number out, but she doesn't give a fuck about them and probably won't text back. They didn't hit any of her buttons or stimulate her emotionally in any way.
The overwhelming majority of attraction comes from being good looking and well styled, and to a lesser extent having attractive body language and tonality
The overwhelming majority of comfort comes from acting and talking like a normal person

This isn't to say game is useless. I love it and am fascinated by it and it always offers improvements. But from everything I've experienced and heard of so far, it's a very heavy investment that only pays off when you're very very good at it, and even at that point the large majority of your lays still come from Yes girls who require almost no effort

Almost everyone has a higher ROI from being more physically attractive, more normal, and fixing insecurities than from studying game. Aside from very minimal low hanging fruit like a basic roadmap of escalation, or basic awareness of what women are turned off by (neediness, lack of leadership, etc)

Again... game completely matters, and low hanging fruit is very important to identify and fix, but for the large majority of people, improving the "basics" (looks, normal social skills, generic self improvement) is a better payoff for the time and effort
This is a bit of a red herring.

It goes without saying a guy should looksmax as much as possible before starting daygame - no arguments from me there, but it does actually matter what you say, and how you say it. The OP is a good example of this as he looks above average in terms of aesthetic (though I'm not sure about fashion) and is still struggling.

As I said in an earlier post, there are simply better ways of doing things.

Chit chatting with a girl for a minute then getting a number usually = flake.

Male 8s can get away with chitchat. The average guy (5-7) usually can't.

Have to make her feel something
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Crisis_Overcomer
Posts: 1017 | Thanks: 720
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Age: 33
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Tue Jan 31, 2023 11:28 am

will_00 wrote:
Sat Jan 28, 2023 11:13 pm
Moved to the states about 2 years ago from Peru (South America) and I live in Fort Myers FL now. Getting laid was not a problem back home, was pretty successful without trying and in worst shape.
That's a big issue right here. You moved from one environment to the other and kept expectations the same. HUGE MISTAKE. Peru is probably easier than America so this will affect conversions.

You got great advice from the guys here. The next needle mover is actually applying the advice.

Create a log, keep notes, and "enjoy" your trial by fire.

I'm locking this but the only reason I do so is to motivate you into some action.
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Manganiello
Posts: 1710 | Thanks: 2021
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Tue Jan 31, 2023 2:34 pm

september wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 4:29 am
will_00 wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 3:38 am
Me: Hey! (wait for eye contact) you're cute/attractive
Her: T-thanks!
Me: What's your name?
Her: Emily
Me: Will, nice to meet you (handshake)
Improvise for around 1 minute or when ran out of things to say and then ask for phone #
heres some improvements taught to me by Troy, colgate's dating coach roommate with >200 daygame lays

- approach from the side and slightly in front, come close to her, and tap her on the elbow or shoulder twice with the back of your hand, like you're getting a friend's attention. dont be autistic about this, obviously if you're approaching from the front anyway, or if she notices you before you come closer, then just move on to saying hey
- say hey and then nothing else. wait for her to say hey back. THEN tell her she's cute etc. this actually makes your frame feel way stronger, you'll see it as soon as you try it
- create a basic filler script that runs for 1-3 minutes and STICK TO IT and focus instead purely on improving your BODY LANGUAGE and TONALITY. Because the words are WAY less important than the script and there's very improvement to be made in speech anyway in daygame - even with optimal game 80% of girls you fuck will be Yes girls who you would've done just fine with, with a boring ass small talk script
- on that note, acting normal is FAR FAR FAR MORE IMPORTANT than running game. you run game ON TOP of acting normal, and NEVER sacrifice acting normal for running more game. ALWAYS try to make it as much of a "normal" conversation and approach as possible, like you're a confident guy who's never heard about any of this game stuff or negging and you just have a chill conversation for a few minutes before grabbing the number and that's it
- I really, really need to emphasize the acting normal part. Really it's more than acting normal, it's being normal. Dress normal, have normal social skills, normal speech, etc.
- acting normal also means like... if there's something weird in the air between you two... like maybe you approached her in a weird way... maybe it's a weird situation (dark at night in an alley)... maybe the conversation just really isn't hitting... CALL IT OUT!!! you're showing you're normal by noticing it and relieving the tension and making it a common thing that yeah haha that was awkward so anyway where are you from etc
- focusing on acting more normal and cutting down on game has given me way better results than any other improvements to game I've made
- how to practice acting normal: socialize as much as possible. and try to have strict standards for what's weird, because usually other people think something is weirder than you do

sample script given to me by Troy btw

hey what's up
-
you're super cute
-
what are you up to
-
you a student or do you work
-
did you grow up here
-
(personal addon because I like to negotiate the date in person)
cool what are you doing this week. ok I'll take you out for drinks. are you free tomorrow. alright lets meet at X by Y. awesome
(again just to emphasize this is a personal thing. and IMO you need to be minimally pushy here, like if she's saying she's busy or giving an objection and not working with you to go around it just leave it for the texting phase)
-
(regardless of anything, after getting the number)
random small talk for like a sentence or two so you don't look like a number bandit

---

the words dont matter that much and provided the convo isn't super super weird for the 1-3 minutes that you talk, you aren't going to be losing any meaningful amount of lays by having a """"suboptimal"""" conversation. the above script is just a sample but feel free to come up with something that feels more natural to you if its easier to repeat so that you can focus on body language and tone etc

This post should have 1000 thanks.
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