Day 9 - AA Program

[colgate]

Is your true priority to get laid (by any means necessary) or to get over approach anxiety? I don't think you need to ask the forums what your priority is, think about it yourself.

In your case, you're a good looking dude, if you care more about getting laid, I have no doubts you'd get laid relatively quickly after following Andy's Tinder guide. I see no reason to put that off.

If you care more about getting over approach anxiety and doing cold approach specifically, rather than just getting laid, then yeah, definitely continue the AA program and/or jump in with approaching. But you should definitely get out of this non-action limbo you seem to be in, and pick a choice based on your true priority.

[D4vidDG]

I haven’t even been going outside to at least TRY to do the drills…
Should I stop for now and make Andy’s Tinder Guide my top priority instead? At least then I would get laid during the process.

I'll tell you my story if that helps you think more clearly. This is not my personal advice. You need to think about your ultimate goal and how bad you want it to start organizing your priorities.

I felt so bad for not approaching girls that I started looking out a reason why I was unable to do it, why I was so scared. Some internet research brought me to the AA program. I started doing it just to not feel like I was doing nothing about my romantic life. But being honest, I wasn't fully committed to it. I was afraid of leaving behind other things that were important to me for the sake of chasing girls and fixing my relationship with girls.

That lack of seriousness resulted in not completing the program beyond the first week. And twice.

Another reason why I didn't complete it was that I was being really hard on myself for not completing the drills. I would feel like shit for not completing a drill and posting in the forums that I did nothing. Those feelings ended up paralyzing me from doing anything. It was obvious, everyone wants to avoid suffering.

I also felt I was wasting my time doing these drills when I could be approaching them directly.

I started a third time, and this time I was really committed to finishing it. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), I traveled to Miami and I stayed there for a month. The number of girls I could see daily wasn't enough to complete the demands of the drills.

That's why I decided to start approaching right away. I knew I couldn't wait and do nothing, that would have just increased the AA. Approaching one girl a day in Miami would make the program easier when I came back to my country. So that's what I did, I approached 1 girl every day. Then I approached more progressively.

And in the end, I realized my AA wasn't bad enough to stop me from approaching. I could absolutely force myself to do it.

I thought about my goals. What do I want? I want to have abundance, get laid, and fix this part of my life so I can focus on other things. Based on that goal, I decided that approaching will yield better results faster than doing the AA program.

I don't feel proud about leaving things incomplete and not keeping my words. I'm not saying you should do that. That still haunts me these days.

But honestly, I feel I made the right decision. I feel good about the path I'm following.

I hope this helps. My best wishes man

[Crimson]

Is your true priority to get laid (by any means necessary) or to get over approach anxiety? I don't think you need to ask the forums what your priority is, think about it yourself.

In your case, you're a good looking dude, if you care more about getting laid, I have no doubts you'd get laid relatively quickly after following Andy's Tinder guide. I see no reason to put that off.

If you care more about getting over approach anxiety and doing cold approach specifically, rather than just getting laid, then yeah, definitely continue the AA program and/or jump in with approaching. But you should definitely get out of this non-action limbo you seem to be in, and pick a choice based on your true priority.

I definitely care more about getting laid than finishing the AA Program. It is what it is, I’ll just do what I want from now on. Appreciate your input @colgate.

[Crimson]

I haven’t even been going outside to at least TRY to do the drills…
Should I stop for now and make Andy’s Tinder Guide my top priority instead? At least then I would get laid during the process.

I'll tell you my story if that helps you think more clearly. This is not my personal advice. You need to think about your ultimate goal and how bad you want it to start organizing your priorities.

I felt so bad for not approaching girls that I started looking out a reason why I was unable to do it, why I was so scared. Some internet research brought me to the AA program. I started doing it just to not feel like I was doing nothing about my romantic life. But being honest, I wasn't fully committed to it. I was afraid of leaving behind other things that were important to me for the sake of chasing girls and fixing my relationship with girls.

That lack of seriousness resulted in not completing the program beyond the first week. And twice.

Another reason why I didn't complete it was that I was being really hard on myself for not completing the drills. I would feel like shit for not completing a drill and posting in the forums that I did nothing. Those feelings ended up paralyzing me from doing anything. It was obvious, everyone wants to avoid suffering.

I also felt I was wasting my time doing these drills when I could be approaching them directly.

I started a third time, and this time I was really committed to finishing it. Unfortunately (or fortunately?), I traveled to Miami and I stayed there for a month. The number of girls I could see daily wasn't enough to complete the demands of the drills.

That's why I decided to start approaching right away. I knew I couldn't wait and do nothing, that would have just increased the AA. Approaching one girl a day in Miami would make the program easier when I came back to my country. So that's what I did, I approached 1 girl every day. Then I approached more progressively.

And in the end, I realized my AA wasn't bad enough to stop me from approaching. I could absolutely force myself to do it.

I thought about my goals. What do I want? I want to have abundance, get laid, and fix this part of my life so I can focus on other things. Based on that goal, I decided that approaching will yield better results faster than doing the AA program.

I don't feel proud about leaving things incomplete and not keeping my words. I'm not saying you should do that. That still haunts me these days.

But honestly, I feel I made the right decision. I feel good about the path I'm following.

I hope this helps. My best wishes man

@D4vidDG I appreciate you typing your story out like that. Yeah, what you went through is pretty much me during the AA Program haha. My AA is also not so bad that I can’t approach any girls at all. I really just want to get laid for now. Thanks for your comment.

[Crimson]

Day 8f - AA Program
-Time, Leave (talk to very first girl you see; DONT let her slip by)
-Time, Directions, Leave
-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Leave
-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Do you like it?, Leave

Asked a cute girl (-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Do you like it?). She said she wasn’t from my city and has never been to the restaurant I asked for but I still asked if she liked it etc.

Asked the first girl I saw for time she was with her boyfriend

Asked another girl (-Time, Directions, Have you been there?)

I walked past a guy and his friends today and he said „Look at that guy he looks gay“. I ignored him but it got me thinking wether I would even care about that after I finish the program.

Guess I gotta complete it to find out.

1 and a half sets to go for day 8 redo.

[Crimson]

Got tested positive for Covid-19:

Just got tested positive for Covid so I won’t be able to do the drills for at least 7 days. I’ll come back stronger.

Crimson

[Crimson]

Day 8g - AA Program

-Time, Leave (talk to very first girl you see; DONT let her slip by)
-Time, Directions, Leave
-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Leave
-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Do you like it?, Leave

I‘m back! 7 days have passed and I’m allowed back outside again. I’m well and healthy now my only symptoms were the flu.

Asked one middle aged woman (Time, Directions, Have you been there?).

One rep and then one set left to go for the day 8 redo completion!

When I was outside I felt like everybody was looking at me like I’m weird or creepy. Maybe it’s because I’ve been quarantined for 7 days. I feel quite inferior to everyone else.

See y’all tomorrow.

Crimson

[Crimson]

Day 8h - AA Program
Asked two hot girls for the time today.
So no progress regarding the Program per se, but still exposure therapy.

I’m also proud of myself for asking them considering I haven’t done any drills (avoiding doing them) for like two weeks.

Crimson

[Noself]

Great to see that you’re back!

[Crimson]

Great to see that you’re back!

Thanks bro, I see that you’re almost done! You got this! It’s very motivating to see you finish the Program, it shows me that it’s possible.

[Crimson]

Day 8i - AA Program
-Time, Leave (talk to very first girl you see; DONT let her slip by)
-Time, Directions, Leave
-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Leave
-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Do you like it?, Leave

Walked around for about an hour asking girls for time, I was even able to ask two women for time and directions.

I couldn’t muster up the courage to ask a girl (-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Do you like it?) though, which is the rep that I was actually supposed to do to.

It’s all good though, all of it is exposure therapy.

Crimson

[Noself]

Thanks bro, I see that you’re almost done! You got this! It’s very motivating to see you finish the Program, it shows me that it’s possible.

We have a group chat with me, @isomar1998 ,@ninjaboynaru ,@iceneon, come join us bro.

[ninjaboynaru]

@Crimson Welcome back man.
I'm only a few days ahead of you. Wasn't to long ago I was on D8.

Send one of us your number and we'll add you to the WhatsApp group

[Crimson]

Thanks bro, I see that you’re almost done! You got this! It’s very motivating to see you finish the Program, it shows me that it’s possible.

We have a group chat with me, @isomar1998 ,@ninjaboynaru ,@iceneon, come join us bro.

Alright, will do.

[Crimson]

Day 8j - AA Program
-Time, Leave (talk to very first girl you see; DONT let her slip by)
-Time, Directions, Leave
-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Leave
-Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Do you like it?, Leave

Was able to ask a woman (Time, Directions, Have you been there?) ! Another baby step in the right direction! Yesterday I was only able to ask for time an directions.

Asked another woman for the time as well. She was quite nice to me.

Tomorrow I will attempt to do the last rep (Time, Directions, Have you been there?, Do you like it?).
Being able to see yourself slightly improve everyday is very very motivating.

Crimson