Kressh's AA Log Thread

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Kressh
Posts: 4 | Thanks: 2
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2022 4:25 pm
Goal: Lose virginity
Age: 26
Motto: Don't wish it was easy, wish you were better.
Location: Utah, USA

Thu Mar 24, 2022 11:01 am

Hello everyone

Recent experience has compelled me to commit to the approach anxiety program. I will post a mixture of audio and written logs. My immediate goal is to turn approaching into something enjoyable and not so goddamn terrifying. I'm here to put in the reps and stay with the program. If you would like to do this same, please feel free to DM me.

Intro audio log:
https://u.pcloud.link/publink/show?code ... Gl2S1gGaxk

- Kressh
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Kressh
Posts: 4 | Thanks: 2
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2022 4:25 pm
Goal: Lose virginity
Age: 26
Motto: Don't wish it was easy, wish you were better.
Location: Utah, USA

Thu Mar 24, 2022 5:02 pm

Day 4

I did this one in about an hour, super easy. The first two were right outside my dorm waiting for the bus. The rest were on my way to or at the gym. I like to lift on Tuesdays, box on Thursdays, and longform cardio on Saturdays; so I figure there is no excuse to increase that and try to get outside every day. Like I said before, not starting from complete scratch so I decided to advance with one of the approaches. She is quite average and I felt comfortable carrying a conversation with her because we live in the same dorm. I got her number while on the bus. It makes me wonder what she thought about my phone not being dead after I told her it was needed the time, but that's probably just me overthinking shit again.

All I can think about is how I need to get even more numbers so I don't feel so invested in this one chance. I need to give myself permission to fuck up. Because I'm so new, I think it's wise to limit texting the logistics and see if we can get together this weekend. I still feel I have a mountain to climb as far as reversing some of the abuse I experienced in the Mormon church. I want to be sexual with women and also feel like I'm a very sexual person; but something within me still feels compelled to suppress my desires even though my worldview has fully accepted them.

I can tell this is something I will have to take a day at a time; just act, continue my mission, and worry about the dates on that day.

-Kressh
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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Fri Mar 25, 2022 10:00 am

Hey man

Good to see you taking proactive steps to build the life you want.

I don't know if it helps, but I know what it is like to lose your faith and leave a religion. I went through that myself about ten years ago and understand how isolating that can be. Especially if your family is on the more zealous end of the religious spectrum.
The whole sexual-repression-thing has left some marks on my psyche as well. It took me quite a while of soulsearching to finally being comfortable to say out loud (literally) that I want to have kinky, wild and passionate sex with different, uninhibited, hot women. Still feels weird sometimes but it's getting easier.

Also, great that you used your social momentum and did more than just what the drill asked you to do.

I'm only on day 11 (my log is coming shortly), but I realized that the most important thing is to try not to think ahead (be it about the next approach or the next drill. or some scary drill down the line you heard others talk about).
You already realized that you have to take it one day at a time and I hope you remember that when things get harder.

Looking forward to your log for day 5.

Mo

BTW: I'm looking for an accountability partner. If you're interested, send me a DM.
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