Goals for 2023 - NightRoller's Semiregular Update Log

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Pluto
Posts: 315 | Thanks: 45
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2022 12:08 am
Goal: Lose fat
Age: 29
Motto: Push It Past The Limit

Fri Aug 26, 2022 3:31 am

I have worked as a bartender in a college town before so I can give some pointers for you.

If you are a guy, you will most certainly always start out as a barback before they move you up to bartender. Girls get a pass and can often get the bartending job right off the bat. To a degree it also matters about the nature of the bar but back when I was in college, each fraternity had alumni that owned a certain bar and if they hired any guys, it was usually guys from that given frat. Instead of walking in and talking to the bartenders during a busy shift, try going at a less busy time when the manager is likely to be around. You want to talk to the manager directly and make your case.

Some guys can BS a bar manager and get the gig right off the bat but this is more common in bigger cities where it is tougher to background check you. In a college town, all the bar owners know each other so its tougher to pull off. Your best bet would be to tell them you want to be a bartender and ask what it would take to get there. It is actually a lot to learn and working a busy night shift is no joke. You have to be able to make those drinks fast, keep track of orders (including open tabs), and most important not use too much product.

Most bars will start you out on a shift at a less busy night or even during the day when you transition to bartender. Night shifts, especially on prime nights, go to the most experienced staff. Not only are they big money shifts but they are also the toughest shifts due to the quick volume you are going against. The toughest part for me was always keeping track of the orders in a busy bar and getting the drinks on time. You will be surprised at how fast you can run out of certain liquors and drinks throughout the night.

I know this is out of the norm for you but a ton of people in nightlife also do MMA/BJJ. When I did it for a few months, I ran into a lot of door guys from college bars who told me that they need it to diffuse fights. My first ever gig at a bar (albeit barback but at a decent bar) came because one of the door guys from my months of doing Ju jitsu liked me and after almost a year (yeah I know it's long but it is like that in some places) it turned into a summer bartending gig.

Since you are in a college town, I can say that outside of talking to the manager directly during an off day or off hour (you can ask the bartenders when the manager might be around and say you are interested in working there), you could get quite lucky in an athletic hobby where those guys are likely to hang out. The same people that work at bars in college town tend to chase masculine hobbies in general or know guys that do. We had a ton of door guys and bartenders at my school who were a part of the club wrestling team and did MMA in conjunction to that.
7/20/22

Weight = 183 somewhat regularly

Number of lays in 2022 = 22
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NightRoller
Posts: 271 | Thanks: 79
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2022 3:06 pm
Name: Graham
Goal: Get Career Job, Move
Age: 23
Motto: Win and help win
Location: Bumfuck Rural US
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Fri Aug 26, 2022 8:13 pm

8/25 Updates:
Struggling in some serious ways with this diet. I'm keeping my calories lower overall, but I've been crashing a lot even though I've increased my protein and fat intake and reduced carbs significantly. I haven't been hitting my protein goals, not even 100g per day (goal is around 170 g for maintenance of muscle while losing fat---I've been around 50-70 per day). Learning to restructure some things because I can eat more eggs and chicken and drink more protein shakes to change this.
But the biggest issue is the crashes. Yesterday I had a major energy crash. My morning meal was a bowl of oatmeal with several dollops of peanut butter, plus some carrots. After going to my classes and a school event, my whole body was overheating and my stomach was still full even 5 hours after I'd eaten lunch, and I felt lethargic and like not doing anything, even thinking. Ate a ton of blueberries (around 2-3 cups) and took a 1.5+ hour early evening nap to regain some energy. I ignored my calendar/goals for the rest of the day, instead choosing to play video games and writing notes to myself to fix my diet today.
No Nightgame, even though I planned to yesterday.

===
Replies:
pancakemouse wrote:
Thu Aug 25, 2022 5:55 pm
First part to start with is changing your look and vibe, then you can work on networking your way into a position (yes, this is kind of the reverse of what you thought bartending would be giving you practice at, right?)
Yeah, I didn't expect it to be so much networking. And I need to learn how to leverage my connections better when talking to hiring managers, but that will come with time.
I think I had inflated expectations from a friend's story about a girl who came to her bar, got a drink, then mentioned she wanted to work in a bar but didn't have any experience beforehand, who got hired then and there. That's rare, and if I want to make this happen I'm going to have to try harder than that story made it seem.
Goals: See this post
Skill-based 365 project
Laycount: 28 --- In 2023: 12 (as of May 03'23)
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pancakemouse
Posts: 1761 | Thanks: 1049
Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2021 4:14 pm
Goal: Master cold approach
Age: 33

Fri Aug 26, 2022 8:37 pm

NightRoller wrote:
Fri Aug 26, 2022 8:13 pm
pancakemouse wrote:
Thu Aug 25, 2022 5:55 pm
First part to start with is changing your look and vibe, then you can work on networking your way into a position (yes, this is kind of the reverse of what you thought bartending would be giving you practice at, right?)
Yeah, I didn't expect it to be so much networking. And I need to learn how to leverage my connections better when talking to hiring managers, but that will come with time.
I think I had inflated expectations from a friend's story about a girl who came to her bar, got a drink, then mentioned she wanted to work in a bar but didn't have any experience beforehand, who got hired then and there. That's rare, and if I want to make this happen I'm going to have to try harder than that story made it seem.
I bolded, underlined, and italicized the operative word.
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NightRoller
Posts: 271 | Thanks: 79
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2022 3:06 pm
Name: Graham
Goal: Get Career Job, Move
Age: 23
Motto: Win and help win
Location: Bumfuck Rural US
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Sat Aug 27, 2022 5:24 pm

8/26 Update:

Finished reading a diet walkthrough article series [link]
Got my ears pierced, have some small earrings. I plan to take a picture soon.
Swing danced some, but came in late because of errands.
Bought a scale to keep better track of weekly progress.
Ate enough protein (153 grams) and used fruit to get me through low-energy points, avoiding candy or junk snacks as I have been on this diet (but also trying to avoid overeating or energy-crashing).
Heard a party down my dorm hall, need to see about getting in with wine and/or girls.
Again failed to do nightgame, this time because of homework due tonight. Still have some of it left today before a date I have planned.


==========
Replies:
Pluto wrote:
Fri Aug 26, 2022 3:31 am
Instead of walking in and talking to the bartenders during a busy shift, try going at a less busy time when the manager is likely to be around. You want to talk to the manager directly and make your case.
Forgot to reply to this yesterday, but thanks for the advice. I'll pay more attention to when I go and ask around about what times are busier/emptier.
Pluto wrote:
Fri Aug 26, 2022 3:31 am
The same people that work at bars in college town tend to chase masculine hobbies in general or know guys that do.
I doubt dancing will bring quite the same with random openings to bartending, but I'll keep my eyes peeled there and at the gym. Never know what will turn up. In the short term, I probably won't go as far as joining MMA or Ju Jitsu for it, but it sounds like a potential future option if I move cities.
pancakemouse wrote:
Fri Aug 26, 2022 8:37 pm
NightRoller wrote: ↑Sat Aug 27, 2022 5:13 am
Yeah, I didn't expect it to be so much networking. And I need to learn how to leverage my connections better when talking to hiring managers, but that will come with time.
I think I had inflated expectations from a friend's story about a girl who came to her bar, got a drink, then mentioned she wanted to work in a bar but didn't have any experience beforehand, who got hired then and there. That's rare, and if I want to make this happen I'm going to have to try harder than that story made it seem.
I bolded, underlined, and italicized the operative word.
I realized this after reading Pluto's description of how girls can often get in easier, but I appreciate the humor :)
Goals: See this post
Skill-based 365 project
Laycount: 28 --- In 2023: 12 (as of May 03'23)
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Pluto
Posts: 315 | Thanks: 45
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2022 12:08 am
Goal: Lose fat
Age: 29
Motto: Push It Past The Limit

Sat Aug 27, 2022 6:14 pm

Usually Monday afternoons right after the bar opens, the manager is likely to be around from my experience. Dancing is not exactly the most masculine hobby. My point is that if you roll towards certain hobbies, you are likely to find it easier to network and naturally meet guys that work at bars.

TBH, nightlife is one avenue where being a dude is a big handicap. Unless you are big and ripped to where you can be a door guy, it is not very male friendly. Bars and clubs run off of attention that the bartenders attract and some hot blonde with a huge rack is likely to get thirsty men tipping her a lot and coming to the bar more. In a college town, this is even more true as most guys lack game and just want eye candy to look at all day.

As a dude, you are not going to bring in as many customers and that is a big part of nightlife and bars. These places run off of what are often thin margins. The guys who do make it into nightlife have to really put in the work and yeah, that might mean being a bar back for a year.

However, your attitude determines everything. I know of guys who were bar backs for a few months, kept a cool attitude, weren't bitter, helped when they could, and the managers gave them bartending shifts when other bartenders were calling out and saying they could not come.
7/20/22

Weight = 183 somewhat regularly

Number of lays in 2022 = 22
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NightRoller
Posts: 271 | Thanks: 79
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2022 3:06 pm
Name: Graham
Goal: Get Career Job, Move
Age: 23
Motto: Win and help win
Location: Bumfuck Rural US
Contact:

Sun Aug 28, 2022 3:35 pm

8/27 Update:

-Failed to hit the gym yesterday. I need to hit the gym to keep my caloric deficit, else I'll just balloon up around my belly again.
-Failed in my plans to do nightgame again. I'm thinking I overestimated the amount of time I would have to do things and underestimated how much I would have to do each day, including cooking, going to the store for supplies, getting ears pierced (the day before), getting homework done...
-I feel like I'm getting a better grasp of this diet. I hit my goal of over 100g of protein once again. (Now, if only I can hit the gym today to remind my muscles to put that protein to use...)
-But what perhaps took the most time was meeting a virgin who hadn't even kissed a guy before, she was worried about her body and being fat (she could stand to lose some, but she was still attractive). Gave her a first kiss and first fingering, and she wasn't ready to go all the way and take my "virginity-taker virginity". Was pretty fun and she was quite talkative, but it took up a lot of time. Another near-notch that may precipitate into one in the future. Found her on Tinder, and both she and the previous girl mentioned that I'm a lot more attractive than I look in my pictures (I'm sure the new piercings don't hurt).

This thread seems to have become less of "cold approach" and more of a "daily progress report". I hope to change that once I'm not busy going to the store or tattoo parlor every other day.

=======
Replies:
Pluto wrote:
Sat Aug 27, 2022 6:14 pm
TBH, nightlife is one avenue where being a dude is a big handicap. [...] However, your attitude determines everything. I know of guys who were bar backs for a few months, kept a cool attitude, weren't bitter, helped when they could, and the managers gave them bartending shifts when other bartenders were calling out and saying they could not come.
I'll keep that in mind. I've got an awesome work ethic and team-focused mindset, so once I'm in I'll be making sure progress there, and it seems the struggle will be getting to that point.
Goals: See this post
Skill-based 365 project
Laycount: 28 --- In 2023: 12 (as of May 03'23)
User avatar
NightRoller
Posts: 271 | Thanks: 79
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2022 3:06 pm
Name: Graham
Goal: Get Career Job, Move
Age: 23
Motto: Win and help win
Location: Bumfuck Rural US
Contact:

Tue Aug 30, 2022 2:25 am

8/28 Update:

Not much. Hit the gym. Overate on the diet a bit. Not seeing much progress in my stomach size, but will use a scale to check more regularly. Lots of homework, no time to nightgame. Poor sleep from ear piercing ache.
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NightRoller
Posts: 271 | Thanks: 79
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2022 3:06 pm
Name: Graham
Goal: Get Career Job, Move
Age: 23
Motto: Win and help win
Location: Bumfuck Rural US
Contact:

Tue Aug 30, 2022 3:38 pm

8/29 Update:

Purchased a few pairs of pants. I hate how the U.S. has its fitting rooms shut down, even in Japan where everyone's still wearing masks the fitting rooms are open so why can't we have that here? (My guess: it's more convenient for the companies so far to keep them closed.) Going to try them on and see what fits, as they're ripped, black, a kind of pants I've had my eye on for some time.
Learning more about cooking and continuing to use MyFitnessPal to log progress. Last week Tuesday (up to the Wednesday before it) I averaged 89 grams of protein (higher than I expected), and this week the average is 122 grams. Much better and closer to my goal. If possible, I want to bring it up to 140 grams at least, but I'm reluctant to drink protein shakes until I get a proper mixing bottle.
Set up an appointment for a haircut next week. Going for short and solid. I'm done with messing with this hair in the morning or trying to get it to sit right in a non-nerdy way.

Tried to go to the bars and hit up some managers, but found out they're closed Mondays. So it goes.
Goals: See this post
Skill-based 365 project
Laycount: 28 --- In 2023: 12 (as of May 03'23)
User avatar
NightRoller
Posts: 271 | Thanks: 79
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2022 3:06 pm
Name: Graham
Goal: Get Career Job, Move
Age: 23
Motto: Win and help win
Location: Bumfuck Rural US
Contact:

Wed Aug 31, 2022 7:56 pm

8/30 Update
Hit a decent starter workout at the gym. Lots of room to add reps and/or weight over time.
Bought a couple more band shirts.
Hit good protein.
Studied some KYIL material.
Goals: See this post
Skill-based 365 project
Laycount: 28 --- In 2023: 12 (as of May 03'23)
User avatar
NightRoller
Posts: 271 | Thanks: 79
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2022 3:06 pm
Name: Graham
Goal: Get Career Job, Move
Age: 23
Motto: Win and help win
Location: Bumfuck Rural US
Contact:

Thu Sep 01, 2022 3:01 pm

8/31 Update:

Matched with a girl this day, she was spontaneous and asked about "what simple trick" I have to "make a good night a great night" (an old bio spiel I have). She came over, then I continued to not kiss her and not touch her until we were in my room, where I stroked her hair and got out a high-pressure game which involves taking off clothes. When it came her turn to take something off, she balked and left. I was a poor judge of what she needed; she needed more comfort, not more pressure. I should have kissed her, even had several decent points to do so. Yet another non-notch of a girl who came into my room.
I hit my step goal today; 9.1/8k. Not as much protein today as I'd like, but enough (>100 g) while staying under my calorie goal.
Took some pictures with a friend/wing, probably got a few good ones. I'll sort through them the next day and in the next few days put some here to see what value any of them have over my old photos.
Another day done, taking baby steps towards my goals.
Goals: See this post
Skill-based 365 project
Laycount: 28 --- In 2023: 12 (as of May 03'23)
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pancakemouse
Posts: 1761 | Thanks: 1049
Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2021 4:14 pm
Goal: Master cold approach
Age: 33

Thu Sep 01, 2022 6:36 pm

NightRoller wrote:
Tue Aug 30, 2022 3:38 pm
8/29 Update:

Purchased a few pairs of pants. I hate how the U.S. has its fitting rooms shut down, even in Japan where everyone's still wearing masks the fitting rooms are open so why can't we have that here? (My guess: it's more convenient for the companies so far to keep them closed.)
I raged at the same thing, but they're all back open again here in New York City. When I asked managers in the Bay Area, they said it was more of a staffing problem than a COVID problem.
NightRoller wrote:
Thu Sep 01, 2022 3:01 pm
8/31 Update:

Matched with a girl this day, she was spontaneous and asked about "what simple trick" I have to "make a good night a great night" (an old bio spiel I have). She came over, then I continued to not kiss her and not touch her until we were in my room, where I stroked her hair and got out a high-pressure game which involves taking off clothes. When it came her turn to take something off, she balked and left. I was a poor judge of what she needed; she needed more comfort, not more pressure. I should have kissed her, even had several decent points to do so. Yet another non-notch of a girl who came into my room.
Uh oh. If you're losing girls that are coming directly over, that's a sign that you're missing multiple big things. Hard to know more without more details. I will say, though, that it doesn't seem like a good idea to gamify the seduction process. Girls want to feel like it was natural and "just happened". So your generalized post-hoc analysis that you were lacking comfort is probably bang on, though with more specifics I and others could probably give more pointed feedback.

Obviously this one is over, but happy to review a recording if you record your next date.
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NightRoller
Posts: 271 | Thanks: 79
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2022 3:06 pm
Name: Graham
Goal: Get Career Job, Move
Age: 23
Motto: Win and help win
Location: Bumfuck Rural US
Contact:

Fri Sep 02, 2022 6:40 pm

Update 9/1:

Stopped by my target bar again, got a (non-alcoholic--my piercings are still healing) drink and burger and talked with one of the bartenders about what she likes and dislikes about the job and what time is best to come if I want to catch a non-busy manager to talk (as my application is already in). I plan to hit it up again on Tuesday, the same day as my upcoming haircut.

Hit the gym, starting low and slow but increasing the reps or weight on everything each workout.

Returned some pants that didn't fit, now have ripped black jeans that fit my target look perfectly--when I wear them.

Took a few of my new photos from the photoshoot and updated my Tinder, then activated a boost. Got around 3-6 matches from it, we'll see if any precipitate into dates. Definitely helped having the better pictures, need to get some more in the future.

Noticed that according to this week that I've been weighing myself, I haven't particularly gone down in weight. My legs do look less fat and more lean than they had before, but I'll wait another week before making any decisions to adjust my diet. It seems like my energy levels have gotten used to this current amount of calories, because I don't feel as lethargic nor have I had any further energy crashes (though that may also be from taking care to have some fruit or bread carbs throughout the day).

==========
Replies:
pancakemouse wrote:
Thu Sep 01, 2022 6:36 pm
Uh oh. If you're losing girls that are coming directly over, that's a sign that you're missing multiple big things. Hard to know more without more details. I will say, though, that it doesn't seem like a good idea to gamify the seduction process. Girls want to feel like it was natural and "just happened".
+ Definitely need to review the basics and work on them. Having a few notches doesn't mean I know much of anything, really, and I need to remind myself of that.
+ That point on the gamification is exactly what I was thinking post-date.
pancakemouse wrote:
Thu Sep 01, 2022 6:36 pm
Obviously this one is over, but happy to review a recording if you record your next date.
I'm not sure how to record the date, especially in a "legal" way. But could record a future date once I know how. I'll work on being detailed and observant in person as well.
Goals: See this post
Skill-based 365 project
Laycount: 28 --- In 2023: 12 (as of May 03'23)
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pancakemouse
Posts: 1761 | Thanks: 1049
Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2021 4:14 pm
Goal: Master cold approach
Age: 33

Sat Sep 03, 2022 7:42 am

NightRoller wrote:
Fri Sep 02, 2022 6:40 pm
I'm not sure how to record the date, especially in a "legal" way. But could record a future date once I know how. I'll work on being detailed and observant in person as well.
Are you concerned with legality or morality? I've found that most guys who talk about legality are actually concerned about morality. Recording conversations is something that doesn't hurt anyone, and it's only used for your own personal improvement.

Easiest way to do it is to use a voice recorder app on your phone with the notifications disabled.
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Squilliam
Posts: 2042 | Thanks: 358
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2021 12:57 am
Goal: Be happy
Age: 24
Motto: Pain is temporary. Greatness lasts forever

Sat Sep 03, 2022 4:29 pm

pancakemouse wrote:
Sat Sep 03, 2022 7:42 am
Are you concerned with legality or morality? I've found that most guys who talk about legality are actually concerned about morality. Recording conversations is something that doesn't hurt anyone, and it's only used for your own personal improvement.

Easiest way to do it is to use a voice recorder app on your phone with the notifications disabled.
This is correct. Most guys are concerned about the morality, not the legality.

@NightRoller I had the same concerns. Once I accepted it was legal and not hurting anybody, I had no qualms with it.

It is legal in many places. Are you in the US? The vast majority of states have one party consent laws. Meaning you can record any conversation that you're involved in without the other person's consent.

It only becomes wiretapping if you are recording a conversation that you aren't involved in.

I highly recommend doing it if you can, it's helped me immensely with figuring out my issues.
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NightRoller
Posts: 271 | Thanks: 79
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2022 3:06 pm
Name: Graham
Goal: Get Career Job, Move
Age: 23
Motto: Win and help win
Location: Bumfuck Rural US
Contact:

Sun Sep 04, 2022 12:54 am

Update 9/2:

Had a girl over once again, this is miss virgin from about a week ago. Thought I'd for sure take her virginity, and there were many points where I was prepared to (slowly, carefully), but her answer was always "no." She said she was a big fan of grinding, so I fingered her for a while, struggled to get hard myself for a ridiculous and awkward amount of time, then she mounted me and rubbed back and forth over my condom-ed dick. She didn't come, I did. I won't count it a notch, but it was fun, and she looked super sexy sitting on top of me even with some belly fat on her end. If she just wants to do this, I might be okay with it for a few more meets before I get bored or tired of it and say I'm not interested in continuing. We both know it's casual, I've made that clear, but it would be fun to take her virginity (or just have sex with her as a non-virgin).

Majorly messed with my sleep schedule the night of 9/2. Between meeting that girl and having to drive home, it ate up a solid 8 hours of time I could have used to finish an assignment that took me from 12:30 until 5:30 am to complete, forward loading exhaustion onto a day I couldn't sleep in because of errands.

Also went over my diet calorie mark by 100-200 calories. Nothing to cry over when I'm normally hitting my mark or below.

======
Replies:
pancakemouse wrote:
Sat Sep 03, 2022 7:42 am
Are you concerned with legality or morality? I've found that most guys who talk about legality are actually concerned about morality. Recording conversations is something that doesn't hurt anyone, and it's only used for your own personal improvement.

Easiest way to do it is to use a voice recorder app on your phone with the notifications disabled.
I'm somewhat concerned around morality, but I'm fine with doing it if it's legal.
I'll do some research on how to turn off notifications on my phone. Just downloaded a voice recorder app. I have a few dates coming up this next week that I'll be able to record my (better than it used to be, far short of where I could be) conversation abilities in practice.
Squilliam wrote:
Sat Sep 03, 2022 4:29 pm
@NightRoller I had the same concerns. Once I accepted it was legal and not hurting anybody, I had no qualms with it.

It is legal in many places. Are you in the US? The vast majority of states have one party consent laws. Meaning you can record any conversation that you're involved in without the other person's consent.
I'm in the U.S., yes. Glad to hear from someone who had the same worries as me. I'm checking the legality of "one party consent laws" in my state as I type this... and it is legal here. Now that I know how and the legality of it, another tool for the toolbox of improvement thanks to awesome guys like you @Squilliam and @pancakemouse !
Goals: See this post
Skill-based 365 project
Laycount: 28 --- In 2023: 12 (as of May 03'23)
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