Only have the urge to approach if the girl makes me horny

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JamalHash123
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Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2020 8:16 am
Goal: Get to $1k ecomm income
Age: 28

Fri Aug 07, 2020 10:35 am

Annyone else have no urge to cold approach girls unless the girl is their type/the girl makes them instantly horny? I like athletic tanned girls who look slutty. I get super turned on by girls like that.

I spammed out my first ~40 approaches on every mildly attractive girl that I could find to force myself to get over approach anxiety. But now, whenever I see a girl that's not my type, I literally have no urge to approach. It's like I see them and my brain thinks "hey she's cute" or "hey could she be down" but I just can't force myself to approach them, I pussy out or something, I keep making excuses not to approach. They just don't make me horny. But if I catch a glimpse of a girl who's my type out of the corner of my eye, I'll literally cross the street to approach lol, like my penis/boner is guiding me.

Anyone have this?

Two alternative theories as to why this is happening other than that I'm only bothered to approach girls I'm super turned on by:
1. Subconsciously I realized that if I keep up my rate of approaches eventually I'll develop a reputation since I usually just hang out around the same few places - malls near my home and my work. So from a risk-reward perspective it's only worth the risk of getting a reputation if I only approach the girls who are really really my type (and who would hence give more reward if I bang them), while picking up the girls-who-aren't-completely-my-type from Tinder etc. I think this is partially a reason.

2. Subconsciously I associate athletic tanned slutty girls with being more receptive/giving better reactions, and my ego is protecting me from getting bad reactions from girls who aren't that type. This is usually true, athletic tanned slutty girls, even fi they don't meet up with me eventually, are usually quite nice to me when I approach them. Girls who don't fit that archetype sometimes shut me down not very nicely for some reason (which is strange because on Tinder I bang a lot of girls who aren't the tanned slutty archetype - so I might actually be cockblocking myself because there are a lot of girls who aren't the tanned slutty archetype who do like me!). I think this might be a main reason

Grateful for thoughts/tips, thanks
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Sin Silver
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Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 9:03 pm
Name: Silver
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Age: 34
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Location: UK

Fri Aug 07, 2020 10:49 am

Yeah, I’ve begun cold approaches again, and have noticed that the more attractive women are easier to speak to.

It’s got to the point where I have less anxiety approaching them than other women.

I figure the more attractive ones are also the more socially alert and developed ones. They’re use to talking to random guys, and can genuinely hold a better conversation that others.


This then cause you to become more comfortable speaking with attractive women, which makes future approaches easier and more desirable.
JaegerBombastic
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Joined: Fri Jul 17, 2020 4:20 pm
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Age: 33
Location: USA

Fri Aug 07, 2020 1:00 pm

JamalHash123 wrote:
Fri Aug 07, 2020 10:35 am
if I keep up my rate of approaches eventually I'll develop a reputation
Every now and then this gets on my mind. I mentioned this to a few friends. One said something like, "What, develop a reputation for going up to women and complimenting them (telling them they're cute)? Sounds like a good reputation to have." Another told me, "Are you kidding? It's not like all these women know each other and get together and compare notes on all the guys that talked to them. I dare you to try and get a 'reputation' in the city. Not possible man."

It didn't completely put my mind at ease, but it did help me see a bigger picture. Made me realize that as long as I'm not being super rude or harassing them, it's not that big of a deal.


And in response to what you actually asked in the thread, I did the same thing for a while. Then I realized that I'd be less likely to approach the women I was super turned on by because I got cold and put too much pressure on myself when I eventually saw one that was 'attractive enough' to approach.

One of the ways I got myself to talk to women who weren't 'attractive enough' was to tell myself that the goal wasn't to hit on them. The goal was just to make small talk, be friendly, warm up, be more social, have some fun. In which case maybe I'll start a more innocuous conversation like asking for directions or making a comment on something. And then if I decide I do want to hit on them after all I can say, "Actually I didn't need directions, I just thought you were cute and wanted to talk to you." I don't do this often, but surprisingly it usually goes over relatively well.

Another way was to keep reminding myself to have an open mind, and that I wasn't "obligated" to keep talking to them or push anything further if I didn't feel like it.
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