🇯🇵 colgate does the AA program in japan 🇯🇵 - day 14bc: high fives......COMPLETED

[colgate]

day 10

• Time, Leave (talk to very first girl you see; DONT let her slip by)
  • 今は何時ですか？

• Time, Do you know if there is a movie theater near here?, Leave
  • ここらへんには映画館がありますか？

• Time, Do you know if there is a movie theater near here?, Have you seen any good movies
  lately?, Leave
  • 最近何かいい映画を見ましたか？何かおすすめがありますか？

• Repeat this 5 times today, you will speak to 15 girls in total.

wow! so many girls were helpful and nice!

3 of the girls pulled out their maps app and diligently searched for the theater for me. and two girls started smiling and laughing when i said i'll go see their movie recommendation.

it only took me 25 minutes to do the drills today.

i had some botched approaches, but some of them it was like the equivalent of scaring a cat; no matter how good your intentions, if you come too strong onto a cat, she will tense up and run away.

and of course there are also occasional antisocial weirdos who just ignore your existence with a blank, slightly irritated face. but if you think about it, there are people in this world who are socially maladjusted or maybe just had a bad day. that includes attractive girls as well. so there's no reason to get angry or depressed, just find a girl who is in a better mood instead.

and it is of utmost importance to do the inner work simultaneously. while taking real action, your deep issues will surface up. and then you need to take some time to journal, go on long, phone-free solo walks, or whatever allows you to get you into deep focus into yourself.

[colgate]

day 11

• Time, Leave (talk to very first girl you see; DONT let her slip by)
  • 今は何時ですか？

• Time, Is there a place that sells cell phones around here?, Leave
  • ここらへんにはスマホの店がありますか？

• Time, Is there a place that sells cell phones around here?, What phone do you have?, Leave
  • どんなスマホ持ってますか？

• Time, Is there a place that sells cell phones around here?, What phone do you have?, Do you
  like it? Leave
  • いいスマホですか？

• Repeat this 5 times today, you will speak to 20 girls in total.

i replaced "cell phone" for "smartphone"

also in japan 95% of people have an iphone, so it's a bit of a strange question. i was kind of hoping to find the one girl with an android or something lol. i naturally caught myself saying "dang everyone has an iphone here in this country"

i didn't count a rep if a chick tried to give some copout answer and darted off away or if she started ignoring me midway through a rep.

despite that, took only around 45 minutes to do the drills, and i think under 25 approaches for the 20 drills. i think my brain is starting to accept and simply move on from the occasional botched approaches.

my favorite moment today is when i saw two equally attractive girls standing next to each other waiting. i approached one at random, and she totally ignored me, but the chick next to her was looking at me and she gave me the time instead. that was kind of cool lol.

[MakingAComeback]

THE KING IS BACK

[colgate]

day 12

• Time, Leave
  • 今は何時ですか？

• Time, Random question-Do you know anywhere that sells nice candles?, Leave
  • いきなりですが、ここらへんにはロウソクが買える店がありますか？

• Time, Random question-Do you know anywhere that sells nice candles?, I'm planning a candlelit dinner for my girlfriend, Leave
  • 彼女とロマンチックなディナーを計画しているんで

• Time, Random question-Do you know anywhere that sells nice candles?, I'm planning a
  candlelit dinner for my girlfriend, I'm the sweetest guy ever, Leave
  • 僕はすごく優しい男ですね。

• Repeat this 4 times today, you will speak to 16 girls in total.

extremely easy drill, literally took me under 20 minutes.

did it in a dress shirt after having to go to the office today, at a different station.

[colgate]

day 13

• Time, Leave (talk to very first girl you see; DONT let her slip by)
  • 今は何時ですか？

• Time, Random question- Do you know anywhere that sells good wine?, Leave
  • ここらへんにはワインが買えるところがありますか？

• Time, Random question- Do you know anywhere that sells good wine?, I got a promotion at work/Passed my test at school and I want to celebrate, Leave
  • 祝いたいので
  • 理想の会社に入社できたんで
  • I started with saying something like "I just got hired at my dream company and want to celebrate", but I found that first saying "I want to celebrate" first and then "because I got hired at my dream company" afterwards yielded better reactions and I didn't feel like I was autistically bragging about my job lol

• Time, Random question- Do you know anywhere that sells good wine?, I got a promotion at work/Passed my test at school and I want to celebrate, What type do you recommend?, Leave
  • ワインのおすすめがありますか？

• Repeat this 4 times today, you will speak to 16 girls in total

another extremely easy drill. i think the fact that these are becoming easy is a good sign, according to @lacroix i was struggling even getting the time earlier.

i'm making it a point to barely even mention weird blowouts because i'm really getting used to them. but notably today:

• chick pulled out her earbuds to hear my question about the time, then promptly put them back in and walked off without answering

• another chick walked off while i was asking about whether there was a wine place nearby, but two girls nearby saw and heard the whole thing, so i just went up to them and finished off the drill.

i'm getting blown off far less than earlier though, and i want to stress that most girls do actually try to help! at the very minimum they'll entertain the drill.

maybe my vibe is settling in, but i am also going for girls who look like they're chilled out or waiting around. but this is PLENTY of volume and definitely enough to get me started. it only took me around 30-40 minutes to go up to 16 girls. i feel like you have to approach approaching japanese girls like you are going to try to get friendly with a cat lol; if you come on too strong, they will freeze up and try to scurry off. 警戒心が強いな

[lacroix]

i'm making it a point to barely even mention weird blowouts because i'm really getting used to them. but notably today:

Yeah for me these barely register

chick pulled out her earbuds to hear my question about the time, then promptly put them back in and walked off without answering

Literally this exact same thing happened to me a few nights ago lol
Except in my case I told her she was cute
Why would some girl run off if some dude asks the time?? I think she wanted to bang you and was just disappointed all you wanted was the time.

another chick walked off while i was asking about whether there was a wine place nearby, but two girls nearby saw and heard the whole thing, so i just went up to them and finished off the drill.

Great. By timidly shirking off you'd be acting like there's something wrong with what you're doing. But there isn't, and you show that by just going up to the next group if they saw because there literally is nothing to be ashamed of.

i'm getting blown off far less than earlier though, and i want to stress that most girls do actually try to help! at the very minimum they'll entertain the drill.

Yup, when I have a decent vibe (most of the time) it's way less common I get straight up "ignored," usually I get a smile/acknowledgment even if they're just keeping to walk away

maybe my vibe is settling in, but i am also going for girls who look like they're chilled out or waiting around.

Yeah I do this too. Zero reason to go up to girls that are charging forward somewhere important. Also I try and read body language, for example I avoid girls walking around with their arms crossed/closed off body language

Sounds like you're really starting to see some of the AA program's positives. I mentioned you'll get all sorts of mindset and vibe benefits as you keep going through the program, as long as you don't take too many days off. That's one thing a lot of people don't understand about the AA program, it's not just AA that you get over. First week or two gets you comfortable/more lighthearted vibe, the week or two after that teaches frame/dominance/leading interactions, and after that you start to understand how people respond to compliments. Keep it up

[lacroix]

By the way, I didn't post this anywhere, but kept personal notes. Putting this here in case it can help you. This is what I did when I redid the entire AA Program last year (7 years after I first did it). This was December 2022-January 2023. I wasn't working full time or doing boxing, so you'll probably take longer. This isn't a deadline to live up to or anything, just to give you an idea of what's reasonable. I was able to start approaching and got the very first daygame lay (girl in library) a few weeks later in February.


1/26
• first half day 40 (20/40 chicks) (about 2.5 hours?)

1/25
• second half day 39 (20 more girls in 130 minutes)

1/15
* first half day 39 (stop then cute, stop then cute then name) (20/40)


1/14
• day 38 (you’re cute x40)

1/13
• day 36 (nicest guy ever)

1/10
• day 25 (what’s for lunch? In korean)

1/9
• day 35 (u mad bro?)

1/8
• day 34 (banana phone)

1/7
• day 33 (I slipped)

1/6
• day 31 (reflection)
• Day 32 (time directions compliment)

1/5
• day 29 (super high five)

1/4
• day 28 (nerd glasses)

1/3
• day 27 (where’s the beach?)

1/2
• day 26 (arnold)

1/1
• day 24 (what do you want for your birthday?)
• Day 25 (what’s for lunch?)
• Day 30 (20 squeezes, nice then cute)

12/30
• day 23 (sesame street)

12/29
• day 22 (suspenders)

12/28
• day 20 (bathroom)

12/27
• day 18, my shirt
• Day 19 (bieber)

12/26
• day 17, sing abcs

12/24
• 20 stationary high fives (day 16). Also go out side and squeeze arms (day 21?)

12/23
• 20 high fives in a single day (day 15)

12/21
• 7 more high fives (day 14 DONE) (NO propranolol), also faster than yesterday

12/20
• 7 high fives (only 7 left) with propranolol

12/19
• 3 high fives and redid day 13 (wine)

12/18
• 2 high fives

12/16
• 1 high five

12/15
• day 13 (wine)

12/14
• day 12 (candlelit dinner)

12/13
• day 11 (cell phone)

12/12
• n/a

12/11
• Day 10 (movie theater)

12/10
• Day 9

12/9
• Day 8

12/8
• n/a

12/7
• Day 7

12/6
• Day 6

12/5
• Day 5 (5 girls time, then did it again)

12/4
• Day 4 (5 girls time)

[colgate]

day 14

• Give 10 girls a high-five.

• Guesstimate how long it took you and record it in your AA Log.

• Repeat this 2 times today, you will high-five 20 girls in total.

VERY interesting day

i was encouraged by @lacroix to skip this, and i had thoughts of "well this drill wouldn't work in japan, i should just go to the ABC drill (day 17)"

also some other dudes here skipped those drills and still managed to get results with approach so....



walked into the station and got blown off 4 times when doing what i'd probably do in america, which is walk up and be like "yo, high five!" (よ、ハイタッチ!). girls that would normally perhaps open if i just asked for the time literally skedaddled. neither solos nor duos would bite.

i have done this kind of thing in nashville on broadway. i've even gone up to girls straight up like "will you be my first kiss?" and actually GOT a makeout (also i got slapped in the face by another girl before that). meanwhile, japanese girls are reacting like i just stripped in front of them.

it was at this point i felt extreme resistance. well i was sort of given the OK to skip this maybe? let me turn this drill into a "survey".

i saw a girl standing around waiting, like the others.

すみません、質問があります。
excuse me, i have a question

はい？
yes?

もし知らない人に「ハイタッチ！」と言われたら、どうしますか？する？しない？
if a stranger came up to you and said "high five!" what would you do? would you give him a high five or not?

えーと、しないですよね。
uhhhh, i probably would not

そうですか。特に理由がありますか？
ah...any particular reason why?

日本の文化だからですね…
i mean...japanese culture...

then i bounced, and decided ok i will survey 15 more girls to make this 20 "reps" for the day and count this.

i started to improvise a bit more off of this. saying shit like "yeah i am just doing a survey about japanese culture", "i want to learn more about japan" blah blah. there were actually some fairly friendly girls and even one i thought wanted me to keep talking to her, but nonetheless i bounced from it to continue the drills.



on approach 12, something very interesting happened.

the girl initially said that she wouldn't give a stranger a high five, i thought to ask her if she'd ever been to another country. she said she'd been to america so...

じゃあ、もしアメリカで白人や僕みたいな茶色の人に同じく「high five!」と言われたらしますよね。
ok, so what if you were in america and some white or brown guy like me came up to you and said "high five!", you would do it right?

そう…かもしれませんね
i...might..yeah

じゃあ、僕はアメリカ人なので、ハイタッチしないか？
ok, so i am american. won't you give me a high five?

笑笑、まあ
haha...ok


and i GET the high five! the first one! i don't think i've ever been so excited to get a high five in my life.


i just decided to use approach 12 as a "stack" for getting a high five. initially get a "no" but then propose the scenario that she WOULD give a high five if this were america, and then getting it that way.

though one chick said she wouldn't do it even in america lolol.

i kept going. on reps 15-19 i got high fives as well!

girl 17 was the first girl who actually answered "yes" to whether she'd give a stranger a high five.

girl 18 was an asian-canadian who didn't speak japanese. i did the "survey" on her in english and she gave me a high five, as i expected.

girl 19 said she would only give me a high five if i wasn't japanese...INTERESTING!


in the end i managed to get 6 high fives. i only ended the drill for the day because i did 20 "reps" (4 of those initial blowoffs and then 16 "surveys").

i only counted a "rep" if the girl didn't prematurely leave the "survey" (i think i went up to around 30 girls total)

the huge lesson here is that if you are REALLY laser-focused on what you want, and not completely cucked by negative and harmful beliefs, your brain will invent a path for success! you will improvise! and figure it out!

and this also took me around an hour and a half, and that was WITH a 20 minute or so period of anxiety where i aimlessly walked around because i was too complacent about my "streak"

onwards!

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hol up, wait a minute, something aint right

12/24
• 20 stationary high fives (day 16). Also go out side and squeeze arms (day 21?)

12/23
• 20 high fives in a single day (day 15)

12/21
• 7 more high fives (day 14 DONE) (NO propranolol), also faster than yesterday

12/20
• 7 high fives (only 7 left) with propranolol

12/19
• 3 high fives and redid day 13 (wine)

12/18
• 2 high fives

12/16
• 1 high five

this mfer actually did the fucking high five drill!!!!!!! in korea!

what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yo WHAT

スクリーンショット 2024-04-24 21.43.50.png

THIS IS THE DRILL FOR MY EXACT PROBLEM IN COLD APPROACH RIGHT NOW!

i get WAY TOO DOWN about these blowoffs and rejections.

this isn't strolling through a university campus in the south talking to some chick on her way from biology class...


i'm at 6 right now

to be continued...

[victorcr1]

The survey strategy is brilliant, congratulations

[colgate]

day 14b
yesterday i got caught up in work meetings and i only had an hour to go out. still, that's plenty of time to do some damage

but my accountability goal for this was ill-defined, so i only managed to do 4 surveys and 1 high five. the shapeshifting demon got the best of me

day 14c
the shapeshifting demon haunted me for nearly 2 hours. i was watching, in seething jealousy, some documentary about how this homeless guy in new york gets lodging by picking up chicks.

i learned that his life philosophy has unfortunately become "it is your duty if you are alive to do as many drugs as possible" and even if he had some crazy heyday 10 years ago, now he's just doing the drugs, his looks withered away.

he never faced his demons. imagine what kind of awesome and unique lifestyle he could have had if he did.




that got me thinking about my situation. for all intents and purposes, i am the polar opposite of this guy. following the rules and being a decent, contributing member of society is brainlessly easy for me. in fact, i have a high aptitude for it.

yet there's an important common point we have. are we allowing our demons to hijack our life?

the shapeshifting demon agrees with my analysis. he tells me i should in fact, double the amount of hours i put in at my new job that i enjoy (with no monetary benefit). or i should just relax after a productive day at work with some internet binging and chat shitposting.

what if in 10 years, i never faced my demons?




i put on my clothes and got out the door. ok you shape shifting mother fucker, come out!

now i am face to face with him. i know he thrives when i don't acknowledge his existence and let him run free. he thrives when i identify myself with him. now we're one on one.

he tells me i should just pay up the $50 man. go to boxing. or maybe skip that too, you can reflect bro. take a long relaxing walk, you've earned it bro.




wanna reflect? let's do it right now.

i let him speak his mind in my "myself" chat. he writes for half an hour, until he is tired out.

i put my phone back in my pocket, sit on a staircase, and tell myself to just stare at the people walking by. just get lost in the moment and meditate.


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すみません、質問聞いてもいいですか？
excuse me, i have a question for you

high five on my third "survey"

on the 5th too

missed opportunity by joking with a chick who said her hands were sweaty
いいよ、このあと手洗いに行くから
it's all good, I'll go wash my hands after
いやだ！ひどいよー
no way! that's too far!

no worries, i got a seven girl streak afterwards! (not counting botched approaches), half of the girls instantly agreeing without me having to turn it into the "if this were america you would" scenario.

there was a duo where one girl refused and acted cold but her friend gave me a high five.

at least two duos both gave me high fives.

i got my 20 survey reps in but i was at 19 high fives. i had to finish this off...

four more survey sets later and i got my 20 high fives!

so today i got 13 high fives from 24 "surveys", far better than two days ago! in roughly 30-35 approaches. and i was only actually doing drills for around an hour!

in total day 14 took me:

• 3 days (~4 hours)

• 50-60 approaches

• 48 "surveys"
  • approaches that actually listened to my spiel and didn't prematurely eject)

• 20 high fives

this probably isn't what gll chris had in mind, but it's how i got it done here in japan

[lacroix]

Dude that is really awesome. We really are our own worst enemies. The physical ACT of approaching (and doing drills) is dead easy but we all have our own shapeshifting demons that we have to confront, that hold us back in a million different ways. And no matter where you're at there is always something about going out there and doing something beat him down. 99% of the time, he's all bark, no bite.

this probably isn't what gll chris had in mind, but it's how i got it done here in japan

lol it's hard to think of a pickup environment more different from santa monica beach in 2011 than a tokyo subway station in 2024. ancient Rome maybe?

that got me thinking about my situation. for all intents and purposes, i am the polar opposite of this guy. following the rules and being a decent, contributing member of society is brainlessly easy for me. in fact, i have a high aptitude for it.

In school I was constantly praised for being quiet, never talking out, being "mature," following all the rules. Maybe you were the same way? Yet the people who get ahead are the ones who know when and how to bend the rules. Follow them all, have a mediocre life. Break them when it matters, find out there's nothing backing them up, and be great.

[colgate]

Maybe you were the same way? Yet the people who get ahead are the ones who know when and how to bend the rules.

actually not quite haha. was often on weird disciplinary measures in elementary school.

but i think in my case i was very obedient to my childhood religion and in fact, this was the most important "virtue" my mom taught me. it's funny because the deep childhood part of me associates the word "obedient" with rewards and positivity while i look at the word now and it just sounds like the most emasculating word possible. very interesting rift

[lacroix]

but i think in my case i was very obedient to my childhood religion and in fact, this was the most important "virtue" my mom taught me. it's funny because the deep childhood part of me associates the word "obedient" with rewards and positivity while i look at the word now and it just sounds like the most emasculating word possible. very interesting rift

Ah ok. Guess you were the troublemaker in school haha
I guess in your case the rules that you followed were the religious ones instead of the ones at school. Either way the effect ends up being the same. It's all programming we have to undo as we become adults