Cold Approach Log: Journey out of Despair

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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Mon Aug 23, 2021 4:26 am

Whenever I try to go out and do approaches I feel sadness or despair. I haven't had a date after using several dating apps and cold approaching for 7 months. They tell me they are married, have a boyfriend or they're lesbian. Should I keep going and feeling terrible? Stick with online?
Last edited by AmericanAndy on Mon May 23, 2022 4:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Radical
Posts: 1690 | Thanks: 1130
Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 12:02 pm
Name: Cam
Goal: Funnel/Product Building
Age: 29
Motto: Take drastic action
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Mon Aug 23, 2021 10:08 am

Online - you need to improve your profile (post it up here and we can help)
Approach - you need to up the volume. The answer is usually talk to more girls

Congrats on taking action with both of these already, you just need to start taking better action rather than spinning wheels

I advise turning this into a log, setting out your concrete goals and guys here will help you along the way
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In depth style guide click here

Current goals: Build biz & move abroad
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KillYourInnerLoser
Posts: 1474 | Thanks: 1582
Joined: Fri May 29, 2020 7:03 am
Name: Andy
Goal: Elite body.
Age: 34
Motto: "You sure as hell can too."
Location: Australia
Contact:

Mon Aug 23, 2021 9:25 pm

Andy / Australia
My YouTube

Be coached by me
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Mon Aug 23, 2021 10:20 pm

ok here's a link to my tinder profile https://tinder.com/@liftbig. I'm going to try more approaches tomorrow. Trying to get at least 3. So far my mood hasn't been that great to do more at once.
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drifter
Posts: 47 | Thanks: 24
Joined: Sun Jun 21, 2020 5:30 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30

Mon Aug 23, 2021 10:32 pm

AmericanAndy wrote:
Mon Aug 23, 2021 10:20 pm
ok here's a link to my tinder profile https://tinder.com/@liftbig. I'm going to try more approaches tomorrow. Trying to get at least 3. So far my mood hasn't been that great to do more at once.
Props for posting your Tinder profile.

You really need to improve your photos, they are quite bad.

#1 selfie with a phone camera. Don't use a selfie as your first pic and use a DSLR.

#2 Extremely blurry and pixelated (I could count every pixel by hand). Another selfie, this time a mirror one. You also have a very sad expression in the photo.

#3 and #4 Are basically the same photo: extremely close-up selfie from a very unflattering angle. #4 you have dark circles around your eyes because of the lighting source.

#5 Another mirror selfie. Top tier frame (wide shoulders), that is very good. You can take a much better photo that shows off your physique and frame.

Overall I would say that your profile is way below average. You're not a bad looking guy, you just take very bad photos and they're all selfies. Get a DSLR or have someone with a DLSR take photos of you.


https://killyourinnerloser.com/why-your ... ures-suck/

What to aim for:
https://killyourinnerloser.com/inspiration/
Last edited by drifter on Mon Aug 23, 2021 11:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Mon Aug 23, 2021 11:01 pm

I will find someone to do photos. I will see this week. Thanks for the feedback.
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Wed Aug 25, 2021 1:05 am

Did three more cold approaches today. First one she ignored me and I don't think she could speak English either. Second one I started talking to in Spanish but then she suddenly said she had to go. Last girl simply said no thanks.

Just sent an email out asking for photo rates. I might get a tripod and use my own DSLR to see if I can get any good shots.
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drz
Posts: 57 | Thanks: 39
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2021 8:10 pm
Goal: Improve cold approach
Age: 31
Location: UK

Wed Aug 25, 2021 1:49 pm

You've got a similar issue to me - camera anxiety. I feel awkward making eye contact with anything involving a lens and I can't pose well. Not to be rude, but you look rather unhappy in your current photos.

I ended up getting various mates/wings to take photos of me out and about. I then used FaceApp and Photoshop to make my expressions look less awkward and to tone up lighting. Finally I used PhotoFeeler to gauge their worth by women. If it was rated 8 or more out of 10 overall, I used it online.

Hope that helps!
My goals (next 4 years):
- fix the poor approach-to-date ratio
- get into a relationship (done, in one from March 2021)
- move to a detached house
- Find a way of perma-reducing anxiety when I'm out.


My log
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Sun Aug 29, 2021 8:40 pm

I just had some pro photos done. Let me know what ones you like most. I'm trying out photofeeler as well right now.
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drifter
Posts: 47 | Thanks: 24
Joined: Sun Jun 21, 2020 5:30 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30

Sun Aug 29, 2021 8:48 pm

Those are a million times better. You look much more attractive in these photos taken with a proper camera with a good lens compared to your lens distorted selfies.

I hope you have them in a higher quality/resolution? Preferably in RAW format for photoshop. The photos look a little blurry in this overly compressed file size.
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Sun Aug 29, 2021 8:56 pm

drifter wrote:
Sun Aug 29, 2021 8:48 pm
Those are a million times better. You look much more attractive in these photos taken with a proper camera with a good lens compared to your lens distorted selfies.

I hope you have them in a higher quality/resolution? Preferably in RAW format for photoshop. The photos look a little blurry in this overly compressed file size.
Yea I have high res, I made thumbnails so it would upload onto the forum. Thanks for feedback.
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Rags2Bitches
Posts: 189 | Thanks: 166
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2020 3:49 am
Name: Andrey
Goal: Build service biz
Age: 31
Location: TX
Contact:

Mon Aug 30, 2021 1:44 am

hey dude if you post a link to the high res versions of the above, I can edit the 2-3 that I think are best
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AmericanAndy
Posts: 45 | Thanks: 9
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 2:38 am
Goal: Sex and Threesomes
Age: 34

Mon Aug 30, 2021 1:55 am

Rags2Bitches wrote:
Mon Aug 30, 2021 1:44 am
hey dude if you post a link to the high res versions of the above, I can edit the 2-3 that I think are best
I will PM you a link to my google drive.
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Rags2Bitches
Posts: 189 | Thanks: 166
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2020 3:49 am
Name: Andrey
Goal: Build service biz
Age: 31
Location: TX
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Mon Aug 30, 2021 6:41 am

ok i edited 3 of them. will pm you high res versions
you should try this one as your first
69835D83-3EBC-4887-891D-DA5708D5E568.jpeg
this one as your 2nd
7EB2D192-0890-4253-A28C-5FC9666E37CA.jpeg
and this one further back in the line up
C7CE19AB-40EA-4548-B2DD-F96FD391EE34.jpeg
this will give you a good base. standing against the wall with white button down is also decent, didn’t have time to edit that one (facial expression is a bit too sad). even if you use just those first 3 photos (don’t add inferior photos just for the sake of adding them, especially not in repeating clothes) you should see an immediate improvement over your last profile.

priorities for your next photoshoot:
- group photo where you are smiling…hire someone or ask strangers if you don’t have friends, doesn’t matter
- animal photo..take photographer to the shelter if you or your friends don’t have one..those dogs need someone to play with them, it’s a win win for you and the shelter/dogs
- hobby photo (can be literally anything, even cooking, whatever). should look natural and not posed…don’t look at the camera

your style is also pretty bad…shirts and jeans are too loose, shoes aren’t good, not a fan of that necklace either. good thing that’s one of the fastest areas to fix. @Radical

great job on taking action and making immediate improvements. keep at it
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 2000 | Thanks: 1655
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 10 Lays In 2022 (6/10)
Age: 30
Motto: No Excuses

Mon Aug 30, 2021 7:08 am

Fuck yeah those pics look awesome keep going brother. I also feel despair sometimes you are not alone but trust me we will make it.

MAC
GOALS 2021: ALL ACHIEVED
GOALS 2022:
(1) 0 to 10 Lifetime Lays (Current Status: 6/10)
(2) Beat AA
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