Where should I restart my life?

Meetups, advice/questions about specific locations, etc.
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Lieutenant Lucid
Posts: 20 | Thanks: 11
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2022 5:38 pm
Goal: Self-optimization
Age: 34
Motto: Give meaning to your suffering.

Thu Sep 15, 2022 5:24 am

Long story short, I'm approaching the end of a 7+ year recovery period after my health crashed in 2015. It's effectively been a factory reset on my life. I'm just now looking at moving into my own place again in the near future - but I have no idea where to go

Outside of 3-4 friends across the US, I have no social circle tying me anywhere. I work remote, so my location doesn't matter in that department. The sheer number of options I have (basically the entire planet) has me overwhelmed

I don't have a lot of criteria. My main goals for the immediate future are to build a social circle and a dating life - so I probably want to stick to larger cities where I can meet more people/women around my age. At the same time I'd like to be close enough to nature that I can go there when I like. That's pretty much it

If you guys have any suggestions I'd appreciate hearing them
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MakingAComeback
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Goal: 10 Lays In 2022 (8/10)
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Thu Sep 15, 2022 6:03 am

Alright, Lucid so I'm not in the states so can't advise, but I did this myself and started my life again in London moving from a smaller and quieter place.

Lots of people, lots of nice girls, and a great thriving hub of activity. You need a setup like that for a big time comeback.

We've had many bros move around and settle down in different parts of the US, so they will chime in.

MAC
POSITIVE SELF TALK

GOALS 2021: ALL ACHIEVED
GOALS 2022:
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(3) Body Transformation: Ripped Abs & Elite Build

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Lieutenant Lucid
Posts: 20 | Thanks: 11
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2022 5:38 pm
Goal: Self-optimization
Age: 34
Motto: Give meaning to your suffering.

Sat Sep 17, 2022 11:42 pm

@MakingAComeback thanks man, good to know I'm not the only one who's faced this issue. ngl, given my age it's pretty daunting
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pancakemouse
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Sun Sep 18, 2022 12:51 am

Lieutenant Lucid wrote:
Thu Sep 15, 2022 5:24 am
The sheer number of options I have (basically the entire planet) has me overwhelmed
Yet you've literally done the same thing to us.

You're asking us to answer a question without providing any preferences or pertinent information.

How could we possibly venture to know more about where you should live than you do?

Choice of location is an intensely personal question.

Meditate deeply on your preferences. Start evaluating different cities and figure out what you like and don't like about them.

The answer should become clear. If it's not, then man up and make a decision yourself by throwing a dart at a map, because it sounds like it truly doesn't matter to you.
Last edited by pancakemouse on Sun Sep 18, 2022 1:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Manganiello
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Sun Sep 18, 2022 1:01 am

I mean guys in game seem to congregate to big cities or cities that have a good nightlife (Austin/Nashville).

Or you could just switch continents haha...

But honestly I wouldn't bother taking on your dating life in a small city.

For social life and dating, go to big cities. You can set up a successful social/sex life in smaller cities, but you do run into a ceiling.
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MakingAComeback
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Sun Sep 18, 2022 10:16 am

Lieutenant Lucid wrote:
Sat Sep 17, 2022 11:42 pm
@MakingAComeback thanks man, good to know I'm not the only one who's faced this issue. ngl, given my age it's pretty daunting
Moved out from my parents at 30 after years of battle with health.

Came here Nov 2022. Went all in.

I have lived multiple lifetimes in one year and done what I never thought I'd do. I have gathered important and necessary life experiences and became a far better man.

We both have many sunrises left. Life is there to be enjoyed. It is always available for you providing you're still breathing.

If life isn't truly HELL, it is important to be grateful. Very grateful.

We have a similar background, and similar challenges, and I have been through the exact same process you're going through now. I can reassure you that you will be OK bro. Your age will not be a factor. You will enjoy your life 4 x. I think of some of the memories I made this year, from losing my virginity, to getting a lay with a legit hot girl one time, to the endless approaches, dates, trips with the bros. The memories will last a lifetime.

And there is much success to come.

It's a journey man. If you wanna talk PM me, I also use Telegram if you're on there.

There is no obligation to stay in one location. Try several. I did that and settled in SW London.

MAC
POSITIVE SELF TALK

GOALS 2021: ALL ACHIEVED
GOALS 2022:
(1) 0 to 10 Lifetime Lays (Current Status: 8/10)
(2) Beat AA
(3) Body Transformation: Ripped Abs & Elite Build

My Progress Log: Outworking God's Plan - My Relentless Journey

My Free FB Group (Wellness & Human Potential)
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Lieutenant Lucid
Posts: 20 | Thanks: 11
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2022 5:38 pm
Goal: Self-optimization
Age: 34
Motto: Give meaning to your suffering.

Sun Sep 18, 2022 10:27 pm

Manganiello wrote:
Sun Sep 18, 2022 1:01 am
I mean guys in game seem to congregate to big cities or cities that have a good nightlife (Austin/Nashville).

Or you could just switch continents haha...

But honestly I wouldn't bother taking on your dating life in a small city.

For social life and dating, go to big cities. You can set up a successful social/sex life in smaller cities, but you do run into a ceiling.
Yeah definitely not planning to stay in a small town. My only hang up with large cities is that it's harder to find nature-dominated areas but it's not a major thing

i guess when you have no ties anywhere most large cities are similar to each other. i have always wanted to go to Europe. this might be a good time to do that
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Lieutenant Lucid
Posts: 20 | Thanks: 11
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2022 5:38 pm
Goal: Self-optimization
Age: 34
Motto: Give meaning to your suffering.

Sun Sep 18, 2022 10:32 pm

MakingAComeback wrote:
Sun Sep 18, 2022 10:16 am
Lieutenant Lucid wrote:
Sat Sep 17, 2022 11:42 pm
@MakingAComeback thanks man, good to know I'm not the only one who's faced this issue. ngl, given my age it's pretty daunting
Moved out from my parents at 30 after years of battle with health.

Came here Nov 2022. Went all in.

I have lived multiple lifetimes in one year and done what I never thought I'd do. I have gathered important and necessary life experiences and became a far better man.

We both have many sunrises left. Life is there to be enjoyed. It is always available for you providing you're still breathing.

If life isn't truly HELL, it is important to be grateful. Very grateful.

We have a similar background, and similar challenges, and I have been through the exact same process you're going through now. I can reassure you that you will be OK bro. Your age will not be a factor. You will enjoy your life 4 x. I think of some of the memories I made this year, from losing my virginity, to getting a lay with a legit hot girl one time, to the endless approaches, dates, trips with the bros. The memories will last a lifetime.

And there is much success to come.

It's a journey man. If you wanna talk PM me, I also use Telegram if you're on there.

There is no obligation to stay in one location. Try several. I did that and settled in SW London.

MAC
thanks for putting it this way, i seriously needed to hear that. I've been pretty depressed about my situation and all the time I've been forced to waste while I recover. knowing that someone in a similar position has made it out of this alive and thriving is very comforting. I'm looking forward to getting started
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Astronaut
Posts: 20 | Thanks: 7
Joined: Sun Aug 07, 2022 12:31 pm
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Age: 29
Motto: Action cures fear

Sun Sep 18, 2022 11:45 pm

I'm with Mac here - you need to test. You work remote, so you can do the digital nomad thing, travel around a bit, see different places.

Never been to US. I've got experience in Europe/Asia.

I've found that smaller places are easier on the community side, bigger cities have busy people, long distances/commutes, etc. but that's just my experience. It might be different for you.

If you're looking outside US, I would check out the following:

- South America, Medellin or something else, I know there's expat communities there (never been myself, but it's the closest to you)
- Las Palmas de Gran Canaria. Great place, summer all year round, still Europe so civilization, easier with women and becoming a part of the community
- Cheaper EU countries, although keep in mind there's winter coming soon
- Thailand (Chiang Mai), Vietnam (Da Nang or Hanoi/Saigon if you're into bigger cities but beware they're concrete jungles), Bali

Anyway you're in a good position to prep your shit and explore the world a little bit. I'm the same as you - nothing keeping me in one place - so I figured I might as well live in a sunny place that has no winter. Let me know if you need any more specifics on that :) I'm personally not a huge fan of SE Asia, but lots of Americans love it there
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klondike
Posts: 27 | Thanks: 5
Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2022 12:58 am
Goal: Bone 20 Girls
Age: 34

Mon Sep 19, 2022 3:07 am

Since you're remote you can just do 2 weeks in each city and see what you like. Find an AirBNB, find a coworking space for your 9-5 then a list of bars, gyms and places to explore after work.
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Svadhishthana
Posts: 266 | Thanks: 225
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Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Mon Sep 19, 2022 3:59 am

If you want a decent city + outdoor access, head west young man. I can't think of many cities in the east like that. Maybe Chatt (small) or Atlanta (traffic, not that great).

But in the west there are some decent options. Denver/Boulder, SLC, ABQ, Phoenix, Flag, Boise, Bend, Portland, Seattle, etc. They all have their benefits and detriments, but worth checking out.
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colgate
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Mon Sep 19, 2022 6:58 am

ok it's time for colgate to squeeze out some of his paste and brush the forums clean

can you start a progress log and try to write your story and list out some goals and put this question in the log. as pancakemouse said, it's too vague and we hardly know anything about you because it's not tied to a personal progress log we can look at.
LieutenantLucid wrote:
Sun Sep 18, 2022 10:16 am
My only hang up with large cities is that it's harder to find nature-dominated areas but it's not a major thing
second-tier american cities would be your best bet.

i'm currently in nashville and if you want nature, within a few hours drive out and you can go to many hiking spots in tennessee. but it has a vibrant nightlife, people are flooding to this city, and the vibe is chill af.
Svadhishthana wrote:
Mon Sep 19, 2022 3:59 am
Maybe Chatt (small)
lmfao i can't believe someone recommended chattanooga

chattanooga def is even closer to all the nature shit, but unless you want your social circle to be doing coke in a beat up volkswagen golf after smoking 9 cigarettes in a pool hall i'd look elsewhere
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 2393 | Thanks: 2126
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
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Age: 31
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Mon Sep 19, 2022 7:21 am

Lieutenant Lucid wrote:
Sun Sep 18, 2022 10:32 pm
MakingAComeback wrote:
Sun Sep 18, 2022 10:16 am


Moved out from my parents at 30 after years of battle with health.

Came here Nov 2022. Went all in.

I have lived multiple lifetimes in one year and done what I never thought I'd do. I have gathered important and necessary life experiences and became a far better man.

We both have many sunrises left. Life is there to be enjoyed. It is always available for you providing you're still breathing.

If life isn't truly HELL, it is important to be grateful. Very grateful.

We have a similar background, and similar challenges, and I have been through the exact same process you're going through now. I can reassure you that you will be OK bro. Your age will not be a factor. You will enjoy your life 4 x. I think of some of the memories I made this year, from losing my virginity, to getting a lay with a legit hot girl one time, to the endless approaches, dates, trips with the bros. The memories will last a lifetime.

And there is much success to come.

It's a journey man. If you wanna talk PM me, I also use Telegram if you're on there.

There is no obligation to stay in one location. Try several. I did that and settled in SW London.

MAC
thanks for putting it this way, i seriously needed to hear that. I've been pretty depressed about my situation and all the time I've been forced to waste while I recover. knowing that someone in a similar position has made it out of this alive and thriving is very comforting. I'm looking forward to getting started
Anytime bro.

Look man, been here. Was in my house from 24-27 just trying to function as a human being. 26-28 working hard AF to make up for lost time and trying to heal. 29, it was time to make a comeback, hence the username. I have lived it. You will too.

Healing is intensely personal but I do not believe it needs to be something you have to wait by the sidelines over. The approach I took was, and yes we've both done huge research and been through a lot of process: I need to find a way to heal and build strength in integrity in my entire system. I need to learn how to revitalise it all and build myself up into something greater than I am. I am broken, but when I fix myself, I will build myself again, and this time, I will be unbreakable, a man of iron.

It's looking like I'm going to do it man. It took time, yes, but as soon as I found what actually creates capacity and wellness in human beings, the enemy (health problems) was finally put on the backfoot and my survival instinct kicked in, I showed it no mercy and destroyed it in battle. I am now free. You will be too.

NOT PREACHING: Just wanna share brother, and offer you thoughts. Just an offering, not coaching, and not advice......

In ketotsis we have 4 x the ATP available. When we're healing, this is deeply valuable and the clarity and brain function it provides helps us sort out life out a lot. Autophagy from sensible fasting is crucial for cleaning up the toxins that accumulate in the sick body. And seeing the sunrise, sunset, exercising and getting lots of light support our cells in finding harmony again and creating overall systemic wellness. Easier said than done, yes, but once you start feeling better and functioning at a higher level, you have autonomy, control, and the capacity to do what you want in your life.

That is what healing can do for you, once you have a sensible approach nailed down, which you do no doubt do. I would still be remiss to not mention circadian principles as they are free, require little effort to apply, and are so deeply healing.

Reverse engineer the case studies of people who deeply healed and you'll find common threads. I did this with many stories, and by the time I found my own mentors and teachers, I was ready to go for the kill.

I appreciate you went down the functional medicine route. The forum I use which is often a place where people end up when nothing else has worked is literally filled with people who spent ungodly sums of money on functional testing, only to find the answers were actually free: see the sunrise, see the sunset, 100oz of water, electrolytes, cold thermogenesis, consume DHA daily, ketosis, and exercise. Light, Water and Magnetism is nature's law.

You will get there dude. If you ever wanna talk, I'm here, and will listen. And look bro, I was more than depressed about my old life. Watch my interviews with Andy. I had a mental breakdown a few months before my 30th of birthday and vomitted in public he middle of the working day. Went home and just had a mental breakdown as I was a virgin who'd never been on a date and was turning 30. Came here, started a log, worked my butt off, and I will somehow find love and start a family dude and put all this pain behind me.

Ravi
POSITIVE SELF TALK

GOALS 2021: ALL ACHIEVED
GOALS 2022:
(1) 0 to 10 Lifetime Lays (Current Status: 8/10)
(2) Beat AA
(3) Body Transformation: Ripped Abs & Elite Build

My Progress Log: Outworking God's Plan - My Relentless Journey

My Free FB Group (Wellness & Human Potential)
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Lieutenant Lucid
Posts: 20 | Thanks: 11
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2022 5:38 pm
Goal: Self-optimization
Age: 34
Motto: Give meaning to your suffering.

Sun Sep 25, 2022 8:17 pm

I need to learn how to revitalise it all and build myself up into something greater than I am. I am broken, but when I fix myself, I will build myself again, and this time, I will be unbreakable, a man of iron.
@MakingAComeback This is how I'm approaching it. Non-linear healing is a bitch but the silver lining of it is the few good days you have, you get a glimpse of all the untapped potential you have when you're not weighed down by your symptoms. I've had maybe less than 10 days like that in the last 7 years, but those are the days that have kept me from giving up. I can't wait to see what version of myself I become next
And look bro, I was more than depressed about my old life. Watch my interviews with Andy. I had a mental breakdown a few months before my 30th of birthday and vomitted in public he middle of the working day. Went home and just had a mental breakdown as I was a virgin who'd never been on a date and was turning 30. Came here, started a log, worked my butt off, and I will somehow find love and start a family dude and put all this pain behind me.
Have you really only been at this for 1-2 years? That's a ton of progress man. Your level of motivation is inspiring. I used to be the same way before the worst of this hit me, and I'm looking forward to getting back to it.
You will get there dude. If you ever wanna talk, I'm here, and will listen.
Honestly just hearing this from someone really helps. I go through every day with a voice in the back of my head saying "what if this is as good as it gets?". I'm sure once I'm well enough to work on my goals beyond health I won't feel so hung up about my age. But I genuinely appreciate your support

I'll also look into the circadian, keto, thermogenesis, etc. stuff you mentioned
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