Long story short, I'm approaching the end of a 7+ year recovery period after my health crashed in 2015. It's effectively been a factory reset on my life. I'm just now looking at moving into my own place again in the near future - but I have no idea where to go
Outside of 3-4 friends across the US, I have no social circle tying me anywhere. I work remote, so my location doesn't matter in that department. The sheer number of options I have (basically the entire planet) has me overwhelmed
I don't have a lot of criteria. My main goals for the immediate future are to build a social circle and a dating life - so I probably want to stick to larger cities where I can meet more people/women around my age. At the same time I'd like to be close enough to nature that I can go there when I like. That's pretty much it
If you guys have any suggestions I'd appreciate hearing them
Where should I restart my life?
- Lieutenant Lucid
- Posts: 20 | Thanks: 17
- Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2022 5:38 pm
- Goal: Self-optimization
- Age: 34
- Motto: Give meaning to your suffering.
- MakingAComeback
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Alright, Lucid so I'm not in the states so can't advise, but I did this myself and started my life again in London moving from a smaller and quieter place.
Lots of people, lots of nice girls, and a great thriving hub of activity. You need a setup like that for a big time comeback.
We've had many bros move around and settle down in different parts of the US, so they will chime in.
MAC
Lots of people, lots of nice girls, and a great thriving hub of activity. You need a setup like that for a big time comeback.
We've had many bros move around and settle down in different parts of the US, so they will chime in.
MAC
-Your friend, Ravi
Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential
My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential
My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
- Lieutenant Lucid
- Posts: 20 | Thanks: 17
- Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2022 5:38 pm
- Goal: Self-optimization
- Age: 34
- Motto: Give meaning to your suffering.
@MakingAComeback thanks man, good to know I'm not the only one who's faced this issue. ngl, given my age it's pretty daunting
- pancakemouse
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Yet you've literally done the same thing to us.Lieutenant Lucid wrote: βThu Sep 15, 2022 5:24 amThe sheer number of options I have (basically the entire planet) has me overwhelmed
You're asking us to answer a question without providing any preferences or pertinent information.
How could we possibly venture to know more about where you should live than you do?
Choice of location is an intensely personal question.
Meditate deeply on your preferences. Start evaluating different cities and figure out what you like and don't like about them.
The answer should become clear. If it's not, then man up and make a decision yourself by throwing a dart at a map, because it sounds like it truly doesn't matter to you.
Last edited by pancakemouse on Sun Sep 18, 2022 1:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
- Manganiello
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I mean guys in game seem to congregate to big cities or cities that have a good nightlife (Austin/Nashville).
Or you could just switch continents haha...
But honestly I wouldn't bother taking on your dating life in a small city.
For social life and dating, go to big cities. You can set up a successful social/sex life in smaller cities, but you do run into a ceiling.
Or you could just switch continents haha...
But honestly I wouldn't bother taking on your dating life in a small city.
For social life and dating, go to big cities. You can set up a successful social/sex life in smaller cities, but you do run into a ceiling.
- MakingAComeback
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Moved out from my parents at 30 after years of battle with health.Lieutenant Lucid wrote: βSat Sep 17, 2022 11:42 pm@MakingAComeback thanks man, good to know I'm not the only one who's faced this issue. ngl, given my age it's pretty daunting
Came here Nov 2022. Went all in.
I have lived multiple lifetimes in one year and done what I never thought I'd do. I have gathered important and necessary life experiences and became a far better man.
We both have many sunrises left. Life is there to be enjoyed. It is always available for you providing you're still breathing.
If life isn't truly HELL, it is important to be grateful. Very grateful.
We have a similar background, and similar challenges, and I have been through the exact same process you're going through now. I can reassure you that you will be OK bro. Your age will not be a factor. You will enjoy your life 4 x. I think of some of the memories I made this year, from losing my virginity, to getting a lay with a legit hot girl one time, to the endless approaches, dates, trips with the bros. The memories will last a lifetime.
And there is much success to come.
It's a journey man. If you wanna talk PM me, I also use Telegram if you're on there.
There is no obligation to stay in one location. Try several. I did that and settled in SW London.
MAC
-Your friend, Ravi
Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential
My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential
My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
- Lieutenant Lucid
- Posts: 20 | Thanks: 17
- Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2022 5:38 pm
- Goal: Self-optimization
- Age: 34
- Motto: Give meaning to your suffering.
Yeah definitely not planning to stay in a small town. My only hang up with large cities is that it's harder to find nature-dominated areas but it's not a major thingManganiello wrote: βSun Sep 18, 2022 1:01 amI mean guys in game seem to congregate to big cities or cities that have a good nightlife (Austin/Nashville).
Or you could just switch continents haha...
But honestly I wouldn't bother taking on your dating life in a small city.
For social life and dating, go to big cities. You can set up a successful social/sex life in smaller cities, but you do run into a ceiling.
i guess when you have no ties anywhere most large cities are similar to each other. i have always wanted to go to Europe. this might be a good time to do that
- Lieutenant Lucid
- Posts: 20 | Thanks: 17
- Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2022 5:38 pm
- Goal: Self-optimization
- Age: 34
- Motto: Give meaning to your suffering.
thanks for putting it this way, i seriously needed to hear that. I've been pretty depressed about my situation and all the time I've been forced to waste while I recover. knowing that someone in a similar position has made it out of this alive and thriving is very comforting. I'm looking forward to getting startedMakingAComeback wrote: βSun Sep 18, 2022 10:16 amMoved out from my parents at 30 after years of battle with health.Lieutenant Lucid wrote: βSat Sep 17, 2022 11:42 pm@MakingAComeback thanks man, good to know I'm not the only one who's faced this issue. ngl, given my age it's pretty daunting
Came here Nov 2022. Went all in.
I have lived multiple lifetimes in one year and done what I never thought I'd do. I have gathered important and necessary life experiences and became a far better man.
We both have many sunrises left. Life is there to be enjoyed. It is always available for you providing you're still breathing.
If life isn't truly HELL, it is important to be grateful. Very grateful.
We have a similar background, and similar challenges, and I have been through the exact same process you're going through now. I can reassure you that you will be OK bro. Your age will not be a factor. You will enjoy your life 4 x. I think of some of the memories I made this year, from losing my virginity, to getting a lay with a legit hot girl one time, to the endless approaches, dates, trips with the bros. The memories will last a lifetime.
And there is much success to come.
It's a journey man. If you wanna talk PM me, I also use Telegram if you're on there.
There is no obligation to stay in one location. Try several. I did that and settled in SW London.
MAC
- Astronaut
- Posts: 43 | Thanks: 20
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- Motto: Action cures fear
I'm with Mac here - you need to test. You work remote, so you can do the digital nomad thing, travel around a bit, see different places.
Never been to US. I've got experience in Europe/Asia.
I've found that smaller places are easier on the community side, bigger cities have busy people, long distances/commutes, etc. but that's just my experience. It might be different for you.
If you're looking outside US, I would check out the following:
- South America, Medellin or something else, I know there's expat communities there (never been myself, but it's the closest to you)
- Las Palmas de Gran Canaria. Great place, summer all year round, still Europe so civilization, easier with women and becoming a part of the community
- Cheaper EU countries, although keep in mind there's winter coming soon
- Thailand (Chiang Mai), Vietnam (Da Nang or Hanoi/Saigon if you're into bigger cities but beware they're concrete jungles), Bali
Anyway you're in a good position to prep your shit and explore the world a little bit. I'm the same as you - nothing keeping me in one place - so I figured I might as well live in a sunny place that has no winter. Let me know if you need any more specifics on that I'm personally not a huge fan of SE Asia, but lots of Americans love it there
Never been to US. I've got experience in Europe/Asia.
I've found that smaller places are easier on the community side, bigger cities have busy people, long distances/commutes, etc. but that's just my experience. It might be different for you.
If you're looking outside US, I would check out the following:
- South America, Medellin or something else, I know there's expat communities there (never been myself, but it's the closest to you)
- Las Palmas de Gran Canaria. Great place, summer all year round, still Europe so civilization, easier with women and becoming a part of the community
- Cheaper EU countries, although keep in mind there's winter coming soon
- Thailand (Chiang Mai), Vietnam (Da Nang or Hanoi/Saigon if you're into bigger cities but beware they're concrete jungles), Bali
Anyway you're in a good position to prep your shit and explore the world a little bit. I'm the same as you - nothing keeping me in one place - so I figured I might as well live in a sunny place that has no winter. Let me know if you need any more specifics on that I'm personally not a huge fan of SE Asia, but lots of Americans love it there
- Svadhishthana
- Posts: 341 | Thanks: 292
- Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
- Goal: Be Free
- Age: 30
- Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain
If you want a decent city + outdoor access, head west young man. I can't think of many cities in the east like that. Maybe Chatt (small) or Atlanta (traffic, not that great).
But in the west there are some decent options. Denver/Boulder, SLC, ABQ, Phoenix, Flag, Boise, Bend, Portland, Seattle, etc. They all have their benefits and detriments, but worth checking out.
But in the west there are some decent options. Denver/Boulder, SLC, ABQ, Phoenix, Flag, Boise, Bend, Portland, Seattle, etc. They all have their benefits and detriments, but worth checking out.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
- colgate
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ok it's time for colgate to squeeze out some of his paste and brush the forums clean
can you start a progress log and try to write your story and list out some goals and put this question in the log. as pancakemouse said, it's too vague and we hardly know anything about you because it's not tied to a personal progress log we can look at.
i'm currently in nashville and if you want nature, within a few hours drive out and you can go to many hiking spots in tennessee. but it has a vibrant nightlife, people are flooding to this city, and the vibe is chill af.
chattanooga def is even closer to all the nature shit, but unless you want your social circle to be doing coke in a beat up volkswagen golf after smoking 9 cigarettes in a pool hall i'd look elsewhere
can you start a progress log and try to write your story and list out some goals and put this question in the log. as pancakemouse said, it's too vague and we hardly know anything about you because it's not tied to a personal progress log we can look at.
second-tier american cities would be your best bet.LieutenantLucid wrote: βSun Sep 18, 2022 10:16 amMy only hang up with large cities is that it's harder to find nature-dominated areas but it's not a major thing
i'm currently in nashville and if you want nature, within a few hours drive out and you can go to many hiking spots in tennessee. but it has a vibrant nightlife, people are flooding to this city, and the vibe is chill af.
lmfao i can't believe someone recommended chattanooga
chattanooga def is even closer to all the nature shit, but unless you want your social circle to be doing coke in a beat up volkswagen golf after smoking 9 cigarettes in a pool hall i'd look elsewhere
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- MakingAComeback
- Posts: 4253 | Thanks: 4959
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Anytime bro.Lieutenant Lucid wrote: βSun Sep 18, 2022 10:32 pmthanks for putting it this way, i seriously needed to hear that. I've been pretty depressed about my situation and all the time I've been forced to waste while I recover. knowing that someone in a similar position has made it out of this alive and thriving is very comforting. I'm looking forward to getting startedMakingAComeback wrote: βSun Sep 18, 2022 10:16 am
Moved out from my parents at 30 after years of battle with health.
Came here Nov 2022. Went all in.
I have lived multiple lifetimes in one year and done what I never thought I'd do. I have gathered important and necessary life experiences and became a far better man.
We both have many sunrises left. Life is there to be enjoyed. It is always available for you providing you're still breathing.
If life isn't truly HELL, it is important to be grateful. Very grateful.
We have a similar background, and similar challenges, and I have been through the exact same process you're going through now. I can reassure you that you will be OK bro. Your age will not be a factor. You will enjoy your life 4 x. I think of some of the memories I made this year, from losing my virginity, to getting a lay with a legit hot girl one time, to the endless approaches, dates, trips with the bros. The memories will last a lifetime.
And there is much success to come.
It's a journey man. If you wanna talk PM me, I also use Telegram if you're on there.
There is no obligation to stay in one location. Try several. I did that and settled in SW London.
MAC
Look man, been here. Was in my house from 24-27 just trying to function as a human being. 26-28 working hard AF to make up for lost time and trying to heal. 29, it was time to make a comeback, hence the username. I have lived it. You will too.
Healing is intensely personal but I do not believe it needs to be something you have to wait by the sidelines over. The approach I took was, and yes we've both done huge research and been through a lot of process: I need to find a way to heal and build strength in integrity in my entire system. I need to learn how to revitalise it all and build myself up into something greater than I am. I am broken, but when I fix myself, I will build myself again, and this time, I will be unbreakable, a man of iron.
It's looking like I'm going to do it man. It took time, yes, but as soon as I found what actually creates capacity and wellness in human beings, the enemy (health problems) was finally put on the backfoot and my survival instinct kicked in, I showed it no mercy and destroyed it in battle. I am now free. You will be too.
NOT PREACHING: Just wanna share brother, and offer you thoughts. Just an offering, not coaching, and not advice......
In ketotsis we have 4 x the ATP available. When we're healing, this is deeply valuable and the clarity and brain function it provides helps us sort out life out a lot. Autophagy from sensible fasting is crucial for cleaning up the toxins that accumulate in the sick body. And seeing the sunrise, sunset, exercising and getting lots of light support our cells in finding harmony again and creating overall systemic wellness. Easier said than done, yes, but once you start feeling better and functioning at a higher level, you have autonomy, control, and the capacity to do what you want in your life.
That is what healing can do for you, once you have a sensible approach nailed down, which you do no doubt do. I would still be remiss to not mention circadian principles as they are free, require little effort to apply, and are so deeply healing.
Reverse engineer the case studies of people who deeply healed and you'll find common threads. I did this with many stories, and by the time I found my own mentors and teachers, I was ready to go for the kill.
I appreciate you went down the functional medicine route. The forum I use which is often a place where people end up when nothing else has worked is literally filled with people who spent ungodly sums of money on functional testing, only to find the answers were actually free: see the sunrise, see the sunset, 100oz of water, electrolytes, cold thermogenesis, consume DHA daily, ketosis, and exercise. Light, Water and Magnetism is nature's law.
You will get there dude. If you ever wanna talk, I'm here, and will listen. And look bro, I was more than depressed about my old life. Watch my interviews with Andy. I had a mental breakdown a few months before my 30th of birthday and vomitted in public he middle of the working day. Went home and just had a mental breakdown as I was a virgin who'd never been on a date and was turning 30. Came here, started a log, worked my butt off, and I will somehow find love and start a family dude and put all this pain behind me.
Ravi
-Your friend, Ravi
Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential
My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential
My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
- Lieutenant Lucid
- Posts: 20 | Thanks: 17
- Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2022 5:38 pm
- Goal: Self-optimization
- Age: 34
- Motto: Give meaning to your suffering.
@MakingAComeback This is how I'm approaching it. Non-linear healing is a bitch but the silver lining of it is the few good days you have, you get a glimpse of all the untapped potential you have when you're not weighed down by your symptoms. I've had maybe less than 10 days like that in the last 7 years, but those are the days that have kept me from giving up. I can't wait to see what version of myself I become nextI need to learn how to revitalise it all and build myself up into something greater than I am. I am broken, but when I fix myself, I will build myself again, and this time, I will be unbreakable, a man of iron.
Have you really only been at this for 1-2 years? That's a ton of progress man. Your level of motivation is inspiring. I used to be the same way before the worst of this hit me, and I'm looking forward to getting back to it.And look bro, I was more than depressed about my old life. Watch my interviews with Andy. I had a mental breakdown a few months before my 30th of birthday and vomitted in public he middle of the working day. Went home and just had a mental breakdown as I was a virgin who'd never been on a date and was turning 30. Came here, started a log, worked my butt off, and I will somehow find love and start a family dude and put all this pain behind me.
Honestly just hearing this from someone really helps. I go through every day with a voice in the back of my head saying "what if this is as good as it gets?". I'm sure once I'm well enough to work on my goals beyond health I won't feel so hung up about my age. But I genuinely appreciate your supportYou will get there dude. If you ever wanna talk, I'm here, and will listen.
I'll also look into the circadian, keto, thermogenesis, etc. stuff you mentioned