My FWB is getting with one of my best friends.

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Sin Silver
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Sun May 22, 2022 12:53 am

It’ 1:40 local time, and I’m an emotional drained because my FWB is getting with one of my close friends. Apologies if this vent post is poorly written, and I’m just trying to put my feelings into text

One of my close friends invited me to come stay over with him at his holiday home this weekend. I decided to bring one of my FWB along, as she’s seemed like the sort of person who would enjoy this sort of party, plus we talked about arranging some time for sex whilst we were here.

Unexpectedly, they have gone and got with my friend, which has resulted in me feeling really awkward all week, and and emotional drained.

I’ve been dumped and turned down by girls many times, but nothing has hurt this hard in the last decade.

Having someone who I was expecting physical intimacy with go and get with my friend has really hit my hit my ego hard.

I’ll probably be okay later, but right now, it is really hurting.
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Jacobpalmer123
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Sun May 22, 2022 1:33 am

Some friend. Well at least she was a fwb and not a gf that would be worse.

The homie hoppers strike again. Honestly it speaks more to their character. Personally I wouldn't do that, but a guy who chooses pussy over his friend really isn't your friend. I remember I made out with some girl and she hit on my buddy and he was like "you literally just made out with my friend."

If a girl did that I would almost be happy to end it right there, but I get that you still have feelings for her and your buddy so yeah its rough.

Hope you get better. Just one of many of lifes unfortunate situations.
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Mark
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Sun May 22, 2022 1:39 am

I personally would feel very disrespected by both of them, and would not associate with them further. Your call though
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Squilliam
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Sun May 22, 2022 2:01 am

Yeah I agree with Mark and Jacob. I would never disrespect a bro like that.
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Jesseetc
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Tue Jun 14, 2022 4:14 am

Take stock of the situation and how you feel. This seems like it was a dick move on her part, but I doubt she was like “I want to hurt Sin’s feelings today”, so talk to her and ask her what she thinks you were feeling/thinking at the time. From there you can decide what to do. If she’s like “I honestly didn’t think you’d care that much” and feels bad about hurting you, then there’s a reality where you or both of you are fucking this girl on a regular basis.

Talk to your friend too and evaluate the friendship because like, if he didn’t at least check in with you before proceeding, that’s an issue and a boundary you need to set.

If you are looking to hook up and have FWBs, this can happen, and if you’re keeping your options open, then she can too. I’d ask myself honestly how much I truly care and how much I think I should care because I want to be Mr. Alpha.

A lot of this might be your own ego and insecurity that you should be working on anyways. And if it really isn’t, it sounds like you want a relationship and not a FWB.
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Vamos
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Fri Jun 17, 2022 12:19 pm

They made you a cuck tbh. I would remove them both from my life, maybe in a harsh way. Nothing else would be an option for me.
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Brother_Tucker
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Thu Jul 21, 2022 2:23 pm

Sin Silver wrote:
Sun May 22, 2022 12:53 am
It’ 1:40 local time, and I’m an emotional drained because my FWB is getting with one of my close friends. Apologies if this vent post is poorly written, and I’m just trying to put my feelings into text

One of my close friends invited me to come stay over with him at his holiday home this weekend. I decided to bring one of my FWB along, as she’s seemed like the sort of person who would enjoy this sort of party, plus we talked about arranging some time for sex whilst we were here.

Unexpectedly, they have gone and got with my friend, which has resulted in me feeling really awkward all week, and and emotional drained.

I’ve been dumped and turned down by girls many times, but nothing has hurt this hard in the last decade.

Having someone who I was expecting physical intimacy with go and get with my friend has really hit my hit my ego hard.

I’ll probably be okay later, but right now, it is really hurting.
OK so here were your mistakes: -

1. You promoted this girl way too fast and were expecting more exclusivity as a result. This is a covert contract and you were hurt because its been broken.
2. You rewarded your FWB a trip that without further context, probably didn't deserve it and didn't appreciate it the way you thought she would.
3. You were friends with a thirsty dude who has just revealed that they would in fact let you die in a ditch if it meant they could get a single crumb of pussy.
4. As soon as you found out you should have just left them both there, and went home. (it's unclear if this is what happened).

These are all learning points for you as you date in the future. All of the above was in your control and can be mitigated in the future. Things like this will happen, the important take-a-ways are what could I have done differently? Ultimately that guy wasn't your friend and that girl should be fully demoted to sex only contact with no chance of future promotion if you wanted to keep her around or a complete cut off.

Try not to dwell on it too hard, just take what you can from the learning experience and the next time you will be slightly better prepared for the situation or better yet will be able to avoid it entirely.
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