"Let's keep in touch"

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Lema
Posts: 18 | Thanks: 6
Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2021 4:46 am
Goal: Get laid, get ripped.
Age: 35
Motto: wish I was gay
Location: Brazil

Mon Dec 13, 2021 3:28 pm

So, I've hooked up with a few girls this last month and there's this one pattern that is boggling me: The nonchalant "let's keep in touch" after I explicity say "we should do this again/We should meet again/Wanna do this again?".
I tend to see this as the girl did not enjoy her time, that was definetely the case before( I sucked in bed and it was very clear to me they didn't enjoy).
But now I'm not sure. To be specific, a few girls replied like this and I believe we had a good time, but sure, I might be wrong.
But these 2 specific girls, I know we had a great fucking time, pun intended. One came to my place in the afternoon saying she could only be a couple of hours with me cuz she had a dinner or something with her parents, ended up staying for 7 hours, came at least 3 times and "flaked" on her parents. The other girl literally came 7 times( she said 6 before I ate her out for 1 more, and she couldn't be lying cuz she's a squirter), and 5 min after going back to her place she sends a msg saying she had a great time and all.
I told this to a very open minded girl I saw just a couple of days ago, and she said It might be because of my bio pointing out "I'm not looking into anything serious at the moment", so the girls I'm attracting are the ones who really just want a one time thing, which I think makes sense. But just like Andy and a lot of guys here, I don't really dig one time sex.

Sorry for the long rant. Any thoughts?
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pancakemouse
Posts: 311 | Thanks: 112
Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2021 4:14 pm
Goal: Master cold approach
Age: 31

Mon Dec 13, 2021 3:49 pm

The default state of a woman is to ghost. When a woman does not ghost, you should consider it a miracle.

So, in many cases, there is essentially nothing you can do about this, if you're aiming for first date lays.
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SpongeBob
Posts: 69 | Thanks: 49
Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2021 7:53 pm
Goal: Build a fulfilling life
Age: 30

Mon Dec 13, 2021 4:03 pm

I think Andy talked about screening with a "not looking for anything serious but something ongoing" kind of message or in your bio. Don't remember exactly which article it's from though.

Might be worth trying to say this upfront and see what's up
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Lema
Posts: 18 | Thanks: 6
Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2021 4:46 am
Goal: Get laid, get ripped.
Age: 35
Motto: wish I was gay
Location: Brazil

Mon Dec 13, 2021 4:19 pm

SpongeBob wrote:
Mon Dec 13, 2021 4:03 pm
I think Andy talked about screening with a "not looking for anything serious but something ongoing" kind of message or in your bio. Don't remember exactly which article it's from though.

Might be worth trying to say this upfront and see what's up
Oh, this is great, I'll try to find it. To be fair my bio reads "Not looking for anything serious at the start, just enjoying the moment. If something else happens, great.", kinda hinting to the fact I'm down to something more than a hookup, but it might be too subtle, dunno. Ty
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Ed_
Posts: 86 | Thanks: 167
Joined: Thu Jul 02, 2020 1:08 am
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 33
Location: TX

Mon Dec 13, 2021 5:26 pm

Lema wrote:
Mon Dec 13, 2021 3:28 pm
But these 2 specific girls, I know we had a great fucking time, pun intended. One came to my place in the afternoon saying she could only be a couple of hours with me cuz she had a dinner or something with her parents, ended up staying for 7 hours, came at least 3 times and "flaked" on her parents. The other girl literally came 7 times( she said 6 before I ate her out for 1 more, and she couldn't be lying cuz she's a squirter), and 5 min after going back to her place she sends a msg saying she had a great time and all.
This is a guarantee of nothing. Girls will flake for all sorts of reasons, regardless of how good of a time she had. Have you read Andy's Retention Guide?
Lema wrote:
Mon Dec 13, 2021 4:19 pm
my bio reads "Not looking for anything serious at the start, just enjoying the moment. If something else happens, great.", kinda hinting to the fact I'm down to something more than a hookup
I think that's too subtle. I would add something about "ongoing", "not looking for a one night stand", etc.
Current Goals:
✅ Lose virginity
✅ Have sex with the same girl a second time
✅ Move to a city with better dating options by the end of 2020
✅ Have sex with the same girl a third time
✅ Overcome AA
⚪ Get on TRT to fix issues with fatigue and sex drive
⚪ Have ongoing sex (fuck buddy) with a really hot girl (8.5+ / 10)
⚪ Get to 135 lbs with 10% bodyfat

My log and Tinder photos thread
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Faonin
Posts: 11 | Thanks: 3
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2021 2:10 am
Name: Anton
Goal: Get laid
Age: 22
Motto: Why retreat just to die another day

Tue Dec 14, 2021 3:18 am

SpongeBob wrote:
Mon Dec 13, 2021 4:03 pm
I think Andy talked about screening with a "not looking for anything serious but something ongoing" kind of message or in your bio. Don't remember exactly which article it's from though.

Might be worth trying to say this upfront and see what's up
Great advise, just updated my clipboard with this. Also found out I translated that message like a fucking retard. It is a fucking miracle I even got a number.
Dating life goals
Get laid
Start a FWB relationship
Go from approach to sex in one go
Get GF

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Get my own place
Finish university and get a job in IT security.

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Reach 12% bodyfat (current 14.0)
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Radical
Posts: 1560 | Thanks: 1031
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Name: Cam
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Age: 28
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Tue Dec 14, 2021 6:29 pm

So like @Ed_ said this is purely a retention question

For setting the scene on Tinder:
The 'Hey i'm looking for something casual but ongoing. If you are looking for the same thing drop me your number' approach can work. I stole that closing message off @MILFandCookies and it did well enough for me in Manchester

Actual retention after sex:
My basic retention advice is similar to Caleb Jones/Andy

- do what you need to to get to lock in - which is having sex with a girl on 2 separate occasions. After you've done that the drop off rate dramatically decreases, although still not 0 of course
- the sex has to be good which usually equates to both of you getting to cum. The girls that say 'i never cum' have been in my experience the most difficult to retain. I believe @KillYourInnerLoser actually screens those girls out now. What i didnt realise as important in the beginning was that you also cumming is important to most girls. I struggle with this wearing a condom at times.
- Caleb claims delaying sex til the 2nd date helps. In my limited experience of trying this (like a run of 10 girls) i did not see a difference in retention. To do this you also have to be ok with losing girls between 1st and 2nd dates who you would have been able to sleep with on the 1st had you pulled the trigger
- dont expect retention from hot party girls - my specific type that im trying to move away from lol
- Andy's retention guide covers the rest - have actual shit going on in your life that she can see, have a nice place etc

Hope this helps
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