I can attract women, but struggle to forming meaningful relationships.

Post Reply
User avatar
Sin Silver
Posts: 227 | Thanks: 109
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 9:03 pm
Name: Silver
Goal: Build a career
Age: 34
Motto: You're responsible for your own happiness
Location: UK

Sat Aug 13, 2022 12:18 pm

Ten years ago, I use to really struggle with women, I was a virgin, unfit, no style and had little to no social skills. That drive for sex and acceptance has been a massive motivator for my self-improvement, and I am really glad I did. Last year I had sex with five different women, including my first threesome.

I know five isn’t a lot compared to some people who live here, but it’s a lot to me, especially as I live rurally.
After some major self reflection and setting out some major goals at the start of this month, I realised that ‘more sex’ wasn’t one of them, but ‘build more meaningful relationships was.

Despite my sexual success with women in the past, I not actually good at forming relationships with them. I have only had three girls’ friends in the past, and I was never that enthusiastic about them.

I’ve been getting a lot of matches on bumble as well recently, but I find myself with a massive lack of enthusiasm.
There’s loads of good advice here on attracting and having sex with women, but very little on how to actually form meaningful relationships.

Does anyone have any tips or advice on how I can do this?
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Sat Aug 13, 2022 12:25 pm

Retention is a diff skillset bruh and totally learnable.
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
User avatar
Radical
Posts: 1726 | Thanks: 1439
Joined: Sat May 30, 2020 12:02 pm
Name: Cam
Goal: Funnel/Product Building
Age: 29
Motto: Take drastic action

Sat Aug 13, 2022 12:30 pm

Andy has just started a series of videos on relationships. If you have stopped watching or listening to his stuff now would be a good time to jump back in @Sin Silver
User avatar
Crisis_Overcomer
Posts: 1017 | Thanks: 720
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2020 7:25 pm
Goal: Earn $5,000/month
Age: 33
Motto: Motion beats meditation

Sat Aug 13, 2022 12:44 pm

Sin Silver wrote:
Sat Aug 13, 2022 12:18 pm
There’s loads of good advice here on attracting and having sex with women, but very little on how to actually form meaningful relationships.
"The skills that got you out of Egypt, won't take you to the promised land" - you need X skills to have sex with women and Y skills to retain them. So if you primarily focus on the getting laid skills, you'll struggle with retention.

Also, what do you consider a meaningful relationship? It's a generic term. You better flesh it out on a piece of paper before you go looking for it.
User avatar
Holden
Posts: 1620 | Thanks: 562
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2021 1:36 pm
Goal: Rotation
Age: 28

Sat Aug 13, 2022 12:50 pm

This post is a bit all over the place. You had 3 girlfriends, but weren't "enthusiastic" about them. What does this mean? If it's a girl-quality problem, you're actually better served with getting laid advice as opposed to relationship advice.

What does a "meaningful relationship" mean? Like @Crisis_Overcomer said. Monogamy? MLTR? One-way open relationship?

Do you have fuckbuddies? (Girls who come back twice or more) or do you get ONS'd?

Getting a girlfriend is actually really easy. Beta normies do it all the time.

The challenge is doing it while living the player lifestyle, getting laid a lot, and keeping them around while you see other chicks.

Also, find my posts in @Manganiello's log, I think I talked about my MLTR ventures quite a lot there.
Laycount: 100

My Log

Primary goal:
- Rotation of three girls (DONE)
- Regular threesomes (DONE)
- A foursome
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Sat Aug 13, 2022 1:21 pm

Sin Silver: you have a log, yes?

This is just a sticking point. You can make this the focus for your log, and show us how you're working on it

This will lead to success.

It's my preference to see people post questions like this IN THEIR LOG, and perhaps change the title of the first post so people know you're seeking advice.

If anyone wants success, they must be logging and must be asking for help and support.

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
User avatar
TheGreatTurk
Posts: 53 | Thanks: 26
Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2021 11:36 am
Goal: Getting quality pussy
Age: 33

Sat Oct 29, 2022 6:48 pm

Sin Silver wrote:
Sat Aug 13, 2022 12:18 pm
Ten years ago, I use to really struggle with women, I was a virgin, unfit, no style and had little to no social skills. That drive for sex and acceptance has been a massive motivator for my self-improvement, and I am really glad I did. Last year I had sex with five different women, including my first threesome.

I know five isn’t a lot compared to some people who live here, but it’s a lot to me, especially as I live rurally.
After some major self reflection and setting out some major goals at the start of this month, I realised that ‘more sex’ wasn’t one of them, but ‘build more meaningful relationships was.

Despite my sexual success with women in the past, I not actually good at forming relationships with them. I have only had three girls’ friends in the past, and I was never that enthusiastic about them.

I’ve been getting a lot of matches on bumble as well recently, but I find myself with a massive lack of enthusiasm.
There’s loads of good advice here on attracting and having sex with women, but very little on how to actually form meaningful relationships.

Does anyone have any tips or advice on how I can do this?
I have the exact same problem, almost the same story as well.

Have you tried reading Mark Manson?
User avatar
GettinItAll
Posts: 111 | Thanks: 15
Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2020 10:08 pm
Goal: Monk Mode
Age: 21

Sat Oct 29, 2022 8:49 pm

Sin Silver wrote:
Sat Aug 13, 2022 12:18 pm
Ten years ago, I use to really struggle with women, I was a virgin, unfit, no style and had little to no social skills. That drive for sex and acceptance has been a massive motivator for my self-improvement, and I am really glad I did. Last year I had sex with five different women, including my first threesome.

I know five isn’t a lot compared to some people who live here, but it’s a lot to me, especially as I live rurally.
After some major self reflection and setting out some major goals at the start of this month, I realised that ‘more sex’ wasn’t one of them, but ‘build more meaningful relationships was.

Despite my sexual success with women in the past, I not actually good at forming relationships with them. I have only had three girls’ friends in the past, and I was never that enthusiastic about them.

I’ve been getting a lot of matches on bumble as well recently, but I find myself with a massive lack of enthusiasm.
There’s loads of good advice here on attracting and having sex with women, but very little on how to actually form meaningful relationships.

Does anyone have any tips or advice on how I can do this?
Just out of curiosity, how much do you have in common with the women you go on dates with? I've noticed the biggest factor for my retention was how much I have in common with a girl. Whenever I am with girls I don't share many similar interests there is no spark.

Even with my guy friends, I've noticed the same thing...
Goals:
- get a great full time job in venture capital
- succesful LGD cycle
- get 5 8+/10 girls on rotation through dating apps [0/5]
User avatar
TheGreatTurk
Posts: 53 | Thanks: 26
Joined: Thu Apr 08, 2021 11:36 am
Goal: Getting quality pussy
Age: 33

Sun Oct 30, 2022 6:43 am

KillYourInnerLoser wrote:
Sat Oct 29, 2022 8:33 pm
TheGreatTurk wrote:
Sat Oct 29, 2022 6:48 pm
There’s loads of good advice here on attracting and having sex with women, but very little on how to actually form meaningful relationships.
lol this was not my comment, I was quoting the thread owner's comment. No idea, why forum attributes this to me. :)
User avatar
HomelessBob
Posts: 85 | Thanks: 15
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2021 6:19 pm
Goal: Build a business
Age: 32
Motto: Set goals, study up, perfect systems

Sun Oct 30, 2022 5:34 pm

I think all of Andy's stuff is great. I would add a crash course from my own experience (your milage may vary):

Read Way of the Superior man

Read How to make friends and influence people

Now understand you'll get dumped usually for 1 of 4 reasons:

-You showed too many unnattractive behaviors vs the competition, This community is good at fixing that.

-She was getting bored. Have a fun life, take her along for the ride. SO MANY tinder profiles will say something like "Show me how to have a fun life" or "Want someone to give me a fun life". They've seen all this shit on instagram and they aren't having the same fun they percieve everyone else is having. Personally I just shoot for 1 new thing every week. I've been seeing people for YEARS by just cooking something new with them each week, going to a new bar each week, or playing a new card game/couch co-op game with them. Depending on interests. Openly non monogamously.

-She wasn't feeling special enough. Eh, this one is unavoidable eventually unless you girlfriend her up. It's complicated. She wants to know even if you're seeing other women, she's the most important one. I make sure they know when I'm with them I'm 100% focussed on them and them alone, and I care about them (and there is a difference between caring and full blown love).

-Random life shit you have no control over

YOU DON'T NEED THE SAME INTERESTS. It helps sure, but 90% of my dates with people I see for ages involve me asking questions about how thier week went to keep them sharing. That's it. Sharing big wins for the week like Andy's said before. I barely need to say anything, in fact I talk anywhere near as much as her the date goes badly lol. That's true of your first date, and your 1000th date.

You know that feeling when you do something awesome and you want to tell someone so they can go "Sweet!" and be impressed? All you gotta do is be that person for people.

Show up
Have fun (by doing something new or getting her to talk and laughing together)
Hook up (make sure she cums, every time, no excuses)
Goals:

1. Start 1-2 online businesses and go part time with my main gig

2. Get to being decent again at OLD

3. Get to being *chefs kiss* at tinder (with a 'lil coaching)
User avatar
pancakemouse
Posts: 1768 | Thanks: 1052
Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2021 4:14 pm
Goal: Master cold approach
Age: 33

Mon Oct 31, 2022 4:26 am

KillYourInnerLoser wrote:
Sun Oct 30, 2022 9:06 pm
TheGreatTurk wrote:
Sun Oct 30, 2022 6:43 am
lol this was not my comment, I was quoting the thread owner's comment. No idea, why forum attributes this to me.
Yeah, quotes don't always work perfectly on here. If anyone wants to take a look at the source code and figure out what's going wrong and fix it, they're welcome to shoot me a PM
I would love to have this fixed, it annoys me often. @colgate @september or any other code-cels feel like doing some forum community service?
Post Reply