A New Approach Anxiety (AA) Program?

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KillYourInnerLoser
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Wed Nov 24, 2021 10:02 pm

Thinking of writing a new AA program, with your guys' help. I feel the old one is brilliant (changed my life) but way too long - you really don't need 46 days of drills in order to hit on girls. If I wrote an AA program, the purpose of it would be to get you able to START hitting on girls - NOT to completely destroy absolutely all of your approach anxiety. I feel you're better off overcoming your AA by actually hitting on girls - the AA program would be a mini-bridge to get you to the point you can start.

Right now I'm not making any promises I'll actually do this - I'm making this post to see if there's interest.

For those of you who completed the AA program, what would you change about t?
What could be done better to really help other guys be able to hit on chicks?
What do you wish the program had, when you were doing it?

For those of you who are in the middle of it - what one or two things would make this process way easier for you?

For those of you who haven't started the AA program - what do you wish for the most?
What goals do you have with your approach anxiety? To completely destroy ALL of it? Or just to be able to talk to some cuties and start going on dates and get laid?


Again, no promises at this stage. But if this is something you guys are REALLY excited about, and if there's a lot of interest, I may go ahead and do it.

I would also make it a collaborative effort - you guys would be giving your input and helping shape the program around your needs and fixing some of the flaws with the original program.

-Andy
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MakingAComeback
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Wed Nov 24, 2021 10:18 pm

YEEEEEEEEEEE

I approach 5 x a week and have a weird form of AA where I'm not nervous and can chat to people easy, but have a massive block around approaching. Like, insane shit. I've written a lot about it. These guys know, lol.

A great dude from a group advised me to do 30 approaches 5 x a week to fix my shit. I am embarking on this.

Happy to support the development of a new AA program for sure.........though I am kinda in the middle of going through my own 'AA program' so to speak

MAC
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KillYourInnerLoser
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Thu Nov 25, 2021 8:19 pm

Seems like there's very little interest? If so, all good - that just means you guys are happy with Chris' current program.
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Thu Nov 25, 2021 9:06 pm

KillYourInnerLoser wrote:
Wed Nov 24, 2021 10:02 pm
Thinking of writing a new AA program, with your guys' help. I feel the old one is brilliant (changed my life) but way too long - you really don't need 46 days of drills in order to hit on girls. If I wrote an AA program, the purpose of it would be to get you able to START hitting on girls - NOT to completely destroy absolutely all of your approach anxiety. I feel you're better off overcoming your AA by actually hitting on girls - the AA program would be a mini-bridge to get you to the point you can start.

Right now I'm not making any promises I'll actually do this - I'm making this post to see if there's interest.

For those of you who completed the AA program, what would you change about t?
What could be done better to really help other guys be able to hit on chicks?
What do you wish the program had, when you were doing it?

For those of you who are in the middle of it - what one or two things would make this process way easier for you?

For those of you who haven't started the AA program - what do you wish for the most?
What goals do you have with your approach anxiety? To completely destroy ALL of it? Or just to be able to talk to some cuties and start going on dates and get laid?


Again, no promises at this stage. But if this is something you guys are REALLY excited about, and if there's a lot of interest, I may go ahead and do it.

I would also make it a collaborative effort - you guys would be giving your input and helping shape the program around your needs and fixing some of the flaws with the original program.

-Andy
Fuck yeah man!!! I've built up AA and lost social freedom since I haven't regularly hit on girls in a while - I could def. figure it out myself but having a guide to follow would be suuuper helpful.

I got over my AA at first doing my own shit, and just confronting my fears on my own. A year later I used Simple Pickup's Simple 30 program - I already had a shit ton of social freedom it was mostly for fun. Been with maybe 50 girls from cold approach. I don't know it's just an estimate.

What I'd love in a program:

1) Something I can do in a busy schedule. 30 min. max per day.
2) Flexibility. I liked what Simple 30 did - a main goal, but then a stretch goal. E.g. one day was something like "Hit on 10 girls, having no more than 30 seconds in between them or you have to start over STRETCH GOAL - no more than 20 seconds in between girls"
3) Focus on showing attraction. Verbally and non-verbally. Maybe one day "call a girl sexy" and maybe another day "say nothing about being attracted but communicate it with touch and eyes. You've succeeded when you can tell a girl knows you want to fuck her cause she giggles or tells you she has a boyfriend unprompted"

I hope you choose to make it man! You'd help tons of guys with it.
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colgate
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Fri Nov 26, 2021 12:12 am

MILFandCookies wrote:
Thu Nov 25, 2021 9:06 pm
that just means you guys are happy with Chris' current program.
I'm still a beginner with approach but I got over AA by getting to like only day 6 of the AA program and realizing I didn't give a fuck about the time, I just wanted to go up to these girls and call them cute.
Took me a couple sessions that were 4-8 hours of talking to zero girls but every time I couldn't talk to a girl, I asked myself why I didn't talk to her. I just kept drilling down and asking questions to myself about why I didn't go up to her until I confronted my deepest issues at rock bottom. The main ones I had personally were feelings of being useless in the world, not having the right to exist, and not having control of my life. This was probably collectively ~15 hours of inner work. You can read my logs from 3 months ago for more details. Once I realized that's what I thought deep down about myself, I was able to confront them. Then I just bubbled up to the standard non-approach excuses like "she walked in the wrong way" and got over those.
Some people may require more time, some people require less but this was just how long it took me to actually start going up to random girls and hitting on them.
I basically used these 0 approach sessions as "self-therapy". Andy's "Just go to the front lines" podcast really pushed me to do this in the first place.
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colgate
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Fri Nov 26, 2021 12:38 am

Also @KillYourInnerLoser I've also realized that people may say things (e.g. yes! let's have a new AA program) and then you write it and no one really does it.
Conversely, you may find "no interest" when proposing an idea, but once it's actually out there and materialized, people may start using it. (generalized form of: https://mikemehlman.net/2021/07/03/beha ... ering-bsu/)
If you really think you can write a shorter AA program that's better or at least an alternative to the GLL program, I'd suggest you do it anyway and get feedback. If you think it's worth your time that is.
Probably many people active on the forums don't have crippling AA anymore, but many guys who just read your website definitely do and that cohort is far larger than the forums.
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Fri Nov 26, 2021 5:00 am

I'd actually be against another AA program unless there was a half year, massive fuck ton of effort put into building it.

AA program has a special place in my heart.
My stance is that people aren't doing the AA program cuz of lack of motivation. It's not cuz of length. People don't do the AAP because they're not serious enough to commit to it.

Youve heard this a billion times @KillYourInnerLoser.

"It's too long!"
"I don't have time each day to do it!"
"I've got a full time job!"
"It's cold and wet outside!"

The problem isn't the length it's that nobody's willing to do it.

People who want to approach, but don't want to go through the program end up just approaching.
See @goldfish, @colgate, @SamJ_. No exp was req for these Mofos.


If I was rewriting the AA program the very first thing I would do is make it longer. Not shorter.

I'd make it get over AA in 4 weeks,
Then conversational anxiety in 2 weeks
Then outcome anxiety in 2
Then escalation and sexual anxiety in 5 weeks.

Etc... More content and timelines longer.

My biggest gripe with the AAP is that it makes you good at just opening girls but pretty much unprepared for having an extended convo and asking for the number.

So I would make it longer.


If people want a short and quick win to make it feel like they did something... And if you want an Approach Anxiety program attached to your brand. I guess it can't be stopped. But imo a high quality approach anxiety program that changes somebody's life is gonna be fucking hard and it's gonna be fucking long.

Cuz one of the main benefits from the AA program isnt the ability to talk to girls, but it's that you literally finished a program that's almost impossible, and proven you can accomplish a fucking hard goal that no one else can.
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Fri Nov 26, 2021 8:07 am

@KillYourInnerLoser you could create a "master" article about approaching ("The Biggest Fucking Article On Obliterating Approach Anxiety And Getting Laid From Cold Approach On The Internet"?) Not sure if you have one. You could include Chris's program, your own articles/videos, the interviews with the guys, etc. I'd also include something about rejection being the only true constant, and that you need high volume (not 20/week like Chris used to suggest, but 20+ per day)
Manganiello wrote:
Fri Nov 26, 2021 5:00 am
If I was rewriting the AA program the very first thing I would do is make it longer. Not shorter.

I'd make it get over AA in 4 weeks,
Then conversational anxiety in 2 weeks
Then outcome anxiety in 2
Then escalation and sexual anxiety in 5 weeks.

Etc... More content and timelines longer.
That should be a paid product though.
Manganiello wrote:
Fri Nov 26, 2021 5:00 am
My biggest gripe with the AAP is that it makes you good at just opening girls but pretty much unprepared for having an extended convo and asking for the number.
That shouldn't be the case. Chris has content on basic guy game along with audios and videos (RIP) of him talking to girls. He doesn't follow a script, he just has a convo with girls. He even hear him stumbling a bit, following his "don't be smooth" mantra.

Also, do you want to have an extended convo even if a girl is non-receptive? No, in this case you just go for the #. Most girls won't be receptive, either way. If they are, I don't think you Brandon would have an issue with chatting.

Finally, I believe guys should wing their interactions, like Mehlman suggests. This will help them realize that in the grand scheme of things, if a girl likes you, it doesn't matter. Two quick examples:

* girl I dated on Sunday. I used a very bad swearing word during the approach. She got taken back a bit and I thought that she'd flake. She didn't (then I was a perfect gentleman on the date and she ghosted me 😂)

* girl I chatted at a bar. I was a bit drunk and blurted out "Go to hell!" when she told me she was younger than what I thought. She was annoyed and told me "You first!". Grabbed her # and hooked up the next day

And of course, lots of amazing, smooth, spectacular, chemistry-filled convos that led to 👻 or a cold attitude.
Manganiello wrote:
Fri Nov 26, 2021 5:00 am
Cuz one of the main benefits from the AA program isnt the ability to talk to girls, but it's that you literally finished a program that's almost impossible, and proven you can accomplish a fucking hard goal that no one else can.
1,000% agreed. GLL's AA program was the hardest program in the world. Finishing it gives you bragging rights. No point in dilluting it for people who are looking for excuses not to approach.

@colgate makes a good point: I'm still a beginner with approach but I got over AA by getting to like only day 6 of the AA program and realizing I didn't give a fuck about the time, I just wanted to go up to these girls and call them cute.

I couldn't go past week 2 the 3-4 times I tried the program. Then I just said "fuck this, I'll try to approach directly" and did. At my worst it took me 5+ hours to do one weak approach, but things improved from there.
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Long story short, the people who want to approach will find a way. Those who don't, will find excuses.

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KillYourInnerLoser
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Fri Nov 26, 2021 8:39 am

Lots to think about here. You guys all make really fucking solid points.

Agree with AA program being hard, and it makes you one of the rare few if you finish it. Big sense of accomplishment there.
Me writing an AA program wouldn't be to replace the old one - it'd be a SHORTER version for guys who just need a little push to get started (guys like Radical, Crisis, most of my coaching clients, etc). Guys who are right on the cusp of talking to girls, but they just need a couple weeks of drills to push them.

Appreciate all your feedback here guys. Really really really helpful and solid points. Will think about all this over the next few months.
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Fri Nov 26, 2021 9:06 am

May be a little unusual, but dropped out after about two weeks because I was done with asking girls where to buy a phone and shit and just wanted to start getting dates and lays off the very few girls I run into day-to-day.

Haven't had a problem hitting on the girls I run into since, I feel like a "bridge" guide for guys who just need permission and a rough idea of what to say would be *awesome*
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Fri Nov 26, 2021 10:04 am

So my experience for the record

I tried it in like 2014 when i was still at uni - made it past high 5s and got stuck at the alphabet drills

I have mad respect for anyone thats made it through the whole thing and that will never change for every newbie that makes it through

A few years later when I was with Andy for coaching we just brute forced it. I met him for a coaching session and within like an hr of meeting him I had done my first approach. Everything just spiralled from there.

Something shorter that doesnt promise to completely break your AA but does get you actually approaching girls is something that would be useful imo
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