The IronWill Project: Year 3 of MAC DADDY: Realising My Greatness (Moving On: Off To The Sun?!)

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
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Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Wed Jul 28, 2021 1:17 pm

On my break from work, booked a haircut for tomorrow, shooting another vid tonight, tomorrow will do some life admin and approach in a different city, Saturday going to a rave in London and visiting a Russian banya.
Sprezza wrote:
Wed Jul 28, 2021 11:55 am
As in, racking up 10s of thousands of approaches. Of those, maybe a small fraction will be receptive, and of those, an even smaller fraction will be women who are suitable for any form of genuine bond.
That's true bro! Definitely a numbers game out there. If you want more statistics on this, I read an amusing book on the topic from Aaron Clarey (funny Youtuber) :


To summarize, the chance for average Joe finding a suitable partner is 1 out of 100 girls you DATE and also have in mind that those girls need to want you as a suitable partner as well. So let's say you find 20 of these girls and 1 one of them wants to be with you. To get to that number we assume you do get 10 dates for every 100 girls you approach. To get that 1 suitable partner, you simply have to approach 1000 girls. To increase the chance of finding a suitable partner that wants you, you'll have to approach about 20000 girls throughout your lifetime. If we assume that you look good between 30-40, divide 20000 approaches by 10 years you have to basically approach 5.48 ~6 girls per DAY or 38 girls per WEEK.

These are the numbers you have to play with bro. However, bear in mind this is for average JOE. If you work on yourself in all areas, your rate of success increases but you still got to approach.
Thanks for this post bro, I know Aaron Clarey, he is funny as fuck and has had me howling in the past. However, he is too raw for me. I can't watch stuff like that, I avoid all content of that nature because I want to have children, it is so damn hard as it is without Aaron breaking down the economics of it all LOL. But seriously thanks for posting this was useful for me. Appreciate you.
Holden wrote:
Wed Jul 28, 2021 12:19 pm
Crisis_Overcomer wrote:
Wed Jul 28, 2021 7:47 am
But interesting and cool? Nah. I'd honestly want to hear a couple conversations young guys (less than 30) had with girls, that they considered cool. I bet they're confusing good energy with interesting.
Art girls who are into philosophy and literature. The last girl I fucked I had a great conversation with about music.

I also love discussing evolutionary psychology with girls and getting their perspective on it.
BREAKING NEWS: Attractive guy gets treated like a human being.

Just joking of-course Holden, thanks for sharing your thoughts buddy. You do you.
SamJ_ wrote:
Wed Jul 28, 2021 12:47 pm
MakingAComeback wrote:
Wed Jul 28, 2021 7:30 am


Good point.

No, I don't anymore. I did when I was working in the office, but at the start of the covid pandemic, I changed jobs and worked purely remotely. The platonic friendships I did have from my previous job just dwindled over time as they tend to.

I understand your point, I will be honest, I need to work on this. It's clearly not a useful attitude and won't serve me.

To be completely honest: I find it very difficult to feel much for women. I don't feel much physical attraction full stop, I remember I used to years ago, but that stopped at around 28/29. I actually remember the month, lol. It was weird. As far as they are as people, many of the women I have known in my life were exceptionally disappointing. It has been a long time since I met one example of a woman who seemed interesting and basically decent as a human. I'm sure they probably feel the same way towards me, and it's fair enough.

I will try not to engage with this attitude and let it burrow any deeper, it's a challenge I face, but I will get over it like I got over other things in life.

MAC
Well there definitely are women out there who are decent humans and have interesting personalities. Most of them in fact. Like I said, ranting about your negative opinion of all women ain't gonna help you. Physical attraction is a different thing entirely. I'm honestly not sure why you're so determined to approach tens of thousands of women trying to hit on them if you're barely physically attracted. For me lust is the main driving factor for approaching (the interesting convos come later). If you have very little physical attraction for women and you don't like them as people either, why do you spend practically every waking moment thinking about them and dedicating your life to them? I just don't get it. Also in some of your posts u literally call women goddesses who you're lucky just to speak to. Then next post you call em bitches and say you're better than all of them. You switch back and forth from having an inferiority complex to a superiority complex and neither are healthy. Sorry if this sounds rude, I just woke up and am typing on my phone so I'm prob being more blunt.
Yeah, there are, to clarify my point, I know they exist, but they are soooooooo fleeting. Many of the good ones are taken, what I have personally seen out there in the dating market is pretty terrible man. But that's me, my own pool, which frankly doesn't have anyone in it LOL!

Sure, see, we are at different stages in life. For me, it's very clear why: because I want to start a family. Unless you can have children without a woman, I don't have another choice. Can't adopt, that's not for me. Unless there is a technological breakthrough, will have to mass approach.

It's not rude, it's an excellent point and clearly true. My mind is pretty fucked Sam, have been through a lot of shit. I'm open about it. Never said I was anything other than a guy crawling up from the bottom. BTW, you can be as rude as you want - I respect your opinion and often you are able to offer very useful analysis. I am not offended by anyone Sam, grown ass man out here ;-)

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
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SamJ_
Posts: 485 | Thanks: 109
Joined: Wed Apr 14, 2021 11:14 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 25
Motto: Cant cross the sea by standing&staring @ the water

Wed Jul 28, 2021 1:49 pm

MakingAComeback wrote:
Wed Jul 28, 2021 1:17 pm

Yeah, there are, to clarify my point, I know they exist, but they are soooooooo fleeting. Many of the good ones are taken, what I have personally seen out there in the dating market is pretty terrible man. But that's me, my own pool, which frankly doesn't have anyone in it LOL!

Sure, see, we are at different stages in life. For me, it's very clear why: because I want to start a family. Unless you can have children without a woman, I don't have another choice. Can't adopt, that's not for me. Unless there is a technological breakthrough, will have to mass approach.

It's not rude, it's an excellent point and clearly true. My mind is pretty fucked Sam, have been through a lot of shit. I'm open about it. Never said I was anything other than a guy crawling up from the bottom. BTW, you can be as rude as you want - I respect your opinion and often you are able to offer very useful analysis. I am not offended by anyone Sam, grown ass man out here ;-)

MAC
Well, mine doesnt have anyone in it either lol. I just meant that in general there are plenty of women who are decent human beings. Which is why I suggested that you try meeting friends (male and female) who have common interests with you so you can start seeing women as people who you can actually connect with and care about and not just a means by which to have children.

We do definitely have different goals, but that's all good haha. At this stage in my life, I definitely DON'T want kids lol and my current attitude is that I don't care whether I ever have kids at all. It's possible that could change when I get older tho. But I really hope you succeed in everything you're looking for. And if you keep at this for as long as you say you're going to, it's almost guaranteed you will. The main thing is you gotta keep a positive attitude and have fun with it as much as you can.
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
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Wed Jul 28, 2021 4:29 pm

@SamJ_ True enough, gotta get back in an office environment working from home is killing me. Will move to London soon and take up some new hobbies. I will also start going out at night 1 or 2 times a week as it will give me the chance to meet more people, guys and girls.

Sure, it's your life man. I personally am the oldest in my family so watched many many little kids grow up and I frankly love them to pieces so want some of my own one day. I'll get it. Definitely will work on the negative thought process it is just so draining emotionally working hard as it is I don't need that shit

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
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Age: 32
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Thu Jul 29, 2021 12:30 am

THUR 29/07/201

ACTION POINTS

-Intermittent Fasting (DONE)
-Video Work: Shoot, Edit, Upload (DONE)
-Core (DONE)
-Movement & Stretching (DONE)
-Cold Approach (FAILED)
-Digital Marketing (FAILED, mild throat infection, knocked me out for 2 and a half hours, got up and had to work on my videos)

MY VIDEO FOR TODAY




Was getting on with things, getting stuff done, finished work, and then got destroyed for about 2 hours, have had a nagging sore throat and think it’s a bit of an upper repository tract infection. It’s not really fully taken on, it’s quite moderate and isn’t bothering me too much, but it has been draining me. I was cooking dinner and getting ready to go out and approach and just passed out in bed for two and half hours. Woke up with David Goggins playing on YouTube, as usual. I was like half asleep in a dream state and it was like I was in the studio with David. I was listening to him talk about how as a small child, like 5 years old, when his devil of a father would beat his mother almost to death (yes, he actually beat her brutally, multiple times per week, for YEARS) David would run to protect her and get the absolute fuck knocked out of him, over and over and over. Eventually he said it took his soul while he was still single-digit age. Something about being in that half asleep state made David’s story hit so much raw and deep than it normally does. Fuck man. He talked about how he had to teach himself to read and write, on his own, sat at a desk for fucking HOURS each day with nothing to help him other than the thought “I HAVE to get into the military”. This motherfucker tried SO hard man. I am trying hard, but I am not trying hard as David. He got to the point where his mind would keep trying and trying until no amount of studying was ever enough. I HAVE TO GET THERE.

He is a messenger for me, I truly believe that, there is a reason I am obsessed with him....When you are coming from my horrible background you need a hero, it's true.

This ship has gone seriously off course, and I have to get it back on track.

...In less defying the odds news, I ordered an Oura ring today lol.

Keep hammering,
MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
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Thu Jul 29, 2021 10:44 am

THUR 29/07/2021

ACTION POINTS

-Gym
-Core
-Movement & Stretching
-Intermittent Fasting
-Cold Approach
-Digital Marketing 3 hrs

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
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drz
Posts: 62 | Thanks: 44
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2021 8:10 pm
Goal: Improve cold approach
Age: 31
Location: UK

Thu Jul 29, 2021 5:11 pm

Hey man, great to see you're making progress, especially about the virginity-loss.

How is dating going?
My goals (next 4 years):
- fix the poor approach-to-date ratio
- get into a relationship (done, in one from March 2021)
- move to a detached house
- Find a way of perma-reducing anxiety when I'm out.


My log
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
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Thu Jul 29, 2021 7:39 pm

drz wrote:
Thu Jul 29, 2021 5:11 pm
Hey man, great to see you're making progress, especially about the virginity-loss.

How is dating going?
Thanks so much man. That was one hell of a day, lol. I saw a high class escort after some deliberation and it really, really helped me. I truly felt like I was the ugliest most invisible man on planet earth but she treated me in a way which I have never been treated before, it felt legit amazing.

The experience drove me to lose 25lbs, start online dating, and then cold approach. It helped me overcome a big and painful issue that was destroying me as a human and poisoning my life.

Dating is going great! By which, I am fucking trying my arse off, swiping and messaging daily, 2 boosts a day, and also cold approaching for 1 hour every day! I have had no matches, no responses, no one has been receptive in cold approach, BUT, look, I am TRYING and it means a lot to me to just be fighting for a better life. That is why dating is going great, yes the results are not there yet, but I am trying so hard man and of that I am proud :)

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
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Svadhishthana
Posts: 321 | Thanks: 280
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:28 pm
Goal: Be Free
Age: 30
Motto: Climb that goddamned mountain

Thu Jul 29, 2021 9:27 pm

MAC, it's good to see you're keeping your motivation up! But I'm concerned you might be burning the candle at both ends. This has happened to me in the past when I put a lot of effort into self improvement for dating. I had every hour of my day scheduled, every meal planned out. I would wake up to train early each morning, weigh myself, measure fat with calipers, go to work, crank shit out, listen to motivational podcasts on my commute, then train more, work on life-enhancing projects, fulfill social obligations, eat, check things off my checklist, and go to sleep. I had no happiness, no celebrations, no hope for the future. Just a todo list, and the knowledge that my only purpose in life was to check every damned box on that checklist every goddamned day. I named the emotional state was in - "grim" - the feeling of fully understanding your inevitable failure, but being committed to sticking it out anyway. I got lean and mean and knocked out some tough goals for me, but I noticed two things.

First, it was unsustainable. I don't remember what it was, but some hiccup came along in my life that just fucking threw me. And once I got thrown, it was impossible to get back on track. I just couldn't muster the willpower anymore to live such a regimented life.

Second, I became dull. Like, literally, I became an idiot. In social situations, I had nothing to talk about. I hadn't had any fun in months. I had no achievements of any note, since all my goals were long, arduous grinds. I'd lost all curiosity for anything outside my narrow interests. I'd just be standing there next to my friends, or people I just met - I liked them, I wanted to be friends with them, I wanted them to enjoy my company - but when I tried to think of something to say, there was simply nothing. Like grasping around an empty bucket, searching for something to grab, and feeling nothing there at all. I will never forget that feeling.

In athletics, there is a concept. Training makes you weaker. Recovery makes you stronger. If you are getting weaker instead of stronger, you are overtraining, which will lead to stagnant results at best and injury at worst. You must either improve your recovery, or reduce your workload. I think this idea might have some application here as well. What are you doing to emotionally recover from all this hard labor you are doing? Remember each time you start a self improvement task to be grateful to yourself - you are giving yourself a gift!

I also understand your feelings about women. I've felt the same things too, when I was extremely desperate. I would go from horny, to furious at women, to ashamed of myself for feeling that way, to hopelessly depressed. And of course, feeling depressed would make me want to lift my spirits, and I'd get horny again. I think it's a good thing for you to express those feelings to people who understand you, but I think it's also important that you recognize that they are just feelings, not facts.

I will also say that I have a lot of female friends who are extremely kind, caring, motivated, interesting, open-minded individuals. They all have anxiety, and would probably be confused and scared if a guy cold-approached them. Also, based on their ex's, none of them are into fat dudes.
Previous goals:
- Retire in early 2022 with combo index funds / real estate. (Complete, late)
- Get fit (hotter, more athletic, more injury-resistant). (Ill defined, but improved)
- Get laid at least one more time before 30th birthday (Complete).
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Fri Jul 30, 2021 7:34 am

Went to bed last night at 1030 and didn't post my evening check in, but I did check in with my accountability partner from the coaching group via WhatsApp.

Yesterday:

THUR 29/07/2021

ACTION POINTS

-Gym (DONE)
-Core (DONE)
-Movement & Stretching (DONE)
-Intermittent Fasting (DONE)
-Cold Approach (DONE, 1hr, 3 approaches)
-Digital Marketing 3 hrs (FAILED, 1 hr)

Got a haircut (skin fade), and had a full day at work. Played guitar. Good day overall.

Running Totals: Cold Approach
No of approaches: 13
Numbers: 0
Dates: 0
Intimate encounters: 0

Running Totals: Dating Apps
Matches: 2 (Several unmatched)
Responsive Matches: 0
Dates: 0
Intimate encounters: 0

Svadhishthana wrote:
Thu Jul 29, 2021 9:27 pm
MAC, it's good to see you're keeping your motivation up! But I'm concerned you might be burning the candle at both ends. This has happened to me in the past when I put a lot of effort into self improvement for dating. I had every hour of my day scheduled, every meal planned out. I would wake up to train early each morning, weigh myself, measure fat with calipers, go to work, crank shit out, listen to motivational podcasts on my commute, then train more, work on life-enhancing projects, fulfill social obligations, eat, check things off my checklist, and go to sleep. I had no happiness, no celebrations, no hope for the future. Just a todo list, and the knowledge that my only purpose in life was to check every damned box on that checklist every goddamned day. I named the emotional state was in - "grim" - the feeling of fully understanding your inevitable failure, but being committed to sticking it out anyway. I got lean and mean and knocked out some tough goals for me, but I noticed two things.

First, it was unsustainable. I don't remember what it was, but some hiccup came along in my life that just fucking threw me. And once I got thrown, it was impossible to get back on track. I just couldn't muster the willpower anymore to live such a regimented life.

Second, I became dull. Like, literally, I became an idiot. In social situations, I had nothing to talk about. I hadn't had any fun in months. I had no achievements of any note, since all my goals were long, arduous grinds. I'd lost all curiosity for anything outside my narrow interests. I'd just be standing there next to my friends, or people I just met - I liked them, I wanted to be friends with them, I wanted them to enjoy my company - but when I tried to think of something to say, there was simply nothing. Like grasping around an empty bucket, searching for something to grab, and feeling nothing there at all. I will never forget that feeling.

In athletics, there is a concept. Training makes you weaker. Recovery makes you stronger. If you are getting weaker instead of stronger, you are overtraining, which will lead to stagnant results at best and injury at worst. You must either improve your recovery, or reduce your workload. I think this idea might have some application here as well. What are you doing to emotionally recover from all this hard labor you are doing? Remember each time you start a self improvement task to be grateful to yourself - you are giving yourself a gift!

I also understand your feelings about women. I've felt the same things too, when I was extremely desperate. I would go from horny, to furious at women, to ashamed of myself for feeling that way, to hopelessly depressed. And of course, feeling depressed would make me want to lift my spirits, and I'd get horny again. I think it's a good thing for you to express those feelings to people who understand you, but I think it's also important that you recognize that they are just feelings, not facts.

I will also say that I have a lot of female friends who are extremely kind, caring, motivated, interesting, open-minded individuals. They all have anxiety, and would probably be confused and scared if a guy cold-approached them. Also, based on their ex's, none of them are into fat dudes.
Great points man, and you're totally right! BTW, I have experienced true burnout once when I was working like a frickin demon, and it was so insane, like I became paranoid/emotional and had to take several weeks off work LOL. That was when I started researching sleep a lot, and began to take weekends off. I recovered and then developed a strategy to prevent overreaching. Really good sleep, plus one FULL day off per week, can support a more sustainable approach to self improvement. I actually got an Oura ring this week so I think that will also help.

Socialising and hanging out to shoot the shit is part of my plan, but I also need to work on taking an hour of me time each day, which is a massive fucking struggle for a guy like me. But your post was super valuable and I really relate to it. I have lived that same experience and it was horrifying.

BTW, I genuinely do not feel that way about women, I feel bad when I post/think things like that. Basically, that day I was functioning off minimal sleep, and had been grinding hard, so the negative emotions were just amplifying. I finally got a new match and I sent her the first message from Andy's template and she immediately unmatched, lol. With the negative emotions already churning due to lack of sleep it kind of put me in a bad space and I posted that. Obviously it's not true. There is a shit tonne of psychological pain I am working through and it will be a factor for me for some time. I will heal and overcome it. But it will take time.

Having fat on your body truly is a killer of all attraction, it's a priority to lose mine, I was 223.0 this morning so it is coming down :)

Thanks Svadhishthana I am grateful for your thoughtful and valuable post.

FRI 30/07/2021

ACTION POINTS

-Gym
-Core
-Movement & Stretching
-Intermittent Fasting (24hr water fast)
-Cold Approach
-Digital Marketing 3 hrs
-Video Work: Shoot, Edit & Upload

Keep grinding,
MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
User avatar
drz
Posts: 62 | Thanks: 44
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2021 8:10 pm
Goal: Improve cold approach
Age: 31
Location: UK

Fri Jul 30, 2021 9:15 am

Awesome stuff MAC good to know you're taking action. In my experience cold approach is very hard if you can't relax when you're out, thus online usually has a lower barrier to entry.

Did you post your profile photos here out of interest? I know a guy who might be able to help (assuming you're near London, UK)
My goals (next 4 years):
- fix the poor approach-to-date ratio
- get into a relationship (done, in one from March 2021)
- move to a detached house
- Find a way of perma-reducing anxiety when I'm out.


My log
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Fri Jul 30, 2021 7:46 pm

drz wrote:
Fri Jul 30, 2021 9:15 am
Awesome stuff MAC good to know you're taking action. In my experience cold approach is very hard if you can't relax when you're out, thus online usually has a lower barrier to entry.

Did you post your profile photos here out of interest? I know a guy who might be able to help (assuming you're near London, UK)
Thanks man! Cold approach is not easy but nothing in life that is worthwhile is. I enjoy anything that is truly difficult and requires me to be one of the best out there. Cold approach is a fine thing to step up in.

Oh, I did yes, but that was with my old pics. I will post my current profile as @Rags2Bitches also suggested I do this. This will come this weekend.

Today was a good day.

I didn't have work today, so spend some time just reflecting on my life, on who I am, on why I am in this world, and what my mission is. I will keep searching inside and keep digging.

Off to London tomorrow, cold approaching in the day, going to a Russian Banya, and then going to a rave at night and will approach there. My goal is to speak to approach 50 women tomorrow! LETS FUCKING GO!

BTW, I am going to vlog it all...so you'll see me upload this on Sunday.

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
User avatar
SamJ_
Posts: 485 | Thanks: 109
Joined: Wed Apr 14, 2021 11:14 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 25
Motto: Cant cross the sea by standing&staring @ the water

Fri Jul 30, 2021 8:23 pm

MakingAComeback wrote:
Fri Jul 30, 2021 7:46 pm
drz wrote:
Fri Jul 30, 2021 9:15 am
Awesome stuff MAC good to know you're taking action. In my experience cold approach is very hard if you can't relax when you're out, thus online usually has a lower barrier to entry.

Did you post your profile photos here out of interest? I know a guy who might be able to help (assuming you're near London, UK)
Thanks man! Cold approach is not easy but nothing in life that is worthwhile is. I enjoy anything that is truly difficult and requires me to be one of the best out there. Cold approach is a fine thing to step up in.

Oh, I did yes, but that was with my old pics. I will post my current profile as @Rags2Bitches also suggested I do this. This will come this weekend.

Today was a good day.

I didn't have work today, so spend some time just reflecting on my life, on who I am, on why I am in this world, and what my mission is. I will keep searching inside and keep digging.

Off to London tomorrow, cold approaching in the day, going to a Russian Banya, and then going to a rave at night and will approach there. My goal is to speak to approach 50 women tomorrow! LETS FUCKING GO!

BTW, I am going to vlog it all...so you'll see me upload this on Sunday.

MAC
50 approaches in a day would be really impressive. Looking forward to seeing how that goes. Best of luck.
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Sat Jul 31, 2021 5:05 am

SAT 31/07/2021

GOAL: 8 Dates by July 31st
OUTCOME: 0 dates.
GOAL STATUS: Failed.

Debrief:

Tried, took action daily. When I got back to the UK, I cold approached after the debacle of the Canary Islands. Well, 5 x per week, not every day I geuss. The volume of my cold approaches was POOR. I was doing 1-3 a day, so I have only done 13 cold approaches in 2 weeks! Note: my city is dead, the students have gone home for the summer, and there aren’t a lot of women around. Moving to London in Oct, which will fix that. Anyway, swiped and messaged daily, ran 2 boosts a day on Tinder. Ran 1 super boost. I spent 45mins a day taking action on dating apps. That isn’t that much, I could bump that up to an hour, cold approach takes 2 hrs a day then 1hr on the apps totals 3hrs which is a decent place to atleast start.
Did have 1 or 2 matches during this time, but they unmatched the second I messaged. Couldn’t get a chick to respond at all. So yes, still very much at ground zero. That’s OK. I will have to become way way better.

Happy to try and fail daily for 10 years straight if that’s what it takes to go on even 1 date, so be it.

Failure happens in life. I am very comfortable with it. Why? Because it is one failure closer to success. I am very happy to fail a million times, because in that process, I will get better, and then, I will succeed. Still, let’s evaluate for a second and get clarity on where I went wrong, what needs to improve, and any lessons I should learn.

(1) What caused me to fail? What factors contributed to this?
(2) What action should I take to correct the causes of failure, and what lessons should be taken on board?
I have given some context, I know the cold approach volume was poor, but right now I am just getting into that again. I am getting out there 5 x a week and not gonna lie, I kind of enjoy the challenge. I thrive under pressure. I am losing weight, which I know will help, and I will do new pics in 3 weeks.

NEXT GOAL

I have to set a new goal now. Happy to take thoughts onboard as to what I can aim for? I would also be happy to keep the same goal and extend the timeframe.

My terrible dating life aside, I did atleast train my ass off in the gym, work hard, learn new things, and lost even more weight. I can truly truly say I worked very hard in the gym, on my diet, and am doing 2 x 24hr water fasts a week. I am happy with the progess I am making. I am 220 now so have lost 30lbs at this point.In a months time I could be 210 and that would be fucking awesome. Another 40lbs to go in the big picture, will need to be around 185.

It will come together. This isn’t a problem for me, I will go even harder, I want to give it some real bone crunching effort, I know I can do it. Frankly, I know what it is going to take for a guy like me. It will not be pretty. So be it.

I am now jumping on a train to London, where I will run a boost, spend a solid hour messaging and swiping, and will do 25 cold approaches in the day. Me and my friend are going to a rave, where I will approach 25 more girls. I must change my brain and condition myself to just LIVE the numbers game.

Thanks,
MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
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Rags2Bitches
Posts: 199 | Thanks: 206
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2020 3:49 am
Name: Andrey
Goal: Build service biz
Age: 31
Location: TX
Contact:

Sat Jul 31, 2021 5:54 pm

Hey MAC, you're making good progress. Just a couple of thoughts here...

1a) The most important work you are doing right now (with regards to dating) by far is losing weight. You need to cut down to abs then slowly build muscle. Seems like you have this under control, but any incremental progress you can make to dial in nutrition/workouts would be beneficial.

1b) Improving your style and taking new photos is secondary to that but still important. I expect you to have better style for your photoshoot in 3 weeks. Also, I want you to plan out your photos a bit/what message you're trying to send with them and give the photographer examples of what you want. (I know I promised you a post on positioning yourself but haven't gotten to it yet).

Now on to the other bullshit.

For OLD) It absolutely does not matter if you're swiping for 45 mins or 60 mins or running 2 boosts a day or one. To put it in marketing terms, you're increasing your ad spend when you know your angle and creative are trash. I know you're impatient to see some tangible progress but you're better off spending that time and money on photoshoots. 1-2 boosts are enough to see where you stand.

For cold approach) Yes, your volume is way too low to derive any useful conclusions. Can re-evaluate after 100 or 200 approaches. I've never approached at even average SMV, so I'll let someone else chime in. At least I can see how cold approaching even when you're getting rejected nonstop makes you less anxious and gives you valuable practice (as long as it doesn't make you spiral mentally). Moving to London should solve the time efficiency issues-- you'll be able to hit 10 approaches/hour instead of 1-2.

You could drop the date number down for your next goal-- doesn't really matter. Getting even one date would be further proof that you're on the right track. Or one from cold approach and one from online. Keep at it.
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MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Sun Aug 01, 2021 7:09 pm

SamJ_ wrote:
Fri Jul 30, 2021 8:23 pm
MakingAComeback wrote:
Fri Jul 30, 2021 7:46 pm


Thanks man! Cold approach is not easy but nothing in life that is worthwhile is. I enjoy anything that is truly difficult and requires me to be one of the best out there. Cold approach is a fine thing to step up in.

Oh, I did yes, but that was with my old pics. I will post my current profile as @Rags2Bitches also suggested I do this. This will come this weekend.

Today was a good day.

I didn't have work today, so spend some time just reflecting on my life, on who I am, on why I am in this world, and what my mission is. I will keep searching inside and keep digging.

Off to London tomorrow, cold approaching in the day, going to a Russian Banya, and then going to a rave at night and will approach there. My goal is to speak to approach 50 women tomorrow! LETS FUCKING GO!

BTW, I am going to vlog it all...so you'll see me upload this on Sunday.

MAC
50 approaches in a day would be really impressive. Looking forward to seeing how that goes. Best of luck.
It was actually way harder WITH my friend! He just sucked me into socialising, having a laugh, and fuck I find it SO hard to approach at raves. I said hi to one girl in the street in London and she ignored me.

At the rave, it was a tough experience, I was so so fucking convinced every single girl in there would rather be shot in the face than interact with me in any way. I just danced my ass off from 11pm-6am the next day LOL! Emotionally I felt quite depressed after, this was my first night out in 2 years, so seeing others effortlessly approaching, hanging out with their partners, pulling etc, for some reason it just made me think that I am so fucked as a person. I have legit 0 experience with the opposite sex and I have built nothing to be able to connect and attract them. I truly do not know how the fuck I am going to turn this situation around but I will try extremely hard. I fucked up approaching fullstop in London it was a terrible performance.
Rags2Bitches wrote:
Sat Jul 31, 2021 5:54 pm
Hey MAC, you're making good progress. Just a couple of thoughts here...

1a) The most important work you are doing right now (with regards to dating) by far is losing weight. You need to cut down to abs then slowly build muscle. Seems like you have this under control, but any incremental progress you can make to dial in nutrition/workouts would be beneficial.

1b) Improving your style and taking new photos is secondary to that but still important. I expect you to have better style for your photoshoot in 3 weeks. Also, I want you to plan out your photos a bit/what message you're trying to send with them and give the photographer examples of what you want. (I know I promised you a post on positioning yourself but haven't gotten to it yet).

Now on to the other bullshit.

For OLD) It absolutely does not matter if you're swiping for 45 mins or 60 mins or running 2 boosts a day or one. To put it in marketing terms, you're increasing your ad spend when you know your angle and creative are trash. I know you're impatient to see some tangible progress but you're better off spending that time and money on photoshoots. 1-2 boosts are enough to see where you stand.

For cold approach) Yes, your volume is way too low to derive any useful conclusions. Can re-evaluate after 100 or 200 approaches. I've never approached at even average SMV, so I'll let someone else chime in. At least I can see how cold approaching even when you're getting rejected nonstop makes you less anxious and gives you valuable practice (as long as it doesn't make you spiral mentally). Moving to London should solve the time efficiency issues-- you'll be able to hit 10 approaches/hour instead of 1-2.

You could drop the date number down for your next goal-- doesn't really matter. Getting even one date would be further proof that you're on the right track. Or one from cold approach and one from online. Keep at it.
Thank you man! I am trying my best. 100% man, I am working my ass off on weight loss, I think by December I will have a decent body. That should help me, but I must get more confident with women and must learn to approach them at scale.

OK, sounds good. That won't be a problem. I will plan the shoot out in depth, and get Radical's thoughts on the outfits (He said he is happy to yay or nah the outfits).

Yeah, true. I am going to have to stop it for now because it is truly not working for me right now. I will be honest, the isolation and long term loneliness and totally doing a number on my head, but that's life, I put myself here, I'll get myself out.

Yes definitely there are hella people in London lol, it's a cool place.

For sure bro, even one damn date with just about anyone will be a massive achievement for me. :)

I will keep hammering and thank you for your help it is grately appreciated.

So I am back from London now, I am cooked from a long ass day and raving all night, no sleep, had a good mastermind meeting today and that concludes the 6 month program (it's for a breathwork practice I am interested in). I am uploaded the vlog for the weekend, check it out shortly.

Back hammering tomorrow!!!

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
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