Have a moment of downtime because my date rescheduled for tomorrow and I didn't order all the parts I needed to work on the van this evening, so figured I'd update this from the last month.
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Day 194: Sat
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Van work
- Had Spiritual Girl over
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Day 195: Sun
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Van Work
- Helped Ravi start his men’s group
Was great to have this call. As expected, some took to the format well, some others found it weird. It’s not for everyone, nor do I claim it to be. But it certainly helped a few guys and glad I could help to get it started.
Funny enough, I took a walk after the call. I was a little irritable. Something about it had rubbed me the wrong way. When that happens I try to ask why and drill into what I’m trying to tell myself.
It gave me a revelation that I really need to hone in on what I want with game/ dating, with business, ect. I’m tremendously grateful for these forums. However it’s easy for me to try to succeed in something in order to earn the respect of those that I respect. Not necessarily to have them like me, but respect me. While that can be positive, it can also blind me to what my goals are.
I reminded myself that game is not my number one priority. Love & relationships are towards the bottom of my value hierarchy. Yet I’m putting a lot of effort into earning the respect of those who game/dating is their number one priority, because they have traits or results I would like to learn from.
So, I had to remind myself of what I wanted and why I got into game in the first place:
- Purpose is my number one priority. The business is an extension of that, and as such, it was time to really put in some work into this, beyond what I was already doing.
- After experiencing 3-4 week dryspells and get 3-4 lays in a weeks time, I can say that for maintainece of mental health, I need to have sex at bare minimum of once per week. On other end, having sex with more than 3 different girls in week feels hedonistic to me and I’m probably diverting a lot of time and energy away from my priority. So between 1-3 girls a week is the sweet spot for me.
- I value mastery more than I value love & relationships. When I started game, I wanted to eventually have the CONFIDENCE to approach any woman I found attractive, and at the very least have the SKILL to give me a chance. Online helped bring me to the starting line in game, and helped me with self-image issues showing me that maybe I COULD be that guy, but I’m not getting the deliberate practice or exposure I need to really have confidence or skill. I’m going to have to actually practice game. Not just rely on my SMV and always hitting it home with Yes Girls. I’m going to have to lean more into in person social game and day game (and probably bite the bullet of shit sleep a few times for the exposure of nightgame).
- Lastly, autonomy is also a value higher than love & relationships. The van hits that hard. As such I’m going to want to sink a lot of time into that.
So what did all this look like in action:
- As much as I love the KYIL community, I need to step back from even viewing or interacting on the logs. The focus is tangential to mine, but can also lead me to mix priorities. So just write everything up in a word document and post periodically.
- I reworked my schedule (again) to include “if not x, then y” statements like “if not on a date, then out CA” or “in not on a date, then working on the van” depending on the night.
- I’m aiming for 1-3 girls a week. Ideally 1-2 on rotation, and the rest are new girls.
I’ve always been more autodidactic. I’ve extracted 80% of what I could learn from the community and now need to return to learning on my own for a while to stay focused on my priorities. I need the room to run my own experiments.
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Day 196: Mon
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Content creation
Every Monday from now on is dedicated to busting out content for leads. I had a tremendously fun time recording and editing the content for today. Because its focused on education, I get the privilege of engaging in deliberate practice of teaching each week, putting out the content, and getting feedback. I record one piece of content and it is repurposed into one YT video, 5 YT shorts, 5 LinkedIn posts, 1 LinkedIn article, 1 blog article, 1 Substack article, and 1 podcast. Every week. Let’s see how it does.
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Day 197: Tues
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Networking event
Wore the suit out with mixed reactions, which is what I’d expect. On the upside, there was a Latina in red dress (who stood out because of it) that eye fucked me as I passed her. I pussied out as I was already leaving. Shame.
Also ran into MilfandCookies. Great to see and catch up with him. The more digital we get, the more bullish I’m getting on in person interactions. Specifically because people are waaaay different than they are online. So big and bad online, but you get them in person and they are timid. I, on the otherhand, feel far more comfortable in person because I can read people better. Now to just improve that with women, sexually, in person.
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Day 198: Wed
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Shrine munch
Was a fun gaining more experience with preselection/ status game. First off, I looked great because I got several compliments about my “look” and “vibe”. But I also surrounded myself with women during the evening. When I got there I sat with two girls from my munch, both cute, who I am under the impression want to fuck me. Later Event Girl showed up, who is very feminine and dresses like a girl from San Diego, gave me a big hug, and introduced me to her friend. Ended up just chatting and vibing with them until I left. Shame OF Girl didn’t make it out (she texted me before the munch she wasn’t making it) because I could have certainly leveraged all that.
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Day 199: Thurs
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Call with Jmand
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Day 200: Fri
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Date & Lay 25
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Day 201: Sat
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Van work
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Day 202: Sun
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Shrine
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Day 203: Mon
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Content creation
- Ran the munch
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Day 204: Tues
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Read Mode One
This book was pretty eye opening that even though I try to be honest and upfront, I am still sometimes in what he calls Mode Two, basically being too slow to state desires, boundaries, and ultimately what I value.
So I implemented what I read and used Mode One to tell Lips Girl that I did not want to hookup with her again and just be friends, just to make sure there was no question about it. Basically made all my statements “I want…” or “I don’t want…” with no justifying them. Worked out great. She said she wanted the same and there was no confusion.
Going to try my damndest to keep speaking this way. I realized that what I fear when not just directly stating my desires is not rejection, but ridicule. But the more self assured you become, the less the ridicule matters.
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Day 205: Wed
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- CA
Now that I have a car, I can do a 15 min drive to the mall rather than 45 min bus ride. There was at least 5 sets I could have done, and I punked out. Identifying that yes, in fact, the anxiety I get is from ridicule. Got it. Lets work with that.
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Day 206: Thurs
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- 0/1 CA
Went to the grocery store for something real quick. Approached a cute Latina in a short skirt. She was hesitant and not that interested. I didn’t care, I just needed some practice.
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Day 207: Fri
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Date & Lay 26
Some of the best sex I’ve had. Such a great experience.
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Day 208: Sat
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Van work
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Day 209: Sun
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Writing
Based on Crisis’s recommendation on my Social Game thread, I started writing my thoughts on dominance and submission to publish on FetLife. Think it will help give some more credibility to my profile.
- Last night with Spiritual Girl for a while
Had a great scene with Spiritual Girl fulfilling one of her fantasies. Afterwards we were very vulnerable with each other and shared a lot of gratitude for the last 6 months. She’s going way for a few months and will be back in September. She told me I was an amazing Dom and that I should think about teaching others, for which I told her I felt I still had a lot to learn first. She was very grateful for how much I’ve helped her grow sexually. Was very warming to hear.
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Day 210: Mon
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Content creation
- Ran the munch
There is another girl who has been visiting my munch who is also a top 1% only fans girl. She’s got a cute face and wonderfully submissive good girl personality, but is a bit chubbier so I’m not entirely interested in her. She flirts hard with me though during the munches. Today she was showing me one of her friends, also amateur porn star, saying she’s just my type and that I’d be really into her. I just soaked in the moment of realization I’m starting to fill my social circle with porn stars. Life’s wild.
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Day 211: Tues
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
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Day 212: Wed
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Lock-in lay with Politics Girl
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Day 213: Thurs
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Call with JmanD
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Day 214: Fri
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Van work
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Day 215: Sat
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Van work
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Day 216: Sun
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Van work
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Day 217: Mon
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Content creation
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Day 218: Tues
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Men’s Group
- Setup the professional meetup
Got everything setup on Meetup.com to host a professional networking type meetup. First one is set for next Tuesday. Trying to port over all the skills I’ve learned with the munches, so hosting this meetup once a week on Tuesday mornings. Let’s see how it goes.
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Day 219: Wed
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- 0/5 CA with Ed
Set 1: High schooler
Set 2: Black girl in tight dress with friend; vibed, then short answers and had husband
Set 3: Blonde going to parking garage; very sweet but had boyfriend
Set 4: Quickly came out of Forever 21, immediately approached but did not stop properly, kept walking
Set 5: Girl in Whole Foods, vibed well, pitched date, said she was meeting up with friends, didn't get number (because I spaced to even do that)
A good looking guy I met at the munch last month brought a new girl with him. One the girls from my munch started talking with the new girl and told her I was the guy to know if she was new to the scene. I thought the new girl was cute so I approached to start chatting with her and the guy she came with basically said the same thing, that I was the guy to know. She was pretty shy and nervous, but we chatted a bit before I returned to chatting with others.
Next day she messaged me on Fet and we’re setting a date next week. Certainly makes it easy when even the GUY YOU CAME WITH gives me social proof.
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Day 220: Thurs
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Had Politics Girl over
Seriously love fucking this girl. So glad she’s in the rotation. I think we are going to have a lot of fun and growth with each other.
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Day 221: Fri
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Van work