Thrice log. Is there someone that could give me personal help?

[Squilliam]

What? Why? What does one have to do with another? Why is her appeal being so high a negative hit to your emotions?

You can experience the same thing if you want. Go on Seeking and put your networth as 10m+ and see what its like. Or go to a 3rd world country and swipe on Tinder.

The experience isn't what its cracked up to be. Yeah you get a billion likes, but that creates new problems that are hard to deal with. Everyone being so thirsty for you creates this issue where they are all similar faceless drones. No one has any personality or challenge or difficulty or interest when they're all drooling after you. You can't tell if people like anything about you other than your face, ass, tits, or wallet. It dehumanizes you and makes things entirely about sex and finding real human connection becomes more difficult.

I'm not saying this isn't a better problem than being totally undesirable, but it does offer new unique drawbacks that come along with it. There are a lot of these girls who legit have zero real friends or meaningful connection with anyone. They live entirely in a dystopian world of fake relationships and social posturing all day.

You are correct. I don't think we exactly disagree here. I'm well aware of the problems that women have to deal with from online. Just, as you said, it's still a better problem than being undesirable.

The reason why it hurts me is probably because it reinforces the idea that I'm disposable. You say that the pool of thirsty guys coming after women dehumanizes them, and I agree, but I would argue that this often results in the same being done back to us. I feel disposable to women, because in my mind, they will never have trouble finding another guy. Maybe these feelings aren't exactly rational, but the absurd amount of choice they have makes me feel like no girl will value me unless I tick all her boxes, which just almost never happens. I guess what I'm saying is, I feel that women are more inclined to treat me like I'm disposable when they have so many options.

I acknowledge the irrationality of my feelings, but that doesn't make the feelings go away.

[GoodLookingNerd]

Or go to a 3rd world country and swipe on Tinder.

Yeah. Here in SE Asia Im permanently on 99+ likes but filtering the girls with actual potential has been such a chore that I decided to swipe left on every non western girl. Its a literal first world problem, but only getting 1 like a day from girls that are actually into me would actually be easier to be honest.

[Squilliam]

Yeah. Here in SE Asia Im permanently on 99+ likes but filtering the girls with actual potential has been such a chore that I decided to swipe left on every non western girl. Its a literal first world problem, but only getting 1 like a day from girls that are actually into me would actually be easier to be honest.

Believe it or not I can actually relate to this issue too. I get a pretty considerable amount of interest from girls I'm not into at all. The amount of girls that I'm into that actually want to go out with me is quite small however. I imagine it's the same deal for women.

[Thrice]

Yeah you get a billion likes, but that creates new problems

small violin playing*

[Adrizzle]

Now i will get the full sleeve tattoo done and double down on my fuckboy look for the summer.

Idk what your end goals are but I think this is a terrible idea IMO. If you’re not able to sexualise with girls yet, looking more fuckboy will not help with this at all. This might become a negative - girls will expect you to be a fuckboy, ie a level of escalation/game and if you don’t display that they will ghost. Hell girls can fucking notice that shit within 5 mins via body language. (Also tattoos are stupid fake veneer bullshit)

Save the money to put to logistics, car, mental/physical health.

Good to see you taking action man

[Thrice]

Now i will get the full sleeve tattoo done and double down on my fuckboy look for the summer.

Idk what your end goals are but I think this is a terrible idea IMO. If you’re not able to sexualise with girls yet, looking more fuckboy will not help with this at all. This might become a negative - girls will expect you to be a fuckboy, ie a level of escalation/game and if you don’t display that they will ghost. Hell girls can fucking notice that shit within 5 mins via body language. (Also tattoos are stupid fake veneer bullshit)

Save the money to put to logistics, car, mental/physical health.

Good to see you taking action man

should i dress like a sexless nerd to be congruent with the fact that i don't know how to sexualize? In this type of communities it's called fake it till you make it, i will improve my fuckboy look and become one. Girls are ghosting anyway and 90% of matches don't even reply. I don't see how the situation will get worse because you look like a fuckboy, it can only get better and dressing like a fuckboy and having tattoes is my real style anyway even if i was born gay or asexual

[Squilliam]

should i dress like a sexless nerd to be congruent with the fact that i don't know how to sexualize? In this type of communities it's called fake it till you make it, i will improve my fuckboy look and become one. Girls are ghosting anyway and 90% of matches don't even reply. I don't see how the situation will get worse because you look like a fuckboy, it can only get better and dressing like a fuckboy and having tattoes is my real style anyway even if i was born gay or asexual

Nah, dress like a fuckboy even if you aren't one.

Realize that being a fuckboy or a sexless nerd are not two distinct categories. It's like a spectrum.

I would say my fashion is pretty fuckboy-ish even though my personality isn't really congruent with it, but I notice progress. I don't see any benefit in dressing like a sexless nerd. IMO that just supports the hopeless idea that you'll never be a fuckboy.

[Thrice]

Your logistics are definitely holding you back. You should make a plan to get that sorted ASAP. It's way harder to get laid if you don't have reasonable logistics (not having your own place, or living far away etc). Figure out how you can move closer to where your dates typically are.

That being said, you can probably still make it happen. I got laid when I was living with parents or in an inconvenient location. I would fuck girls at their places. Much more of a hassle but it is definitely doable.


AFAIK Holden lives in a fairly inconvenient location and his sex life is popping.

Yes, women can't fully understand our problems, just as we won't fully understand theirs.

I thin Holden is in a big city in europe, i'm in a small town of 200k people. I'mthinking of doing at least one month in a big european city this summer, i will have to think about it and plan very well.

Who knows if a city in the coastal area in italy is good enough considering the large amount of girls from all over the world that come here or a big city in germany or east europe. I have no idea and i will have to do my research.

I don't travel often but i can tell you that Milan sucks in the summer and it's completely EMPTY. I don't know if other italian cities like Rome or Venice could do the job in july or august

yea it will happen and i have to make it happen, today i have the second date with the irish girl. She looks very enthusiastic and looking forward to meet me. i don't know if she wants to use me to visit the area and learn italian or fuck. I told her that my goal is sex on watsap and today will have to make a move. I won't be traveling 1hour again for sexless date. Tomorrow i will hit local clubs and report on that too

should i dress like a sexless nerd to be congruent with the fact that i don't know how to sexualize? In this type of communities it's called fake it till you make it, i will improve my fuckboy look and become one. Girls are ghosting anyway and 90% of matches don't even reply. I don't see how the situation will get worse because you look like a fuckboy, it can only get better and dressing like a fuckboy and having tattoes is my real style anyway even if i was born gay or asexual

Nah, dress like a fuckboy even if you aren't one.

Realize that being a fuckboy or a sexless nerd are not two distinct categories. It's like a spectrum.

I would say my fashion is pretty fuckboy-ish even though my personality isn't really congruent with it, but I notice progress. I don't see any benefit in dressing like a sexless nerd. IMO that just supports the hopeless idea that you'll never be a fuckboy.

Yes agree, but Adrizzle wanted to say something else but there's nothing wrong with dressing congruent with your FUTURE personaly, the one you're building. The opposite is dressing like a sexless guy and reinforce the current personality that you're trying to change.

I agree with his take about tattooes, they are permanent, but i like tattooes anyway. Still if i heard of someone who's going to have tattoes just to increase sex appeal i wouldn't find it wrong at all, i mean who cares. They will increase your sex appeal and as someone who has tattooes i can tell that you end up forgetting you have, not a big deal at all

[GoodLookingNerd]

I won't be traveling 1hour again for sexless date.

Dont use this angry frame of mind before going on a date. Yes its annoying if it happens but you can choose to see it as a fun night spent talking with a girl instead of doing nothing. Not too mention that you can learn from the experience.

[Terminator]

I won't be traveling 1hour again for sexless date.

Dont use this angry frame of mind before going on a date. Yes its annoying if it happens but you can choose to see it as a fun night spent talking with a girl instead of doing nothing. Not too mention that you can learn from the experience.

This. Besides a lot of "normal" guys spend countless nights at clubs and bars with nothing more than the hope of getting laid, going home empty handed most nights. If they are prepared to "waste" time like that, so should I.

[Thrice]

I think I'm not going to this fucking date, this girl is so fucking annoying, she seems the one trying to "pull", but not me, but a visit to some other city

I mean pancake is a genious, he says on his blog that aupair will waste your time trying to use you to go around

If you thinking I'm overreacting this girl did this on first date and kept trying on watsap

[GoodLookingNerd]

Looks like she is offering to go there on her own.

[Squilliam]

I think I'm not going to this fucking date, this girl is so fucking annoying, she seems the one trying to "pull", but not me, but a visit to some other city

Man, I don't see why you're complaining. This girl is literally being considerate of the fact that she doesn't want you to travel super far. You have shitty logistics, so obviously it's hard to arrange a house date.

[pancakemouse]

I think I'm not going to this fucking date, this girl is so fucking annoying, she seems the one trying to "pull", but not me, but a visit to some other city

I mean pancake is a genious, he says on his blog that aupair will waste your time trying to use you to go around

If you thinking I'm overreacting this girl did this on first date and kept trying on watsap

She's an au pair? If so, why would you meet in her area, she lives with a family and doesn't have logistics for sex, right?

[colgate]

I think I'm not going to this fucking date, this girl is so fucking annoying, she seems the one trying to "pull", but not me, but a visit to some other city

I mean pancake is a genious, he says on his blog that aupair will waste your time trying to use you to go around

If you thinking I'm overreacting this girl did this on first date and kept trying on watsap

yea i'm gonna lay this out plainly but what you said seems like the TOTAL OPPOSITE of what her messages read.

it literally looks like she's begging you to invite her to your city and she will travel there for you.