Mav's Log

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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Mav
Posts: 246 | Thanks: 171
Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2020 10:46 pm
Name: Mason
Goal: Level Up
Age: 32
Motto: There Is No Tomorrow
Location: Florida

Mon Mar 29, 2021 6:55 pm

Appreciate the post. I just don't see the point anymore and anytime I'm on a good streak, making progress, I end up getting depressed again and relapsing... going back to square one. Anything can cause it. People talking shit about me behind my back at work, being mocked out in public, realizing I don't have any friends, the way I look, knowing I'll never get to date the kind of girls I'd want, comparing myself to most other guys I see, social anxiety, etc. Then I just don't care anymore and don't see a point. Like I have done only 15 minutes of real work, all day at work today. Usually I can get at least the bare minimum done. Too many obstacles/issues/glass ceilings. Only thing I can think of that might help is SSRI's or something similar to kind of take the edge off and let me be a bit less depressed. I can't just "outwill" my issues. That has never worked.
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nipple-flip
Posts: 494 | Thanks: 57
Joined: Tue Jul 14, 2020 8:59 pm
Name: Chris
Goal: self-actualize
Age: 29
Motto: do your best every day
Location: USA

Mon Mar 29, 2021 8:48 pm

I'll try and talk briefly about the things you mentioned:

> People talking shit about me behind my back at work, being mocked out in public

Hard to see this in the short term, but none of that needs to matter. those people's opinions are only worth the attention you choose to give them. you can always find new people, unless you don't plan to ever move.

> realizing I don't have any friends

That's a bit mean to all the people in this thread, innit?

speaking genuinely, I think you'll find that the friends sort themselves out somewhere along the way. but until that happens, you have a community of like-minded people right here.

> the way I look, knowing I'll never get to date the kind of girls I'd want, comparing myself to most other guys I see,

Neither of us will ever be Chris Hemsworth or equivalent. That's the way of the world. There are some things that other people get to experience that you don't, through no fault of yours or merit of theirs. But just because other people have a higher ceiling than you, doesn't mean that your ceiling is low.

> Like I have done only 15 minutes of real work, all day at work today

Something I want to touch on that I forgot to in the original post is the need for self-forgiveness. Finding a genuine way to let go of any single day's failures will help you a lot, because all streaks inevitably come to an end, and you need to be able to find a way to pick back up after failure. I can feel your self-hate in this sentence. I remember that same feeling myself. I don't have great advice on how to let it go, other than that therapy helped me. But it wasn't a quick fix. It probably took 2-3 years, and I didn't actually notice or have a singular "aha" moment after which my depression went away. Just a long time and lots of incremental improvements to my mental health. it's just like any other aspect of life in that way. The point I'm trying to make is that there's a blueprint for you to follow. You don't need to reinvent the wheel, but when the path is shown to you, you have to ignore the deluge of reasons to reject it that attack your brain.

> I can't just "outwill" my issues. That has never worked.

A good habit only needs to stick once to change everything forever. I spent the last 8 years lifting for 2 weeks and then giving up. Probably tried like 30 times to build the habit. Succeeded once about a year ago, but that's all it takes. 30 failures, one success. once you succeed at one thing, the next thing takes a lot less will. You're on the wrong end of the snowball right now, but every subsequent step is easier than the last. you haven't experienced it yet, so the idea is probably unfathomable to you, but others will corroborate it.

> Only thing I can think of that might help is SSRI's or something similar to kind of take the edge off and let me be a bit less depressed

this might be a viable solution. I want to stress that even if SSRI's help, a lot of work will be involved. it's inescapable. the only way to know is to give them a try, see if they help.

-----

I tried to address your specific points, but ultimately the specifics probably don't matter. I can tell from the head-space you're currently in, you'll find more points to counter mine. I understand that in the end these are your demons and I'm only writing as an outsider - I'll never have the full picture. My primary recommendation is to find one thing inside your locus of control and focus on doing your best at it. doesn't matter what it is.

I'm probably not going to make another post in this thread for a while, but know that I'll be reading along and rooting for you. best of luck, bro.
29M

regular processes
- track sleep, calories, and protein
- lift weights
- solve medium/hard leetcode problems
- journal

less-regular processes
- complete two "grokking" courses
- read and take notes on DDIA

outcomes
- qualify for USAPL open nationals at 75kg (current bodyweight 151, S/B/D: 353/203/462)
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dashedhopes
Posts: 179 | Thanks: 232
Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:20 am
Name: Tristan
Goal: Increase Sub Count
Age: 27
Motto: Anything is better than nothing.
Location: Canada
Contact:

Tue Mar 30, 2021 4:24 am

@Mav If you were being 100% charitable to yourself. If an angel came down to earth and could only say nice things about you...

What would they say?

They would say a TON of positive stuff.

What do you think they would say about you?
27 years young.

Tristan - Canada

Youtube Channel - https://bit.ly/2CbEbKK (Road to 1k Before End of 2022)
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Mav
Posts: 246 | Thanks: 171
Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2020 10:46 pm
Name: Mason
Goal: Level Up
Age: 32
Motto: There Is No Tomorrow
Location: Florida

Tue Mar 30, 2021 5:05 am

I honestly can't come up with much. There aren't many good things to say. I would be lying if I came up with things, just to answer your question. That's pretty typical for me, not just because I'm in a bad mood.
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Mav
Posts: 246 | Thanks: 171
Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2020 10:46 pm
Name: Mason
Goal: Level Up
Age: 32
Motto: There Is No Tomorrow
Location: Florida

Wed Mar 31, 2021 3:57 pm

Yeah, my two biggest issues are social and my looks. I'm embarrassed to be seen by or be around people because of how bad I look. Just short of humiliating. People will mock me, stare, or talk shit about me, which in turn makes me obviously bad socially. I can post pics of examples, ever though I'd prefer not to haha.
User avatar
Mav
Posts: 246 | Thanks: 171
Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2020 10:46 pm
Name: Mason
Goal: Level Up
Age: 32
Motto: There Is No Tomorrow
Location: Florida

Wed Mar 31, 2021 10:30 pm

No, just in general. I'm not going to post anymore and giving myself to the end of the year. Really do appreciate everyone's comments and help on here, thank you. And best of luck bro, keep at it.
Last edited by Mav on Wed Mar 31, 2021 10:40 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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NewFoundResolve
Posts: 53 | Thanks: 17
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2021 8:53 am
Goal: Out of debt
Age: 27
Motto: Just fucking do it

Thu Apr 01, 2021 6:03 am

You said you were planning on getting Invisalign and that fixing your teeth would be expensive in your first post. Not sure if you already got it. But you can negotiate the price down a lot. I told them that I decided I didn't want to do it after a consultation with a dentist, then they offered me a much lower price, maybe a third lower, cant remember exactly.
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dashedhopes
Posts: 179 | Thanks: 232
Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:20 am
Name: Tristan
Goal: Increase Sub Count
Age: 27
Motto: Anything is better than nothing.
Location: Canada
Contact:

Tue Apr 27, 2021 5:12 am

Waiting for the MAV comeback man. You're just in a slump bro.

Keep making progress. Don't want you to go away.

You have it in you.
27 years young.

Tristan - Canada

Youtube Channel - https://bit.ly/2CbEbKK (Road to 1k Before End of 2022)
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SIGMA_1234
Posts: 951 | Thanks: 328
Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2020 9:13 am
Goal: Digital Nomad Income
Age: 26
Motto: Action > Perfection

Tue Apr 27, 2021 9:33 am

Mav, we may be hard on you, but please it's because we believe in you. We want to see you succeed, bro.
Aspiring Digital Nomad

Follow my lifestyle journey log

Fitness:
-) Cut to 56 kg, then bulk after

Sex Enhancement:
-) Bathmate & Kegels

Learning goals:
-) 10 books
-) more note-taking & reviewing of past materials

^^Lifestyle habit tracker can be monitored here.

Learning Chinese Mandarin:
-) Mandarin 365 Project, monitor here.

Follow my business journey log

$ Goals:
-) US$3k/ mo nomad income
-) US$10k/ mo nomad income
User avatar
Spazdig
Posts: 151 | Thanks: 35
Joined: Tue Oct 13, 2020 9:01 pm
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 27

Wed Oct 20, 2021 10:06 pm

Hoping you come back to us man
User avatar
Mav
Posts: 246 | Thanks: 171
Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2020 10:46 pm
Name: Mason
Goal: Level Up
Age: 32
Motto: There Is No Tomorrow
Location: Florida

Thu Dec 30, 2021 5:35 am

Randomly decided to log in to forum and responded to Mattscrib message. Saw the posts on here and figured I'd update.

Have been through a lot since March. I got my first apartment without roommates, which is nice enough and way better for my mental health. Got a cute kitty who destroys all of my shit lol. Have been seeing girl I met from Bumble... it's kind of complicated with her but she is much more into me than I am into her. She's great and accepts all of my flaws but at the same time I want to date hotter girls lol.

Got Covid but it was pretty mild flu overall and even did a small workout on Day 2 lol. The first rapid test was a false negative and didn't know until three days later after I already was around numerous other people. Ended up losing my smell and taste, got retested and tested positive on all three tests. Luckily got paid for two weeks to chill at my place.

Was hitting the gym pretty hard two months ago and put on a fair bit of muscle quickly. Was getting numerous comments about physique from co-workers and customers. Fell off the past month and a half, trying to get back into it but it's tough. Got a bench, adjustable dumbbells, adjustable kettlebell, and pull up tower for downstairs. Boss might also be paying for our gym membership at nicest gym in town. Also have membership at Planet minute down the road from me.

Up about 20k in crypto even with the market being down rn... Not interested in selling at this point. I do need to get some extra income the next 3-4 months, around $600 a month to help pay my income tax bill in April. But more importantly, I need to figure out something long term, which is one of my most mentally pressing issues this past six months. My current job is probably the most lax, easy job ever but I'm stuck at around 40k a year tops. It's great for the low level of stress and work (basically on FB and watching YouTube videos half the day) but I need to really double my income in the next 5+ years. Was still thinking something in IT but that job market and the "skill trees" all so confusing to me. I don't know how to code but I'm confident I could pass some basic certs quickly like A+, Security+, Network+, etc. Maybe go into help desk for a year and then try and transition to something higher skilled/paying. Anyone have any knowledge on this?

I apologize for my behavior in the past. It's pretty cringeworthy to me and embarrassing but my mental health has been pretty bad at times.
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Zug
Posts: 661 | Thanks: 356
Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2021 5:43 pm
Goal: Find a wife
Age: 41
Motto: Strength before weakness

Thu Dec 30, 2021 6:21 am

I've been in tech forever. All the A+/Network+/CCNA etc stuff is on the way out. I did that whole schtick working myself up from Help Desk. It was a good plan....10 years ago. If I was starting fresh today. I'd go straight into coding and programming. The money and demand is there and moving more so everyday. The support, hardware, and network side of tech isn't dying, but it is only going to get worse going forward.

I don't know what the on-ramp looks like for getting started on the programming side in todays market. Hopefully someone else can chime in on that front. In the meantime, learn how to code and get really good. Tech work is as close to a meritocracy that is ever going to exist.
User avatar
Mav
Posts: 246 | Thanks: 171
Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2020 10:46 pm
Name: Mason
Goal: Level Up
Age: 32
Motto: There Is No Tomorrow
Location: Florida

Thu Dec 30, 2021 6:29 am

May need to find another career choice then. Idk if I'm smart enough to learn a ton of languages, especially at my age, and translate that into something. Girl I'm seeing could get me a job at Fidelity. Would bump me up to around 50k plus benefits starting but way more work/stress. Or I could coast at current job and use half the day trying to build an online business.
User avatar
Mav
Posts: 246 | Thanks: 171
Joined: Fri Jun 12, 2020 10:46 pm
Name: Mason
Goal: Level Up
Age: 32
Motto: There Is No Tomorrow
Location: Florida

Thu Jan 06, 2022 10:29 pm

Whelp, chick who was pretty into me just broke it off with me. Back to being alone by myself every day, again lol. Also, signed up for new gym that work is paying for.
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