On the path to a better self

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
Post Reply
User avatar
SpongeBob
Posts: 300 | Thanks: 216
Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2021 7:53 pm
Goal: Build a fulfilling life
Age: 30

Thu Feb 24, 2022 6:34 pm

Saw the girl from Saturday's date on Tuesday for a wine and dine date at my place, ended up in one of the best sex I've had. Will definitively see her again and we'll see how things go. I really liked the moment we shared, very wholesome, I received quite a lot of compliments on my skills, which was quite nice because I know that she has a lot of experience and I managed to distinguish myself.

Other funny interaction: had this girl I matched with on Happn 3 weeks ago. Tried to set up a date but she was going in holidays so couldn't meet. Told each other that we'd meet when she get back. Wasn't expecting anything and when she came back she hit me up by herself telling me that she's back and kind of handled me her number. She sounds quite eager to meet which is always nice. Will try to set up a date for the week end

Was supposed to have a date tonight. But she flaked. Ainsi va la vie.

Yesterday I went to a meetup and I always find myself with the same issue. I really struggle to portray myself as something other than the "nice guy". I mean I feel I always come of as very friendly, but then I can't get past it. I've always worked very hard to fight my introverted side and always attend social event to not loose the habit. There are always some attractive girls during these events but I never manage to break through my mental blocage and be more flirty with them, no matter how much I try I just stay on the friendly and when I try to be flirty, it generally doesn't feel like it's conveyed properly. I don't know how to break from this pattern. If anyone has some tips, I'm all ears. Yesterday I ended up chatting with 2 ladies all night, one picked my interest but I saw on her phone that she has a boyfriend. And I'm thinking that I was so not a "threat" (in a sexual way) that she never thought about mentioning him to "deflect me". There was never any kind of tension and I don't know how to build it. I spent too much time working on knowing how to have a nice conversation but not on the sexual innuendo. Actually even my lay from Tuesday told me something similar. I want to be able to meet women from IRL as well, not only online dating. So I want to crack the mental code that blocks me.

On a side note, ordered the magic wand. I want to see what the hype is all about.
User avatar
Thrice
Posts: 478 | Thanks: 296
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2021 8:33 am
Name: Mohamed
Goal: get laid
Age: 32
Motto: GO GET SOMETHING FUCKING DONE
Location: Italy

Thu Feb 24, 2022 7:13 pm

SpongeBob wrote:
Tue Feb 08, 2022 8:12 pm
f you never took it
I have phenibut from fusion supplements, from the site predatornutrition, it's great for sleeping at 500mg, never tried more than that i will try it once i start matching girls or approaching so thanks!
Looking for a hardcore accountability partner👇🏽

viewtopic.php?f=17&t=2052
User avatar
Aspire2Greatness
Posts: 539 | Thanks: 104
Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2021 7:09 pm
Name: Thomas
Goal: Get laid
Age: 33
Motto: Discipline equals freedom

Thu Feb 24, 2022 8:16 pm

SpongeBob wrote:
Thu Feb 24, 2022 6:34 pm
no matter how much I try I just stay on the friendly and when I try to be flirty, it generally doesn't feel like it's conveyed properly
I can relate to this. I've been having Andys mantra "allow your self to suck" in the back of my mind whenever I've wanted to try to move things forward with girls. Some will like it, some will stop replying and so forth.

I think the most important thing you can do is to try. Tell your self that it's probably going to fail, but at least you tried and have some more experience.
My progress log
Aka: I quit my dream job of 10 years and moved to the big city

Main goal: sleep with 10 women within the end of the year 7/10.


Previous main goal: Move to a bigger city
Jobs applied for in total: 5
09/20/22: Job landed
User avatar
SpongeBob
Posts: 300 | Thanks: 216
Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2021 7:53 pm
Goal: Build a fulfilling life
Age: 30

Sat Feb 26, 2022 1:41 pm

Hard2Focus wrote:
Thu Feb 24, 2022 8:16 pm
I think the most important thing you can do is to try. Tell your self that it's probably going to fail, but at least you tried and have some more experience.
Yeah man you're definitively right. I need to plough through the discomfort and just go for it.
Thrice wrote:
Thu Feb 24, 2022 7:13 pm
I have phenibut from fusion supplements, from the site predatornutrition, it's great for sleeping at 500mg, never tried more than that i will try it once i start matching girls or approaching so thanks!
Really ? From 500mg ? I read that it's usually the higher doses that helps for sleeping
User avatar
Thrice
Posts: 478 | Thanks: 296
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2021 8:33 am
Name: Mohamed
Goal: get laid
Age: 32
Motto: GO GET SOMETHING FUCKING DONE
Location: Italy

Sat Feb 26, 2022 4:14 pm

SpongeBob wrote:
Sat Feb 26, 2022 1:41 pm
Really ? From 500mg ? I read that it's usually the higher doses that helps for sleeping
not true! all took one pill and always slept like a baby...i like this brand too, they have legit stuff
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Looking for a hardcore accountability partner👇🏽

viewtopic.php?f=17&t=2052
User avatar
Aspire2Greatness
Posts: 539 | Thanks: 104
Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2021 7:09 pm
Name: Thomas
Goal: Get laid
Age: 33
Motto: Discipline equals freedom

Sat Feb 26, 2022 4:42 pm

Thrice wrote:
Sat Feb 26, 2022 4:14 pm
SpongeBob wrote:
Sat Feb 26, 2022 1:41 pm
Really ? From 500mg ? I read that it's usually the higher doses that helps for sleeping
not true! all took one pill and always slept like a baby...i like this brand too, they have legit stuff
Is there any noticeable sleep hangover with phenibut? For comparison, if I take more than 1mg of melatonin I'll be sleepy as fuck for several hours upon waking the next day.
My progress log
Aka: I quit my dream job of 10 years and moved to the big city

Main goal: sleep with 10 women within the end of the year 7/10.


Previous main goal: Move to a bigger city
Jobs applied for in total: 5
09/20/22: Job landed
User avatar
Thrice
Posts: 478 | Thanks: 296
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2021 8:33 am
Name: Mohamed
Goal: get laid
Age: 32
Motto: GO GET SOMETHING FUCKING DONE
Location: Italy

Sat Feb 26, 2022 4:46 pm

Hard2Focus wrote:
Sat Feb 26, 2022 4:42 pm
Is there any noticeable sleep hangover with phenibut?
we all have different chemistry, me myself never had sleep hangover with phenibut! never used melatonin, i don't like it
Looking for a hardcore accountability partner👇🏽

viewtopic.php?f=17&t=2052
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Wed Mar 02, 2022 8:31 am

Lets get it in March big man!!!

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
User avatar
ovnidos
Posts: 333 | Thanks: 258
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2021 5:57 pm
Name: Hugo
Goal: the pipeline
Age: 22
Motto: We're gonna make it brah
Location: France

Wed Mar 02, 2022 2:22 pm

SpongeBob wrote:
Thu Feb 24, 2022 6:34 pm
And I'm thinking that I was so not a "threat" (in a sexual way)
I've got exactly the same issue man. Last friday it was EXACTLY the same setup, went out with a bunch of girls which could have been potential targets. Alcool helped to chill and to danse, but I was so worried to be overly-flirty with these to do not harm my reputation. It's perphaps a bad believe idk, perhaps you feel about the same ?

. It's barely noticeable but since I've got more edge (muscle, tatoo, no glasses) I've got more comments, but it doesn't exactly lead to flirty behaviour.
English isn't my first language be indulgent, lol

Giving personalized gym advices, nutrition and everything related, just pm me

Goal for 2023 :
10 lays(0/10) --> Online dating optimization

My log :
viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1100
User avatar
SpongeBob
Posts: 300 | Thanks: 216
Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2021 7:53 pm
Goal: Build a fulfilling life
Age: 30

Mon Mar 07, 2022 9:10 am

ovnidos wrote:
Wed Mar 02, 2022 2:22 pm
Alcool helped to chill and to danse, but I was so worried to be overly-flirty with these to do not harm my reputation. It's perphaps a bad believe idk, perhaps you feel about the same ?
No I have to admit that I don't care about my reputation, it's just the thought of being rejected by the girl that blocks me I guess.

----------------------

I feel a small decrease in my motivation, I'm not consistent in my habits anymore. Diet has really taken a hit since I lost all my weight, and I haven't calculated my calories ever since, stopped weighing myself at the gym as well, as I'm afraid of what I'm going to see. Feel like I may have lost more weight, but need to face that and I'll weigh myself Wednesday morning, next time I go to the gym in the morning. I've also stopped working on my upper body at the gym because of my shoulder pain, even by only working the biceps triceps, I'd end up with pain and even when I'm not training. Decided to let it rest to try to fully heal it. So I'm only doing lower body, I should also include core training but fuck I hate it. Maybe as much if not more as leg day, but would still be good to do. Last week I've been only twice at the gym, skipped one day because of laziness. Not too proud of this but not worth to beat myself for it.

My OLD is totally dry, not getting any organic likes anymore. Unless I boost on Tinder, don't get shit. My 2 last boosts just got me 2 matches (all the other likes were not attractive) and because of some financial issues, I might not be able to pay for more boost this month. I need to sort this out.

Had a date las Wednesday from Happn (the only one I got from the app), 32yr old Dutch/Colombiana. Was mad cute but the date was off, she deflected all my attempts of flirting and talked to me in a very friendly vibe. Had a nice conversation but after the date I actually never contacted her, I think I was put off by the vibe of the date and didn't want to pursue more.

I was trying to set up a date with a girl from Tinder during the weekend, we told each other that we'd contact on Saturday morning to plan something in the evening or Sunday during the day. Wrote her as planned, she replied in the evening, never mentioning her availability. She flaked on me previously already so I just moved on.

I'm still seeing the girl from my school regularly, but I feel that I'm slowly loosing interest, sex is good and we're having a good time, but don't feel it for a relationship and she gives me this vibe. My primal reaction is to start to pull myself out of this situation, but I'll confront it and next time I see her, we'll talk about each other's expectations. Need to start facing uncomfortable conversations.

Went to another meetup on Saturday, met some cool people and we all moved to a gay bar, was a lot of interesting ladies but once again, I pussied out most of the time, even though some really gave me hints of being interested. This evening, once again, made me realise that I really need to work on my vibe. I remember that, during the meetup, at some point I was talking to a group of girls, we had a nice chat but I felt that something was off, at some point I left because I wanted to bounce to talk to other people and not overextend my stay with them, I saw another guy go and talk to them, and I could see from a distance that the vibe of their convo was totally different, one of the girl was way more invested, you could see it in her body language. I talked to the guy after and he was one of the people we moved with afterward, and he just had this chill, confident vibe (even though he was drunk) and I think he's more emotional when he talks, so more engaging, even though I'm sure he's not more interesting. I think I have this false belief that I need to be super interesting in order to attract, I need to put more emphasis on being fun and not being too serious. This is not just for women but in general. Now the question is, how to do that ? It's all mental and shit but that's why it's so hard to change. But I'll find a way.

For the 1st time in a month, I don't have any dates coming this week, will probably have another meetup this week end and will try to hang out with the people I met Saturday. It's fun to go out with people. But I don't really know what to do to work on what I mentioned, but having a relaxed week could also be good.

Baby steps is the was forward.
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Mon Mar 07, 2022 10:29 am

Bro happy to hear from you, I've gotta work remotely but I am going to write a full reply to you.

But I am happy you posted.

I will post to you later today brother and I have been in this spot, big time. I would love to share my thoughts and just echo that I know this position very well.

This is legit essential in the journey.

Again I will share with you what the other bros taught me and it helped like crazy

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
User avatar
Holden
Posts: 1620 | Thanks: 562
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2021 1:36 pm
Goal: Rotation
Age: 28

Mon Mar 07, 2022 11:21 am

All pheni doses will help with sleep somewhat, but higher doses will force your body to sleep. That's why you see higher doses recommended specifically for sleep.

Phenibut has a nice afterglow the day after. Good for the gym and listening to music and being productive.
Laycount: 100

My Log

Primary goal:
- Rotation of three girls (DONE)
- Regular threesomes (DONE)
- A foursome
User avatar
SpongeBob
Posts: 300 | Thanks: 216
Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2021 7:53 pm
Goal: Build a fulfilling life
Age: 30

Mon Mar 07, 2022 11:57 am

@MakingAComeback looking forward your post

@Holden, Funny, when I take phenibut I have trouble to go to sleep, as I'm stimulated. Music does hit differently on it though, 100%
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Tue Mar 08, 2022 8:53 am

SpongeBob wrote:
Mon Mar 07, 2022 9:10 am
ovnidos wrote:
Wed Mar 02, 2022 2:22 pm
Alcool helped to chill and to danse, but I was so worried to be overly-flirty with these to do not harm my reputation. It's perphaps a bad believe idk, perhaps you feel about the same ?
No I have to admit that I don't care about my reputation, it's just the thought of being rejected by the girl that blocks me I guess.

----------------------

I feel a small decrease in my motivation, I'm not consistent in my habits anymore. Diet has really taken a hit since I lost all my weight, and I haven't calculated my calories ever since, stopped weighing myself at the gym as well, as I'm afraid of what I'm going to see. Feel like I may have lost more weight, but need to face that and I'll weigh myself Wednesday morning, next time I go to the gym in the morning. I've also stopped working on my upper body at the gym because of my shoulder pain, even by only working the biceps triceps, I'd end up with pain and even when I'm not training. Decided to let it rest to try to fully heal it. So I'm only doing lower body, I should also include core training but fuck I hate it. Maybe as much if not more as leg day, but would still be good to do. Last week I've been only twice at the gym, skipped one day because of laziness. Not too proud of this but not worth to beat myself for it.

My OLD is totally dry, not getting any organic likes anymore. Unless I boost on Tinder, don't get shit. My 2 last boosts just got me 2 matches (all the other likes were not attractive) and because of some financial issues, I might not be able to pay for more boost this month. I need to sort this out.

Had a date las Wednesday from Happn (the only one I got from the app), 32yr old Dutch/Colombiana. Was mad cute but the date was off, she deflected all my attempts of flirting and talked to me in a very friendly vibe. Had a nice conversation but after the date I actually never contacted her, I think I was put off by the vibe of the date and didn't want to pursue more.

I was trying to set up a date with a girl from Tinder during the weekend, we told each other that we'd contact on Saturday morning to plan something in the evening or Sunday during the day. Wrote her as planned, she replied in the evening, never mentioning her availability. She flaked on me previously already so I just moved on.

I'm still seeing the girl from my school regularly, but I feel that I'm slowly loosing interest, sex is good and we're having a good time, but don't feel it for a relationship and she gives me this vibe. My primal reaction is to start to pull myself out of this situation, but I'll confront it and next time I see her, we'll talk about each other's expectations. Need to start facing uncomfortable conversations.

Went to another meetup on Saturday, met some cool people and we all moved to a gay bar, was a lot of interesting ladies but once again, I pussied out most of the time, even though some really gave me hints of being interested. This evening, once again, made me realise that I really need to work on my vibe. I remember that, during the meetup, at some point I was talking to a group of girls, we had a nice chat but I felt that something was off, at some point I left because I wanted to bounce to talk to other people and not overextend my stay with them, I saw another guy go and talk to them, and I could see from a distance that the vibe of their convo was totally different, one of the girl was way more invested, you could see it in her body language. I talked to the guy after and he was one of the people we moved with afterward, and he just had this chill, confident vibe (even though he was drunk) and I think he's more emotional when he talks, so more engaging, even though I'm sure he's not more interesting. I think I have this false belief that I need to be super interesting in order to attract, I need to put more emphasis on being fun and not being too serious. This is not just for women but in general. Now the question is, how to do that ? It's all mental and shit but that's why it's so hard to change. But I'll find a way.

For the 1st time in a month, I don't have any dates coming this week, will probably have another meetup this week end and will try to hang out with the people I met Saturday. It's fun to go out with people. But I don't really know what to do to work on what I mentioned, but having a relaxed week could also be good.

Baby steps is the was forward.
-Habits: Yep, I know. There are many days where I am smoked from the grind and also when I am getting my psyche beat into oblivion from not making the process with women I want to make. Today is one of those days. 20 dates bro, and let me tell you, when you're sitting next to another person telling them you're story and they just disappear into the ether not giving a rats ass, it sucks. Remember I am looking for a connection, so either ghosting or not feeling the connection text week in week out is brutal for my psyche. Motivation for me today is dead.

Geuss what?

Motivation is actually bullshit.

If you think the highest performers in the world are motivated, think again. Two people who I find interesting spell this out well:

Jordan Peterson:


Jordan talks from a clinical perspective on the importance of moving forward in agony. When you are truly defeated, and life is almost hell, this is when you must simply endure. You must simply press forward in total agony.

The habits, the processes, the structure, you must simply do it and do it with enthusiasm, totally feigned, totally manufactured. Like you are playing a role. Because the truth is, consistency and productivity is about conditioning.

It's about simply making yourself do it, not because you want to, but because you understand you need to train your brain for greatness.

"If you can make yourself do the things your brain does not want you to do, on the other side of that is greatness"
-David Goggins

Watch this video from DG, I have seen this countless times. The way he explains it is brilliant.



The journey is a journey into hell. Darkness, darkness, self doubt, misery, suffering, pain, mental and emotional turmoil, but on the other side of that, is light. On this journey you go into hell but get to heaven.

YOU HAVE TO GO OFF SHEER FAITH WHEN MOTIVATION IS DYING

SHEER FUCKING FAITH

I can't allow you to skip, I can't allow you to coast, because I would be no friend to you if I did that.

SpongeBob, bro, greatness is your birthright and you are fucking awesome as a human.

What you are sharing is NORMAL and is part of this process.

We have ALL BEEN HERE.

Even the guys who are successful, they have been here. Trust me, they have. Sit down and talk to them and they will tell you their story. Many of the guys here had to put in their grind. Many. I remember Manganeilo putting in a year and a half of work before his first lay, and then it took off for him. His equation was getting the looks right and then he got online dating on point, it seemed to take off from there. I remember many weeks of Crisis doing cuck volume in approaches. He broke through.

I was pushing for 12 god damn years just to get my first lay.

All this creates trust in the process and creates the savage drive that is needed for greatness.

We all have our own equation and for some of us, it is a fucking complicated ass equation.

But point being - THESE DIPS ARE A CALL TO LEARN MORE ABOUT YOUR EQUATION

When I had mad outbursts, I had to learn stoicism and emotional control. When I feel hopeless, like I am feeling today, totally defeated, I learned to flip that and turn it into aggression - "fuck you, I will keep hammering, and if you want to stop me you're going to have to fucking kill me". Your psyche changes in subtle ways in this journey, and often the times of true darkness are what are required for you to learn the lesson you need to learn.

Right now I am in a terrible position of getting dates, a fair few, but they are going abso-fuckin-lutely nowhere. The feeling of a chick just sitting there not giving a shit about you is not nice. I do not like that feeling bro.

What is your dip telling you right now?

My thoughts: perhaps this is a lesson in how to execute during low motivation and fallow periods. Perhaos this is a call from the universe to teach you how to push on in total agony. When it hurts.

Motivation is genuinely bullshit. Process that.

"When the wind chill hits their face, a motivated person goes inside and says it's too cold to run today. A driven person goes inside, puts on a jacket, and says "OK, it's minus 10 today. I'm going for a run""
-Davidd Goggins

It's true. Motivation is bullshit. If you need motivation, you will never realise your true potential.

DRIVE is what we must find. It is DEEP inside us. Just introducing this idea to you, you will find your own path. This is my view.

In sum: process gets results. systems get results. Your habits are sacred. Success is just a culmination of small actions taken daily. You know this. We both know this.

Get back, reload, re-engage, and go on the attack.

(2) OLD is dry

Yep.

Mine was for MONTHS.

I am a stubborn dickhead and kept hammering for MONTHS without matches and any receptive leads.

Radical met me and basically said do new pictures THIS MONTH. Rags2Bitches doubled down and sent me the game plan via FB messenger.

I showed the photographer Rags2Bitches reference shots, she made the work.

The next day, everything on the apps changed.

Hinge leads got way stronger with more numbers coming in, Bumble went from nothing, ever, to up to 20 matches for a boost.

You are WAY ahead of a dog like me in success with women, you know that, I say this just as your friend: OLD being dry is a CALL TO ACTION.

Gain more muscle, change style, think of new concepts for photos, speak to the community and gets us to think about a way forward. Then take new pics when viable. There is a Netherlands group, you Matt BigBrach, get together and do pics!

I have gained muscle, lost fat, and will be doing new pics on Sunday with Timmy and my bros in London.

And I am going to do a professional photoshoot again maybe in June.

OLD has to be dry for you to take the next step on your journey. Guys like Andy did new OLD pics every month. That psycho outworked us all.

(3) Way Forward / Baby Steps

YEP

Taking me back to the first part, bro, you need to put the habits and processes back in right now NO EXCUSES

Even if it sucks, you need to do it, because in that, there is growth.

Sometimes tough love is necessary and you will give me tough love many times on this journey too.

There is NO EXCUSE to not put the effort in. None. Because in putting the effort in, even if you can't see it on the surface, its changing your brain. It ma take months to come to the surface, but it will. Do you know how good it felt to hear everyone say I have changed since my 1st interview with Andy?

You will keep growing, you will keep achieving. You are getting dates which is more than I could do for so long as you damn well know.

With love, with respect, and with appreciation for you - I would love to see you go out there and give 'em hell.

In this to the bitter end with you.

Show them your teeth, let them know you are prepared to die for this.

MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
User avatar
SpongeBob
Posts: 300 | Thanks: 216
Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2021 7:53 pm
Goal: Build a fulfilling life
Age: 30

Thu Mar 10, 2022 5:59 pm

Hey @MakingAComeback, thanks a lot for your post. You're definitively right about the motivation and the drive. I know 100% that motivation ain't shit. I'm not blindly following it. Often I'm not motivated to go to the gym, I go anyway. I wasn't motivated to go out last saturday, I went anyway. I'm not really motivated to hit the OLD apps, I still do.

I do love Peterson and Goggins, but find their view and way of phrasing stuff too extreme sometimes, I believe there needs to be a balance with some lighter view where all is not only suffering and pain but also as Andy said, you don't have to (only) suffer to reach your goal, you're allow to enjoy the process and have fun with it.

Regarding the OLD being dry, I should have been more precise, I'm talking about when I don't pay for boosts. When I do, I usually get a couple of matches. But your post kind of motivated me to try something else, I sorted my financial issue and bought some boosts from Bumble (which actually is the only apps that didn't got me any date yet) and will see how that turns out. I used a couple of boosts 2 days ago, and got a couple of matches. Also, one of the guys has a DSLR camera, I'm going to see if we can arrange a shooting all together next week. Thanks for the suggestion!

You also made me think about the drive, some time ago, someone posted something about having a mission (I think it was @HomelessBob ) and now you're making me think about that again. I think that's something that I lack, a mission, a sense of purpose behind my actions that go deeper than just "I want to feel good". I'll have to think about this more clearly and to keep this as my main focus.

Thank you MAC
Post Reply