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The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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Thebastard
Posts: 408 | Thanks: 255
Joined: Thu Jun 11, 2020 7:16 pm
Goal: ....
Age: 18
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Location: ....

Thu Jan 06, 2022 1:17 am

£30k profit from bitcoin? Wow. She is doing that futures derivatives trading presumably. Hope she uses stop losses ;)
For my free 2016-2017 Golden Eagle Project pdf with commentary, PM me

2023 Goals
Sort my shit out
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Sin Silver
Posts: 227 | Thanks: 109
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 9:03 pm
Name: Silver
Goal: Build a career
Age: 34
Motto: You're responsible for your own happiness
Location: UK

Sat Jan 08, 2022 12:22 pm

I'm writing a yearly review today which I should have by tonight, but I'll drop you both an update on the FL girl and on Money bags so I don’t forget.

The FL girl, despite what I thought was going to be an easy second date, flaked on me completely when I tried to arrange a time. She got back in contact with me a month later saying that she was having mental health issues and wanted to make up for it by taking me to dinner. Still being a student at heart I can't say no to free food, so I went to meet her. I wasn't intending anything to come out to, but as it's a small community I live it, especially of the FL circle, everyone knows everyone, so it's good to maintain a reputation as a good person. On reflection, I don’t think there was much I could have done here.

As for Ms.Moneybags, despite being very talkative right up to our first date, she completely ghosted me when it came time to arrange our first date. I was disappointed when this happened, but I’ve come to realise that that on FB dating, about half my matches are with asian girls from the exact same area. On top of that, some of them also have the exact same words written in their bio, so on reflection, I’m reasonably certain she wasn’t real.

All and all, 2021 wasn’t a big year for dating for me. With Covid and lockdown lasting until May, I knew it wasn’t a I knew it wasn’t going to be a good year, So I’ve been spending my time elsewhere on other self-improvement areas that will make dating easier, and help me work towards my other life goals.

That being said, 2021 was a good year for my sex life, and when I’m able to finish writing my 2021 review, you will find out why.
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Sin Silver
Posts: 227 | Thanks: 109
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 9:03 pm
Name: Silver
Goal: Build a career
Age: 34
Motto: You're responsible for your own happiness
Location: UK

Sat Jan 08, 2022 1:45 pm

Silvers 2021 review!

I’ve concluded that I suck at reflective writing. I’m great at building routines and sticking to them in general but reflective writing is a hard one. I’m going to start by writing monthly reviews of what’s going here in my life, as a weekly/daily isn’t going have much interest to report on. To try and kick start this, I’m going to have a recap of 2021, then I’m going to discuss what my long-term goals are for 2022, followed goals for January 2022.

2021 review!

Just a bit of a recap of who I am and where I am. I live the remote parts of the UK over an hours away from the nearest city. I work as a scientist, and whilst I love my job, I still feel I have a lot of room to grow, and a lot of weaknesses I’d like to address. I am anxious however that regardless of how hard I work, I’ll never earn the amount of money that I could if I was jump this ship and look greener pastures elsewhere.
Before I started my current job, I moved in with my parents. This was a hard decision weighing paying minimal rent and living in a supportive household, vs the independence and sexual opportunities of having my own place. Thankfully, with hindsight I made the right choice as I would have never gotten the full benefits of having my own place during Covid. On top of that I know have a good £16k saved up over the last two and a half years now to start looking at buying a new place.
When it comes to dating, I consider myself definitely better than average with women, but living rurally, and with my parents, and in the middle of a global health pandemic has made my dating incredibly hard for me these last two years. I’ve prioritized dating the last two years so I can focus on areas which are more appropriate at the moment. I made some amazing achievements this year in the field of my sex life, that I should probably use to start this review with on a high note:

Sex Life:
I had my first threesome this year! I only slept with three different girls, but the last two I managed to sleep with both on separate occasions, and then once together, which is still mind blowing for me.

I started the year of dating a girl who lives about an hour and a half away from me, which is far from ideal, but I live rurally, and I always play the cards I am delt. She asked to break it off for personal reasons early March, and I wasn’t that hung up over it. She was great in many ways, but at heart I didn’t see a long-term relationship coming from it.
Now onto the highlight of this year, the threesome! I met both girls at a festival, and without going out my way to flirt or pull, I managed to sleep with the first one there and then at the fesitval, and get invited caravanning with the second.

I started seeing the first one regularly for a short whilst afterwards, and we formed an Dom/Sub relationship that I was very eager to explore. When I went caravanning with the Second, I was open and honest with her about my relationship with First. After a few drinks I showed her some of the videos of me and First that I had permission to share, and at that point the sexual tension was so think we couldn’t help but make out. We started sending pictures and videos of us having sex and making out to the first, who got really into them and started pushing us for more and sending videos of herself back.

About a month later, I was able to arrange a trip for me and the First to go stay the night at a posh hotel in the hometown of the Second. We went out for a couple of drinks with the Second, and after listening to two really hot girls talk about how great I am for an hour, me and First took Second back to our hotel.

I’m not going to go into the details of my first threesome (unless you REALLLY want to me to) but I can say without a doubt it has done wonders to change my perspective of myself and women. I didn’t rely on and strategy, pick up techniques, or 3D chess moves to get this to happen. All these events we’re reaffirming of my character, my honesty, my social skills, and my modesty.
Since then, I’ve had to break it off with First as she’s pursing a LTR with another guy. Our relationship whilst intense was purely BDSM, so whilst I’m disappointed there was not much I could have done.

I’m still on good terms with Second, but she lives with rather far away, so I’m unable to see her as much as I’d like.
2021 can be viewed as a quality over quantity year with the sex life

Fitness and health:
I really wanted to get back into dating at the start of 2021, but I knew it would be hard it would be hard with my current living situation and Covid. I decided to turn my attention to my health and physical appearance, knowing it be a huge step in improving my attractiveness. Starting in April, I cut my average daily calorie intake by around 400 Kcals, and started hitting the gym 4 to 3 times a week. In May, I measured in at 14stone, and at the beginning of October, I weighed in a t 12st 3.3lb, a total loss of 24.7 pounds. I didn’t even thin I had that much to loose, but I did, and I looked great!(See pictures at the bottom of this post)

I have since then been on the bulk. I’m back up to 13lb, but I am notably fitter and stronger in the mirror. My stomach and waist is remarkable thin, and my chest is notably large. I know where small sized T-shirts and shirts, and I look great in them.

Improving my personal best sat the gym has never been my main goal but here’s a brief record of how far I have come by picking apart some key exercises since I started to bulk.
October
Machine mid backrow 120lb x 8
Flat Dunbell press 22kg x 12
Leg press = 80kg x 15


In comparison, my latest reps have been.
Machine mid backrow 140lb x 8
Flat Dunbell press = 26kg x 12
Legs press = 110kg x 10

These are notable improvements across both my pull, push and legs sets, which I’m very happy with. My PT who set my work outs for me at the start is a body builder, so set most sets are in the 10 to 15 range, which makes it harder for me to compare my PB’s to most people who always quote in single lifts, not in reps of 15.
I’m not sure if this is fast or slow progress, but it is progress. I appreciate any feedback on how to best monitor this, and will continue to post monthly updates.
Career and work
One of the most notable changes at work this year is having a new line manager that I work a lot closer with. He has been acting as my mentor and coach, allowing me to discuss any problem or stupid question I may have. This has been fantastic, as it allows me to get constant feedback and I can have someone else monitor what I am doing. I’ve had comments saying that I come across as much more confident at work.
Whilst I am a scientist, I have come to realize that the biggest roadblock to my future career progression isn’t going to be my scientific or technical skills, but my leadership and professional. I’ve therefore taken courses on leadership and am reading plenty of books and other topics on it. I plan to start continue implementing more changes at work which I can monitor and control, and review them monthly. The plan being that I can make changes that will improve my leadership, productivity, and strategic thinking, track these changes, and reflect on them.

Conclusions
OH boy, I said I was going to talk about my long term and short term plans for 2022 at the start of this post, didn’t I! This draft is already nearing 1,500 words. So I’m going to end this here for now, in order to break up the writing process.

Me in April
thumbnail_IMG_2847.jpg
Me in October
thumbnail_IMG_4046.jpg
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Sin Silver
Posts: 227 | Thanks: 109
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 9:03 pm
Name: Silver
Goal: Build a career
Age: 34
Motto: You're responsible for your own happiness
Location: UK

Sun Jan 16, 2022 1:26 pm

So, my new goal is to make every second weekend of the month a review weekend. On it, I’ll setting out my plans for the month in terms of personal improvement and reviewing and reflecting on the previous month’s goals. With that sid, he is my plan for this month.

Work

I struggle a lot with paying attention and focus at work. My work is far from a high-pressure environment, so it’s easy to get distracted and get little done. Therefore, these will be the actions I will be taking to improve on that.
• Time management: I will break each working day into roughly four quarters. Two before lunch, and two after. The goal is to try and set extremely specific goals for each quarter. These will not be as simple as ‘I will work on x document, or y project’, but more specific to the point of ‘I will finish chapter n, in document x’. Having more tangible goals when I’m working will hopefully keep me on track.

• Cutting back on social media and reddit: I start work relatively focused, but when I hit sticking points, faces small challengers or get frustrated, I quickly find myself turning to social media and other websites for distraction.These two are by far the worst websites for my distraction. I keep finding ways to block them, only to later find ways around them. My solution to this is to keep a tally in my dairy every time I go on one of these websites. This tally will act as a reminder for every time I mess up.

Love and Dating

I really need to make a habit of dating more, otherwise nothing happens. I consider myself good with women these days, but it doesn’t matter if I don’t actually get myself in front of them. I live rurally, and just going out and finding attractive women isn’t easy. Therefore, here are my plans.
• Take a tone of pictures of myself: I need new pictures for the dating apps. I’ve improved my physical appearance a lot since I last updated a picture and need to get some new shots. When I’m dressed up nice for some upcoming social engagements, I’ll make sure to ask for some.
• Go to more social engagements. There are certain social meet ups for people on the Fetish scene about an hour away from me that run once a month. I am going to make a habit of attending these monthly, as they’re a great opportunity to speak to people.
Health and Fitness.
I’ve made wonderful progress since I started back in May, and I plan to keep continuing with it, therefore, my goals this month are.
• Continue going to the gym regularly: I go to the gym 4-6 times a week already. I basically go every day after work, or after breakfast at the weekends, assuming I haven’t been three times in a row, or have another engagement


Misc.
Here are a few other goals that I feel are going to be important:

• Pod cats: I found Andy’s inner winner show on spotify. My plan is to listen to it every day on my drive to and from work. I can do this without any major difficulty, I just need to get in the habit of it.
• Reading more: I plan to keep reading self help books in order to expand my mind and open myself up to new ideas. My goal this month will to read a book on mindfulness my friends mum lent me.

With that said, I'll be back here on the weekend of the 12th of Febuary for a recap, watch this space!
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HomelessBob
Posts: 85 | Thanks: 15
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2021 6:19 pm
Goal: Build a business
Age: 32
Motto: Set goals, study up, perfect systems

Sun Jan 16, 2022 2:43 pm

My dude! UKer of the same age here, consider me subscribed your progress seems amazing.

Couple of questions:

Any tips on fetlife? How is it vs the swipe apps? It's on my list to investigate at some point.

You live pretty remotely, do you travel out to meet dates or do they always travel to you? I don't drive so I'm wondering if I'm missing out by keeping my attention focussed on 10 miles around my place.
Goals:

1. Start 1-2 online businesses and go part time with my main gig

2. Get to being decent again at OLD

3. Get to being *chefs kiss* at tinder (with a 'lil coaching)
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Sin Silver
Posts: 227 | Thanks: 109
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 9:03 pm
Name: Silver
Goal: Build a career
Age: 34
Motto: You're responsible for your own happiness
Location: UK

Sun Jan 16, 2022 6:25 pm

Britons unite! Following fellows Brits is always good as our advice/problems is always in the best context. I'm In Wales, where are you roughly?

I don't actually use FL for messageing people directly, I use it best for staying in conact with the various events and meets held across the UK.

I travel to them mostly. Where I live isn't the most exciting place, plus I live with my parents! Not ideal... but it's a critical financial decision.
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HomelessBob
Posts: 85 | Thanks: 15
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2021 6:19 pm
Goal: Build a business
Age: 32
Motto: Set goals, study up, perfect systems

Fri Jan 28, 2022 7:59 pm

Yea I hear you can save like crazy, If it works it works.

South of England for me, there's a few really densely populated cities and all different flavours too.

So do you attend some of the FL events and network there? I've heard of guys using it as a dating website but I've also heard that doesn't go down too well from others, so mixed things all around.
Goals:

1. Start 1-2 online businesses and go part time with my main gig

2. Get to being decent again at OLD

3. Get to being *chefs kiss* at tinder (with a 'lil coaching)
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Spider Jerusalem
Posts: 1157 | Thanks: 562
Joined: Mon Oct 11, 2021 9:51 am
Name: Spider
Goal: Get Big. Get Dangerous.
Age: 28
Motto: YOU'RE GONNA CARRY THAT WEIGHT.
Location: Thailand (I Wish!)

Fri Jan 28, 2022 8:23 pm

@Sin Silver

Fellow Brit here 🇬🇧 Midlander over by Birmingham - thought I’d drop in and say hey 👋

Good to see a few of ya’ll on the forums! ⬆️

Regards,

Spider 🕷
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Colossus
Posts: 42 | Thanks: 18
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2022 4:26 pm
Goal: Evolve
Age: 26

Fri Jan 28, 2022 11:10 pm

Fetlife is not a dating website. And the more thirsty dudes who use it as such, the more the women on there become wary, guarded, and jaded.

To find more meets and human interaction is its purpose. Not to add to the newbie numbers game.
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HomelessBob
Posts: 85 | Thanks: 15
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2021 6:19 pm
Goal: Build a business
Age: 32
Motto: Set goals, study up, perfect systems

Sun Jan 30, 2022 12:38 pm

Colossus wrote:
Fri Jan 28, 2022 11:10 pm
Fetlife is not a dating website. And the more thirsty dudes who use it as such, the more the women on there become wary, guarded, and jaded.

To find more meets and human interaction is its purpose. Not to add to the newbie numbers game.
Yea suspected as much. I even attended one of thier gatherings a number of years back, seemed more just like a social meeting group with a shared hobby. Not even a social circle dating thing just a hobby group. Nice bunch.
Goals:

1. Start 1-2 online businesses and go part time with my main gig

2. Get to being decent again at OLD

3. Get to being *chefs kiss* at tinder (with a 'lil coaching)
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Sin Silver
Posts: 227 | Thanks: 109
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 9:03 pm
Name: Silver
Goal: Build a career
Age: 34
Motto: You're responsible for your own happiness
Location: UK

Sat Feb 12, 2022 4:25 pm

Good to hear form my fellow Brits!

@Spider Jerusalem I did my PhD in Birmingham. Those four years were my first time living in a city and I loved it. Birmingham is such a fun and friendly city, at least the parts I lived in.

@HomelessBob I also lived in Southampton for a few months. Really nice down there, but SO incredibly expensive. I'm living back up north at the moment.

I use FL right now mostly for organising and attending in person events. I live in a remote location without many people, especially people my age, so I really have to go the extra mile to go and see people if I want to be social.
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Sin Silver
Posts: 227 | Thanks: 109
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 9:03 pm
Name: Silver
Goal: Build a career
Age: 34
Motto: You're responsible for your own happiness
Location: UK

Sun Feb 13, 2022 2:25 pm

Time for my promised monthly review. January has been hard emotionally. I’ve been feeling tired and stressed a lot the time, which has been really affecting my focus at work. I don’t know why, but I expect it’s the crap weather, and all this awful news about prices going up and living standards going down in the UK. Despite this, I’ve been maintaining some key habits with very little will power which have kept me moving towards my goals, and shows how effective and powerful habits are.

• I’m in bed and asleep by eleven, and the up by 6:40 during the working week.
• I still make protein rich scrambled egg for breakfast, rather than skipping and making toast.
• I’m still at work, organised and ready to go on time.
• I’m still going to the gym following my usually routine, even on days I REALLY don’t want to go. The worst
thing I do is keep my headphones on when I’m working out. I prefer to keep them off to keep me more focused and engaged, but they help maintain my mood when I’m feeling shit.

My PB’s at the gym are slowly getting better, and you will find a indetail break down in the next post. I kept them separate just to trim this already large post down.
Now for a reivew of the habits I was trying to improve on last year,

Time management:
I set myself the goal of giving myself specific goal each day at work, and I believe it’s working. Following this new habit, I’m finding my performance is strong in the morning but begins to faulter in the afternoon. For this month, I want to keep up this habit, but set the goal of reviewing my goals after lunch. I’ll see if this additional planning helps me stay focused.

Regarding social media, I still find myself jumping onto reddit and facebook whenever I find myself getting frustrated, or needing to take a pause in my work. Even if I delete the apps, I just open them through browser. Rather than try to fight this problem head on, I’ll attempt to use the improved goal setting mentioned earlier to keep me focused and motivated


Love and Dating
I have been asking people to take pictures of me when I’m out and about. It felt akward at first, but once I learnt to be honest with myself and ignore the shame, it’s really to just ask ‘Hey, I want some pictures for my sdating apps, do you mind taking some pics’. None of them have come out that well so far, but hopefully as I take more, I’ll be able to learn more and give people better direction.

I went out one big social public engagement this month, and also went to visit some friends in person as well, both events I really enjoyed. With Covid restrictions finally come down it looks like you can finally go to pubs and clubs and ‘mingle’ with strangers. This month, I’m setting myself the goal of going out by myself at least twice. I’m not sure what my goals will be beyond ‘have fun’, but we all have to start somewhere.


Gym:
So, whilst it felt like gains this month have been slow, this monthly recap shows I have made quite a bit a lot of progress! I’m seeing gains all across the board. I’ve his 3 x 15 reps on the squats, and gone up several weight categories in the push and pull exercises as well. The mentor has corrected some of my technique on the pull exercises, so I’ve had to jump down the weight category in some areas. This is rather frustrating, but it’s definitely the way forward. For this month I will keep up the same routine and track my progress.

All in all, this is really good, despite feeling like shit and not being bale to get of FB/reddit at work, this has been good progress. The weather’s looking better, I’ve tickets to some up coming social engagements, and the Sonic movies out in a month a half. Things are looking good.
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Sin Silver
Posts: 227 | Thanks: 109
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 9:03 pm
Name: Silver
Goal: Build a career
Age: 34
Motto: You're responsible for your own happiness
Location: UK

Sun Feb 13, 2022 2:25 pm

Also, Gym results...

Legs (11/Jan) > (08/Feb)

Leg Extensions
Hole 13 x 10 > Hole 13 x14
Hole 13 x 11 > Hole 13 x 12

Leg Press
110kg x 12 > 110kg x 15
110kg x 12 > 110kg x 15
110kg x 12 > 110kg x 15

Romanian Deadlift
80 kg x 12 > 80 kg x 15
80 kg x 12 > 80 kg x 10 (tech fell apart)

Lying leg curl
55kg x13 > 55kg x 14 (now extra slow)
55kg x 15 > 55kg x 11

Sitting Calf Raises
(Chance machines, so no comparable notes on this one)

Squats
70kg x 12 > 70kg x 15
70kg x 12 > 70kg x 15
70kg x 12 > 70kg x 15


Push (03/Jan) > (11/Feb)
Incline Dunbell press
22kg x 13 > 24kg x 15
22kg x 14 > 24kg x 11

Flat Dunbell press
26kg x 13 > 26kg x 15
26kg x 9 > 26kg x 13

Pec Deck
85kg x 15 > 90kg x 13
85kg x 10 > 90kg x 13

Seated shoulder press
16kg x 15 > 17kg x 15
16kg x 14 > 17kg x 13

Dunbell Side raises
8kg x 15 > 8kg x 15
8kg x 15 > 9kg x 12
8kg x 11 > 9kg x 10

Straight bar tricep extensions
120lb x 15 > 120lb x 15
130lb x 10 > 120lb x 15
130lb x 8 > 130lb x 11


Pull (08/Jan) > (02/Feb)
ISO High Row
50kg x 14 > 50kg x 8 (now extra slow following advisors advice)
50kg x 8 > 50kg x 8

Lower pulley seated row
Hl8 x 13 > Hl7 x 10
Hl8 x 12 > Hl8 x 12

Machine mid back row
150lb x 6 > 120lb x 8 (now extra slow)
150lb x 5 > 120lb x 8
150lb x 6 > 120lb x 8

Close grip pull down
60kg x 15 > 65kg x 15
60kg x 15 > 70kg x 15

EZ bar bicep curl
25kg x 12 > 25kg x 15
25kg x 12 > 25kg x 15
25kg x 10 > 25kg x 11

Dunbell hammer curls
12kg x 12 > 10kg x 15 (now done extra slow)
12kg x 10 > 10kg x 12
10kg x 12 > 10kg x 9
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HomelessBob
Posts: 85 | Thanks: 15
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2021 6:19 pm
Goal: Build a business
Age: 32
Motto: Set goals, study up, perfect systems

Mon Feb 14, 2022 1:07 pm

Nice work man.

Regarding the afternoon dip, pretty normal when it comes to your circadian rhythm. High focus in the morning with a loss of focus and energy sometime early to late afternoon is expected for anyone with a decent sleep pattern.

Funnily enough evidence suggests it's a really good time for coming up with creative ideas because the brain is unfocussed, so it's easier to connect two ideas that a less tired brain would consider illogical,

Personally I use mid arvo time for super easy simple tasks or light idea generation. Or a kickass nap. Noice.

Do you hand your buddies a camera when you're out and about? Or just ask them to camera phone it?
Goals:

1. Start 1-2 online businesses and go part time with my main gig

2. Get to being decent again at OLD

3. Get to being *chefs kiss* at tinder (with a 'lil coaching)
User avatar
Sin Silver
Posts: 227 | Thanks: 109
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 9:03 pm
Name: Silver
Goal: Build a career
Age: 34
Motto: You're responsible for your own happiness
Location: UK

Sun Mar 13, 2022 6:56 pm

Time for the March review! Lets begin with my gym progress. I've been sticking to my work out and dietery routine for the last month, and continue to see progress. I've had to make some major corrections to my technique here and there, so I have back paddled on some weights.

The question is, do I keep bulking or start cutting soon? I have alot of festivals and events come August, so idealy, I want to be ripped by then. I'm currently 13 and a half stone, and I expect I have to get to the sub 12's in order to be abs ready. Thats 21 pounds I would need to shift to reach that weight, and that's atleast 20 to 15 weeks of cutting atleast,

(08/Feb) > (04/March)

Leg Extensions
Hole 13 x14 > 13 x 14

Leg Press
110kg x 15 > 120kg x 13

Romanian Deadlift
80 kg x 10 > 80 kg x 10 (new technique)

Lying leg curl
55kg x 15 > 55kg x 15

Sitting Calf Raises
60kg x 15 (New machine

Squats
70kg x 15 > 80kg x 12


(11/Feb) > (08/March)
Incline Dunbell press
24kg x 11 > 26kg x 11

Flat Dunbell press
26kg x 13 > 28kg x 12

Pec Deck
90kg x 13 > 90kg x 15

Seated shoulder press
17kg x 13 > 18kg x 11

Dunbell Side raises
9kg x 10 > 10kg x 11

Straight bar tricep extensions
130lb x 11 > 130lb x 15


(02/Feb) > (08/March)
ISO High Row
50kg x 8 > 50kg x 11


Lower pulley seated row
Hl8 x 12 > HL x 12

Machine mid back row
>120lb x 8 > 140kg > 6

Close grip pull down
70kg x 15 > 75kg x 10

EZ bar bicep curl
25kg x 13 > 25kg x 15

Dunbell hammer curls
10kg x 9 > 12.5kg x 10
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