notAndy's AA Program Log - Day 46. Finished :)

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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TheGreySwan
Posts: 34 | Thanks: 8
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2022 5:44 pm
Goal: Approach 1 Fem/Day
Age: 29
Motto: Only dead fish swim with the stream.

Wed Apr 20, 2022 1:04 am

It seems to me that the slap resulted from a fully-justified feeling of exuberance.

@notAndy reached a big milestone, saw an example of the latent power of social freedom, wanted to test the range of that newly discovered power...and did.

@Vice I do agree with you that as a repeated gimmick at a venue kiss-or-slap would have the definite, malodorous whiff of a PUA keyboard jockey testing material from the latest ebook. But as a one-off, it serves the same function as an elaborate endzone dance after a touch down.

Of course, as Andy says, it's all a big experiment. If for some reason this bit works wonders, use it until it stops working.
Lifetime Lays: 75
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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Wed Apr 20, 2022 5:27 pm

Wow, didn't expect this many replies. I really appreciate you guys reading this.
bonzo34 wrote:glad it was an intentional slap
Same. But even if it wasn't, it would have made for a good story and I haven't made enough of those in the past :)
KillYourInnerLoser wrote: When someone gets past Day 21 of the AA program, I usually say it's guaranteed they'll finish it. Good job; you're over that hump.
Keep pushing.
You don't know how much that means. Thank you. I heard you say that in the interview with Brandon and really was scared of day 21 (you know, the usual "what if I'm different?"). It was also one of the reasons to redo the day, since I didn't feel like I was at that turning point after the first time I did this drill.
Vice wrote:So what exactly is the pragmatic application of saying "kiss me or slap me"? Because I'll be straight up with you: that's weird, and the women in the venue notice these kinds of things. Either one of these outcomes happening will more than likely work against you in the venue overall. Is this part of the exercise, or did you set this up as a way to start an interaction?
I don't think there is a pragmatic application of saying that. It was also not part of the program or something I read anywhere else.

@TheGreySwan put it beautifully. I was feeling like I was invincible. In that moment, I had my first real taste of social freedom.
The idea to ask for a slap or a kiss came spontaneously, shortly followed by a voice in my head saying "you can't do that".
That voice had to be quietened.
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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Wed Apr 20, 2022 5:42 pm

Day 22

Hey, Leave.
Hey, Do you know where I purchase suspenders?, Leave.
Hey, Do you know where I purchase suspenders?, My mom says I look good in suspenders, Leave.
Hey, Do you know where I purchase suspenders?, My mom says I look good in suspenders, Suspenders are good idea because I've lost so much weight my pants won't even stay up, Leave.

Challenge 5th Girl: Hey, Do you know where I purchase suspenders?, My mom says I look good in suspenders, Suspenders are good idea because I've lost so much weight my pants won't even stay up, You can see my asscrack, Leave.


Soooo, I've been slacking a little after day 21.

I decided to take two days off. I really enjoyed the break and had to tend to other matters that needed my focus, but getting back into it was harder.
Yesterday I started the drill and couldn't be bothered to finish it, even though it wasn't even difficult.

Today I realized I really have to focus and take this seriously again and - lo and behold - I could actually do what I set my mind to.

The drill was pretty easy. The only thing I initially struggled with was just steamrolling people with all the things I had to say, but I got over that quickly.
Also people are so fucking helpful, it gets annoying at times.

LESSONS LEARNED
- Treating this like an afterthought or similar does not do me any favors.


Last edited by notAndy on Wed Apr 27, 2022 11:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Vice
Posts: 379 | Thanks: 120
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2021 6:22 am
Goal: Hit 190 lbs
Age: 33

Wed Apr 20, 2022 7:03 pm

notAndy wrote:
Wed Apr 20, 2022 5:27 pm
Vice wrote:So what exactly is the pragmatic application of saying "kiss me or slap me"? Because I'll be straight up with you: that's weird, and the women in the venue notice these kinds of things. Either one of these outcomes happening will more than likely work against you in the venue overall. Is this part of the exercise, or did you set this up as a way to start an interaction?
I don't think there is a pragmatic application of saying that. It was also not part of the program or something I read anywhere else.
Okay well, for your long term success I suggest that you try something else, because getting slapped at a venue is a sure fire way to get blown out of the entire venue, and carries zero benefits and is all downside. Women will see it and talk about it, and there isn’t much context in that occurring that makes you look good in any way.

Trust me when I say it’s much better to hear that from someone on a forum vs. learning it the hard way.
Vice's Log (Threesomes, military adventures, online dating shitshow, and shaking off the rust from night game: viewtopic.php?t=739
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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Fri Apr 22, 2022 4:30 pm

Day 23

Ask 10 girls, "Do you know how I can get to Sesame Street?"
Challenge: After you say that and she responds, the challenge is to say- "I'm not a rapist."
Repeat this 3 times, you will speak to 30 girls.


I'm not used to being weird or mess with people, at least not strangers. So there was some resistance I had to overcome intially. Halfway through the drill though, I started to relax, have some fun and became more assertive. In the end I even got some really good reactions. Having fun helps.


LESSONS LEARNED

- Today I really felt social moment build up over the course of the drill. Sometimes it just takes time.


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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Mon Apr 25, 2022 4:02 pm

Day 24 a/b

2x
Ask 15 girls, "What do you want for your birthday?" three times or until they give an answer.

Challenge: "I'll give you a- whatever she said she wanted"



I started this drill on Saturday and due to bad time management from me, couldn't get more than 5 reps in that day.
Yesterday I wanted to finish the drill but there was virtually no one outside.
On Sundays shops are closed where I live and it was pouring which didn't invite anyone to spend the day in the open.

Today during my lunch break I did another 10 reps.
I was surprised by how many people actually took their time to contemplate their answer instead of just walking away or saying "I don't know" (didn't count that) or "nothing" (did count that).

One girl was genuinely curious why I asked her. I decided to be honest and felt quite vulnerable saying that I am not really good at speaking with strangers and women in particular and for the past 30 days or so, I've been doing this social disinhibitioning program to get out of my shell. Her reaction was awesome and she was so encouraging which felt really nice, not gonna lie.

I am not sure why, but I feel some kind of apprehension when talking about doing the AA program with people who are not into self-improvement.
That experience definitely reassured me that I'm on the right track.

LESSONS LEARNED
- There is virtually no AA left when it comes to asking simple questions, even weird ones.
- So many people don't want material things. Most answers I got were intangible things like free time or happiness.
- Being vulnerable can feel good (don't know how I would've felt if she had a bad reaction)


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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Wed Apr 27, 2022 11:21 am

Day 24c

Finally finished the drill. It wasn't hard to do the actual exercises but for some reason it dragged out way longer than it should have.

Not many interesting interactions happened. One girl I stopped just gave me a rude "puh" and walked away. Felt actually pretty good to get an unexpected reaction like that and be completely unbothered by it.
Most answers were along the line of "I don't know", "nothing", "I just wanna meet my friends".

LESSONS LEARNED

- I'm pretty sure, a stranger being somewhat rude to me would have really bothered me a few weeks ago. Now it makes me more curious than flustered or so.

roykingatx
Posts: 109 | Thanks: 5
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2022 5:24 am
Goal: Build sex life
Age: 26

Wed Apr 27, 2022 7:30 pm

Using your log to peak ahead even though I said I wouldn't. Doing "sesame st." tomorrow. Birthday one actually sounds kinda fun.
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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Thu Apr 28, 2022 8:17 pm

Day 25

Hey, What's for lunch?
No seriously, What's for lunch?
No for real, What's for lunch?
Hey, I really need to know, What's for lunch?

* Challenge: I am going to ask you a 5th and final time, What.is.for.lunch?

Repeat this 3 times, you will speak to 15 girls.



Today was not very noteworth. Most people didn't understand my question the first time I asked so I had to repeat myself
once or twice. I usually got an answer or they just walked away. One lady walked past me very slowly and just looked me
in the eyes without saying anything. Who's the weirdo now?

I didn't even get to attempt the challenge, since I got an answer before asking for the fifth time or they didn't stay for
long enough.


LESSONS LEARNED
- Not everyday has great insights, sometimes you just do the drill to do the drill.


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notAndy
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Goal: Prioritize sleep
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Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Thu Apr 28, 2022 8:20 pm

roykingatx wrote:
Wed Apr 27, 2022 7:30 pm
Using your log to peak ahead even though I said I wouldn't. Doing "sesame st." tomorrow. Birthday one actually sounds kinda fun.
I think the "don't peek ahead"-rule is mostly there to not scare anyone away when they are fresh to the program.

You are probably in a position now, where you know that you can handle whatever the program will throw at you, no matter what.
roykingatx
Posts: 109 | Thanks: 5
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2022 5:24 am
Goal: Build sex life
Age: 26

Sat Apr 30, 2022 7:03 am

I mean yea at this point there's no doubt I'm going to do the shit. But I still want to take it generally one day a time. Just to keep it fresh lol.
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bonzo34
Posts: 469 | Thanks: 87
Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2022 2:33 am
Name: Alex
Goal: 50 "made love"
Age: 28
Location: San Antonio TX

Sat Apr 30, 2022 8:40 pm

..
Last edited by bonzo34 on Sun Dec 10, 2023 5:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
dating

resolve job/income

Be an Army Officer

50 lays. 1/50

The first time you quit, it's hard. The second time, it gets easier. The third time, you don't even have to think about it.
be transparent as possible. Stop setting plays. Stop playing chess with life.
you make progress when you face a fear head on
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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Tue May 03, 2022 6:00 pm

@bonzo34 thank you. That one sentence of yours made all the difference.
Day 26 was getting to me way too much and I've been chickening out for the past four days ... it would've been really easy just disappearing, but here I am.

Day 26a

We are going to play a game.
It's called- WHO IS YOUR DADDY AND WHAT DOES HE DO?
READY?
[SHE CAN TALK]
WHO IS YOUR DADDY AN WHAT DOES HE DO?

Challenge: If they interupt you, yell at them- "I'M DETECTIVE JOHN KIMBALL" and restart the drill.

Repeat this 10 times, you will speak to 10 girls.



This day fucking sucked. At least those were my expectations before doing it.
I am not sure what exactly the problem is with this drill, but no other day was as difficult to even get started as this one. Even the ABC drill was easy compared to today.
I was walking around for 35-40 minutes without managing to do a single approach. As mentioned, I've been putting off doing this day for the last four days, which didn't help with the nerves. That only gave me more time to spend catastrophizing.
I also watched Brandon's vlog where he says that this was by far the worst day ... that was probably not a good idea.

Anyways, I do the drills usually during my lunch break and I said, I would not get back to work before doing at least one approach. I did, she was quite open and gave me an answer after asking only once. I had to get back to the office and couldn't do more reps, but I believe that one I did helped me break through all those thoughts I had (it wasn't as awkward as expected, no one interrupted me, no police showed up and arrested me (lol) etc.)

I hope I can finish the drill tomorrow.

LESSONS LEARNED
- DON'T LET YOURSELF LIVE IN YOUR HEAD

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bonzo34
Posts: 469 | Thanks: 87
Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2022 2:33 am
Name: Alex
Goal: 50 "made love"
Age: 28
Location: San Antonio TX

Tue May 03, 2022 7:19 pm

..
Last edited by bonzo34 on Sun Dec 10, 2023 5:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
dating

resolve job/income

Be an Army Officer

50 lays. 1/50

The first time you quit, it's hard. The second time, it gets easier. The third time, you don't even have to think about it.
be transparent as possible. Stop setting plays. Stop playing chess with life.
you make progress when you face a fear head on
User avatar
notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Wed May 04, 2022 8:01 pm

Day 26b

Went out, did a handful of approaches, got one rep out of it. I probably give off weird vibes, since I still don't feel fully comfortable with this drill. I'll try to tackle this with a more relaxed attitude tomorrow.
Getting started was much easier than yesterday, though.

https://youtube.com/shorts/q-Qe2EuRIPE
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