notAndy's AA Program Log - Day 46. Finished :)

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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PinchePendejo
Posts: 209 | Thanks: 74
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2021 3:01 am
Name: Bryan
Goal: Be better
Age: 32
Motto: Be consistent
Location: Los Angeles

Tue Jun 07, 2022 5:18 pm

Good job dude! Now the real fun begins. You’ll feel like the man when you get over the hump of being direct with women.
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bonzo34
Posts: 468 | Thanks: 87
Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2022 2:33 am
Name: Alex
Goal: 50 "made love"
Age: 28
Location: San Antonio TX

Wed Jun 08, 2022 7:32 pm

..
Last edited by bonzo34 on Sun Dec 10, 2023 6:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
dating

resolve job/income

Be an Army Officer

50 lays. 1/50

The first time you quit, it's hard. The second time, it gets easier. The third time, you don't even have to think about it.
be transparent as possible. Stop setting plays. Stop playing chess with life.
you make progress when you face a fear head on
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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Wed Jun 08, 2022 9:55 pm

bonzo34 wrote:
Wed Jun 08, 2022 7:32 pm
nice. will you do day 37 you think?
The completionist in me wants to, I'm not sure if I really need, though. During the week there's not much of a night life in my city so I'll probably do it on Friday or Saturday unless I have better plans.


Day 38b

Today I did the remaining 38 reps. And man, was it a difference from yesterday. I wasn't feeling really super confident in my first few approaches and the responses were mostly lukewarm but once I had to stopped girls things changed. I remember the first girl who was really enthusiastic and gave me an "awwww, thank you. that's so sweet." I was blown away (and felt a bit patronized) by her reaction.

After that I was on a roll. Being ignored didn't bother me at all anymore and all the other reactions were absolutely beautiful.

LESSONS LEARNED
- I am convinced now that sleep (maybe just resting) is essential for change. I can't find another explanation for the profound difference between how I felt today and yesterday.
- All my life I've been walking through a field of flowers. Today they started to bloom for the first time. (yeah, fucking cheesy, sue me)



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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Thu Jun 09, 2022 4:35 pm

Day 39a

Walk up to and stop 10 girls and say "Hey, wait a second- you're cute." and Leave.
Walk up to and stop 10 girls and say "Hey, wait a second- you're cute." say your name and leave.

♥ Refer to "Do What You Want Principle" below (IMPORTANT)

Repeat this 2 times, you will speak to 40 girls.


Today was exhausting. I did 22 approaches and it took me about two to three hours. Got mostly neutral to lukewarm responses with a few really good ones sprinkled in. Not a single negative one.

With this drill, I only approach girls I find really cute (maybe with the occasional exception). I feel I am making things harder than they need to be and I might need to lower my standards.

Also, today I realized how small my city is (population of 100'000 to 150'000). I'll probably go to a larger city tomorrow and see whether that actually makes a difference.

LESSONS LEARNED
- Realized how small my city actually is.

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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Fri Jun 10, 2022 4:13 pm

Day 39b

I made a beautiful discovery today. When a girl is really receptive and I give her a compliment, for a split second or so, something in her cracks and she just melts. It is absolutely heartwarming to witness.

Other than some really good reactions I - again - got some lukewarm and some neutral ones.

One time I decided to say "you're really hot" instead of cute. I wanted to know what that felt like.
To my surprise it wasn't really more difficult. Maybe it was because I wasn't super attracted to her but I felt like the words should get me feel more excited/nervous. I'll probably play around with different phrasings and get plenty more reps under my belt before I make a definite statement.

LESSONS LEARNED
- I can tell a girl "you're hot"

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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Sun Jun 12, 2022 9:50 pm

Day 40a

Walk up to and stop 10 girls and say "Hey, wait a second- you're cute." say your name and leave.
Walk up to and stop 10 girls and say "Hey, wait a second- you're cute." say your name and put your hand up for a high five. Leave after you get a high-five.

♥ Refer to "Do What You Want Principle" (explained on Day 39)

Repeat this 2 times, you will speak to 40 girls.


Maybe 3:30 PM was too late to go out but there the streets were pretty empty. I think Sundays tend to be slower in general because shops are closed but I try to look for things that are in my control to improve my odds. So, next Sunday if I go out, I'll do so earlier and see if that makes a difference.

Still got 5 reps out of it (last one was after recording the vlog). I decided to go for high-fives right away, because why not. Every girl I complimented loved it and was more than willing to give me a high-five.

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bonzo34
Posts: 468 | Thanks: 87
Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2022 2:33 am
Name: Alex
Goal: 50 "made love"
Age: 28
Location: San Antonio TX

Mon Jun 13, 2022 1:21 am

..
Last edited by bonzo34 on Sun Dec 10, 2023 5:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
dating

resolve job/income

Be an Army Officer

50 lays. 1/50

The first time you quit, it's hard. The second time, it gets easier. The third time, you don't even have to think about it.
be transparent as possible. Stop setting plays. Stop playing chess with life.
you make progress when you face a fear head on
User avatar
bluewater
Posts: 39 | Thanks: 1
Joined: Mon Jun 06, 2022 6:35 pm
Goal: build muscle
Age: 29
Motto: Let no one say I didn't try my best

Sat Jun 18, 2022 2:36 pm

Thanks for recording these! I just started the program and going to watch your corresponding videos for confidence lol
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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Tue Jun 21, 2022 8:25 pm

Sooo, I've taken an (unplanned) break but I'm back. Did a few short sessions on Saturday, yesterday and today.
I think I'm at 14 out of 40.

Today I felt weird during the approaches. I was hyper-aware of my facial musculature and couldn't really relax. The three approaches I did felt rather robotic and the responses I got were equally cold (polite but devoid of emotions).

Oh well, let's see how tomorrow will go.

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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Tue Jun 21, 2022 8:27 pm

bonzo34 wrote:
Mon Jun 13, 2022 1:21 am
you got this. every little bit counts
Thanks man, I appreciate that.
bluewater wrote:
Sat Jun 18, 2022 2:36 pm
Thanks for recording these! I just started the program and going to watch your corresponding videos for confidence lol
Good luck and have fun (seriously, this is mostly fun). I suggest you don't look ahead. Just take one drill at a time and don't worry about what will come tomorrow (or a week later).
roykingatx
Posts: 109 | Thanks: 5
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2022 5:24 am
Goal: Build sex life
Age: 26

Tue Jun 21, 2022 8:38 pm

Good to see you moving forward dude! Keep it up.
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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Sun Jul 10, 2022 5:50 pm

First of all I want to thank @bonzo34. He noticed that I hadn't posted in a while and last week sent me a message, offering to get on a call and help me get through this. I really fucking appreciate that man, you're an absolute legend! Thank you.

So, for the past few weeks I've been kinda struggling with this drill. For some reason, virtually every single girl I approached, ignored me, stonewalled me, sneered at me etc.
I didn't know what had changed and why this was such a night and day difference compared to days 38 and 39 which are not much different from day 40.

Chris makes it clear that you're not supposed to care about the reactions you get but, it's really difficult not to care when almost all you get is negativity.
Despite me working on the program almost every day, I didn't finish many reps (being ignored makes it difficult to get a high-five).

However, today was different. For some reason my approaches felt different.
After stopping a girl, I hesitated a second before I told her she was cute. And the words "I think you're really cute" also felt more ... I don't know, vulnerable maybe? Or authentic? And every single woman was really sweet.

I don't know what caused that change. Maybe I was just done with pretending I was unbothered by their responses and that made me actually show some humanity. 🤷

I don't care, honestly. What matters is that I feel like a heavy burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm halfway through the drill and I've got a hunch that it's not going to take me another five weeks to finish it.

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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Wed Dec 07, 2022 8:24 pm

It's been five months since I finished day 40. That drill took me god knows how many weeks. I never recorded another vlog and pretty much dropped the AA Program after that (or approaching in general).

Until today. Day 41 done.

I was somewhat concerned that I would be back to square one. Much to my surprise, calling girls cute was actually the easiest part. What was hardest was getting two high-fives. Actually no, getting two was easy. But thinking about getting two gave me anxiety.
I felt a bit rusty but in general I was at the same level I was at, when I stopped - no, I was doing an even better job. I finished 20 reps in one day, not several weeks.

Chris was absolutely right with what he said. If you beat AA, you beat it forever.

Also, thanks again to @bonzo34 for checking in with me. It took me some time, but here I am.

Peace out

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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Thu Dec 08, 2022 3:54 pm

Day 42a

- Hey- you're cute, I'm [Name], Leave
- Hey- you're cute, I'm [Name], Handshake, Leave
- Hey- you're cute, I'm [Name], Handshake, Time, Leave
- Hey- you're cute, I'm [Name], Handshake, Time, Directions, Leave


16/20 done. I set a timer for 1h and got 13 reps in. Wanted to finish but after another three reps which took me 40mins, I realized I was really tired and won't get anything out of pushing through.

This was probably one of the best days during the program I've ever had. I was direct, very decisive (rarely hesitated) and was way less in my head than I usually am. Realized that AA doesn't exist when you are approaching, only when you're thinking about it.

A few girls didn't want to shake my hand, two outright said "I'm not interested"/"I have a boyfriend".
I really didn't care much about that. Feels good knowing I can handle rejection just fine.

Also social freedom is real. I did multiple approaches with several other people around and the moment I started talking to her, I stopped caring about any bystanders. Pretty cool.

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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Fri Dec 09, 2022 5:31 pm

Day 42 done. Nothing noteworthy happened.
Did set a timer again. It really helps to get me out of my head.

I will tackle day 43 next week.

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