Upstart's AA Program Log

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Wed Jun 15, 2022 6:34 am



The last coupla days I've just been working with my friend on his Kickstarter book. Got paid for my time, so that's cool.
I did one approach with the ABC drill, it was not so bad. I'll try again in earnest tomorrow before Salsa class. I hope to make it to the day 21 drill soon, just to have an excuse to go out at night!

Very few results from Online dating lately. Maybe I should post more pics or better ones, or swipe more. Convos never start or fizzle out, even though I keep it going well on my end.
Got more tweaks to do with what I currently have.
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Thu Jun 16, 2022 5:52 am



I only said my ABC's to ONE woman today. ABCDEFG. She actually finished with "HIJKLMNOP" when I was done. That was cool.
TBH, I do a lot of approaches on older women, because they seem "easier" but it's easy to ask the time from younger, more attractive girls, because there's no chance of looking dumb. I know in time, I won't be afraid of any age group, so I don't beat myself up for going towards "easier targets" for now.

Messaged 30 girls on facebook dating yesterday and swiped 30 times on tinder today. Also downloaded Hinge dating app at the recommendation from a cousin, so I'll give that a shot soon. Bought several great new scents today and I'll be getting a bathroom scale tomorrow. I'm trying to create slightly better habits such as waking up earlier, making more accurate to-do lists, and eating less than I use in calories.
User avatar
Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Fri Jun 17, 2022 8:04 pm



I may be avoiding this drill a bit. I hung out with my friend instead of going out alone for the drill. But he did get a good pic of me in the gym for my profile, so I'll be using that. In other news, I cannot get past the email screen on Hinge for some reason. I can't even register at the moment. So I'll have to find another way in.

It seems that each drill requires one to find a way to make it work for them or to shed a layer of ego to overcome it. I know what I need to do and it just occurred to me how to do it. JUST NOW. While writing this.

If I go up to the girl to say the ABC's feeling foolish and dumb, she will feel the same. Literally reflect it back to me. But if I go up with FULL CONFIDENCE as if I'm telling her a great joke, then it doesn't matter if she feels it's dumb or not.

I will go out today with that mindset and see what happens!

Gym Pic:
20220617_091734.jpg
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Sat Jun 18, 2022 12:51 am



Beat the ABC drill today. The second "wall" I've experienced. Even when I couldn't do it, I knew that at some point, I'd just get through it. I did it so fast today, was still in the same grocery store by the end. I warmed up with a couple of time drills, then did the ABC approach. Just like the high-five drill, I just needed to get over myself mentally, and find way in. To be willing to look like a fool. And for the most part, the reactions I got were mostly laughs, funny looks, or just a funny 'Good job", lol. I would just go up, say, "Excuse me, I have to do this real quick," then just start reciting the ABCs I really cannot wait till I have to tell girls they look cute. I've heard of that drill happening later on, and I can't wait to unlock that level so to speak. Next drill shouldn't be too difficult, I feel like I've overcome a new barrier!


I found a way to get into Hinge through my Ipad, so I'll try that. I think I've got a solid 6 photos for my profiles at the moment. Which I'll be posting soon. I'll hit up some girls on Facebook Dating and Tinder today to see what happens.

On to day 18!
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Sun Jun 19, 2022 2:48 am



It was really nice having an easy drill after the last two couple "hard" ones. But there was a key difference.

I was back to speaking coherent english, no high-fives or ABCs, but because it was back to "normal", it felt like the awkwardness from me or the girls was much less merited. Meaning, when I did the high-fives or ABCs awkwardness was EXPECTED and in most cases funny or weird. But doing this fairly easy drill, meant being in a normal mode of interaction with a bit of more tension and less of a reason to be awkward.

I can't quite articulate it well, but I think I'll understand it more as I go along.

I think putting in my gym pic finally paid off and having a solid 6 pics (the best I've got for now) on my profile really helps.

Did 30+ messages on Facebook Dating yesterday + swiping to the limit on tinder + starting a Hinge account yesterday.
Got a Hinge match, though I haven't swiped yet and 3 facebook matches. I'll wait till after Father's day to contact.

Other than that, went to the gym today, then the liquor store to try out Spiced Rum.

Profile pics below (best I've got for now!):
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Tue Jun 21, 2022 7:06 pm

Quick update: Hosted a barbecue for my dad on Father's Day, came back to my own place and have been working with my friend on comics since then. I'll be working all day today as well. Will continue with the drills soon. Hopefully before the weekend rolls around so I can do the bar drill at night!
User avatar
Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Sat Jun 25, 2022 4:27 pm





Basic summary: Haven't uploaded for a few days, but I have been making vids. Don't really matter if no one's watching, I think I like seeing how much I've grown since I started.
Wednesday: Went to the men's group and talked about learning social cues. To see people listening intently as I speak still surprises me. When they asked what my goal was in finishing this program, I told them I want to feel like the whole world is my own room. That as relaxed as I am in my room is how I want to feel in the world and with women.

Thursday: was "be a piece of shit" day. I did almost literally nothing of substance. Bought some clothes. and not much else. I may have messaged some girls, but that was about it. Played vid games. Ate, drank alcohol, and not much else!

Friday: Things picked back up. I got a lot of traction in terms of Online dating, got some decent message threads going and tried to set up plans for most of them. I may have some dates for next week if I do it right. My photos on my profile are as good as I can get them for now, and I bought some clothes that fit well and make me feel great. I can't wait to go out even more often. No drills yesterday either, but this stuff seems to occur in waves, and today I feel like I can get started on the new drill or even finish it.
But for now, I'll be watching "The Boys" with my buddy.
User avatar
Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Sun Jun 26, 2022 5:20 am



Completed the Day 19 Drill!

This one was not so bad. I took the pressure off by approaching a lot of older women at first, but I sprinkled some very cute girls in the mix. In fact, I asked a couple of girls all 4 questions and they just found it funny because of the Bieber thing and the fact that I'm black, lol. I didn't do the gay voice or the challenge, but I did all 16 girls! I just wanted to get this drill done and move on. If I were more diligent, or really thought this drill mattered in the long run, I go back and do it again, but I really just want to get to the night club drill!

Another thing I learned today is something I've always heard, but it didn't hit me until just now. The drills that are the easiest, (like this one) seem to be the ones that engage a girl's emotions the most. Because it's harder to just ask logical questions with no emotion behind them and "transact" that way, but if you add funny joke like "I'm trying to get the Justin Bieber cut", the girl usually laughs or cracks a smile which opens them up to further the convo. If she doesn't at least smile, it's almost like she's the weirdo, lol. Or I just didn't deliver it right.

On the very last girl I spoke to today, her BOYFRIEND pulled up just as I was finishing the questions. He kissed her on the forehead and stood very close, she was cute too, (but too many piercings for my tastes). Jokes on him though, I was too nervous to steal his girl anyway, lol! I acknowledged him and the girl finished answering my questions. I pulled out and bid them a good day. Maybe I should've acted gay on this one!

Online dating is picking up traction on Hinge and Facebook. I may have some dates for next week. I've also downloaded Coffee meets Bagel and Zoosk, but I haven't signed up just yet.

On to day 20!
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Mon Jun 27, 2022 5:22 am

Quick update: No approaches today, just went to church and hung out with family.

So far, I've gotten two new numbers from Online dating. Facebook: 1, Hinge: 1.
Might have some dates lined up if the calls go well!

I'll be doing the Day 20 drills tomorrow for sure. It's looking mad easy actually!
User avatar
Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Tue Jun 28, 2022 4:43 am



Day 20 was indeed, MAD easy. I barely remember what happened.

Now watch me take 3 weeks to get through the next drill. :?

My main takeaway for today was slowing down in both my approach and in leaving. Before I approach, I tend miss some social cues that make it a bit awkward, such as not noticing Airpods in, or girls in a hurry. Then after the approach, I tend to leave the area very quickly. So today I became aware of that, and went a little slower, and spoke a little louder.

Approached some old, some young & cute, as usual. Now I can hit the clubs!
I haven't been to the bars in my area since my first week here. Now I can try it again, with a good excuse to go.

Been chatting up girls in online dating. It's becoming much easier to text back and forth and lead toward a meetup.
I'm becoming less robotic and even beginning to joke around and be more casual in the text.

On to NIGHT 21!
User avatar
Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Tue Jul 05, 2022 3:26 pm





Been a while since I've posted, but I've kept up the videos! Basically, I waited until Friday to attempt the day 21 drill at night. I was too nervous to make a move in any venue. I wouldn't even call it nervous. Just deep hesitation. I basically have no "in" with this drill. There's no way to do it but to DO IT. I think, what would it look like if a big (ish) black man squeezes the arm of some girl (who's boyfriend is probably around the corner) in a dimly lit bar? I know I can do it if I get socially comfortable enough like I am during the day. So my first step has been to get comfortable going out at night.

I've never been comfortable in the past because I'd be too far from home and could only go out alone since I didn't have friends or acquaintances to go out with. Not to mention what my parents would think or do to me if they found out I was out at clubs and bars (I was 19-22 at the time). Not only that, but I was so focused on becoming the best comic artist it didn't matter much anyway.

I was a man on a mission then.

Now, the mission is beating these drills and finishing boot camp.

That said, I've gone out four times in a row this week so far, including tonight around 1am after the 4th of July celebrations died down.

I wanted to see what the scene was like and where I could park nearby. I've been challenging myself to walk down the street until I find an interesting venue, go inside, and chill there for 10 minutes before leaving. I feel like I should just be able to knockout this drill, but my hesitance prevents me currently. Chris's advice to fight for EVERY inch comes to mind. So it'll take as long as it takes.

I have not interacted online in over a week. I've been fed up with the flakes and just not excited about the possible dates I could be going on. Every prospect who's even remotely interested is usually overweight, flaky, and/or too far away to make much effort. I think I'll start by moderating my distance standards from 25 miles out, to a more driveable distance. I'll start back up tomorrow, and screen more effectively for time wasters. I can't wait to get good at cold approach so I don't have to deal with so much of this online BS.

As for my financial situation, I'm not so worried anymore. It's always been in my head to earn enough to pay off all my student debt in 4 years before starting my "Game journey" at 29-30 y/o. But life demands I start NOW, so there's no arguing with it. My mind instantly goes to full-time job working in the same place so I can make more than enough to pay off college and other bills, but I've realized I don't need quite so much. If I can make just 2k+ per month I should be just fine. I'll pay the minimum on my loans for as long as I want until I decide to be more aggressive about it. One day, I'll be able to pay it ALL of in 2-3 months income. The loans don't worry me really. Never did. I was only worried that I'd have to cut my "Game journey" short to focus on full time work and get back to drawing art. But I'm fine working Doordash or other paying gigs that meet my minimum for the month so I can go on dates and save up for cool purchases in the future, which include:

-A decent camera
-An Occulus VR headset
-Some tatoos
-Earrings

Basically, I have all the clothes I need and my room can't get much more dope than it is, so the rest of the work is in losing fat and finishing the drills, and bringing girls back to the crib. My goal isn't just to sleep with a bunch of girls, it's the social freedom on the other side.
User avatar
Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Wed Jul 06, 2022 4:54 am

Update: No drills today, but I did get some new clothes. I thought I was done buying, but I almost can't help myself. It comes in waves. Without even thinking, I bought a new shirt I wanted online last night.

At 4 am.

I really must be making up for lost time, because I've bought a total of 7 pieces (shirts and jeans) before this. Everything else was from good ol' mum.

Today, I got some joggers. They fit WELL. I swiped my limit in both Tinder and Bumble before switching to Hinge...which was GARBAGE in terms of choice. I swear, the algorithm is sending me 3's (at best) on purpose. To me, the body of a big fat bitch shows me a lack of discipline and willingness to take care of one's self. There's more leeway if they're pretty though.

Facebook dating was better by a lot actually. I lowered my distance range to 20 miles so I can at least feel somewhat compelled to go out. Other than that, I'm currently studying fat loss and looking into possible odd jobs I can do to meet my monthly minimum, which may be $2500 to account for taxes.
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pancakemouse
Posts: 1768 | Thanks: 1052
Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2021 4:14 pm
Goal: Master cold approach
Age: 33

Wed Jul 06, 2022 11:12 am

Upstart wrote:
Wed Jul 06, 2022 4:54 am
I swiped my limit in both Tinder and Bumble before switching to Hinge...which was GARBAGE in terms of choice. I swear, the algorithm is sending me 3's (at best) on purpose. To me, the body of a big fat bitch shows me a lack of discipline and willingness to take care of one's self. There's more leeway if they're pretty though.
This is a bug, you can work around it thusly:
https://pancakemouse.wordpress.com/2021 ... not-alone/
User avatar
Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Wed Jul 06, 2022 4:24 pm

pancakemouse wrote:
Wed Jul 06, 2022 11:12 am
This is a bug, you can work around it thusly:
https://pancakemouse.wordpress.com/2021 ... not-alone/
Hahaha! You gotta be kidding me! :)
I thought I was going crazy. Thanks man!
User avatar
Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Thu Jul 07, 2022 3:03 pm


Went out and ran some errands today. Returned some clothes I found for cheaper at Goodwill. Went to the gym with my buddy, my fit was fresh as fuck. Today was leg day. Then we went to Salsa and danced with a bunch of cute girls.

I've been bringing him along on some of my growth journey. He stays indoors a lot, yet is more social than I am. He used to be creeped out when I said the point of going to Salsa for me was to get used to touching girls, but today he understood why. He said it's been so long since he's touched a girl or been touched by a girl in a normal way. Someone who wasn't his mom or sisters, etc.

I felt less nervous today when dancing because my buddy was there, and I spoke to the girls much more easily. I asked one girl to dance before I bounced. We danced for quite a while and she was very nice and talkative. I didn't make any moves to get her contact info (snap, insta, or phone#) because I'm not there yet. But because I didn't pressure myself with what I wanted, I could focus on the dance more clearly and hear what she was saying without trying to push for an outcome.

I don't usually stay long after the lesson, because I don't see how that would get girls in my bed any quicker. Most girls come with their boyfriends or husbands anyway. I started going to salsa before the AA Program, so my original goal was to get comfortable enough with women to eventually date and sleep with them.
Now my main focus is beating AA.

I'll be starting day 21 again tonight, but this time I must stay in a location for 20 mins or choose 2 locations for 10 min each and just do the drill when I see an opening. If I can do one rep, I can do em all!

Gym fit:
20220706_144130.jpg
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