Upstart's AA Program Log

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Fri May 20, 2022 3:23 am

- My goal and only goal for the next 3+ months is to beat approach anxiety.

- Because that is my ONLY #1 goal and I care a lot about it- I won't try to balance it with anything other than going to work/school/gym.

- Since I'm not trying to BALANCE it with several other goals, I will have more than enough time to do the drills.

- I agree to FORGET ABOUT GETTING LAID (for now).

- I will DO THE DRILL as it is written and leave.
- I will DO THE DRILL as it is written and leave.
- I will DO THE DRILL as it is written and leave.
- I will DO THE DRILL as it is written and leave.

- I will NOT turn the drill into an 'indirect' approach and get deflated if it doesn't go well.

- I will also start a POF (or OkCupid) account and use GLL's or Rooster's guide because I understand that giving myself some online options will decrease my neediness.

- I will check in on ~daily basis, documenting what day I'm on, what I plan to do and if I did it.

- I understand that doing a Vlog will only help me be more accountable and get better results.

- I will stop ONLY WHEN I have beaten 90-100% of my approach anxiety. (~3-5.5months, @Level 7).

- I will see this through or get professional help for my anxiety and do it again.
I, Upstart, agree to all of the above.


Last edited by Upstart on Sat May 21, 2022 2:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
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notAndy
Posts: 110 | Thanks: 67
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2022 8:03 pm
Name: Mo
Goal: Prioritize sleep
Age: 31
Motto: Every great life has a great renunciation

Fri May 20, 2022 8:19 am

Upstart wrote:
Fri May 20, 2022 3:23 am
Also, how do I embed this video so that it appears here?
Just post the YouTube link like this (without the space after //):

https:// youtu.be/VIhN8RUvhEQ
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Sat May 21, 2022 5:52 am

Honestly if this forum didn't exist, I don't think I'd take this program so seriously.

I gotta learn to shorten my vids. I tend to forget events when trying to recall them off top. I probably won't redo vids at all.



Video Summary:

I went the gym. I used to avoid cute girls like the plague, now I can easily workout next to them. Though I still think about it. I think eventually, it won't even occur to me and I'll even be able to ask some out. But baby steps, here.

I manage to ask one of the girls I worked out next to where the ab machine was. I was a little nervous. She wasn't bothered. We finished our sets at about the same time. So I had an opening. But I knew I looked good. I wore a form fitting black shirt a cap and decent grey shoes. Before, my gym clothes consisted of white beat-up old Nikes, graphic tees and grey shorts. :?

Went to the mall for some T-shirts, no approaches, just looking good, walking with good posture, maintaining eye contact and walking around. Left empty handed, lol.

THE MAIN PART OF TODAY: I read GLL Rooster's guide to POF https://www.goodlookingloser.com/more/a ... -of-fish//

I use Facebook Dating because I can actually message girls first and I've already been using it.

My main takeaway was copy/pasting the messages instead of tailoring each message. I usually message 10 girls a night and feel pretty tired by the end of it. But this time I TRIPLED that and honestly could have kept it going if I wanted. I can't wait to see how many responses I get tomorrow even though it might be none. I usually get 1-2 responses from messaging 10 girls a night, tho.

My copy/paste message today was:

"Hey [name], nice pics. You seem chill I like chill 8-) . What have you been up to?"

Sent 30 of those. We'll see the result tomorrow.

I attached my profile to the post. Most of the photos are 2-3 years old. GLL requires posting our profiles for review or some such, so here.


I'm gonna do the time test tomorrow. We'll see how that goes. I tried the GirlsChase newbie program, but pivoted half to GLL's AA program. I like that it includes online dating! And Andy made it seem like the benefits were so steep, I basically couldn't resist. So this is my "job" for now. How I'll make money in future? Who knows?

How hard can asking for the time be?
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pancakemouse
Posts: 1769 | Thanks: 1053
Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2021 4:14 pm
Goal: Master cold approach
Age: 33

Sat May 21, 2022 7:23 am

You're tall, in shape, and above average attractiveness. This is a good start, now you can make some small tweaks to present yourself in a more attractive manner online.

I would remove the mirror selfie, the photo with excessive flash, and the one where you're sitting down with your buddy, and the lamp snapchat photo. Leave the rest AND add the profile photo you're using on here.

I would also unlink your Instagram if possible because it doesn't portray you in an attractive light.

I would consider using Tinder instead of Facebook Dating, which has bottom of the barrel girls in most US cities.
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Sun May 22, 2022 5:09 am

pancakemouse wrote:
Sat May 21, 2022 7:23 am
You're tall, in shape, and above average attractiveness. This is a good start, now you can make some small tweaks to present yourself in a more attractive manner online.

I would remove the mirror selfie, the photo with excessive flash, and the one where you're sitting down with your buddy, and the lamp snapchat photo. Leave the rest AND add the profile photo you're using on here.

I would also unlink your Instagram if possible because it doesn't portray you in an attractive light.

I would consider using Tinder instead of Facebook Dating, which has bottom of the barrel girls in most US cities.
Thanks man! Changing that right now. Is the bio alright or too much?
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Sun May 22, 2022 5:16 am



Killed the first drill today. I asked 11 girls for the time. 5 when my friend was with me, 6 alone.

-I notice that I'm nervous, but speak clearly enough. Could work on vocals though
-I notice that I'm bracing for the girl's reaction (I'll be clenching slightly, or slightly turned away.)
-I wore decent clothes and had good posture so I wasn't worried about that!

Results from messaging 30 girls on facebook. Drumroll......

1 response! :cry:

Going to try Rooster's "What would you say makes you different from other girls?" (modified for my personality) to follow up.
I will message 30 more tonight to see what comes up tomorrow. And start up Tinder.... AGAIN. -_-
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Mon May 23, 2022 5:29 am



I still don't know how I'm gonna make money, yet. Worst comes to worst, I'll get a job where I can keep up social interactions.

I've been spending like water on room adornments, necessities, and clothes. I feel like I've got everything I need in terms of clothes and I really like what I have to work with.

As for DAY 5, I beat that fairly easily as well. I started with three approaches in Goodwill ending with a cute girl complimenting me on my shirt. I actually felt I was dressed too well for what I'm mentally used to wearing. Had a button down and a chain on. (Pictured below.) I felt a little like a celeb. One girl even smiled wide before I said anything!

IRONICALLY: I find the cuter girls a bit easier to approach in this exercise because I only need the time, so what's the big deal? Haha!

I went to the next Goodwill and approached 5 more women very quickly. All different ages. Somehow most didn't have the time and one didn't speak english, lol. I finished off by approaching two more women, buying a shirt then leaving. Gonna try a tailor for the first time to size it down tomorrow.

RESULTS from tinder swiping and messaging 30 more women on facebook dating:

NADA!!!

I was hoping to go out with my cousin and a buddy to take good photos today but both had to cancel. I found a fantastic Instagram profile that shows how to take good photos: https://www.instagram.com/mr.dasante/

On to Day 6!
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pancakemouse
Posts: 1769 | Thanks: 1053
Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2021 4:14 pm
Goal: Master cold approach
Age: 33

Mon May 23, 2022 1:37 pm

Upstart wrote:
Mon May 23, 2022 5:29 am
I've been spending like water on room adornments, necessities, and clothes. I feel like I've got everything I need in terms of clothes and I really like what I have to work with.

As for DAY 5, I beat that fairly easily as well. I started with three approaches in Goodwill ending with a cute girl complimenting me on my shirt. I actually felt I was dressed too well for what I'm mentally used to wearing. Had a button down and a chain on. (Pictured below.) I felt a little like a celeb. One girl even smiled wide before I said anything!
Good outfit. I feel like if you dressed it up a little with some Chelsea boots it would be a MASSIVE improvement. Zara has some for cheap, or New Republic (though I don't like there's as much).

Also, ever considered a fedora? Darker guys are pretty much the only ones that can pull off stuff like this:
Image

As far as Facebook Dating I forget how it works but I think the opening message is basically useless. You might as well just like a photo.

It's unlikely you will get much from online until you drastically improve your photos. The bio is fine but bios essentially don't matter compared to photos.
User avatar
Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Tue May 24, 2022 3:14 am


Good outfit. I feel like if you dressed it up a little with some Chelsea boots it would be a MASSIVE improvement. Zara has some for cheap, or New Republic (though I don't like there's as much).

Also, ever considered a fedora? Darker guys are pretty much the only ones that can pull off stuff like this
Appreciate the input, pancakemouse! I already got them Chelsea boots on deck. Just haven't found much occasion to wear them, until now. For headwear, I mainly have dad hats. I can look like a pro golfer if really wanted. I'll consider a fedora if I find the right one.

Day 6.
15 girls seemed a little daunting at first, but once I got out there I was more relaxed.
I left at 2pm finished around 6pm. Most of my time was spent running errands and changing locations.

Notable interactions:

-The second girl actually froze up trying to figure out the location I was asking for I joked about it. Told her it was okay if she didn't know, then left. Very cute girl though. Had freckles on her shoulders.

-Another girl (who I asked all three questions) actually said goodbye to me as she left the store. I was behind her in the checkout line. Just interesting to note.

-Asked the time from a lady I would describe as "porno hot". Then left.

-Some woman's baby was looking at me funny. I said "He's looking at me like I owe him money!" Had a short, fun convo about that, parted ways.

-I accidentally tried to open someone else's car door which looked a lot like mine. I told some random I guy I had the wrong car. He told me about a time he actually went INTO someone else's car before he realized it wasn't his. He didn't get caught though, lol.

-Some girl FINALLY mentioned I had a watch on when I asked for the time! I ignored that as she pulled out her phone to give me the time.

-I had one girl basically say she didn't have the time though I could see her watch and knew she had a phone, but it wasn't a NEGATIVE experience. My mind was ready to categorize it as such, but I quickly remembered that the next girl could easily be chill and willing to help me out and this one was probably just busy. As DAVID X says, you NEVER have to care about what a woman is thinking. You'll never know anyway.


TAKEAWAYS:
-I'm beginning to see how this simple exercise could indirectly lead into a pickup approach. (Not that I'm trying to.) The convo basically starts when the girl answers the third question willingly. You can basically say anything after that.

-IT REALLY REALLY HELPS TO TAKE SEX OFF THE TABLE.
It is such a weight off my shoulders. In the past, the desire for a sexual outcome put too much pressure on me to succeed so I rarely ever went up to anyone! I can approach most girls now, because I only have to remember the drill, do it, then leave.
I don't have to remember a bunch of pickup tactics, like push/pull, DHV, stacking, demonstrating intent, etc. etc.
Chris is genius, but I might be cursing his name when it comes to the more challenging drills, lol.

-I found two great fragrances I'm going to go back grab tomorrow.
Pictured below. Haussman Boulevard and Gentle Elsatys. The lady told me the Gentle has the same notes as the Sauvage, but cheaper. My current best cologne is a Jet Black Reserve I got for Christmas and I was looking for similar scents. Woody, not to sweet, not too spicy. The Gentle smells like SEX. The longer I smelled it, the more turned on I felt, oddly.

*Side note: I found the Gentle online for much cheaper, so I don't know if that one is different -or weaker- than the more expensive one at Fragrance Outlet.

-I found a 100% brown leather Aeropostale jacket at Goodwill for $17.98. Fits me well. Getting it cleaned will be $55. Apparently real leather is super expensive and hard to maintain. I think after cleaning I may either hold onto it or sell it, I dunno.

-I tamped down my outfit today. Simple black shirt with a chain. I feel like I'll really get used to these clothes when I no longer have to think about what I'm wearing. But I do have more than enough to mix and match. And I have gold frame, clear, James Oro Authentic II glasses coming in soon. I wore my cousin's once and they were all feeling it!

RESULTS from yesterday's Facebook Dating and Tinder Swipes:

2 Matches on Facebook. Will follow up.
5 "mystery" likes from Tinder. (Pay for GOLD to see them.) Fuck off. -_-
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Wed May 25, 2022 4:35 am



Killing your inner Loser is like a death by a thousand cuts. Each cut kinda hurts, but YOU still die. Or the current version of you which you are convinced that you are.

The AA Program is also like going to the gym. I would classify the approaches as reps that are a part of a set. There being 5 sets with 3 reps each.

Nothing too notable happened today. I just remember being more nervous than yesterday and playing videogames to kill time. I was really in my head until I walked out side and there was a girl right outside my door. I immediately went over to ask her for the time. She noticed I had a watch. I said it was broken, lol. I asked her a brief question about her dogs and bid her a good day.

With the first approach out of the way, I was able to relax a bit more and psych myself up for the rest of the day.
Took way less time than before, I was out from 2-5pm so, not too bad.

I went and bought three good-ass fragrances from the mall. Black Storm, Mercedes-Benz Club (Black), and the GENTLE Elsatys, the killer I will use when the time is right.

I went to sleep before I messaged any girls last night, so no results there. Still have to follow up with some.

Another note: Porn is losing the luster it once had. It's so artificial. Just a simulation I can't touch. Seeing so many women IRL on a daily basis and working towards the goal of actually sleeping with them, makes porn seem less enticing in general.



...I mean, I'm still gonna watch it, but you know what I mean.

On to week 2!
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Thu May 26, 2022 3:23 am



I'm DEADASS thinking of giving up art for a period of time. "Good at drawing" has been my main defining trait for the longest time. The biggest part of my identity. Until recently, I've been using it as a means to getting money, experiences and eventually pu$$ay. When I became consciously aware that I've been using it as a means to an end, I lost 90% of my motivation to keep drawing.
Now I'm cutting out the middle man and heading straight for the end goal.

Though, after reading this article on GLL I'm considering a job in sales...
https://www.goodlookingloser.com/laid/f ... t-start=10

DAY 8

Nothing too notable here. I went straight into it. The first woman I saw was talking to a desk clerk, so I went straight to the next and asked her for the time. It was in my favorite bookstore which is now closing! Funny how things like that happen just when you no longer care.

Main highlight: I saw a girl in black short short shorts, petite, bit of cheek meat hanging out. and I tracked her down in the store and asked for the time. Sounds creepier than it actually played out. She seemed a bit busy, which was alright with me. I did my drill and bounced.

I'm starting to relax more in the interactions, I'm surprised when girls want to talk to me a little longer than I mean to stay!

As for tinder/facebook dating I just spoke with a girl from Facebook and it was kinda chaotic since she was just coming out of a party, but we managed a decent convo. It seems like the logistics are weak on this one because the midpoint for us both is an hour away. She's busy this week so I suggested a time for next week. In the call, I was saying Friday, but I may move it up to Tuesday depending on my sched. No other match has been interested to the point of giving me their phone number yet, so I count this as a win whether the date goes off or not.

On to Day 9!
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Fri May 27, 2022 8:35 am



Day 9

I always have mild anxiety attacks in the morning, which calm down when I get "infield". I'm starting to feel I can go up to almost anybody and easily ask for the time. I know I'm looking good and am starting to speak more clearly when I approach.
Today wasn't hard at all, really. I'm pushing through the exercises until I get to a day which is becomes a wall in my progress.

-I'm beginning to increase my vocal tone, and it's becoming easier to simply ask women for the time and even more if I want.

-This may be the 3rd time I've had to use the word "tiempo" to ask the time of a Spanish lady who didn't know inglés.

-I noticed a woman on the opposite escalator to me and a couple buddies, and I felt instinctively pulled to reach out and high five her. But my buddies were in the way, so I didn't. I did all my exercises alone, btw. I just joined my friends later on in the day.

I still tend to get nervous and bail when I have to ask a cute, but busy-looking girl the second question. But the second question is always a good lead-in to the third. Have to learn to ignore the fear of possible negative reactions!

On to day 10!
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Sat May 28, 2022 5:13 am



I'm beginning to care a little less about women's reactions to me. They're usually positive, neutral, busy, not interested, or can't speak english.

All I know is that I'm doing my job:

-Looking good
-Speaking clearly
-Drill, then leave
-Smiling, or at least not frowning

I knockout the first girl as soon as a leave my car, then the rest are easy. I aimed to finish the drills much faster today than usual. In fact, I got them done within two hours today. I was actually looking for more action afterward. The first day I had 15 girls to approach it took from 1-6pm. Today, from 2-3:30. An hour and a half. And there was very little anxiety the morning.

I'm so glad that I finally have a structured approach to conquering this fear. It beats the hell out of wandering around aimlessly trying to work up the nerve to talk to a girl, hoping it magically works out.

Online: Got a new match on Tinder, sent message not response, yet.
Long distance dating prospect is looking for a time next week. Not looking too strong.
Sent a meet up message to 4 different girls after 3 or so exchanges. No response yet.

I wanna get some Red Puma's tomorrow.
I sometimes think its so stupid to want to buy all these stupid clothes, just to put my stupid penis and someone's stupid vag. But if I wasn't doing this now, I'd just be wondering about it while I draw stupid pictures with no life experience behind them. In the end, they're both equally stupid, but ultimately connected.

Seriously considering a door-to-door sales job... when I start working again. I'd like to get laid before then though.
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Sun May 29, 2022 3:38 am



No, (fat) bitch I didn't ask about your husband, just about your cell phone. :|

Got some weird responses that made me feel less eager to approach. Some woman literally ran away as if I was trying to sell her something/pick her up. She was older and not a looker. Another just flat out ignored me on the last question. Got ignored a couple times actually, but it wasn't SO bad because,

1. I KNOW I did my job.
2. Being Nosy > Being a Pussy. And I'm killing my inner pussy as we speak.

One thing that made me see the other side of this is when a salesman came up to speak to me and I basically said "Sorry, I'm good." (not interested) and went on about my day. Some women do the same with me, but we both move on and hardly remember the interaction even if it wasn't positive.

I also noticed that if I stand still the woman will just walk off before I finish my questions, so I naturally started getting in closer, speaking a little louder and a little quicker. I even walked alongside one woman for a few steps before finishing my questions.

I spoke to one girl who I only asked for the time, but I could tell would be interested in more if I wanted to try.

Been feeling lazy with the swipes. I want to get better photos ASAP.

I'm starting to invest a little more into this process, but I haven't fully dived in quite yet. My old habits and thought patterns are dying off. It's so easy to put more work into something you're already so good at (art), than to pivot to a new skill you clearly suck at (this).

I've never had six pack abs, but I can see myself losing fat soon, I can see myself wanting to go out to bars and clubs just to further my progress, I can see myself taking better photos, I can see myself getting a sales job just to improve my social skills. But It won't happen all at once, and right now, I'm using this AA Program to build a solid foundation for all the rest.

On to Day 12!
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Upstart
Posts: 92 | Thanks: 32
Joined: Thu May 19, 2022 4:50 am
Name: Ken
Goal: BEAT AA
Age: 27
Motto: Surpass one's self.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Contact:

Mon May 30, 2022 4:20 am



Just did some basic time drills with my cousin today. He's 18 and just coming out of high school, so I had to show him a way to approach women outside of school.

I'll do the actual drills tomorrow when I'm ALONE, but on a side note, I finally found those red PUMA's I was looking for. I don't know why I've been obsessed with them, or what I'll do with em, but I love em already.

We took some pictures in a park using Mr. Dasante's posing tips:
https://www.instagram.com/mr.dasante/?hl=en
But I took some great pics of him and he took okay pics of me :?. I found a few that I like, but I can't decide which to use on my FB Dating/ Tinder profile.

Messaged 30 more girls on FB Dating and did some lazy swipes on Tinder. I just don't place as much stock on Tinder, but it'll take time. I've got the number of a girl from FB dating today. Called, no answer. Trying again tomorrow.
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