Brandon Builds - The Last Night w/ Bumble Girl... or is it?

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Bman
Posts: 810 | Thanks: 1234
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Sun Sep 04, 2022 1:22 pm

This week’s reflection

Solid week this week.

Lessons Learned this week:
  • Dates: Building a date stack based on modifying Krauser’s Daygame Mastery date model. Think it helped with the 2 lays this week, but too small a sample size to tell. For the other dates with no pulls, need to still improve ending the date when I feel I’m done or not interested.
  • Beetroot powder: Works wonders for making you hard as a rock. If I take it too late in the day though it warms my body up too much and hard to sleep.
Weekly Stats:

Dates
  • Sunday: Rescheduled – Had work emergency
  • Tuesday: Rescheduled – On her period
  • Thursday: Rescheduled – she apologized by sending me nudes, how sweet
  • Friday: Date; no pull – she was going to a concert right after our date. Setup 2nd date.
  • Sunday: Date; no pull – was not that into her, vibe was off
Sunday
  • Hinge: 60 DMs, 4 Matches, 2 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0/1
Monday
  • Hinge: 23 DMs, 2 Matches, 1 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Tuesday
  • Hinge: 35 DMs, 2 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Wednesday
  • Hinge: 35 DMs, 1 Matches, 1 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 3 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Thursday
  • Hinge: 36 DMs, 1 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 3 Matches, 1 Numbers
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Friday
  • Hinge: 36 DMs, 2 Matches, 1 Numbers, 1 Date Scheduled
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Saturday
  • Hinge: 38 DMs, 3 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 1 Likes, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Apps

Because I was so booked from number farming last week, I did not boost or reach out to 100+ girls each day. Instead I did about a 1/3rd just to trickle in a few leads in case previous ones dry up. Still have girls I need to schedule after returning from trips and a couple to aim for FWB retention, so continuing to do low volume.

Tinder: No boosts or swiping; few matches here and there.

Hinge: Still messaged about 30 girls on averages per day which resulted in match per day.

Bumble: Rearranged/updated my picture to see if I can start to get more leads coming from here.

Dates

Monday: Tried out a date stack I’ve been building for myself based on Krauser’s Daygame Mastery model. Felt it worked out well. Lay report here: viewtopic.php?p=41635#p41635

Wednesday: Did the same stack. This girl is gets pretty anxious, but a solid 8 and very feminine which I really like. Would really like to make this one a FWB. Lay report here: viewtopic.php?p=41764#p41764

Friday: This girl was going to a concert right after which through off the escalation stack I’d been trying earlier in the week. I also didn’t really feel like trying to squeeze in a quickie with her being as I already got laid earlier this week. So I figured I would aim for locking in a 2nd date. Date went well and think there will be a 2nd date after she returns from her trip to Milan.
However, what I want to improve on is cutting the time on the date once I have had my fill. I have written about this before, but with women that are more talkative and extroverted I hesitate to interrupt to end the date. It’s horrible habit from childhood and my dad just rambling on forever and me just feeling like I had to listen. Now that I have been on several dates, I can feel at about 45 mins my energy levels start to drain. If I go over an hour I start to get more quiet, checkout, apathetic and definitely not vibing. With this date I didn’t know when to end because I was not trying to pull. I should have ended when I felt done. Don’t think it hurt my chances with this girl, just something I want to improve.

Saturday: Following from what I mentioned above, I should have ended this date way earlier.
We matched on hinge, she seemed decent looking, was poly and normally a dom but looking to be more sub. She was pretty receptive, even booking a week out.

When I got to the coffee bar and met her, I was only semi attracted to her. Decent body and face was ok. I was trying the date stack again, and in the convo in the beginning was decent. Probably 30 mins in I tried pulling, to which she replied “not today, I don’t think I have fully figured out if you’re a serial killer or not.” Just rolled it off and continued on with the conversation. Then came the a waterfall of what felt like shit tests pretty much questioning every part of the way I live my life, asking why I live a certain way, why I think I’m dominant, what my situation is with other girls. She even asked what my typical first dates are like and my pull rate.
It was really a big turn off, but I was amused by it and just answered every question straightforwardly in a matter of fact tone, practicing just being comfortable with who I am and saying that to her. Of course looking back now it would have been a good time to practice pressure flipping so she was qualifying and not me or just ending the date after the no pull.

She told me she has another partner now that is a married guy that is a sugar daddy and pays her to use a strap on and fuck him in the ass. And that she usually attracts more submissive guys. Overall she has a more masculine energy and enjoys the dom role but said she wanted to try being more submissive.

The date went for 60 mins, but I should have ended much earlier, especially after the gut feeling of only being semi attracted in the beginning. I tend to give benefit of the doubt and see if I will build more attraction as the date goes on. She seemed decent enough for ONS, but not for the energy commitment of overcoming shit tests. She said she was attracted to me and wanted to plan a second date, but honestly I’m not that interested. I clearly got the vibe check wrong here.

Dates Next Week
Date scheduled today from the girl who sent nudes as an apology for needing to reschedule. She lives far away and has a shitty work schedule so it’s been difficult to get her pinned down.

Nothing scheduled yet on other days. Need to ping the girls back from trips this week and setup retention lays from the girls this week.

Cold Approach

No approaches this week. Busy with dates.
Public Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1397
Year 1: viewtopic.php?p=49033#p49033
Year 2: viewtopic.php?p=66924#p66924

"Absorb what is useful. Reject what is useless. Add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee
User avatar
Bman
Posts: 810 | Thanks: 1234
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Sun Sep 11, 2022 1:01 pm

This week’s reflection

Was sick early this week and got over it mid-week, so didn’t focus too much on getting dates early in the week.

Lessons Learned this week:
  • Scheduling Girls after Trips: I have had zero luck with getting girls scheduled after they come back from a trip. Will push harder in the future to get the date before they go.
  • Double Booking Dates: Did my first double book this week, but I booked them both at 6 at the same place. What I should have done was offset them by an hour and at different places.
  • Trying out Feel’d: A date last week mentioned the app and said there is a scene here in ATX so giving it a go. So far have one date scheduled from it.
Weekly Stats:

Dates
  • Saturday: Rescheduled; she had work emergency
Sunday
  • Hinge: 51 DMs, 3 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 1 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Monday
  • Hinge: 16 DMs, 1 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 1 Likes, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Tuesday
  • Hinge: 55 DMs, 1 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Wednesday
  • Hinge: 83 DMs, 3 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 1 Boosts, 6 Likes, 3 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Thursday
  • Hinge: 100 DMs, 7 Matches, 1 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 3 Matches, 1 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 2 Matches, 1 Number
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Friday
  • Hinge: 100 DMs, 2 Matches, 1 Numbers, 0 Date Scheduled
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 2 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 1 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Saturday
  • Hinge: 31 DMs, 2 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 1 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Apps

Tried setting up dates from leads from last two weeks that were girls coming back from trips. Some engaged the ping text, others didn’t. But didn’t seem to get any out.

I think tracking stats has really helped me to create a system that fills my calendar. If I have a ton of leads I drop the volume. If leads start drying up, I return to high volume and fill the pipeline.

Tinder: Just one boost this week which didn’t return anything great.

Hinge: As my leads dried up I went back to messaging a 100 girls a day, as the schedule fills I drop back to 30.

Feel’d: Trying it out based on a date’s suggestion from last week. So far I have matched a couple girls and scheduled a date. Maybe when my Tinder subscription goes up I might pay for a month of Feel’d and see how it returns.

Dates

Friday: 2nd date straight to the crib and Lay #10: viewtopic.php?p=42272#p42272

Saturday: Double booked for 6 with two girls. Sent the confirmation text in the morning to the hotter one. Didn’t hear anything all day. Unfortunately I made the rookie mistake of booking them both at 6 at the same place. I was afraid they were both going to show up at the same time, so I rescheduled with the less hot one. Then finally got a text with the hotter one an hour before saying she needed to reschedule. So I could have went out with the other girl, but I already cancelled. Rookie moves, lesson learned.

Dates Next Week
Date scheduled Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday next week.
Public Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1397
Year 1: viewtopic.php?p=49033#p49033
Year 2: viewtopic.php?p=66924#p66924

"Absorb what is useful. Reject what is useless. Add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee
User avatar
Bman
Posts: 810 | Thanks: 1234
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Sun Sep 18, 2022 11:23 am

This week’s reflection

Pretty uneventful week. Had one date. Would like to work more on my kino during dates. I still get nervous about touching girls during the date.

Weekly Stats:

Dates
  • Friday: Date; no lay – she had herpes so I said no.
  • Thursday: Rescheduled
  • Friday: Canceled
Sunday
  • Hinge: 100 DMs, 4 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Monday
  • Hinge: 55 DMs, 2 Matches, 1 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 1 Likes, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Tuesday
  • Hinge: 20 DMs, 2 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches, 1 Numbers
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Wednesday
  • Hinge: BANNED, 50 DMs, 2 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 1 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Thursday
  • Hinge: 61 DMs, 6 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches, 0 Number
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Friday
  • Hinge: 100 DMs, 8 Matches, 0 Numbers, 0 Date Scheduled
  • Tinder: 1 Boosts, 4 Likes, 2 Matches, 1 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 1 Matches
  • CA: 0
Saturday
  • Hinge: 130 DMs, 8 Matches, 1 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 1 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Apps

Ran out leads at the end of this week. Tried pinging old leads but did not get responses. So time to ramp up the volume and number farm next week.

Tinder: Have not really got anything passively on here. Could probably still use some more photo updating. Just one boost this week. Will boost more next week.

Hinge: Had my account banned again. If anyone reading this gets their’s banned, follow this process. Done it twice now and confim it works. Nice part is I get a hard reset. Shitty part is Hinge’s algorithm that shows you less attractive girls first, so you have to wade through a bunch to get to the gems later.

Feel’d: No new matches, but sitting on 12 likes I can’t see till I pay (or match). I’ll drop 10 bucks after letting them stack up to go through them.

Dates

Wednesday: Matched on Feel’d. Kinky girl. I actually matched with her on Hinge the night before the date and did not recognize her. She messaged me and asked if we were still on for tomorrow. Played it off by telling her I didn’t recognize her on hinge without her collar (she was wearing one in her Feel’d profile). We had some witty banter back and forth and date was still on.
She actually showed up early and messaged me while I was walking to the bar. It’s a nice change of pace to have girls show up early. I have only had 2 other girls show up early and I slept with both of them. Seems like a good sign of investment. She was reading a book while waiting, so I started the convo talking about books. Did my stack of body language being disinterested in the beginning and even disagreeing with some of her points. Then about 15 mins in, turned my body towards her, slightly brushing her legs with mine, and conversation turned towards sex. At about 30 minutes I was about to go for the pull, but she let me know she had herpes, she takes the meds for it and not on an outbreak, but said she understood if that was a deal breaker. I told her it was, and since it was a deal breaker (and we wouldn’t be having sex) I was going to call it a night but it was really nice to meet her. I felt kinda bad because I ended it so abruptly after that, clearly showing I was only there for sex. But that was truth, and I was just respecting both my time and hers.

Thursday: Rescheduled. This girl lives like an hour away and has been a pain to get over.

Friday: Canceled. She said she had a super shitty week and was not going to be able to give me her full energy. Tried to do Mr.V’s “come out, it will make you feel better” but no cigar. Probably a bs excuse, but will try to reschedule. Not holding my breath through.

Dates Next Week

I have been trying to get Wednesday Girl over again. After getting a response from the “I had fun” text, I had sent her a ping a few days after we hooked up but got no response. Figured I was being ghosted, but would send one more ping. Waited about a week and half and sent her Playing with Fire’s “Happy Friday” Ryan Gosling ping which she replied to but then tried to start a conversation and got nothing back. I know she gets anxious and is a people pleaser, but if she was ghosting why do the nicety of replying again? Regardless, I’m going to send one final one just asking if she is free on day and time. She’s hot, which is the only reason I’m following up so many times. If she does ghost, on to the next.

Nothing scheduled yet. Have a second date I need to schedule which I feel actually has a good chance of.
Public Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1397
Year 1: viewtopic.php?p=49033#p49033
Year 2: viewtopic.php?p=66924#p66924

"Absorb what is useful. Reject what is useless. Add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee
User avatar
Holden
Posts: 1620 | Thanks: 562
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2021 1:36 pm
Goal: Rotation
Age: 28

Sun Sep 18, 2022 11:33 am

Bman wrote:
Sun Sep 18, 2022 11:23 am
Playing with Fire’s “Happy Friday” Ryan Gosling ping which she replied to but then tried to start a conversation and got nothing back.
I used to do this as well like a year or so back, but I ran into the same trouble as you. Girls reply to the meme but don't keep up the conversation after that.

Re-engagement is really difficult. The only thing that works semi-reliably in my experience is texting girls while I have an IG Story running of me being out with another girl. And that still isn't foolproof (there's no guarantee she'll check your story)
Laycount: 100

My Log

Primary goal:
- Rotation of three girls (DONE)
- Regular threesomes (DONE)
- A foursome
User avatar
Bman
Posts: 810 | Thanks: 1234
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Sun Sep 25, 2022 6:34 pm

Holden wrote:
Sun Sep 18, 2022 11:33 am
I used to do this as well like a year or so back, but I ran into the same trouble as you. Girls reply to the meme but don't keep up the conversation after that.

Re-engagement is really difficult. The only thing that works semi-reliably in my experience is texting girls while I have an IG Story running of me being out with another girl. And that still isn't foolproof (there's no guarantee she'll check your story)
I don't use any other social media other than LinkedIn. So shit out of luck there. I think I read in your log somewhere though that you have recorded videos of girls and sent it to other girls before. Might give that a try in the future.


This week’s reflection

Before getting into this week’s reflection, just want to say thanks to the community and of course those who started it. Sometimes when I’m alone about to go on a date or out cold approaching by myself, I look at the other people and think “nobody else is doing this”. Then I think about the rest of you guys in your separate cities all doing the same thing. It’s cool to read some of your guys’ stories and know that we are all putting in the work across the globe.

Ok, enough with the flowery kumbayah. Let’s get down to business.

Weekly Stats:

Dates
  • Monday-Thursday: Shit time trying to get girls scheduled.
  • Friday: Canceled. Wants to reschedule, told her I’ll get back to her next week.
Sunday
  • Hinge: 107 DMs, 4 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 2 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 3 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Monday
  • Hinge: 60 DMs, 2 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 0 Matches, 1 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 1 Matches
  • Bumble: 1 Matches
  • CA: 0
Tuesday
  • Hinge: 94 DMs, 1 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 2 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 1 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Wednesday
  • Hinge: 100 DMs, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Thursday
  • Hinge: 30 DMs, 1 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 3 Matches, 0 Number
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Friday
  • Hinge: 75 DMs, 3 Matches, 0 Numbers, 0 Date Scheduled
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 2 Likes, 1 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Saturday
  • Hinge: 56 DMs, 3 Matches, 1 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Apps

Tinder: Still garnering passive leads occasionally without doing any swiping. Nice to have girls message me so direct like this:
Please.png
Date set for Monday.

Hinge: Still tried and true app for me. Hit heavy volume in beginning of the week and slowed down as I started getting dates scheduled.

Feel’d: Racking up likes here. The vibe here is different than on Hinge. On Hinge most people are vanilla, so when I open with the BDSM script it stands out. But on Feel’d that’s the majority so it’s less effective. The girls conversations on here are more engaging though and they write a lot more in their bios. So I’m going to try openers that are more tailored to each girl, as I have a lot more to go off than the standard 1 sentence Tinder Bio.

Bumble: Feel like my profile is too edgy here. Might try not leading so hard with the BDSM to see what happens. The quality of girls I see on Bumble seems higher, so would be nice to get a few leads coming in from here. Hinge is great because I can message first and lead with intrigue. Getting a girl to message first on Bumble is like pulling teeth.

Dates

When scheduling dates I pushed them out to the end of the week because I was trying to leave the beginning open for a 2nd date with a girl coming back from Milan. I feel confident in pulling on the 2nd date with her, so was trying to go for the sure thing. But she works as high profile business consultant and had to go run workshops in Chicago right after she got back.
Tried getting some other girls scheduled but nothing panned out for those days.

Friday: Canceled. She was “having a bad week”. Maybe she was maybe she wasn’t. I don’t know. She suggested rescheduling and still seems down to go out. I told her I’ll back to her next week. I already had dates scheduled.

Saturday: Lay 11: viewtopic.php?p=43124#p43124

Dates Next Week

Monday with the girl from the Tinder message above. Was supposed to have another one Wednesday but she literally just cancelled as I was writing this post. Grateful she cancelled early so I can fill the spot.

Cold Approach

Because I actually had a free night without having a date scheduled (I know, what a problem to have) I thought I would go do a CA session. It’s been a while since I have been out, so the AA creeped in and I didn’t end up doing any approaches. The first one is always the hardest, then I start getting in the groove. But couldn’t even muster the first.

The excuses I told myself before did not show up. Instead they were along the lines of “what’s the point, she probably has a boyfriend/fiancé/husband anyways” as has been 90% of responses I have received in my approaches. While that may be true, it does not matter. It’s still the same AA.

With the volume you can do online, and relative effort it takes, it’s just more efficient. But that means I’m not hungry to approach. Also, when I was first approaching I was not yet seeing much traction online. If I’m going to actually get over AA and meaningfully learn CA skills I am going to have to it consistently, not just when I get a free night.

My ultimate goal with all this is to get laid. I’m doing that online. But I also enjoy the confidence and social skills I’ve gained from CA which have poured over into networking (more on that in a minute). So I still want to give it attention.

My initial idea is to possibly set aside one week of every month and one month of every 3-6 months where I don’t use online at all and go out to approach. This way I’m still having some periods of time where I consistently focus on it.

Networking

So right now I’m grinding on the startup. Revenue will take time to come with that. In the meantime, I wanted to start making some extra income to put into stocks and crypto during the dip. So I decided to start doing freelance web design again. Except instead of hunting for clients, I want to build a completely referral business with this.

I inadvertently started a 365 day project because each day I have been sending one email to a contact I have not spoken to in a long time just to see what they have been working on and how I may be able to help. In literally the first email I sent, a connection of mine referred me to a nonprofit that needs 5-10k project done. Already have had the discovery call and sending the proposal Monday morning.

But this also prompted me to want to start networking in person again. I started doing this last year, but honestly was shit at it. I was fine at holding conversations, but mr.introvert did not want to approach anybody or be that sociable.

Well this week I went to one and it was a world of difference. Was a small gathering of entrepreneurs and was sort of like a book club where we discussed a bunch of nonfiction books. When I arrived at the event I was easily the best dressed, confidently introduced myself and connected with everyone, and often times lead the discussion or moved the group in a particular direction. I had read about 75% of the books brought up during discussion so I had something meaningful to contribute most of the time. Afterwards I connected with everyone and grabbing a tea with one of the guys next week.

Seriously, the sense of ease I had with myself and ability to focus and read others, rather than be stuck in my head, has come from CA and going on dates. To me there is not anything more nerve wracking that CA’ing a really hot girl, and even that is really not that bad. So why would I have anxiety about these people? All the more reason I would like to at least dedicate some time to getting better at CA.

Fitness

Fun note. After seeing @AskTheDom talk about powerlifting numbers in @Paid Renegade’s log, I noticed for my weight, my lift numbers are in the “Advanced” category. So I thought it would be fun to see if I could hit the “Elite” numbers. So right now I’m doing a pure powerlifting routine which prepares you for competition. I have no interest in actually competing. I’ve been lifting for a decade now and do it more for the health benefits and pure joy of doing over anything. Still fun thought to see what I can get my body to do though.

Feels

So I lead a men’s group 6 guys who meet biweekly for 90 mins to talk through our lives and push each other to be better men mentally and emotionally. They are all entrepreneurs in some sense and push themselves hard.

This week I had led them through an exercise to examine the relationship with our fathers. My relationship with my father is subpar, but he was a high functioning drug addict for part of my life and occasional weekend dad. It was quite emotionally draining to relay more story to these men and then hold space for them to tell their stories over 90 mins.

In BDSM there is a concept known as sub-drop or top-drop. During certain BDSM acts you are getting huge surges of neurochemicals in your brain. During the hours and days after the scene your brain drops your normal production of these chemicals in order to return you to equilibrium. So you can actually feel slightly worse because you have lower levels of dopamine, serotonin, ect. This also happens sometimes after flow states and other events that spike neurochemicals.

Well you can imagine after a high charged, emotional conversation, that I was leading, I would have a big spike and drop in my own neurochemicals. So the next morning I was feeling lonely and down. The morning used to be the best time for my ex-wife and I to connect. All I really wanted that morning was to hug and hold her. Then add on top of that I was struggling to get any dates scheduled during that part of the week, and was starting to get somber. I know getting canceled on, flaked on, ghosted, is all part of the game. Still doesn’t change on emotional level, it sucks sometimes. But I acknowledged the feelings I was having and didn’t let it keep me from being productive.

Questions

Whose log is great for studying on retention? There were a few girls in the last few lays I would have liked to have retained. Going to read back over Andy’s guide on this. Just wonder who else might be great to look at.
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Public Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1397
Year 1: viewtopic.php?p=49033#p49033
Year 2: viewtopic.php?p=66924#p66924

"Absorb what is useful. Reject what is useless. Add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee
User avatar
AskTheDom
Posts: 1265 | Thanks: 550
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2022 7:16 am
Name: Mario
Goal: Coach
Age: 38
Motto: Alea iacta est

Mon Sep 26, 2022 9:20 am

Bman wrote:
Sun Sep 25, 2022 6:34 pm
Feel’d: Racking up likes here. The vibe here is different than on Hinge. On Hinge most people are vanilla, so when I open with the BDSM script it stands out. But on Feel’d that’s the majority so it’s less effective. The girls conversations on here are more engaging though and they write a lot more in their bios. So I’m going to try openers that are more tailored to each girl, as I have a lot more to go off than the standard 1 sentence Tinder Bio.
Yeh, most of girls on Feeld have experience so for them ropes and stuff isn't exciting like someone that never tried it.

IMHO your strtegy is good, because if you are able to create a connection, the lay is pretty much guaranteed
Mario "The Dom" Tubone
Your Dominance coach - I help Men becoming more confident and competent both inside and outside the bedroom

MY WEEKLY PODCAST: https://rb.gy/8u2e1z
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Bman
Posts: 810 | Thanks: 1234
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Sun Oct 02, 2022 5:44 pm

This week’s reflection

Weekly Stats:

Dates
  • Monday: Canceled.
  • Wednesday: Canceled.
  • Saturday: Date from Tinder; no pull
Sunday
  • Hinge: 70 DMs, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 1 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Monday
  • Hinge: 75 DMs, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 2 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 1 Matches
  • Bumble: 1 Matches
  • CA: 0
Tuesday
  • Hinge: 101 DMs, 2 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 1 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Wednesday
  • Hinge: 102 DMs, 5 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 1 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Thursday
  • Hinge: 50 DMs, 1 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 0 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches, 0 Number
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Friday
  • Hinge: 101 DMs, 4 Matches, 0 Numbers, 0 Date Scheduled
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 1 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 0 Matches
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Saturday
  • Hinge: 105 DMs, 2 Matches, 1 Numbers
  • Tinder: 0 Boosts, 0 Likes, 3 Matches, 0 Numbers
  • Feel’d: 1 Matches, 1 number
  • Bumble: 0 Matches
  • CA: 0
Apps

Hinge: Girls were bratty this week on more than one occasion. Because I had my account reset a couple weeks ago, I have been starting in 18-24 range and slowly widening. May have just been the age demographic.

Feel’d: Few matches. Going to pay for one month premium to go through the people who have liked me.

Tinder: Not putting much effort here

Bumble: Not putting much effort here

Dates

Saturday: Matched with this girl 4 MONTHS ago and have tried to schedule dates 4 times but logistics have been terrible. She lives 90 mins away and had really terrible working hours. Luckily she quit that job and she was finally able to get over.

She sent a long open on Tinder when we first matched has been very attracted to me from the beginning. I’ve just tried to let her imagination work and keep the attraction high over the 4 months, rather than me screw it up over text as exampled here in our conversation.

309842996_1533880063717223_4657525905712165516_n.jpg

She was getting very anxious about being late because she was in traffic and thought it would make me mad. So I knew when she got there I was going to have dial up the comfort more than the dominance. She finally showed up to the coffee bar, gave her a hug, and walked her to our table. I sat down and pulled out her stool to be closer to me. She sat down and I told her she had very beautiful eyes.
She was very nervous and did most of the talking. I tried being calm, easy, and attentive with my eyes. She kept commenting how pretty my eyes were, saying “it’s hard to think and resist those pretty blue eyes looking at me…”

I practiced working in kino, mentioning I liked her fishnet stockings as I ran my hand up her thigh. Later I had asked her how many tattoos she had. She pointed one out on her shoulder and I brushed away her hair and my hand over her back as I looked at it.

She is a submissive, and she asked what I was looking for in a submissive. We discussed kinks and boundaries. I then invited her back to mine. She said she was really nervous. I told her its ok to be nervous. We can go back and go as slowly as she would like. She said she was really attracted to me, so much it was intimidating, but was too nervous. She said can we set a date next week and told me what days she was free. Told her lets do next Saturday at 4pm.

I didn’t push after that and just enjoyed her company. She was vulnerable mentioning things about her childhood like her brother ODing from drugs and being divorced. I matched whatever level of vulnerability she showed to build comfort with her.

Later on she asked what I preferred her to wear or look like when she came next Saturday. Told her I enjoyed the fishnets and heels she was wearing, and go crazy for skirts. I also told what hair colors I like as she likes to dye her hair different colors.

I was getting tired, so I ended the date. I walked her back to her car and made out with her a bit. She said she was a bit of an exhibitionist, so I could have probably escalated with her in her car, but I felt pretty confident in her sticking to Saturday by her level of investment shown here. So I finished kissing her and said see you next Saturday at 4.

She texted me on her way home that she was so engrossed in me and nervous, she had forgotten to even get anything to drink at the bar.

Dates Next Week

Wednesday (2nd date), Thursday, and Saturday (2nd date with girl from above)

Networking

Met up on Thursday evening with one of the people I connected with last week at the networking event. We riffed for two hours on education and startups. Was awesome to just have a cool and deep conversation with someone I just met once the previous week. I will continue to keep going to networking events and flesh out more of my social skills.
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seanconneryfan_
Posts: 47 | Thanks: 22
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Name: Sean
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Age: 21

Sun Oct 02, 2022 9:30 pm

interesting girl. this is where advanced game comes into play and u sound like you have a handle on it and the nuances. only thing i'd suggest is watch your investment levels because a girl being nervous is still girl game. ive fallen hard for damsel in distress before.
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Bman
Posts: 810 | Thanks: 1234
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Sun Oct 09, 2022 11:31 am

This week’s reflection

I feel that I have got what I wanted from tracking stats here which is an objective set of data I can refer to as I continue improving myself and my profiles apps. So I will no longer be posting those publicly, but will continue to track privately. From here on out I will post only the most salient pieces of progress from that week.

Tonight I will be going to the sex club here in ATX. It’s a BDSM night run by the BDSM community here. Apparently 100-200 people go this every month. I’m actually volunteering before the event to help them setup the club. I figured it was a great way to meet a few people before the event and get to know the people who run it. Plus, maybe I might get a few extra status points by knowing the higher ups. Thought it might give me a little mystery of “who the fuck is this new guy here and how does he know the masters?”

Dates
  • Wednesday: 2nd date; Rescheduled, she was on her period
  • Thursday: Date from Feel’d; no pull.
  • Saturday: 2nd date; flaked
Thursday: Fun date with a 32 year old woman from Feel’d. She’s recently divorced and doing “all things I didn’t do when I was younger”. She has a great sense of humor and we connected on a lot of different things. It’s fun sleeping with younger girls, but it’s also great connecting with someone more mature and life experience. Ran my standard stack during the date and went to pull about 45 mins in. She said she really wanted to but her allergies were really bad and she was snotty (she really was), and that was not going to be sexy. That’s a pretty weak excuse and was going to push more, but she also had to pick up a friend in at the airport in an hour, so I didn’t push as I did not really feel like just having a quickie. Told her we can figure out a day next week. Enjoyed the date with her a little longer, walked her to her car, and exchanged some passionate kisses which she was really into. Texted her yesterday and set a date for her to come straight to my place on Thursday.

Saturday: Was supposed to have the girl from last week come to my place. Texted a confirmation text to her Friday and we were still a go. Saturday came and nothing. Haven’t heard a word from her. Who knows the reason, maybe I’ll get a text today, and maybe I won’t. When she didn’t text or show, took the time to get some work done and then read a book which is one of my favorite things to do.

I’m less upset with her actions and more upset with the pattern of my reaction. When I have a date set I fantasize about the girl and get excited about the anticipation of seeing her. Then when she doesn’t show, I don’t get frustrated or angry, but I do get bummed or melancholy. This is a similar pattern I played out as a child when my father told me he was going to come see me on the weekend, and then was not able to for whatever reason. Same excited anticipation leading up, same sulking after realizing it was not going to happen. And really, it has little to do with the other person. I’m creating my own suffering in these situations with the thoughts of desire leading up to the event.

Having a replacement activity (like reading) helps, but only to a degree. I’m going to read Byron Katie’s “I Need Your Love — Is That True?”. Open to any other recommendations.

Dates Next Week

Monday (2nd date), Wednesday, and Thursday (2nd date)

Networking

Went to another networking event this week. Just trying out different ones to see what sort of style, size, and people I enjoy meeting. So far I enjoy meeting people in small groups with some sort of preordained topic we are discussing. I enjoy getting to know each person there a bit.
Last edited by Bman on Sun Oct 09, 2022 1:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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AskTheDom
Posts: 1265 | Thanks: 550
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2022 7:16 am
Name: Mario
Goal: Coach
Age: 38
Motto: Alea iacta est

Sun Oct 09, 2022 11:54 am

Bman wrote:
Sun Oct 09, 2022 11:31 am
Tonight I will be going to the sex club here in ATX. It’s a BDSM night run by the BDSM community here. Apparently 100-200 people go this every month. I’m actually volunteering before the event to help them setup the club. I figured it was a great way to meet a few people before the event and get to know the people who run it. Plus, maybe I might get a few extra status points by knowing the higher ups. Thought it might give me a little mystery of “who the fuck is this new guys here and how does he know the masters?”
Absolutely brilliant idea.
The "social" circle in the kink/bdsm area gives you perks that nobody can understand (being invited to orgies, girls talk about you to other girls for being tied up-spanked, discounts in erotic stores and kink clothing)
Mario "The Dom" Tubone
Your Dominance coach - I help Men becoming more confident and competent both inside and outside the bedroom

MY WEEKLY PODCAST: https://rb.gy/8u2e1z
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AskTheDom
Posts: 1265 | Thanks: 550
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2022 7:16 am
Name: Mario
Goal: Coach
Age: 38
Motto: Alea iacta est

Sun Oct 09, 2022 11:57 am

Bman wrote:
Sun Oct 09, 2022 11:31 am
Open to any other recommendations.
I was like you, and to be honest, I have no idea how I got through that, I would say with exposure ( in colombia flakes were driving me insane) and abundance, but I suspect there is something a bit more in your case (as you mentioned your father) so perhaps you might want to dig deeper on this one?
Mario "The Dom" Tubone
Your Dominance coach - I help Men becoming more confident and competent both inside and outside the bedroom

MY WEEKLY PODCAST: https://rb.gy/8u2e1z
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Bman
Posts: 810 | Thanks: 1234
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Sun Oct 09, 2022 1:02 pm

AskTheDom wrote:
Sun Oct 09, 2022 11:57 am
Bman wrote:
Sun Oct 09, 2022 11:31 am
Open to any other recommendations.
I was like you, and to be honest, I have no idea how I got through that, I would say with exposure ( in colombia flakes were driving me insane) and abundance, but I suspect there is something a bit more in your case (as you mentioned your father) so perhaps you might want to dig deeper on this one?
Yeah I have noticed that the more it happens, the more desensitized to it I become. But recognizing it as a pattern, I realize its an area I can work on. I'll spend some time contemplating it.
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Crisis_Overcomer
Posts: 1017 | Thanks: 720
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2020 7:25 pm
Goal: Earn $5,000/month
Age: 33
Motto: Motion beats meditation

Sun Oct 09, 2022 1:21 pm

Bman wrote:
Sun Oct 09, 2022 11:31 am
I’m less upset with her actions and more upset with the pattern of my reaction. When I have a date set I fantasize about the girl and get excited about the anticipation of seeing her. Then when she doesn’t show, I don’t get frustrated or angry, but I do get bummed or melancholy. This is a similar pattern I played out as a child when my father told me he was going to come see me on the weekend, and then was not able to for whatever reason. Same excited anticipation leading up, same sulking after realizing it was not going to happen. And really, it has little to do with the other person. I’m creating my own suffering in these situations with the thoughts of desire leading up to the event.

Having a replacement activity (like reading) helps, but only to a degree. I’m going to read Byron Katie’s “I Need Your Love — Is That True?”. Open to any other recommendations.
I suggest grabbing this book: https://www.ninglicopy.com/bulletproof-mindset

It's the one @MakingAComeback and I use to help us with our mindset work. Since you're aware that this is an issue rooted in your childhood, the simple exercise inside will help.
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Holden
Posts: 1620 | Thanks: 562
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2021 1:36 pm
Goal: Rotation
Age: 28

Sun Oct 09, 2022 1:40 pm

Man at some point all dates will blend into each other and you'll lose that pre-date excitement. Sometimes I miss those days where I'd be nervous for a date with a new chick, it added some spice and excitement to life that's gone now

The good thing is that you stop caring about flakes as much even though it still sucks of course.
Laycount: 100

My Log

Primary goal:
- Rotation of three girls (DONE)
- Regular threesomes (DONE)
- A foursome
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Bman
Posts: 810 | Thanks: 1234
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Sun Oct 16, 2022 11:32 am

Before getting into this week’s reflection, I want to take a moment to recognize a mini milestone for myself. I have had 10 lays since my divorce earlier this year and joining KYIL in May, taking me from 3 to 13.

First off, thank you @KillYourInnerLoser for all the content you put out and creating this community. Your Tinder Guide and podcast gave me the foundation to get started and the guys here in the community helped fill in the gaps. Truly man, you have given me a great gift of not just getting laid, but valuing myself a lot more and having confidence. I am very, very grateful to have found this little corner of the internet right when I was getting divorced. You helped save me years of trial and error, frustration, and self-doubt in trying to figure this out on my own.

I will write up a long post at the end of the year round up all the resources and advice that helped me, but for now I just want to thank those of you who have directly or indirectly given me advice along the way including:
@Holden
@AskTheDom
@Manganiello
@Crisis_Overcomer
@Mimbe393939
@Ed_
@Manly Cockfellow
@pancakemouse
@colgate
@Radical
@MakingAComeback
@twonightstander

I know 10 lays is not a lot for some of you, but without all your advice I would have struggled to get 1. You all are like the cool brothers or uncles I never had that tell all their wild stories and secrets. Looking forward to keep leveling up and learning from you all.

Alright, on to this week’s breakdown.

This week’s reflection

Mindset

Thank you @Crisis_Overcomer for the mindset resource. It helped me recognize childhood blocks around neglect, abandonment, and narcissism from one or both of my parents. It’s a helpful exercise and I will continue to use it as triggers occur.

I also read Byron Katie’s I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead. It helped me recognize when I am seeking validation, approval, or thinking I need love from someone else and can instead give it to myself.

As with most mindset stuff, the tangible examples of how this are put into practice are more fuzzy, but example related to dating are:
  • Changing the topic of conversation if I'm bored with it, even if it's in the middle
  • Not trying to impress her with my answers or match myself to her, but answer in a matter of fact way of "this is me, take it or leave it"
  • Sharing about myself, and if it’s “weird” to her, so be it. I still enjoy those things
  • Not having to explain myself
  • Be disagreeable if I genuinely disagreed
  • Try to pull; if she says no its her loss, I didn't need a yes from her, and I know I will pull another girl later
  • Enjoying sex and not worrying about if it’s “good”. Funny thing is, when you do that it generally is.
These two resources paired great with each other because in the exercise from Bulletproof Mindset, you essentially give yourself, the child version of you, whatever love was not given to you as a child.

This week I tried putting these in to practice and I can say it’s been a more peaceful week. Both of my lays this week were great and I would largely attribute that to being very present with the girls, being very comfortable with myself, and most importantly, coming into these interactions not needing anything from them at all.

Dates
  • Monday: 2nd date; Rescheduled, she was still on her period
  • Friday: Lay #13: Cinderella Girl - viewtopic.php?p=44290#p44290

    Not much to add, the dates and lays are broken down in the lay reports.
    Bman wrote:
    Sun Oct 09, 2022 11:31 am
    Saturday: Was supposed to have the girl from last week come to my place. Texted a confirmation text to her Friday and we were still a go. Saturday came and nothing. Haven’t heard a word from her. Who knows the reason, maybe I’ll get a text today, and maybe I won’t. When she didn’t text or show, took the time to get some work done and then read a book which is one of my favorite things to do.
This one ghosted. Sent Andy’s “didn’t expect you to ghost” text. Nothing. Oh well. On to the next.

Dates Next Week
I really dig Cinderella Girl and aiming for retention with her. Will setup a 2nd round with this week with both lays. Also, scheduled for a 2nd date on Monday with the girl who keeps rescheduling

Sex Club

Last Sunday I went to a swinger’s sex club that gets taken over by the BDSM community one night a month. I actually volunteered to help them setup before the event started to get to know the people who run it. Was a fantastic choice on my part because the main couple that run it introduced me to people throughout the night. The mistress took a liking to me and was generous in helping me feel comfortable at the club and welcoming me in the community.

There were a couple girls I was attracted to but to be honest, I was slightly intimidated to try approaching while I was there. So I just enjoyed chatting and meeting some people and watching some of the crazy stuff people did there. Tried out some electrical play, which reminds me of getting tattooed so it was quite relaxing.

Now that I’m acquainted with what goes on, I think I’ll be more comfortable next month to approach if I’m solo. However, I was talking about it with Cinderella Girl and she sounds game to go which would be a lot of fun. I also think my 2nd date for Monday would be down to go as well. Sooooo maybe I could take both at the same time in the future? That would be fucking awesome. Also, need to change my outfit that I wear there. I wore my standard all black gear, but that is what a majority wear also which means I don’t stand out much.
Public Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1397
Year 1: viewtopic.php?p=49033#p49033
Year 2: viewtopic.php?p=66924#p66924

"Absorb what is useful. Reject what is useless. Add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee
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