Brandon Builds - Doing a Little Kink Night Game; Found the One "Celibate" Girl in the Club

[MILFandCookies]

@MakingAComeback: The underdog hero of the forums. Seriously grateful to have you here. You are an inspiration to many of rookies who join these forums. Was fantastic to connect with you this year and look forward to doing it more in the future. I respect your dedication and fortitude.

Thanks man this means a lot I'm excited to see where we both go in 2023!

[Manganiello]

It was awesome to see you grow and progress man, especially after a divorce. Your log is inspiration fuel.

[Holden]

Thx for the kind words. Happy new year, great things in store for you.

[Bman]

And if you'd like to come on the podcast again, I'd love to have you on (probably after March). Last episode was a banger

Would love to. After March would be perfect for me. I'm hitting sales hard in Q1, so most of my time will be focused on the startup and any free time will go towards getting laid. But my schedule will open back up more in April.

[MakingAComeback]

It is a joy to witness your journey, brother, I appreciate your shoutout, and likewise, your work is a pleasure to be witness to, and to catch rays off the sun is always a good thing ;-)

Ravi

[Mimbe393939]

@Mimbe393939: Thank you for connecting with me early on. Felt like you were my fellow rookie this year on the come up. I always respect a man you can turn pain into triumph, making himself a better man in the process. Rooting for your success and can’t wait to see you slay in Japan.

I appreciate your kind words, thank you for all your support, truly. Bman haha, I remember when we we're logging our CAs in the streets with no tail in sight, before our OLD rampage. It was comical to have another guy coming up with me in a similar position. It feels like we've seen each other grow up on the forums in a sense, lots more to come.

I can't wait to see what things you get into this year, wishing you all the best in the new year and on your 365 day project! You know you got my support, always.

Been a hell of year, Let's see what we get ourselves into this year! Cheers buddy

[bonzo34]

..

[Bman]

This week’s reflection

Apps

Hinge: I’m not sure how many times I’ve been banned on Hinge, but its like 4-5 times now. Was banned again this week. I’m very polarizing on that app, so it’s to be expected. I would just disregard the app entirely, however looking over the data from the last year (yes I’m also autistic and keep a spreadsheet like you nerds) almost 50% of my lays came from Hinge, including a couple of my hottest lays, and a lot of the numbers I got from Hinge were from hot girls. So its worth it for me to keep resetting.

Having learned a lot more about marketing on the other apps. I’d like to tailor my profile a bit more specific to Hinge to keep myself from getting banned. Based on the environment, seems to me that I might survive more if I toned down the BDSM/Fuckboi vibe and added a little more classiness to it. Not so much that it throws me into the relationship material, but enough that it keeps me from getting banned.

And of course not leading with a BDSM opener. So I’ll have to tailor the message flow a little different here. @Zug , you seem to have had great success with the app, would love to hear your perspective here about your openers/messages and marketing yourself on Hinge.

Tinder: I have never reset my Tinder since I started. It does fine, but thinking I could probably benefit from resetting it since my pictures are way better than when I started. If I have never reset before, can I do so using the same account info (email, phone, etc)?

Girls

Monday: Ad Girl – had a fun kinky experience with her doing some impact play because she loves being spanked, using a butt plug, and fucking her doggy for a long time. Even broke a wooden spatula on her ass.

Friday:Lay 18: Spiritual Girl: viewtopic.php?p=49576#p49576

Pretty fun girl. She asked me to send her over the sex menu this morning. Really great tool to help new subs explore what they like or want to try. Also helps facilitate communication between you two. And if you if you have multiple girls, helps you keep track of what each one really likes.

Question: @Holden, what’s the general guidelines on reaching out to old lays? I never did get Cinderella girl over for a second lay, but she was very receptive, her schedule just sucked. At the end of November she had a good friend pass and just needed some space and told me she’d reach out. Of course that never happened. I really liked her bubbly, feminine personality and she was great bed so if possible I’d like to try to reconnect. I know to keep expectations low, just curious to the best approach.

Cold Approach

Just 0/1 this week. Busy with girls, meetings, and work, so didn’t get out much this week.

365 Project

Did a couple unique things this week like a sexual disclosure exercise and implementing Google’s 20% rule to allow myself some time for exploring new, creative ideas and projects. Still going strong with affirmations and implementing a second meditation in the afternoon which I’m seeing great benefit from.

[Holden]

Question: @Holden, what’s the general guidelines on reaching out to old lays? I never did get Cinderella girl over for a second lay, but she was very receptive, her schedule just sucked. At the end of November she had a good friend pass and just needed some space and told me she’d reach out. Of course that never happened. I really liked her bubbly, feminine personality and she was great bed so if possible I’d like to try to reconnect. I know to keep expectations low, just curious to the best approach.

Don't count on it. Just text her like normal whenever. But pre-lock-in, best to assume she's gone. Doesn't hurt to message her though.

After lock-in (you fucked twice on two separate occasions) you should aim to see girls weekly and if they 'break up' then you do the whole "wait 4 months and don't contact her at all unless she contacts you first" thing.

Btw this is why you need to go for lock-in ASAP, even within the same week if possible. It's like flipping a psychological switch, going from one night stand, to 'lover.' Only after lock-in do you have a 'relationship' with a girl.

I used to wait an entire week before aiming for the second meet and I lost so many girls doing this.

[HomelessBob]

Oh wow, cheers for the sex menu link. That thing looks great! Thanks bud.

I remember there was a discussion a page or so back on lasting longer during sex, wierdly I've always had the opposite problem. You know what they use to treat premature ejaculation? SSRIs. You know what they use to treat depression? SSRIs. For bonus points, sometimes the effects of the medication can be permanant.

So I last for goddamn ever, it's not all it's cracked up to be, it's a chore, BUT I don't focus on the length of sex anymore. Instead I count orgasms, and the number of different ways I can give them. Oral, fingers (g spot and clitoral), toys, and finally penetrative. Honestly I have an order I fall back into when I'm mentally tired, never had any complaints that the order of orgasms they get is always the same.

Generally I shoot for minimum 2+ orgasms per session, at least one during the first bout of foreplay and usually one after an initial round of sex. Let's say Foreplay-Oral-Sex-Fingering and dirty talk. Then have your fun. I think of it as the sandwich method. Orgasm before sex, orgasm after sex (bonus for during).

I know for some women this is unrealistic but I've never come across those women so *shrug*. I also use how easy or hard it is to make a long term partner orgasm one of the best markers of how well I'm doing outside the bedroom to attract her. But it's also affected by her stress levels generally so not a perfect measure.

[pancakemouse]

Tinder: I have never reset my Tinder since I started. It does fine, but thinking I could probably benefit from resetting it since my pictures are way better than when I started. If I have never reset before, can I do so using the same account info (email, phone, etc)?

Yes, though the only point of resetting would be to give girls that had swiped left before another look at you.

[Bman]

Btw this is why you need to go for lock-in ASAP, even within the same week if possible. It's like flipping a psychological switch, going from one night stand, to 'lover.' Only after lock-in do you have a 'relationship' with a girl.

I used to wait an entire week before aiming for the second meet and I lost so many girls doing this.

Yes, this is the mistake I kept making last year. Especially the weeks I would sleep with 2 or 3 new girls. I figured I'd just get them over the next week, but often logistics would go to shit or get ghosted. I'm doing a lot more to seed retention on the first date and making sure I get them back over ASAP.

Thanks for the advice.

Yes, though the only point of resetting would be to give girls that had swiped left before another look at you.

Solid, thanks. I think I present myself better than when I started so probably worth it.

Generally I shoot for minimum 2+ orgasms per session

Yes, I also make sure I'm giving orgasms through multiple ways in a session. The lasting longer, specifically for intercourse, is really for my pleasure. An orgasm that's been built up over a long period of time feels better. I've also realized its not my skill/ability to do this, which I can and have done before, it's more performance anxiety with a girl on the first lay, which will show up as either ED or PE, depending on the last time I had sex. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be good for her (and for good reason). Second time with her I'm usually fine, not problem. I'm comfortable with her. But I'm working on focusing on myself more during sex and trying to even the playing field. Work in progress.

[Zug]

And of course not leading with a BDSM opener. So I’ll have to tailor the message flow a little different here. @Zug , you seem to have had great success with the app, would love to hear your perspective here about your openers/messages and marketing yourself on Hinge.

I've tried a lot of different profile and texting strategies. I know everyone suggests being highly polarizing on both, but that is a huge mistake imo. You want to ramp up your polarization in the say way you ramp up your sexualization. You get the same effects without 90% of the drawbacks. The benefit of polarization is that it ramps up engagement, but the downside is that it polarizes people early in the process to be against you. If your texting is good, you don't need to rely on polarization as your sole engagement tool., because polarization isn't the only way to ramp engagement. Early on, relying on 'clickbait' and 'open hooks' has even more engagement than polarization, with the downside is that the effect is entirely temporary (like 1-2 messages).

You want a very strong opener that utilizes some form of clickbait/open hook, not one that is highly polarizing. There is no reason to be polarizing in the opener, all it does is cause x% of people to auto reject you. Make sure your opener allows you to pivot in any direction and actually sets you up to have a good continuation.

There are a lot of openers that have very high initial response rates, but either turn her against you immediately or offer you nowhere to go. Hypothetically, you could use an opener like "Why do you use a photo that makes you look like such a bitch" and get a high initial response rate. Even if banning wasn't a risk, there is nowhere to go after that opener. Finally, your opener/texting/profile has to be congruent. If some random guy has great success with a specific line or profile, it WILL NOT work for you if you're not the same archetype of man/profile. Congruence between all three is a very difficult problem to solve when you are getting started and continually improving, because anyone who is in the process of change will quickly become incongruent with their past self.

IMO, the reason you see polarization pushed so hard as a strategy, is that a lot of the top 0.1% guys are looking for fast low effort lays. Strong polarization is great for that if everything else is also strong. There needs to be some polarization in the profile, but not as much as people think. Again, you can use prompts with open hooks or clickbait to get the same effect at less cost. What polarization can be truly good for is weeding out all the girls with hidden traits you are sure you don't want. In my case, I try to include enough that all the 'husband shopper' types are turned off immediately, but no further. You want to double dip here and try to make that same prompt also pull in the people with the hidden traits you do want. Any mention of spanking, dominance, brats, etc can do that. Some minor obfuscation of the meaning can go a long way of getting most of the positives with few of the negatives.

This is a terrible prompt, do not use it, but it does illustrate how you would 'slightly hide' something in a prompt. Again don't use this.
"Things I enjoy in the bedroom: Jazz, scented candles, paddles, and breakfast"

People into what you are will get the hint, others will be curious, and the most uptight negative folk will reject off it. That the ideal you are shooting for.
Compare that to just overtly saying:
"I enjoy BDSM in the bedroom".

Even people into BDSM on the mainstream apps are going to be intimidated by that and assume you are some psychopath.

[IceMan]

Its incredible to read what one year on the forum and just go out there and pushing yourself can truely do!
Absolutely inspirational! I totally resonated with the parts where you talk about having thoughts like not feeling good enough. I have so much respect for people who are open to these matters too.. Will definitely follow your adventure!

That 2023 becomes even more better!

[Bman]

I totally resonated with the parts where you talk about having thoughts like not feeling good enough.

It's a deep insecurity that I've done a lot of work on and continue to do so. It's partially the birth of my recent 365 project.