Sewerdog's log

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
Post Reply
User avatar
Sewerdog
Posts: 363 | Thanks: 438
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2022 5:13 pm
Goal: Make money
Age: 29

Fri Sep 16, 2022 8:29 pm

Been PMO free for a while now.
Bodyweight actually dropped to 99kg
Turns out I have low test so I may jump on the sauce.

I've been in a manic hyperactive state all week, I have some sort of crazy depressive/energetic thing going on. Has lead me to be pretty needy and I think it's sabotaged seeing this girl so I'll leave her be for a while and see what comes of it.
My libido has always been low and now its gone in my moment of need, I've got what I wanted in front of my and nothing happens, feels like somethings wrong and I don't know what.
I'm also starting to spiral when she doesn't text back which is really bad lol.

I've made some massive gains this month but it feels hollow right now. All my pleasure/pain motivations have gone and its terrifying, even my appetite and need for sleep have vanished. I'm only trying to sleep so I can rest from my thoughts.

Goals and focusses:
Rewire my brain, this may take months according according to the no-fap forums and I'm beginning to feel like my brain was never healthy in the first place.
Might try microdosing.
Get a fluoride water filter.
Start teaching guitar.
Jump on gear and obtain an insane physique.
Focus on socialising with new groups of people.
Try for one date a week and escalate as far as I can go.
Meditate every day.
Do one altruistic thing a week.
Walk in nature every day.

I'm actually not sure if I'm gonna be OK, but I feel like if I can fix this then anything will be possible.
User avatar
Sewerdog
Posts: 363 | Thanks: 438
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2022 5:13 pm
Goal: Make money
Age: 29

Mon Sep 19, 2022 9:16 pm

Time to stop spiralling and bitching.
Another date, was a chilled one so took the pressure off which made my dick start working just from making out, this is such a literal ball-ache to navigate but I'm making progress.
Decided to run a cycle of test enanthate which is cheap and legal in the UK, also eating at maintenence is slowly restoring mood and libido.

Weekly goals:
Get back on OLD and stop being lazy, this will cure my one-itis.
Continue no-fap streak, it's gonna be very difficult when the test kicks in but that's what I'm looking for.
Continue all looksmaxxing protocols.
Recomp at 99kg, this should be relatively easy on test (subgoals are getting my overhead press back to 100kg, my deadlift back to 250kg and my 5k time to 23mins, for that Greek god build)
Do something altruistic.
Go to 2 socials and talk to one woman each time, made some new friends this week and one is an absolute player so hoping to learn a thing or two, the guys close to looksmaxxed and basically had 2 different girls throw themselves at him in one night haha.
Eat healthy.
Read.
Go for a walk in my lunch breaks.
User avatar
Sewerdog
Posts: 363 | Thanks: 438
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2022 5:13 pm
Goal: Make money
Age: 29

Sun Oct 02, 2022 8:58 pm

Updates:
Broke it off with this girl. The last couple weeks she got more and more distant and I'm not sure how legit her excuses were. Honestly I fell for her, but it was like an addiction, not healthy and all the while I was desperately trying to gain sexual function which made me incredibly uncertain about myself. I tried to see her one last time but no luck, I told her how I was feeling and everything I was going through and she was nice to me. I want to be redpilled to protect my ego but reading back through our messages she was nothing but kind. I couldn't take it. I told her how much she was worth and parted ways.
I didn't realise how fucked in the head I am until now but I've gained so much insight and I think I'm on the right tracks.
It's frustrating every time I saw her I felt like my arousal was growing and my inhibitions reduced.

I'm running 300mg enanthate a week and it's starting to kick in. It feels like having a friend lol, my confidence and aggression have increased and my libido seems to be growing, also feeling explosive in the gym.

I really feel like I can attain a sky-high smv and I'm on the right track. My biggest issue is my mind, it feels like I've been wounded from something and never recovered but for the first time I truly want to be well and its thanks to her. I'm truly grateful to be alive.

I also made a bunch of new friends while spiralling about this girl and am going to get a promotion at work.

Moving forward:
Maintain no-fap streak
Book a high class escort to see where I'm at and to Rewire my brain some more. Honestly I just want a woman to hold me and tell me it's gonna be OK lmao.
Build an insane body
Maintain all looksmaxxing processes
Get back on OLD
Continue being very social
User avatar
Sewerdog
Posts: 363 | Thanks: 438
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2022 5:13 pm
Goal: Make money
Age: 29

Sun Oct 02, 2022 9:03 pm

Feels right to post this
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
User avatar
Sewerdog
Posts: 363 | Thanks: 438
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2022 5:13 pm
Goal: Make money
Age: 29

Tue Oct 04, 2022 7:23 pm

OLD: ramping up again
Got a picnic date this saturday with a female friend from social circle.
Sent enquiries to three therapists.
Booked a Thai massage and will go to an improv group tm to meet new people and try to become more expressive.
Nofap streak continues.
Diet is super healthy and workouts are going great, I'm beginning to look and feel more supernatural, the pumps and aggression are crazy.
Want to do some charity work to stop this feeling of lack so will find some.
User avatar
natedawg
Posts: 879 | Thanks: 221
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2022 11:45 pm
Goal: Social Life
Age: 35
Motto: Whatever you do, don't quit.

Tue Oct 04, 2022 8:37 pm

Sewerdog wrote:
Tue Oct 04, 2022 7:23 pm
OLD: ramping up again
Got a picnic date this saturday with a female friend from social circle.
Sent enquiries to three therapists.
Booked a Thai massage and will go to an improv group tm to meet new people and try to become more expressive.
Nofap streak continues.
Diet is super healthy and workouts are going great, I'm beginning to look and feel more supernatural, the pumps and aggression are crazy.
Want to do some charity work to stop this feeling of lack so will find some.
Love it dude. Keep building yourself up one day at a time.
2023-2024 Goals

Year 1: Pg 1-42

"As long I don't quit, I can't lose." - Alex Hormozi

**Feeling lost/unmotivated? Read this:viewtopic.php?p=48007#p48007

** Trust in the process Andy laid out for me: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1279346/11913966
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Thu Nov 17, 2022 11:54 am

YOU ARE NOT DONE YET

YOU MUST POST

WE WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO STOP

@Sewerdog

If you need to talk to someone, I have time on Sat.

Ravi
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
User avatar
natedawg
Posts: 879 | Thanks: 221
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2022 11:45 pm
Goal: Social Life
Age: 35
Motto: Whatever you do, don't quit.

Thu Nov 17, 2022 4:45 pm

MakingAComeback wrote:
Thu Nov 17, 2022 11:54 am
YOU ARE NOT DONE YET

YOU MUST POST

WE WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO STOP

@Sewerdog

If you need to talk to someone, I have time on Sat.

Ravi

Amen. Been thinking about ya dude @Sewerdog

Hope you're well, brother.
2023-2024 Goals

Year 1: Pg 1-42

"As long I don't quit, I can't lose." - Alex Hormozi

**Feeling lost/unmotivated? Read this:viewtopic.php?p=48007#p48007

** Trust in the process Andy laid out for me: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1279346/11913966
User avatar
Sewerdog
Posts: 363 | Thanks: 438
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2022 5:13 pm
Goal: Make money
Age: 29

Sat Nov 19, 2022 9:08 am

Thank you so much guys, you dont know how much that means.

I didn't expect to find success so early on with a genuinely beautiful woman and to have her be so good to me and then to fall on my face for no other reason than my own mental bs has really thrown me for a loop.
It's like the world has the capacity to be a far better place than I imagined and it was just me bringing my demons into it all along.

Been thinking what I really want from women and what I want from myself a lot and all I can really think is I want our lives to be better for knowing each other. I have a lot to work through before I get there but I now know I can.

I will start posting again and resume my progress.

Today:
Gym has been going very well and gonna have a session with my buddy.
Straight up asked the same girl if we went on a date tonight if she'd let me kiss her and she said yes. Therefore I'll try to do this, if not go to a meetup group in Oxford and approach 1 woman.
Hit OLD numbers and run a boost.
Get some more tretinoin for the skincare gains.
Read through material recommended by therapist.

My diet is still healthy and my looksmaxxing processes are still in place.
Recomping body until abs.
Dickmaxxing has been working which is great for my confidence also I've cured my Ed through nofap and running test, I must still work to break through my fear of intimacy.

Thanks again guys you've genuinely picked me back up.
User avatar
Jacobpalmer123
Posts: 433 | Thanks: 114
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2020 3:38 am
Goal: 1-3 daily approaches
Age: 28
Motto: All progress depends on the unreasonable man

Sat Nov 19, 2022 5:23 pm

300 is a lot. How long is your cycle for? 16 weeks? Have you noticed any hair loss? Finasteride is good and RU while on cycle. Have you needed to take an AI yet?

How are you able to do PE while not getting urges and maintaining your no fap streak?
Get a tech job
Get 2 lays
User avatar
Sewerdog
Posts: 363 | Thanks: 438
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2022 5:13 pm
Goal: Make money
Age: 29

Sat Nov 19, 2022 11:50 pm

Jacobpalmer123 wrote:
Sat Nov 19, 2022 5:23 pm
300 is a lot. How long is your cycle for? 16 weeks? Have you noticed any hair loss? Finasteride is good and RU while on cycle. Have you needed to take an AI yet?

How are you able to do PE while not getting urges and maintaining your no fap streak?
I've dropped to 250mg a week since then and am thinking 16 weeks as all the sides have been positive.
Hair is fine too so far and I haven't noticed any aromatisation.

You look like you've achieved some serious results so any pointers are greatly appreciated.

PE wise I'm just stretching and using bathmate which haven't triggered any urges.
I managed a three week streak but not mo-ing has been a train wreck the last couple weeks lol. Honestly avoiding porn has been super easy due to the extreme emotional pain of Ed and realising I need to get my dopamine system healthy.
User avatar
Sewerdog
Posts: 363 | Thanks: 438
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2022 5:13 pm
Goal: Make money
Age: 29

Sun Nov 20, 2022 12:13 am

Back in the win column.
All tasks achieved for today.

Date: Went really well. Can't beleive I basically had a needy meltdown over text with this girl and now I'm back seeing her.
Got some good physical contact straight away and escalated from there and just felt natural. Ended up making out in the carpark for ages with her moaning and running her hands down me. Crucially, dick is working very well this time around.
Ended up teasing her for being short but also told her she was beautiful too lol

Going forward I won't slack-off on the OLD and I'll keep going to meetups and doing my inner work.
User avatar
Sewerdog
Posts: 363 | Thanks: 438
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2022 5:13 pm
Goal: Make money
Age: 29

Tue Nov 22, 2022 11:55 pm

Went out to our spot with this girl again, ended up making out and making her cum. I think I'm starting to realise how to get myself in the zone by escalating and really enjoying her body. I was still very nervous but I think if I went for it she would have let me have sex with her. I now know that it is nerves getting in the way and I'm still holding back. I also tried moving her around and being more assertive which I enjoyed and she moaned my name when she climaxed which was really cool.
I think I'll try to ramp up to full on sex next time as she's really compliant and really gets off on me leading but I'll have to sort us out somewhere with more space than her car 🤣
User avatar
natedawg
Posts: 879 | Thanks: 221
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2022 11:45 pm
Goal: Social Life
Age: 35
Motto: Whatever you do, don't quit.

Wed Nov 23, 2022 2:06 am

Sewerdog wrote:
Tue Nov 22, 2022 11:55 pm
Went out to our spot with this girl again, ended up making out and making her cum. I think I'm starting to realise how to get myself in the zone by escalating and really enjoying her body. I was still very nervous but I think if I went for it she would have let me have sex with her. I now know that it is nerves getting in the way and I'm still holding back. I also tried moving her around and being more assertive which I enjoyed and she moaned my name when she climaxed which was really cool.
I think I'll try to ramp up to full on sex next time as she's really compliant and really gets off on me leading but I'll have to sort us out somewhere with more space than her car 🤣
Let's gooo!
2023-2024 Goals

Year 1: Pg 1-42

"As long I don't quit, I can't lose." - Alex Hormozi

**Feeling lost/unmotivated? Read this:viewtopic.php?p=48007#p48007

** Trust in the process Andy laid out for me: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1279346/11913966
User avatar
MakingAComeback
Posts: 4130 | Thanks: 4864
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2021 1:17 pm
Goal: 3k Per Month Post Tax
Age: 32
Motto: POSITIVE SELF TALK

Wed Nov 23, 2022 3:25 pm

Sewerdog wrote:
Sat Nov 19, 2022 9:08 am
Thank you so much guys, you dont know how much that means.

I didn't expect to find success so early on with a genuinely beautiful woman and to have her be so good to me and then to fall on my face for no other reason than my own mental bs has really thrown me for a loop.
It's like the world has the capacity to be a far better place than I imagined and it was just me bringing my demons into it all along.

Been thinking what I really want from women and what I want from myself a lot and all I can really think is I want our lives to be better for knowing each other. I have a lot to work through before I get there but I now know I can.

I will start posting again and resume my progress.

Today:
Gym has been going very well and gonna have a session with my buddy.
Straight up asked the same girl if we went on a date tonight if she'd let me kiss her and she said yes. Therefore I'll try to do this, if not go to a meetup group in Oxford and approach 1 woman.
Hit OLD numbers and run a boost.
Get some more tretinoin for the skincare gains.
Read through material recommended by therapist.

My diet is still healthy and my looksmaxxing processes are still in place.
Recomping body until abs.
Dickmaxxing has been working which is great for my confidence also I've cured my Ed through nofap and running test, I must still work to break through my fear of intimacy.

Thanks again guys you've genuinely picked me back up.
He's back ;-)

Welcome back bro.

Just glad you came here to vent, share, and let us know you're OK.

You got this man.

KEEP WORKING,
MAC
-Your friend, Ravi

Consistent Performance Coach, Admin of WinnerWithin, and Seeker of Human Potential

My FB Group for Consistent Performance & Goal Achievement
https://www.facebook.com/groups/ironwilltribe
Post Reply