Crimson’s Progress Log

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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Crimson
Posts: 698 | Thanks: 702
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 3:12 pm
Name: Brandon
Goal: Move out
Age: 21
Motto: TAKE ACTION
Location: Germany

Fri Jun 16, 2023 8:36 pm

Hey, got released from the psychiatry today. Feeling relatively stable, doing the best I can giving the circumstances. I’m now also on antidepressants, they help me sleep and I’m pretty sure they also boost serotonin levels (boosting overall mood).

For some reason I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude today. I think it coming to terms with the fact that I’m way stronger than I think I am.

All of the mental health problems I had/have, the self-harm, the depression, suicidal thoughts, problems with my parents ect. - but I’m still here. I didn’t kill myself. I’m glad I didn’t.

Truthfully I felt quite suicidal just a couple of days ago, because I got the news that I wasn’t going to be able to get my A-Levels because of my grades.

I was truly convinced that there was no hope. But then I went to sleep and I was surprised by how much better I felt when I woke up. I guess I was able to put it into perspective more and it didn’t seem like that big of a deal any longer, as much of a bummer as it might be.






Anyways, I got a meeting with my teachers on Monday to plan for my future. They have been amazing during this tough time I’ve been in. I’m so grateful for them, they truly care about me.

I’m going to stay on antidepressants for now and start striving for some sort of stability in my life (start working? Continue educational path? ect.). I’m not as deep in the world of chaos as I was before but I still don’t know what I want to do or where I am ect.

Won’t really know how that will go until I’ve had that discussion with my teachers. Also bought Jordan Petersons self authoring program to help me with that. Currently doing the past authoring.

I think I’m also grieving in some way. Grieving everything bad that’s happened to me. It feels as if a little baby is crying inside of me, because their needs haven’t been met. Perhaps that’s my inner child that’s been feeling hurt for so long. It makes me quite emotional. It’s probably a good thing that this is happening, letting go of some of that pain.

All praise to the most high.
My Progress Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1564

My Mental Health Log: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=1416
User avatar
Crimson
Posts: 698 | Thanks: 702
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 3:12 pm
Name: Brandon
Goal: Move out
Age: 21
Motto: TAKE ACTION
Location: Germany

Fri Jun 16, 2023 8:50 pm

Another thing, I was in the psychiatry for 15 days. 15 days where I was distanced from my parents. I think that distance was beneficial, because I could reflect on my relationship with them.

It just came to me that I might not be as dependent on them as I think. Obviously I’m financially dependent on them and all that, but I’m talking more in a “spiritual” sense perhaps. As in I can live without them and not die. Because I just spent two weeks without them and didn’t die.

It’s just something I’ve been thinking about. What kind of person am I exactly if I could live in a world where my parents don’t exist?
My Progress Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1564

My Mental Health Log: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=1416
User avatar
Crimson
Posts: 698 | Thanks: 702
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 3:12 pm
Name: Brandon
Goal: Move out
Age: 21
Motto: TAKE ACTION
Location: Germany

Sat Jun 17, 2023 6:45 pm

Quite a good day today. Pretty solid mix of leisure and productive time.

Cleaned my room, went on a walk around the block and went to the gym.
My Progress Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1564

My Mental Health Log: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=1416
User avatar
Crimson
Posts: 698 | Thanks: 702
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 3:12 pm
Name: Brandon
Goal: Move out
Age: 21
Motto: TAKE ACTION
Location: Germany

Tue Jun 20, 2023 12:49 pm

Played basketball on Sunday, otherwise just chilled and played PlayStation

Had basketball practice yesterday. Also had conversation about my future with my teachers. Gonna have another conversation soon, with a teacher who can give me career advice. I’m most likely going to start an apprenticeship.

Going to my doctor today to get my antidepressants subscription and I’m gonna hit the gym. I’ve been getting back into it slowly and with humility, just using the bar and working out for 15 min and then leaving. Doesn’t matter as long as I’m going to the gym.
My Progress Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1564

My Mental Health Log: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=1416
User avatar
Crimson
Posts: 698 | Thanks: 702
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 3:12 pm
Name: Brandon
Goal: Move out
Age: 21
Motto: TAKE ACTION
Location: Germany

Tue Jun 20, 2023 9:19 pm

Went to the gym and wrote two sentences in Jordan petersons past authoring program
My Progress Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1564

My Mental Health Log: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=1416
User avatar
Crimson
Posts: 698 | Thanks: 702
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 3:12 pm
Name: Brandon
Goal: Move out
Age: 21
Motto: TAKE ACTION
Location: Germany

Thu Jun 22, 2023 11:55 pm

Cleaned my room up half way today. Didn’t really do anything else productive tho, just played PlayStation the whole day.

And I skipped going to the gym and didn’t take care of my tasks
My Progress Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1564

My Mental Health Log: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=1416
User avatar
Crimson
Posts: 698 | Thanks: 702
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 3:12 pm
Name: Brandon
Goal: Move out
Age: 21
Motto: TAKE ACTION
Location: Germany

Sat Jun 24, 2023 3:52 pm

Yesterday was a bit better. Cleaned my room. Contacted career advisor. And I finally got my antidepressants today. Ran out and didn’t take any for 4-5 days, I’ve kinda been feeling dreamy since I stopped taking them, like I’m floating or something. Slightly uncomfortable, but nothing crazy.

Skipped the gym again tho and didn’t hit up companies for work experiences. Family is in Kenya for almost 3 weeks, while I’m alone at home. Downloaded all the dating apps, I’m going to start taking baby steps towards dating again.

Regarding moving out: I’m gonna do some work experiences in my city and see what jobs I like (I already wrote down some numbers of companies). Once I found a field I can imagine myself working in long-term, I’m gonna start working full-time in that field, while still living at home.

So, I’m gonna save some money for a couple of months and then move out. I was planning on just moving out with the money I have, but this left me worrying about wether I’ll be able to pay the bills. Don’t wanna stress myself more with my recent mental health.

Gonna formulate the goals later
My Progress Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1564

My Mental Health Log: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=1416
User avatar
Crimson
Posts: 698 | Thanks: 702
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 3:12 pm
Name: Brandon
Goal: Move out
Age: 21
Motto: TAKE ACTION
Location: Germany

Sun Jun 25, 2023 8:31 am

I will start with some small achievable goals. Btw, being home alone feels amazing.


My goals:

* I will start a work experience by Jul 24

* I will go on one date by Jul 24
My Progress Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1564

My Mental Health Log: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=1416
User avatar
Crimson
Posts: 698 | Thanks: 702
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 3:12 pm
Name: Brandon
Goal: Move out
Age: 21
Motto: TAKE ACTION
Location: Germany

Sun Jun 25, 2023 9:03 pm

Wrote some carpentry companies phone numbers down. Gonna call some tomorrow and see if I can get a two week work experience.

Also put up all the pictures on my dating profile. Gonna do the bio ect tomorrow and then I’ll start swiping and stuff.

Good effort, that’s all for today
My Progress Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1564

My Mental Health Log: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=1416
User avatar
Crimson
Posts: 698 | Thanks: 702
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 3:12 pm
Name: Brandon
Goal: Move out
Age: 21
Motto: TAKE ACTION
Location: Germany

Sun Jun 25, 2023 9:14 pm

This is my current OLD profile. Not perfect, but all I got right now. Order is from top to bottom.
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My Progress Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1564

My Mental Health Log: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=1416
User avatar
Crimson
Posts: 698 | Thanks: 702
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 3:12 pm
Name: Brandon
Goal: Move out
Age: 21
Motto: TAKE ACTION
Location: Germany

Mon Jun 26, 2023 11:59 am

Hey, still banned on Tinder but looking forward to using hinge and the other dating apps.

Is hinge + worth it or should I stick to the free version? There’s also now hinge x, is it better than hinge +?


Feedback is appreciated
My Progress Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1564

My Mental Health Log: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=1416
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Adrizzle
Posts: 493 | Thanks: 176
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2021 2:41 am
Goal: Take Action
Age: 32

Mon Jun 26, 2023 2:17 pm

Yo Crim

Not sure about any of the hinge options

Action is always the most important.

Andy said that messages on hinge are super effective. Either make a specific one for the girl or spam the template. I’ve found that specific “openers” really improve my match rate.

I think these days it shifted to more paying to be at the top of the pile. Ie boost or spotlight. The dom did a good podcast on it in his log
User avatar
Crimson
Posts: 698 | Thanks: 702
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 3:12 pm
Name: Brandon
Goal: Move out
Age: 21
Motto: TAKE ACTION
Location: Germany

Mon Jun 26, 2023 3:04 pm

Adrizzle wrote:
Mon Jun 26, 2023 2:17 pm
Yo Crim

Not sure about any of the hinge options

Action is always the most important.

Andy said that messages on hinge are super effective. Either make a specific one for the girl or spam the template. I’ve found that specific “openers” really improve my match rate.

I think these days it shifted to more paying to be at the top of the pile. Ie boost or spotlight. The dom did a good podcast on it in his log
Alright thanks for the feedback
My Progress Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1564

My Mental Health Log: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=1416
User avatar
Crimson
Posts: 698 | Thanks: 702
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 3:12 pm
Name: Brandon
Goal: Move out
Age: 21
Motto: TAKE ACTION
Location: Germany

Mon Jun 26, 2023 8:34 pm

Bought hinge +

Made an appointment with carpentry company for a work experience. Tomorrow 11 AM.

Messaged a bunch of girls, especially on hinge since I now have limitless likes. 1 match so far, but hasn’t replied yet.

Had basketball training, so I’m really tired. Solid day today.
My Progress Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1564

My Mental Health Log: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=1416
User avatar
Crimson
Posts: 698 | Thanks: 702
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 3:12 pm
Name: Brandon
Goal: Move out
Age: 21
Motto: TAKE ACTION
Location: Germany

Tue Jun 27, 2023 7:25 pm

-Went to carpentry appointment. 2 week work experience is starting Thursday.

-Spend 30+ min. Messaging girls, got like 3 matches, haven’t replied yet.

-Contacted teacher who can give career advice

-Cleaned up the house




Pretty sure I just want to get any full-time job and save money while living at home for a little bit before moving out.

A job to pay the rent ect. and get laid as a main goal and starting a business as a mini-goal.

But one step at a time. Good day today, did everything on my to-do list.
My Progress Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1564

My Mental Health Log: viewtopic.php?f=18&t=1416
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