ReachKid's log - Positive focus

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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jeagle63
Posts: 73 | Thanks: 27
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Goal: Build strong habits
Age: 25

Sat Oct 29, 2022 12:55 pm

Last week I made a stupid impulsive mistake that cost me my job. When I started I made the mistake of not getting into any other hobbies or making many friends outside of work and nightlife.

My energy levels have been super low since this happened, yesterday my anxiety was so bad that went to a social event and couldn't speak to anyone. My identity and confidence all came from my job and now it's all been ripped away.

I'm going to have to take a step back from my previous goals and work on rebuilding my life and confidence.

Today I will go back to the gym, then goto a library to print off copies of my CV, then goto different bars and see if they are hiring.
User avatar
jeagle63
Posts: 73 | Thanks: 27
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Goal: Build strong habits
Age: 25

Sun Oct 30, 2022 12:49 pm

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Last edited by jeagle63 on Sat Jun 24, 2023 2:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
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jeagle63
Posts: 73 | Thanks: 27
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Goal: Build strong habits
Age: 25

Tue Nov 01, 2022 11:56 pm

So I went to salsa tonight and cried happy tears, I've wanted to do it for so long and always let anxiety and fear win which didn't happen today.

My confidence hasn't been affected as badly as I thought, all the anxiety I have is around breaking in, i.e. Starting a conversation with someone or doing something new. Once I got comfortable in the class and the instructor was asking questions to the group I mostly wasn't hesistating to speak up, and after the class was over I had a good old exercise endorphin rush but was too tired to wanna stay and socialize.

However I do feel like my social skills are still lacking, especially maintaining conversations. I believe now this is almost certainly due to the fact I spend most of the time in my room not talking to people.

So this was a baby step in the right direction, and all I can do now is keep going to more and more Uni societies and not stopping. When I'm at home reading motivational posts I can believe in myself that I can have sex like everyone else, and the more stuff I do out there in the real world the more likely I'll start feeling that in person as well.
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ytlord
Posts: 223 | Thanks: 51
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2021 9:47 pm
Goal: Live without regrets
Age: 25
Location: Somewhere in Asia

Wed Nov 02, 2022 11:58 am

jeagle63 wrote:
Tue Nov 01, 2022 11:56 pm
However I do feel like my social skills are still lacking, especially maintaining conversations. I believe now this is almost certainly due to the fact I spend most of the time in my room not talking to people.
I had a similar experience in Uni - the trick is to just start as many conversations as possible. Grind it like a skill. It legit works. I went to a ton of random clubs etc until I got good at generic small talk, and that skill has stayed with me as my social life has gone up and down.

You're still on the right path man, keep up the good work!
User avatar
jeagle63
Posts: 73 | Thanks: 27
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Goal: Build strong habits
Age: 25

Thu Nov 03, 2022 9:07 pm

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Last edited by jeagle63 on Sat Jun 24, 2023 2:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
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jeagle63
Posts: 73 | Thanks: 27
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Goal: Build strong habits
Age: 25

Mon Nov 07, 2022 12:01 am

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Last edited by jeagle63 on Sat Jun 24, 2023 2:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
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jeagle63
Posts: 73 | Thanks: 27
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Goal: Build strong habits
Age: 25

Wed Nov 09, 2022 7:58 pm

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Last edited by jeagle63 on Sat Jun 24, 2023 2:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
jeagle63
Posts: 73 | Thanks: 27
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Goal: Build strong habits
Age: 25

Thu Nov 10, 2022 4:29 am

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Last edited by jeagle63 on Sat Jun 24, 2023 2:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
jeagle63
Posts: 73 | Thanks: 27
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Goal: Build strong habits
Age: 25

Sat Nov 12, 2022 5:58 pm

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Last edited by jeagle63 on Sat Jun 24, 2023 2:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
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jeagle63
Posts: 73 | Thanks: 27
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Goal: Build strong habits
Age: 25

Sun Nov 13, 2022 11:31 pm

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Last edited by jeagle63 on Sat Jun 24, 2023 2:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Squilliam
Posts: 2060 | Thanks: 361
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2021 12:57 am
Goal: Be happy
Age: 24
Motto: Pain is temporary. Greatness lasts forever

Sun Nov 13, 2022 11:50 pm

Just accept that mistakes are inevitable.

You will make a million no matter how hard you try not to.

Get your conversations reviewed by advanced guys and try to learn from your mistakes.
check out my blog: https://squilzpursuit.wordpress.com/

- Do 1000 approaches by end of 2024 (~350/1000)
- Get laid from daygame
- Learn game and stop being a social autist
User avatar
natedawg
Posts: 879 | Thanks: 221
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2022 11:45 pm
Goal: Social Life
Age: 35
Motto: Whatever you do, don't quit.

Mon Nov 14, 2022 12:41 am

jeagle63 wrote:
Sun Nov 13, 2022 11:31 pm
Does anyone have any tips on how to not be so hard on yourself for making mistakes?

Earlier on I messed up a tinder match conversation, I was flirting and I thought she said she would be down to chill tonight. I asked her location and she said it's not far from mine, but I pushed too hard to go out first for a drink and she just ignored me. I feel like I actually should have been direct and ask her straight to mine, because my intentions would have been clearer even if she still ignored me.

That happening though made me upset, I used a boost got a couple extra matches, but as I said a few logs ago I've been slipping up again going on porn dopamine binges. Afterwards today I cried for hours, beating myself again for going back when I hadn't missed it for months.

Next week I'm going to try some digital/phone free days when I go out to Uni and shopping, because spending too much time on my phone affects my mental health and it's probably why I'm feeding the porn monster. I hate that demon so much and I bet most of you can relate.

On a very positive note though I'm getting very into techno recently and been checking out events in my city, and it's been a massive breath of fresh air. I'm having so much fun going out again.
@Squilliam Is on point. I would also view @SpicyBoi 's log. He gave me some great advice about ramping up your activity until you get to the point where you don't sweat a single woman.

Also, if you aren't already, make sure you're investing in mindset improvements. Emotional health will be crucial to your growth and resiliency.
2023-2024 Goals

Year 1: Pg 1-42

"As long I don't quit, I can't lose." - Alex Hormozi

**Feeling lost/unmotivated? Read this:viewtopic.php?p=48007#p48007

** Trust in the process Andy laid out for me: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1279346/11913966
User avatar
jeagle63
Posts: 73 | Thanks: 27
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Goal: Build strong habits
Age: 25

Wed Nov 16, 2022 5:20 pm

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Last edited by jeagle63 on Sat Jun 24, 2023 2:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
jeagle63
Posts: 73 | Thanks: 27
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Goal: Build strong habits
Age: 25

Sat Nov 19, 2022 10:22 pm

I'm going to try and log once a day from now on even if I don't really have much to say.
Today is day 1 of this daily log.

Today I watched the video on overcoming hopelessness on the healthgamergg channel. I don't think I am hopeless, but nonetheless watching the video was powerful and I was able to recognize myself doing some of the things the client in the video was. I also bought on amazon the book on overcoming negative thoughts, and have been reading and re-reading the EasyPeasy method because I realized in the past my attempts to quit porn were successful because I got a burst of motivation / burst of willpower, which the book notes you don't need as you don't need willpower to stay away from poison.

Overall I feel a bit dissapointed in my progress it feels like Ive taken quite a few steps back but, I know things will be ok. My cousin is going to help me with a tinder photoshoot on Monday, and unlike previous friends I did this with he's gotten quite a lot from tinder so I'm going to put effort into it and enjoy the process.
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Red
Posts: 370 | Thanks: 56
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2022 11:14 am
Goal: Get to the top 1%
Age: 23
Motto: You get what you tolerate

Sat Nov 19, 2022 10:38 pm

jeagle63 wrote:
Sat Nov 19, 2022 10:22 pm
I'm going to try and log once a day from now on even if I don't really have much to say.
Good idea. Works really good for me.
There is a different mentality when you know you must post each and every day. Better get some action.
Good luck!

Red
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