Jegg's progress log - Tequila gives me superpowers

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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jeagle63
Posts: 44 | Thanks: 19
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Name: Jeag
Goal: Shag
Age: 24

Fri Sep 16, 2022 2:43 pm

Hey, my name's Jordan and I'm calling myself ReformedGamer because thats what my lifestyle used to be, I basically only lived to play the one game I was very good at and addicted to, because I loved being praised as one of the best players by people and back then I didn't care about the consequences of not making friends in person and experiencing things because I assumed the game would be great forever.

Looking back now this post is kinda long so sorry in advance lol.

Lockdown changed my perspective, and by about April 2021 I had almost stopped playing my game of choice because it had become awful and unplayable. Very naively at this time, I created a tinder account whilst on a trip to London and assumed with my average photos that I could get matches. I got a few likes, but couldn't match with any, and over the next few weeks I started to get really depressed, not just because I couldn't get matches but because I thought I'd wasted my entire life. In hindsight, I was only 23 when I had this realization, and I'm only 24 now and the amount of stuff I've done between now and then is already more than I thought I ever could. I am very excited for the future, and try my hardest to stay optimistic.

Throughout May 21-now I've worked primarily on experiencing new things and crushing my social anxiety. I used to get nervous going to the supermarket on my own, and barely talked to anyone whilst I was in Uni, never went to any social events/seminars etc. So I wanted to change all of this, but also I wanted to start getting girls. And since then, I went travelling, joined back to Uni, took a bunch of drugs (which I really don't recommend, it set me back albeit fun in the moment), got off all the drugs, and started working in a nightclub. Working in the nightclub has not only made things like eye contact second nature, talking to people easy, etc, it also proved to me I can be good at something other than the only thing I was ever good at before, and that's been a massive confidence/ego boost and got me out of depression almost completely.

So far so good.

But the only problem is since May 21 I've only been with 1 girl, (the furthest we got was cuddling under my bedsheets) and she was set up for me by our mutual friend group, I wasn't really that attracted to her and it fizzled out pretty quickly. I made friends with a lot of girls last year but always platonically, I never could express feelings or actually ask a girl on a date. I got into the mindset that because I was a virgin (had 1 girlfriend a long time ago in High school but we didn't pass 3rd base), girls in clubs or at Uni wouldn't want to sleep with me. I only wanted to approach girls at clubs but the thought of actually doing so whilst I was there terrified me and just made me feel awful later when I was home, sobering up and hadn't made any progress again.

Even the first time I discovered no fap and decided that it was a good idea, first try I lasted 2 months, was frustrated all the time with genuine attraction towards people I kept meeting/seeing in person yet I didn't do anything. When I finally couldn't take it any more, I fantasized about a girl I liked at work and after doing it regretted it immediately. After my cousin took me to a strip club it was probably the hottest experience of my life up to this point, and led me to seeing like 5-6 escorts over the next few months. But then I moved back home to my mums over summer, and because I didn't want to spend money on sex anymore; and now I had yet another excuse to not approach girls/try and find a girlfriend, I ultimately got back into porn and fantasizing about the dream of me being able to get girls and sleep with them.

It was during one session I was on reddit and found a link to this website and the tinder guide, and once I read through it and all the other articles, it started to motivate me again. But I knew that reading it once wouldn't help so I kept it open, looked at the site on and off for about 2 weeks, and decided that ultimately I need people to hold me accountable or I'll never make progress.

The "I can't get laid because..." article cuts me deep, because in the past I've said:
- I've never been clubbing/never drank alcohol so girls won't like me
- I'm a virgin so girls won't like me
- I've never done anything interesting so girls won't like me
- I'm skinny so girls won't like me
- and so on.

Well, now I literally work in a nightclub and have been working on cutting down how much I drink, I've slept with 5-6 escorts and have had experience but not sex with 2 girls before, I've been travelling on my own multiple times, and I've been going to the gym and seen small results so far.

So it's time to cut the bullshit.

It's september and I move to my new house at the start of October, so:

My goals:
- Sex, whether that be through tinder, social groups, cold approach, whatever.
- I know I can approach girls in person, I talk to hundreds of them every night in the club when I serve them drinks, its easy. Any excuse is in my head. I want to approach girls in person, explicitly let them know my intentions, take them on fun activity dates, and then have sex.
- Keep improving my tinder/hinge/bumble profiles, and buy boosts occasionally to help, although I want to use my money for more things in-person rather than online.
- Goto salsa classes, take up climbing, try other sports I've not done before. Been putting these off for ages for like no reason.
- Stop using words like hopefully I can do this, or maybe I can do this. I know I can do this.
- Finish my masters course at University and smash it.

Wish me luck guys, when I can I'll update with any progress reports. I think Andy said in one article "If I can have all this, why can't you?", also noting he used to be depressed and have low self-esteem, so I really have no excuses.
Last edited by jeagle63 on Sat Dec 03, 2022 4:23 pm, edited 7 times in total.
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jeagle63
Posts: 44 | Thanks: 19
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Name: Jeag
Goal: Shag
Age: 24

Sun Sep 18, 2022 4:51 pm

Just had a decent weekend at work, and am off to hit the gym.

Been swiping on tinder/hinge and sending messages, I haven't really met/talked to many new people in a couple months so I'm trying to work my way back into it. So far decent, got like 3-4 matches and they all ghosted/didn't talk which seems standard.

I know I need to start doing cold approaches and would appreciate guidance on how to start. I think I get anxious about approaches because when I'm on my own I'm in my own head a lot, for eg walking to work I'll be talking to myself and not really in the mood to chat, but after work (at 5am the best time), I've been talking to people for hours so it feels like the easiest thing in the world.

I thought about writing a list of questions to ask random people in the street, kind of like a social warmup that will make it easier to approach a girl. I know that what you say doesn't really matter, I was just planning to approach and tell them they're cute and ask how their day's going; most of the anxiety comes from the potential responses, good and bad, which is genuinely just because I never ask/approach anyone anything in the street normally so I'd like to change this.

As for tinder photos, I'll make a seperate thread in the tinder forum for them. I know they're pretty average right now so definitely need some work to reach my goals.
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jeagle63
Posts: 44 | Thanks: 19
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Name: Jeag
Goal: Shag
Age: 24

Fri Sep 23, 2022 3:03 am

Update, I need to do the AA program on GLL.

I keep going on nights out and it's so easy for me to meet new people in a bar start chatting to them and start drinking with them, I've been doing the same thing for like a year honestly and at this point it's pretty much habit. We always go to the same bars, end up at the same place etc.

I keep telling myself I don't want to approach a girl in a club/bar right now because I'm focused on this idea that I can't escalate to sex because I still haven't moved into my flat (in under 2 weeks I move thankfully), but not gonna lie I'm really doubting that when I move suddenly I'm just gonna hit on every girl I see. It's too comfortable to just stand their dancing, drinking, vaping, talking shit to mates and random people etc. than it is to go up to the girls. Problem is its so intimidating for some reason, the girls are all dolled up, cute as fuck with the sluttiest dresses and I wanna go up to them so bad but something's always stopping me I don't know what and its super annoying.

Online I've been easily able to get over the fact that every girl I message is just a face on a screen, so I can call them cute/sexy, not care about rejection/ghosting, literally doesn't matter at all because after 1-2 days, I forget they existed. But it's the exact same in person, idk what the difference is in my mind.

So I wanna do the AA program because it actually looks quite fun, but mainly because I'm bored as fuck of feeling desperate but not doing anything. Maybe its a dopamine/porn related thing, I basically have been trying to quit for 6-7 months, with decent success and I'm off it again now after reading the EasyPeasy guide; but tonight when I went to bathroom of this club, the cubicle was occupied with 2 people shagging and whatever came over me I can't possibly imagine but I immediately asked if I could join, got a HJ then we all got thrown out. She technically could have rejected my advance but seeing that turned me on so I went for it no hesitation. So I suppose it must be a rejection thing that I'm struggling with, but also insecurity because all the girls at clubs are so attractive. I know full well that just because a girl looks stunning doesn't mean she's perfect, smarter than me, better than me, etc. but my brain must be seeing it that way and preventing me approaching.

So fuck it, doing the AA program. I think I probably need to stop going clubbing until I've beaten AA or maybe even had sex from cold approach. Because I don't enjoy clubs for just drink/drugs anymore, I only want to go to hit on girls but I never do.

- 23/09/2022
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ytlord
Posts: 189 | Thanks: 41
Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2021 9:47 pm
Goal: Lose fat
Age: 24
Location: Washington DC

Fri Sep 23, 2022 12:34 pm

jeagle63 wrote:
Fri Sep 23, 2022 3:03 am
I'm focused on this idea that I can't escalate to sex because I still haven't moved into my flat (in under 2 weeks I move thankfully)
Do you currently live with roommates or family? Roommates are definitely no excuse, I’ve literally always had roommates and have gotten plenty of lays. Family is a bit more difficult but still no excuse. Plenty of people on here have done it.
jeagle63 wrote:
Fri Sep 23, 2022 3:03 am
but tonight when I went to bathroom of this club, the cubicle was occupied with 2 people shagging and whatever came over me I can't possibly imagine but I immediately asked if I could join, got a HJ then we all got thrown out.
This is fucking wild and I feel like you just brushed right over it. You have huge social potential if you’re already doing shit like this. I mean it’s weird as fuck but god damn that sort of attitude can take you far.
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jeagle63
Posts: 44 | Thanks: 19
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Name: Jeag
Goal: Shag
Age: 24

Fri Sep 23, 2022 6:56 pm

ytlord wrote:
Fri Sep 23, 2022 12:34 pm
jeagle63 wrote:
Fri Sep 23, 2022 3:03 am
I'm focused on this idea that I can't escalate to sex because I still haven't moved into my flat (in under 2 weeks I move thankfully)
Do you currently live with roommates or family? Roommates are definitely no excuse, I’ve literally always had roommates and have gotten plenty of lays. Family is a bit more difficult but still no excuse. Plenty of people on here have done it.
I'm living with my mum currently. In suburbs like 20-30 min-ish from the city centre, and I have pretty much no space apart from my tiny room. It's only temporary until I move into a city centre flat at the start of October.
ytlord wrote:
Fri Sep 23, 2022 12:34 pm
jeagle63 wrote:
Fri Sep 23, 2022 3:03 am
but tonight when I went to bathroom of this club, the cubicle was occupied with 2 people shagging and whatever came over me I can't possibly imagine but I immediately asked if I could join, got a HJ then we all got thrown out.
This is fucking wild and I feel like you just brushed right over it. You have huge social potential if you’re already doing shit like this. I mean it’s weird as fuck but god damn that sort of attitude can take you far.
Yeah, like I said, idk what came over me really. I'm not socially awkward, and always feel great/social when I'm out and around people, until the idea I want to approach a girl comes in my head. Then I always revert back to being awkward/nervous and always end up wanting to go home after a bit instead of staying out, even if the night was good up till then. This is what I want to change.
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jeagle63
Posts: 44 | Thanks: 19
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Name: Jeag
Goal: Shag
Age: 24

Thu Sep 29, 2022 2:11 am

Update, I did day 1 of the AA program, just asked 5 girls for the time, nothing more then left. These are the notes I wrote after doing it.

First attempt
Hadn't talked to anyone yet today apart from parents
time 29 mins 15 secs
I was purposefuly walking on really quiet streets so I could delay doing the approaches, and always noticed that I was avoiding groups or approaching any girl where there were a lot of other people around.
Every girl gave me the time, none thought I was rude, which I expected.
I missed a few opportunities and started talking negatively to myself, saying things like this should be so easy, why are you struggling etc.
Once I stopped talking to myself, and started saying "She's the one" or "Her" when I saw a girl it made it a lot easier to just transition from think to do, and I was able to do no hesitation approaches.
But I kept making justifications for why I was asking them the time, saying stuff like "I was late for a meeting", rather than just staying quiet until they told me the time, then saying thankyou and leaving.

I don't want to burn myself out but I literally have no other drive/ambitions right now other than to conquer this fear. So I really wanna go into town tomorrow and just keep repeating the drills over and over and over for hours until theyre second nature.

This is because I went clubbing with friends from work today, and saw one of the guys who's "good with girls" make out with at least 3 different girls during the night. I don't think he went home with any, but the point is that's 3 more than me, one girl he said like 2 words before they started going at it, and any of those encounters could have led to more. I've got 0. I'm jealous of his ability to say fuck it and do it, and I don't really want to emulate him but rather learn to do it with my own personality/style.
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jeagle63
Posts: 44 | Thanks: 19
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Name: Jeag
Goal: Shag
Age: 24

Fri Sep 30, 2022 3:39 pm

It's been heavy raining every day so I've used that as my excuse not to do any more days of the AA program yet. (ha, loser.)

Finally sorted the move to my new appartment, its on Monday! So next week when I can finally get all of my belongings into one place, not have to constantly travel on buses from my parents house to do anything, I can sort everything out.

I've got 4 monitors back from my gaming days, so at least 2 of them I want to put on the market, thats hopefully around £200-300 that I can spend on newer/more fashionable clothes. Most of my older clothes I'm probably going to give to charity, because out of my entire wardrobe most stuff my parents bought me years ago and I've just continued wearing it, or they were misguided purcashes because I didn't know about the right sizes to buy or clothes that suited me etc. I'm still learning on this front as well.

Actually got a semi-decent amount of matches on Tinder using platinum and the 2 boosts (but not all from boosts), more than I expected because I'm only really using "proof of concept" photos right now, photos that I want to have upgraded by a professional photographer or photos that will get better in time as my style, fitness, hobbies etc. all improve. I'm going to hire a photographer soon to take 1-2 photos of me with my new clothes hopefully as soon as. Contacted a few, just waiting for replies.

I could potentially have a date next week, can't get ahead of myself of course, but one of my tinder matches has been giving me really good responses. Apart from the fact she hasn't given her number yet, but she messaged me today first thing in the morning, now I'm just waiting as I woke up later. If this date doesn't happen, I'm not as heartbroken as I would have been because I'm getting over my fears of messaging, trying to remember each girl is just a photo till you meet them. Just need this thought process to translate into in-person approaches/girls as well.

Been living in shitty limbo for so long, so when I move to my new house I'm excited to actually start trying to live my life.
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jeagle63
Posts: 44 | Thanks: 19
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Name: Jeag
Goal: Shag
Age: 24

Sat Oct 01, 2022 6:48 pm

Update - Did day 2 of the AA program. 15 approaches, all asking for the time. Even something so trivial has made me feel amazing.

These are the notes I wrote whilst doing it:
- second attempt
- only talked to parents and the cashier at a chippy
- 13 mins 23
- again no one didn't give me the time
- I interrupted a girl on the phone, 2 girls with earphones, and one girl carrying stuff from her car into her house.
- felt super confident on every approach, didn't have any fight or flight I just did it
- however I lost a lot of time to quiet locations, and I didn't at any point cross the street or run to a girl to ask her for the time, even though the thought came in my head.

-third attempt
-directly after second
-5 mins 18 secs
-had 1 failed approach with a girl going into a pub, I looked at her and she started running in, didn't knock my confidence
-every other approach was easy. Interrupting doesn't matter.
-was actually kinda fun

-fourth attempt (last for this drill)
-directly after third
-4 mins 14 secs
-went up to a group of 2 girls (they made a time you got a watch joke)
-then couldn't find any girls for 2 mins, found a group of 4 and asked them all
-I feel really good after doing that, and it was only 15 approaches.
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jeagle63
Posts: 44 | Thanks: 19
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Name: Jeag
Goal: Shag
Age: 24

Tue Oct 04, 2022 12:54 pm

Finally moved house! I now live in the centre of my city, 10 mins from everything. Yesterday had some margaritas and a couple shots to celebrate, and now it's time to focus on my goals.

#1 goal is have sex

I'm working towards this by doing the AA program, and from now on I'm always going to talk to the very first girl I see when I leave my house. Did it yesterday and it felt good, wasn't difficult.

I'm also going to join Uni societies, because I want to rebuild a social life again after not having one for a couple minutes, but also to meet girls, get more friends to go out with etc.

And finally the photos for tinder, after writing this I'm getting back in touch with the photographer who hasn't texted me back after I told them what I want.

#2 goal - pile on the calories and build some muscle

I've got abs kinda but am on the verge between under and normal weight. So I'd like to gain 10-20 pounds, keep going gym and make some progress. Since starting gym is like my main endorphin boost, always gets me in a good mood.

#3 goal - stay off porn and any voyeuristic activities

Since starting my journey last year my pron use already decreased massively, and the last times I used it started off with me on tinder/reddit/insta because I was craving an actual person, and just gave in. Since quitting again now I don't miss it. The only side effect is my libido/frustration increasing, but that's a good thing, it's the energy I need to complete my goals.
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jeagle63
Posts: 44 | Thanks: 19
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Name: Jeag
Goal: Shag
Age: 24

Wed Oct 05, 2022 11:52 pm

Today I finally went to try out a new hobby I've wanted to start for a while, indoor climbing. Was really fun, met some cool people, realized after meeting some freshers (18 yr old new uni students) how much I've grown and developed since I started throwing myself into social situations.

Next week is photoshoot Monday - I'm just going to spill my heart out to the photographer, ask him to try and make me look as sexy as possible, and go from there. I haven't got a 225 bench chest and rock hard abs, but still managed to take a shirtless pic under perfect light today that for the first time made me look at a pic of myself and think I was hot. So that's cool.

Also got some photos from work that I'll post here soon, holding a shot board and helping some folks do limbo underneath it, my work clothes are 1 size too big but you all can tell me here if thats a dealbreaker after seeing the photos.

Salsa tuesday to get over some anxiety when it comes to physical contact with girls, really looking forward to this one.

Still struggling to get dates, if the pro dating and work photos don't help then I might be at a bit of a loss with this one. Would appreciate advice from anyone else who's been through my situation. I have been slacking on the full AA program, but for 2-3 days now I've had a conversation with the first girl I've seen outside my appartment, and I'm gonna do this every day from now on.
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jeagle63
Posts: 44 | Thanks: 19
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Name: Jeag
Goal: Shag
Age: 24

Fri Oct 07, 2022 12:32 am

I don't know what to think anymore. Part of me wishes I never even tried. I'm sick of reading articles, watching videos, reading other people's success. I know they're not any better than me, they just have put in work.

Why do I feel like no matter what I do, whatever fun I have, however confident or good I feel about myself, every night I come home feeling like a loser because I'm still not making progress.

What's progress? Knowing my limit so I no longer drink to oblivion? Going to social clubs and making friends so I feel less lonely/more active? Apparently not, because the negative demon in my head always wins. Every time I have any kind of fun day/fun experience, because I'm not doing X with girl, by the time I get home I'm miserable.

I'm actually sick of not being able to think about anything but being with girls and how great it would be, but not doing anything about it. Avoiding everything I can possibly do, or swiping on tinder/messaging girls on Snapchat and deluding myself into thinking I'll ever get a date or match anyone real that doesn't just want to sell me their only fans.

I fucking hate complaining, and I shouldn't even post this because it's pathetic. I just wanna stop being invisible.

Not really a progress post just a vent so I'm sorry. I dunno if anyone is really that invested. Alcohol definitely kills my mood and a tiny part of me wants to be sober.

I guess the first thing on the agenda tomorrow is buy the book about overcoming my negativity.
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natedawg
Posts: 245 | Thanks: 46
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2022 11:45 pm
Goal: Casual Dates
Age: 34
Motto: Whatever you do, don't quit.

Fri Oct 07, 2022 12:55 am

🟤Member of The Browns since 9/8/22

Goals:

-One casual date per month (Achieved)
1a = Hit 195 lbs.
1b = Get ears pierced (Achieved)
2 = Fully furnish apartment


"As long I don't quit, I can't lose." - Alex Hormozi
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Mimbe393939
Posts: 135 | Thanks: 337
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2022 11:46 am
Goal: Learn Japanese
Age: 24
Motto: 頑張る
Location: Canada

Fri Oct 07, 2022 1:01 am

jeagle63 wrote:
Fri Oct 07, 2022 12:32 am
I don't know what to think anymore. Part of me wishes I never even tried. I'm sick of reading articles, watching videos, reading other people's success. I know they're not any better than me, they just have put in work.

Why do I feel like no matter what I do, whatever fun I have, however confident or good I feel about myself, every night I come home feeling like a loser because I'm still not making progress.

What's progress? Knowing my limit so I no longer drink to oblivion? Going to social clubs and making friends so I feel less lonely/more active? Apparently not, because the negative demon in my head always wins. Every time I have any kind of fun day/fun experience, because I'm not doing X with girl, by the time I get home I'm miserable.

I'm actually sick of not being able to think about anything but being with girls and how great it would be, but not doing anything about it. Avoiding everything I can possibly do, or swiping on tinder/messaging girls on Snapchat and deluding myself into thinking I'll ever get a date or match anyone real that doesn't just want to sell me their only fans.

I fucking hate complaining, and I shouldn't even post this because it's pathetic. I just wanna stop being invisible.

Not really a progress post just a vent so I'm sorry. I dunno if anyone is really that invested. Alcohol definitely kills my mood and a tiny part of me wants to be sober.

I guess the first thing on the agenda tomorrow is buy the book about overcoming my negativity.
Define your goals, in a realistic manner.

Don't try to conquer Rome ALL at once, you'll fail and be slaughtered. Your head will be hung on a stake, laughed at by all the neighboring villages, as you slowly fade into eternal darkness. Start tormenting, raising hell to small villages and building up your arsenal, your army, slowly. You are nothing but a peasant villager right now, you just woke up in a mud hut with livestock, homeless.

Self improvement is a lifelong journey, and it realistically takes months, years.

I suggest starting off reading these
https://www.goodlookingloser.com/forums ... -for-goals
https://www.goodlookingloser.com/laid/i ... shirt-year

No more complaining, that's going to get you no where. Don't like something? Change it? Get pissed off, and change it.

Start going for what you TRULY want. You want women? Upgrade pictures, get better style, looksmaxx.

Not much to it, it's quite simple. All you need to do is shut the fuck up, and show up every day.

Guys will give more concrete advice once they see you're working your ass off, hustling. But you have to prove you are worthy for it.
MY STORY - viewtopic.php?f=40&t=1423

PUBLIC PROGRESS LOG - viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1430

Difficulty shows what men are. Epictetus
The world turns aside to let any man pass who knows where he is going. Epictetus
User avatar
jeagle63
Posts: 44 | Thanks: 19
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Name: Jeag
Goal: Shag
Age: 24

Fri Oct 07, 2022 5:11 pm

Ok so my PC crashed I wrote something here but dunno what so fuck it, not gonna rewrite it. Basically, alcohol makes me feel like shit for no reason, last night wasn't even really that bad.

I made a little video progress log about my progress so far and short term goals, I haven't recorded in so long but it was super fun, kinda makes me wanna get back into content. (I think I said but I used to do youtube videos and a part of me misses it.)

7 october 22 progress log - reflection + short term goals
https://youtu.be/ZsMCU4Quxuo
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jeagle63
Posts: 44 | Thanks: 19
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2022 3:39 pm
Name: Jeag
Goal: Shag
Age: 24

Mon Oct 10, 2022 10:04 pm

Just came back, got my first piercing today on my ear, after it heals I think I'm gonna get a tiny ring. Looks decent doesn't hurt too much, and tomorrow I'm going jewelry shopping for a bracelet and maybe even a necklace. God, I might be getting addicted.

Went to my gym induction at my new gym, 5 mins from my house, but didn't start my workouts yet.

After reading some other people's logs, its evident I need to start grafting. For one thing, my #1 priority should actually be buying black out curtains, cuz I can't get proper sleep, always get super motivated in the evenings but can't help waking up feeling groggy/shit pretty much every day. It's cos of the hours of my job mainly, I can't really goto bed at the same time each day. It's slightly pissing me off that I feel I have to sleep 11-12 hrs a day rather than 7-8.

Anyway, I wanted to kinda redefine my goal a bit more concisely. This will hopefully also help with my feels of inadequacy when I'm going out but come home on my own.

My consise goal is that I want to have a girl in my room 4 mondays from now. However impossible that might or might not seem and whatever I have to do. Grafting must start now.

Is it weird to have a spring of motivation at 11pm and go out to do AA drills? Probably, so I'll have to wait till tomorrow. Honestly might have to look into sleep aids, CBD oil or something.
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