Brandon’s 365 Days of Masculine, Self-affirming Action: Day 109

[MILFandCookies]

Tried setting date yesterday. The days we're free are opposite of each other and shes taking a vacation at the end of the week. I'll try after she gets back, but obviously the chances will be low.

Logistics unfortunately get in the way a lot, nothing you can do about it.

Just keep up the action, you got this. You'll have what you're looking for sooner than you think.

[Bman]

Day 98

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Ran my munch
• Vulnerable, honest, and self affirming with Psychedelic Girl

So I had Psychedelic Girl over yesterday before my munch. As a reminder we last left off with me feeling like this...

I will say here, I had Psychedelic Girl over yesterday morning. I had not had sex all week because frankly, I just did not feel like having one of my girls over and did not get on the apps really. So I was looking forward to having her over. Except I didn't get hard. We have a great emotional connection, but the sexual chemistry is a bit iffy. Part of it is that she's shy to expressing her pleasure and has a difficult time orgasming. So I don't get turned on as much. So I showed her a good time, tying her up to the door, using the riding crop on her, and edging her with the magic wand. Then just enjoyed the feminine company and had a good conversation with her.

Another thing is she also has multiple partners like I do. She's pretty open about them and was telling about the other dates she went on in the week. I also mentioned a bit about my partners. Her other dates she's not had sex with them and basically making them wait or "feeling out if she actually wants them as partners". Being poly is something new for me, so I'm just observing what my reactions are right now. I could tell when she started talking about the other guys I felt myself comparing and wanting to be the best of the bunch. I don't think it's jealousy, more just a competitiveness and scratching the edge of the "I'm not good enough" insecurity. She texted me later in the day that was the closet she has ever gotten to actually orgasming to the control of someone else. We'll see how the attraction level goes with her the next couple interactions.

Well we had a pretty heavy make out session and I spent some time pleasing her, but I just didn't get turned on really. Of course I was in my head about it, which never helps, but maybe I'm just not that into her sexually considering days earlier I had Spiritual Girl over and had no problems. Throws me for a loop a bit only because there is a good emotional connection and I really enjoy making out and taking her out to the munch.

So afterwards, with her lying completely naked with me on the bed, I pretty much told her that despite our emotional connection, I didn't think that the sexual chemistry was there. I know I was playing with dynamite with both of us being at our most vulnerable, but I feel I'm a pretty good judge of character and thought we could both take it. So I took a leap of faith. I also told her about some of the feelings I had when when we discuss other partners with each other. She told me she did not feel rejected and was very grateful for me being so vulnerable.

We then discussed what we wanted to do next and how we wanted this relationship to be. Because we both said this was casual from the beginning, neither of us were married to any ideas of that.

Short version: I basically told her I wanted to take sex off the table for now and pretty much friend zone her. Be friends, share our sexcapde stories with, go to events with her because I enjoy spending time with her at those (and she's been great preselection), have heavy makeout sessions, and see if sex with her comes back into the picture for me in the future. Also based on this, I'd like to see her less often than the standard once a week.

I know this all probably goes against standard game advice. And you can't be friends with a girl like this... blah blah blah. I'd rather run the experiment myself. Just like people say you cant have a good divorce and be friends after, I'd like to put it to the test myself. I don't expect I or them are exceptions to the rules. But "rules" are more like guidelines anyways. I see no reason to throw away a good connection strictly because we don't have sex. I'm fine with having a few really close female friends that we both are adding value to each others lives. The important thing here is that she's entirely open to this, we're both honest, upfront, and clear about the boundaries of this relationship, and we enjoy it. The moment that's not the case, well then we can move on. Simple as that.

We then went to the munch and had a great time. We also previously discussed going to Shrine (the monthly BDSM event here) together which we are still planning to do but agreeing that we may be more wings than partners there.

I was nervous about saying or doing any of that, but it sure felt better to just lay it out, being completely ok with whatever happened, and not bullshitting each other.

[Manly Cockfellow]

I took a leap of faith

I'd rather run the experiment myself

I'd like to put it to the test myself

Love it!

We can all learn a lot from you, especially the way you learn about life 🫡

[Bman]

Day 99

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Call with jmand
• Reaping what I sow from the munch

So there is a girl in my munch who has been multiple times. She's a sweet, seemingly innocent, reformed "good girl" (hello, archetype match) who a virgin with some really kinky fantasies. She's actually a data scientist for libraries and has been looking for jobs across the country after just having graduated. She's moving this weekend and time was of the essence for HER to act...

FM.PNG

She's pretty nervous, told me she has had terrible experiences with boys in the past, and is wanting to keep her virginity. Oh religion, why do you do this to poor girls? She is, however, pretty much down for everything else other than intercourse. That's honestly fine with me and I can still have a ton fun. Had I more time, I'm betting I could have opened her up to intercourse as well. She also mentioned she's not orgasmed during play before. We'll see what happens when she's with someone who knows what their doing and keeps escalating.

Anyways, set for Friday. Right before my birthday. Nice.

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[Holden]

So there is a girl in my munch who has been multiple times.

Congrats. Exactly what you should want from social circle stuff. Very interesting to see this turn your log has taken.

[pancakemouse]

So there is a girl in my munch who has been multiple times. She's a sweet, seemingly innocent, reformed "good girl" (hello, archetype match) who a virgin with some really kinky fantasies. She's actually a data scientist for libraries and has been looking for jobs across the country after just having graduated. She's moving this weekend and time was of the essence for HER to act...


FM.PNG

Wow! So had you picked up on her interest? If so, I'm curious what signals she displayed towards you. Would you have made a move if she didn't?

[Bman]

Congrats. Exactly what you should want from social circle stuff. Very interesting to see this turn your log has taken.

Thank you. It's definitely a thrill. It's also nice to diversify lead sources and expand my skillset. I look forward to leveraging it in a less sexual environment if I attempt a founder meetup and nurturing a professional social circle.

Got to say it felt pretty awesome to seemingly do little work for it, even though all the work leading up to it is what made it possible.

Wow! So had you picked up on her interest? If so, I'm curious what signals she displayed towards you. Would you have made a move if she didn't?

Sort of.

For context, at the munch there is about 20 people each week, some regular, some new. We sit at a big round table and have big discussion, share stories, laugh, ect. Every person that arrives I'm personally greeting, meeting, and welcoming into the circle. So my attention is generally occupied.

So I try to setup some passive strategies while I do all this. I'm the most "loud" dressed person there. In the circle I try to sit between a couple women. For three of my munches I've brought Psychedelic Girl with me, which she'll bring me water, hold hands and play with my leg under the table, or run her hand over my shoulders while I'm tending to the group.

We usually go around the table, each person answering a question about sex, kink, sometimes just general life stuff. So these people know I see multiple people and have heard some of my sex stories.

With this girl, I could tell she was into my stories. However, we had not interacted to the point where we had really flirted with each other. Being that I'm the one running things, everyone is giving me a lot of attention, so it's hard to discern if any single one is overtly giving me more attention than normal.

She shared she was virgin, and planned on keeping that, at one of the early munches. So I initially wrote her off that I was not going to pursue. So if she had not reached out and made it easy for me, I wouldn't had made a move.

[Bman]

Day 100

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

[bonzo34]

good move with psychedelics girl (spell?)
you definitely won't be her "gay best friend" lol

[Bman]

Day 101

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

Just plugging away with work today.

Have not really been using the apps that much but as usual these things come in swarms. Passive matches with girls on Tinder, Feeld, & Bumble. Already scheduled the Feel'd girl and waiting on the number drop from the Bumble one. The Tinder match is only here for tonight, so I thought I'd try to pull a fast one and do straight to the crib. She almost took it, but then wanted to grab a drink first. No biggie, but honestly I'm tired from a late night last night at another munch, I'm getting laid tomorrow, and she's decently cute but not enough for me to put in the effort for a ONS. If she lived here I would have.

Also, my full set of viking braids for both sides of my head came in today. I already know these are going to get so many comments because I usually get comments on how nice my hair is anyways. Also bought a simple 2 strand one that I can wear in more business causal settings for just a touch of rebel. Further down the archetype rabbit hole we go.

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[Bman]

Day 102

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Did my due diligence as a Dom

So there is a girl in my munch who has been multiple times

She's pretty nervous

Yeah... waaaaay nervous. She was bold enough to reach out because I think she was really excited and wanted to experience me as a Dom. She was nervous about doing a good job. She said it had been 3 years since she had really done anything like this. I comforted her and let her know it was ok to be nervous. Then I checked in again with her on boundaries, safe word, ect.

She wanted to do wax play so I did that with her, pleasuring her in between intervals of the wax melting. She'd not experienced that much pleasure before and got scared. She yellowed. I slowed down and asked how she was feeling. She was overwhelmed and asked if it would be alright if she wanted to go home. So I undid the restraints, let her up, and just talked and comforted her while she came down. She told me a few things that I won't share here, but this is it what happens sometimes when you're messing with kinky girls.

She kept apologizing and I told her it really was ok, I was not mad or disappointed at all, and told her she did good to ask to stop. I helped her get cleaned up and talked with her as she changed into her comfy clothes (because she really did go all out with the outfit to show up in). She was in better spirits and thanked me. When she was ready to go I walked her to her car and told her to text me when she got home and tomorrow to let me know how she was feeling.

She'll be alright. She just needs to build more trust and slow the roll with another good dom wherever she ends up.

[Bman]

Day 103

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Celebrated my birthday

Yesterday was my birthday so I took it easy, watched some learning videos, read some, and took myself out to dinner. Since today is Shrine, it was nice to take my self care day yesterday. I could have planned having one of my girls with me, but it was honestly nice to just spend time with myself. However it was sweet to get texts from them. Off to Shrine this evening with Psychedelic Girl.

[Crimson]

Nice, happy belated birthday, keep killing it

[Red]

Happy Bday Bman!!!

[natedawg]

Happy Birthday fam!