Brandon’s 365 Days of Masculine, Self-affirming Action: Days 278-283

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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Bman
Posts: 814 | Thanks: 1236
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Thu Jan 26, 2023 12:34 am

Day 51

Actions taken:
  • Affirmations
  • 2nd meditation in the afternoon
  • 0/1 cold approach
Garbage set today, my fault. Was trying the grocery store near my place again because its just so much easier getting off work and walking 5 minutes instead of taking the bus downtown. But volume can be hit or miss. If I lived next to organic grocery store that would be a different story. Anyways, there was not another set after the first. So walked over to the little strip next door and went into a clothes shop real quick. After I walked in there was a black woman, who was not my type at all, but she wide eyed me, gave me a smile, and then stopped dead in her tracks and looked me up and down. I just smirked and laughed as I passed by and when I got to the end of the aisle looked back and she was still checking me out. Second time that's happened while out doing CA. Good to know I'm carrying around some of that big dick energy.
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Year 1: viewtopic.php?p=49033#p49033
Year 2: viewtopic.php?p=66924#p66924

"Absorb what is useful. Reject what is useless. Add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee
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twonightstander
Posts: 87 | Thanks: 76
Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2022 12:53 pm
Goal: Become "that guy"
Age: 31
Motto: The only easy day was yesterday

Thu Jan 26, 2023 6:09 pm

Bman wrote:
Wed Jan 25, 2023 12:04 pm
I think after I've implemented this for awhile I'll start recording the audio. Would be great to share and get your feedback on.
Great idea to start recording your interactions. The cringe you will get from listening to your voice and your mistakes will make you more aware of them and also not want to do them again (it did for me and I'll continue to do it). Also to discuss anything cold approach related I'm always game (pun intended).
Goals completed (2022)
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Bman
Posts: 814 | Thanks: 1236
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Fri Jan 27, 2023 2:13 am

Day 52

Actions taken:
  • Affirmations
  • 2nd meditation in the afternoon
  • New Lay
Lay report. This was a very enthusiastic Yes girl. Id been reading through Yohami's notes this week, so I was going into this date thinking "it's already a yes, so act like it". I could have done better at escalating during the date, but this time I made sure we sat on same side of the table and kissed her outside of my apartment at the bottom of the stairs before going in. Sex was decent, I still had the "new girl nerves" though. Sexy alternative girl and a dancer, was hot as fuck when she straddled me when making out.
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Year 1: viewtopic.php?p=49033#p49033
Year 2: viewtopic.php?p=66924#p66924

"Absorb what is useful. Reject what is useless. Add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee
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Bman
Posts: 814 | Thanks: 1236
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Sat Jan 28, 2023 1:30 am

Day 53

Actions taken:
  • Affirmations
  • 2nd meditation in the afternoon
  • Brain surgery in lay report
Continuing to pull out bad habits or beliefs to turn them around. Yohami's notes defiantly helped. Will add in a few affirmations for the morning with the rest addressing this material.

Doing an erotic photography shoot with Spiritual Girl tomorrow. She's been texting me pictures of her in lingerie so I can tell her exactly what to wear. Should be a blast.
Public Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1397
Year 1: viewtopic.php?p=49033#p49033
Year 2: viewtopic.php?p=66924#p66924

"Absorb what is useful. Reject what is useless. Add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee
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Bman
Posts: 814 | Thanks: 1236
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Sun Jan 29, 2023 2:50 am

Day 54

Actions taken:
  • Affirmations
  • 2nd meditation in the afternoon
  • Selfishly setup date
Inked326596675_1364375557662308_9027885072887951935_n.jpg

Seems small, but as I was texting this girl I was just thinking...either make this easy or I'm going to blow you off till I have time. Didn't want to do late Monday because selfishly I want to go to bed early. When she said no to Wednesday I was like...Ok, Ill just text this girl later. Then she gave a time, which I had available, so it was an easy yes for me. Then she thanked me. Which I laughed at because I was just being selfish the whole time. Then she asked me how I liked to communicate. Honestly, at first that kind of shocked me. Duh B, you lead the whole interaction. You told her exactly what you wanted. And were ready to just next her if she wasn't on board.
  • Photoshoot with Spiritual Girl
Had a lot of fun and excited to keep getting better at shooting with girls. Its been awhile since I shot, so I was a bit rusty with directing poses. But there were a few gems in there. Will post later after I edit them. Ever since I picked up a camera many years ago and shot with some models, I have always wanted to do this. Was so turned on I fucked her for multiple rounds.
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Public Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1397
Year 1: viewtopic.php?p=49033#p49033
Year 2: viewtopic.php?p=66924#p66924

"Absorb what is useful. Reject what is useless. Add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee
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NightRoller
Posts: 271 | Thanks: 79
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2022 3:06 pm
Name: Graham
Goal: Get Career Job, Move
Age: 23
Motto: Win and help win
Location: Bumfuck Rural US
Contact:

Sun Jan 29, 2023 9:12 am

Awesome to see so many of us making progress on 365-day projects
Goals: See this post
Skill-based 365 project
Laycount: 28 --- In 2023: 12 (as of May 03'23)
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Bman
Posts: 814 | Thanks: 1236
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Mon Jan 30, 2023 11:49 am

Day 55

Actions taken:
  • Affirmations
  • 2nd meditation in the afternoon
Public Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1397
Year 1: viewtopic.php?p=49033#p49033
Year 2: viewtopic.php?p=66924#p66924

"Absorb what is useful. Reject what is useless. Add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee
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IceMan
Posts: 20 | Thanks: 14
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2023 4:27 pm
Name: Max
Goal: to become disciplined
Age: 31

Mon Jan 30, 2023 4:31 pm

Bman wrote:
Sun Jan 29, 2023 2:50 am
Photoshoot with Spiritual Girl
Had a lot of fun and excited to keep getting better at shooting with girls. Its been awhile since I shot, so I was a bit rusty with directing poses. But there were a few gems in there. Will post later after I edit them. Ever since I picked up a camera many years ago and shot with some models, I have always wanted to do this. Was so turned on I fucked her for multiple rounds.
Holy shit that is awesome af!

How do you start something like this when you've met at the spot for the pictures. I guess its a bit akward at first?

I absolutely love the direct approach to setting something up and also the 'too much nuance is lost in text' bit.
: Febuary Goals 2023
- Continueing the vlogs, get better microphone
- increase savings to atleast 1200
- Finishing 1 masterclass on music production
- Keep the morning routine in check.
- Keeping up with the workout consistency.
- No take outs regarding food
- Continueing the streak of no drinking/fapping
- Reach 12% bodyfat.
- Continueing the IF protocol.
- Read 1 book and write.
- Write atleast one inquiry of The Work a day.
User avatar
Bman
Posts: 814 | Thanks: 1236
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Tue Jan 31, 2023 12:49 am

Day 56

Actions taken:
  • Affirmations
  • 2nd meditation in the afternoon
  • Started scouting munch locations
So when I get an idea I think that could be good, I get this itching desire to want to take action on it immediately. It just sits and burns in my mind till I do something about it. I wrote up about starting a munch in my weekly reflection yesterday. So today I had to take some action on it, even if small.

So I went to the two local bars near my place. Stopped at my go to coffee bars I take my dates to and asked which days they are least busy. The reason I asked this was so I can make it beneficial for them to have a meetup going on because I'm bringing them business on a slow day. This is a really chill location, hipster vibe, with lots of drink and food options and really friendly staff.

Then went to the bigger bar across the street. This place is actually two bars with a large patio in between. Asked the bartender there the same question. He told it wouldn't matter because they have so much room and heavily staffed. Then he asked what kind of meetup and I just told him straight up its a kinky meetup. Shook hands, exchanged names, and left. This place is more a party vibe, only has alcoholic options, but lots bar games and such. The yelp reviews are pretty low though with a lot of people saying the bartenders always have an attitude (which I kinda sensed talking with the guy).

I also perused the site Peerspace which is basically AirBnB for commercial space owners to rent out spaces for events. Being that its Austin, there are some pretty eclectic spaces. A few around my part of town could work for an event and only cost $100-200/hr. Was just curious to know in case the munch grows and the group wants to do an event.

My idea is to call it YAK Club (Young and Kinky) and limit it to 18-35yo. It's similar to yacht club, comes with a prebuilt mascot, and is inconspicuous to vanillas. There is another group that is nationwide with a chapter here in Austin called TNG which does the same. However they focus on education and events, where this would be more of a social group. I already looked on Fetlife and there is not any major groups called that already. Also domains are available. My thoughts are that I can start a weekly munch, use the other groups I'm a part of to bring the first people, grow it, and then when I start travelling I can hand it off to someone else to run. Then in each city that I travel to and spend 3 months in, I start a new YAK Club in that city and fold it into the network of other clubs I started, all connected with a group on Fetlife and the website. The guy I wrote about here would be perfect to partner with in Austin and hand off to because he's knowledgeable with events, sociable, and well, good looking.

Sooo... yeah, I kind of get obsessed with new ideas. But it blows me away sometimes how much people talk and never even take small actions to see if an idea is viable.

Anyways, next steps are to pick a day, throw it up on Fet, invite some people from the other groups, and see what happens.

---------------------------------------------------
IceMan wrote:
Mon Jan 30, 2023 4:31 pm
Holy shit that is awesome af!

How do you start something like this when you've met at the spot for the pictures. I guess its a bit akward at first?
Andy did a video on this.

Basically you hookup with a girl, tell her you do erotic photography, show her some of your past work, and shoot at your place. I used to do freelance photography so I have professional lights and equipment. So I just set it up in my apartment and had her come over.

It's not really awkward because I've already fucked her multiple times beforehand. Now if this was a girl you have never slept with, it will probably be more tense.
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Year 1: viewtopic.php?p=49033#p49033
Year 2: viewtopic.php?p=66924#p66924

"Absorb what is useful. Reject what is useless. Add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee
User avatar
Bman
Posts: 814 | Thanks: 1236
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Wed Feb 01, 2023 11:59 am

Day 57

Actions taken:
  • Affirmations
  • 2nd meditation in the afternoon
  • Scheduled the first munch for next Monday
Bman wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 12:49 am
Anyways, next steps are to pick a day, throw it up on Fet, invite some people from the other groups, and see what happens.
Well I did that yesterday. I was actually a bit nervous about it because my brain started worrying about being embarrassed if no one came, looking foolish, etc. Reality is, none of that matters. Just try it. See if it works. If it doesn't, well try it a different way. I'm not expecting dozens of people the first time. Just a few would be cool because it will grow from word of mouth afterwards. Of course I'm actively trying to promote it to other munches/groups. Worse case, zero people show but at least I did something that scared me.
Public Log: viewtopic.php?f=42&t=1397
Year 1: viewtopic.php?p=49033#p49033
Year 2: viewtopic.php?p=66924#p66924

"Absorb what is useful. Reject what is useless. Add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee
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Slickbackkhair
Posts: 215 | Thanks: 25
Joined: Fri Oct 16, 2020 12:39 am
Goal: Sleep 30chicks in2years
Age: 30
Motto: Do the work every damn day

Wed Feb 01, 2023 2:34 pm

Bman wrote:
Sun Jan 29, 2023 2:50 am
Day 54


Seems small, but as I was texting this girl I was just thinking...either make this easy or I'm going to blow you off till I have time. Didn't want to do late Monday because selfishly I want to go to bed early. When she said no to Wednesday I was like...Ok, Ill just text this girl later. Then she gave a time, which I had available, so it was an easy yes for me. Then she thanked me. Which I laughed at because I was just being selfish the whole time. Then she asked me how I liked to communicate. Honestly, at first that kind of shocked me. Duh B, you lead the whole interaction. You told her exactly what you wanted. And were ready to just next her if she wasn't on board.
I love this. I especially love how you had to remind yourself "be selfish" while you were texting her.
This is something I've definitely struggled with in the past too. Kudos!
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AskTheDom
Posts: 1265 | Thanks: 550
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2022 7:16 am
Name: Mario
Goal: Coach
Age: 38
Motto: Alea iacta est

Wed Feb 01, 2023 3:04 pm

Bman wrote:
Wed Feb 01, 2023 11:59 am
Day 57

Actions taken:
  • Affirmations
  • 2nd meditation in the afternoon
  • Scheduled the first munch for next Monday
Bman wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 12:49 am
Anyways, next steps are to pick a day, throw it up on Fet, invite some people from the other groups, and see what happens.
Well I did that yesterday. I was actually a bit nervous about it because my brain started worrying about being embarrassed if no one came, looking foolish, etc. Reality is, none of that matters. Just try it. See if it works. If it doesn't, well try it a different way. I'm not expecting dozens of people the first time. Just a few would be cool because it will grow from word of mouth afterwards. Of course I'm actively trying to promote it to other munches/groups. Worse case, zero people show but at least I did something that scared me.
Very well done, you have the skills to handle something like this when not Kink related, so why you don't feel the same confidence?

I'm waiting for my honorary invite

keep grinding brother
Mario "The Dom" Tubone
Your Dominance coach - I help Men becoming more confident and competent both inside and outside the bedroom

MY WEEKLY PODCAST: https://rb.gy/8u2e1z
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Bman
Posts: 814 | Thanks: 1236
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Thu Feb 02, 2023 1:38 am

Day 58

Actions taken:
  • Affirmations
  • 2nd meditation in the afternoon
Pretty regular day just cranking out a bunch of work related stuff and hitting the gym.

------------------
AskTheDom wrote:
Wed Feb 01, 2023 3:04 pm
Very well done, you have the skills to handle something like this when not Kink related, so why you don't feel the same confidence?

I'm waiting for my honorary invite

keep grinding brother
Actually I am pretty confident about running it and getting it going. Just had that initial knee jerk fear when you start something new. Not that I ever let that stop me before.

There's always a spot open for The Dom. ;)
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Year 1: viewtopic.php?p=49033#p49033
Year 2: viewtopic.php?p=66924#p66924

"Absorb what is useful. Reject what is useless. Add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee
User avatar
Bman
Posts: 814 | Thanks: 1236
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 11:26 am
Name: Brandon
Goal: Get Laid
Age: 30
Motto: Pursue Purpose
Location: Austin, TX

Fri Feb 03, 2023 1:51 am

Day 59

Actions taken:
  • Affirmations
  • 2nd meditation in the afternoon
  • Remaining true to the decision I feel is right
I've written about this before, but my mom suffers from severe PTSD. Her friend called today saying she had a breakdown a few weeks ago and described behavior that is evidence she'll most likely have another episode soon. I know it being winter, and that she thinks about family members who passed away in December and January many years ago, this time of year is always dark for her. Her friend, rightfully so, is concerned for her. When she spoke with me on the phone, she just kept saying "maybe you can do something..." and "tell me what to do..." I tried to remain as calm as possible and basically tell her there is not much we can do. What I felt like was this woman wanted me to jump on a plane today and come fix the situation.

What this woman doesn't know is I've tried to help in the past. Getting her to treatment. Talking with doctors. Talking with family. Showing up when she's having a breakdown. Trying to help her with her situation.

She doesn't know the half a dozen times my mom has been impatient, gotten help for a few weeks, and then discharged because she is actually very high functioning. Then to breakdown again in another month.

She doesn't know the years of having my mom completely lose it, thinking I bugged her house, thinking I'm conspiring against her, and blowing up my phone for several hours at a time.

She doesn't know that my whole childhood growing up with just her and I that she also had grand mall seizures. My mom had several throughout my childhood, and every time I just had to watch and wait. Wait to see if this was the time she was not going to wake up. Then when she did, I had to watch her for several more hours while her brain reset. Reality was she did die once, luckily she was working at a hospital at the time and they could immediately revive her.

Truth is, when you watch your mother "die" so many times, you accept that one day she will. When you see your mother have so many breakdowns, you accept she is not the same woman you grew up with.

This is only one person in life I've seen much pain from. I've watched my father try to kill himself. I seen many go to jail or prison. I've watch both sides of my family tear each other apart.

You can't crawl in other peoples heads and fight their demons for them. I've tried.

What I do know is this: whatever semblance of my mother still exists, she loves me and wants me to succeed in life. Every time she has a breakdown or emergency, she always tells the people around her NOT to tell me. She does not want me to sacrifice my life in order to support hers.

It was part of the reason I moved. Because if I stayed in the same city, I would always be playing firefighter. The reality is I could get on a plane, "fix the situation", and it be back where it was in just a few weeks. So then do I just perpetually keep "fixing it", living in resentment as I extinguish my own ambitions in order to "be there for her"? I can't force her to do anything. I can't remove the mental illness and neither can the hospital. I can't wave a magic wand.

What I can do is live my life. I can continue to honor her wishes, the same ones she struggled to lift us from poverty with, that I'd live a better life than she endured. I can love her. I can support her after maintaining myself. But love is not self sacrifice.

Reality of the situation is my mother will probably have another episode, go to the hospital, do some therapy, get meds, and start feeling better when spring comes around. We've been on this rollercoaster before.

I feel like I get judged by these people for not doing more or just being there to help her all the time. Like I'm scum. But every time I try to do what I feel is right. What both I and my mother would want.

I did not start out to write this much. But in spirit of the 365 project, I guess I'm just showing that not all "masculine, self affirming action" is roses and sunshine. Sometimes its making decisions in shitty times when there is no right answer.
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"Absorb what is useful. Reject what is useless. Add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee
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klondike
Posts: 298 | Thanks: 118
Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2022 12:58 am
Goal: Drop to 205lbs
Age: 35

Fri Feb 03, 2023 3:03 am

Bman wrote:
Tue Jan 31, 2023 12:49 am
I also perused the site Peerspace which is basically AirBnB for commercial space owners to rent out spaces for events. Being that its Austin, there are some pretty eclectic spaces. A few around my part of town could work for an event and only cost $100-200/hr. Was just curious to know in case the munch grows and the group wants to do an event.
Yeah I've been looking at peerspace too for music events. One trick is that you can figure out the location (if it's a bar or something), then contact or visit them directly. In that way you evade the peerspace fees.
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