adscftwtf's log + story

The main purpose of this forum; tell us what goals you're working on.
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adscftwtf
Posts: 48 | Thanks: 3
Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2023 9:09 pm
Goal: Get laid
Age: 24

Sun Jan 29, 2023 1:32 am

Hey wonderful people of the KYIL forums! I've been lurking on Andy's website for a while now but I finally decided to become more proactive with self-improvement in the area of women and dating. This post is going to act as an introduction to people on the forum but more important than that, it's a post for me to clear my head about my goals and create a system of accountancy.

So... I am a 24 year old Indian currently living in Switzerland. Moved here when I was 22, before that I was in India. Grew up rather sheltered in Mumbai, with a lot of conflict between school life and life at home, but we'll get to that later. I am doing a PhD in theoretical physics, specifically string theory. Yes, the thing that Sheldon Cooper did in TBBT. I've only recently come to realise that I don't give myself enough credit for it and i tend to brush it off when someone mentions it, but I indeed am very intelligent.

Physically, apart from the aforementioned fact that I'm Indian, I'm very tall (189cm/6'2") but insanely skinny (62kg/137lbs). I would consider myself slightly above average at best and it's very easy for me to look below average / ugly if I don't put efforts.

I have only been with two women sexually (apart from a forced experience in school but I will not count that). The first one, is my ex-gf of three years who I met during undergrad. We both lost our virginities to each other before being forced to be long distance due to the pandemic. I then moved to Switzerland and we remained long-distance for a year before I broke up with her recently. We met only for a week in a span of almost 2.5 years of LD and although I was okay with that, there were other reasons because of which I broke up with her. The second person was a fwb. We were "together" only for a month, back in Nov 2022. We knew each other from undergrad, and she was living in my shared apartment here in Switzerland for her internship. She was seeing multiple people at that time and honestly it opened my eyes to just how fucking easy it is for women to get laid on Bumble, but I digress.

I have been on the market, so to speak, for 4 months at this point, with zero success. The first two months I honestly didn't know what I was looking for, and it showed in the conversations i was having with matches on Bumble. I then decided that I did not want anything serious at this point, and changed my Bumble prompt to "Nothing Serious". Since then, I've had no success, with the closest being going on a date nearly a month after matching (cause I was traveling) but by then she had decided that she wasn't in the right mindset to be hooking up with people so she deleted her Bumble profile and explicitly told me that she would not sleep with me but would still be open to being friends.

I know for a fact that my dating profiles are not at all good. I have terrible photos, and it shows in the fact that I got 0 matches on Tinder in the last 4 months. For some reason I do well on Bumble with I think nearly 50 matches at this point but maybe 15 people made a move, of which probably 10 were in the days when I had no clue what I wanted, and when I finally knew what I wanted, the remaining 5 mostly just ghosted me at some point. I'll probably create a separate post with my profile for people to roast.

According to my best friend, these are my pluses and minuses -

Are you handsome? ... I'd say 6/10. I'm a sucker for height. But you're skinny, not something that you can change.
Are you cute?... A solid 7 because you have tiny face. It's adorable.
Do you have an attractive personality? .... 9. Solid fucking 9. You're an amazing listener and you're funny and you have amazing comebacks. You're good at flirting. You love music and I like your choice of music. You lose 1 point because you take ages to finish your food and you don't cut your toe nails. 🙃
Above everything .... For me personally, you're super smart and that kind of makes up for everything else. I like how you know so much all the time. You're hardworking and brilliant and i genuinely like it when you're passionate about something.


So where do I stand with my goals? Well...
  • I want to bulk to a healthy weight for my height (ideally 90kgs)
  • I want to learn to take much MUCH better photos of myself
  • Get rid of my approach anxiety
  • Have a healthy sex life
I am currently only working on the bulking part. It's hilarious that when I tell people I'm 60kgs they say that's too low, but there was a point in 2021 when I was fucking 48kgs! I started hitting the gym in Feb 2022 and I gained 12kgs in 4 months, before losing a bunch of it because of relationship-issues-induced-depression. But I have regained it since and have started gaining again at a pace of ~0.6kgs a week.

I will soon start working on the approach anxiety goal. It's a bit more tricky for me because I don't speak the local language well yet and so if I ask people things in English, some of them might not understand me. But that's just excuses.

In terms of sex life, what I mean is having a few fwb who I see regularly. Although the prospect of having a high body count sounds enticing, I feel I would much rather prefer a small number of women I see regularly because I absolutely love exploring someone's body and what they like and don't like, and that's just not going to be possible with one-off hookups.

As I proofread the post, it looks VERY unstructured but I am going to keep it that way because I feel like I don't want to remove anything, and it's 2:30 in the night in my time zone. I'll revisit the post either tomorrow or over the week, and probably add more as replies to this post. Ciao!
Lifetime lays - 2/10
Weight - 66/80
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