Lusty's 5'4 fat to fit looking for love log

[Lusty69]

5’4” and killing it, absolute motivation. Proud of you bro. Definitely going to read this for motivation

Howveer, this just reinforces the loser i am

I am nothing special, I have massive struggles right now. Yes I have had some success in the past but honestly, I just feel so fucked up since the COVID shit happened almost like I am a spluttering engine that kicks starts turns over then stalls, maybe get going but as soon as I shift gears I stall again and it almost feels like I am back at the start again.

A huge example of this which is part of why I feel like a fuck up is that I was a strict Carnivore the 2 weeks before my travels, but then I sort of gave in when I traveled to "enjoy the experience" between the temptations of open buffets at airport lounges, to wanting to experience the fancy meal in business class and cocktails all on offer just let me slip back and the old cravings came back for sweets and carbs after they had gone from being carnivore along with just feeling so much better in my joints, my digestion and such, a few days of trying junk food, eating out and stuff just feeling like crap in terms of health which I guess is a good motivator to get back to carnivore, I found some good Brazilian places on google here which I think I will go to and just eat the meats.

The good news is as much as I feel like a spluttering engine my baseline is very very slowly moving up, falling backwards as much as there are parts of me that are hard on myself, I still have gone to the gym at the hotel daily, I have done massive walks, I have started reading again and just doing small things to keep srtiving but I think I really need to build discipline and chip away from trying to constantly search for the next video and the next answer to just doing.

I guess the journey for me is building discipline and consistency, then celebrating the small wins.

I did this cool exercise yesterday where I maped out my life in 3 pathways
Pathway 1 is like the me just being shit and doing nothing to improve
Pathway 2 is what I am basically doing now which is trying and making small improvements but not really going anywhere
Pathway 3 is my ultimate best self if I went 100% all in
Then I also added in my next 5 top moves to start moving toward my Pathway 3

I have a sense and feeling that I really need to do some sort of phase of monk mode to get under 100kg before I even try and add anything else in beyond what I am doing now.

But These were the next moves I felt I needed to make
Move 1 : Get under 75kg
Move 2: Create a backlog of short-form videos (Increase the frequency of social posts)
Move 3: Create one new SOP per week for 52 weeks (Improve systems and processes to make business more efficient and easier to train up new staff)
Move 4: Read 20 books & limit screen time (So much value in books and better than screen time)
Move 5: Focus on positive thoughts (Positive psychology, avoiding negative news and negative people, clean environment)

[rohanp]

5’4” and killing it, absolute motivation. Proud of you bro. Definitely going to read this for motivation

Howveer, this just reinforces the loser i am

I am nothing special, I have massive struggles right now. Yes I have had some success in the past but honestly, I just feel so fucked up since the COVID shit happened almost like I am a spluttering engine that kicks starts turns over then stalls, maybe get going but as soon as I shift gears I stall again and it almost feels like I am back at the start again.

A huge example of this which is part of why I feel like a fuck up is that I was a strict Carnivore the 2 weeks before my travels, but then I sort of gave in when I traveled to "enjoy the experience" between the temptations of open buffets at airport lounges, to wanting to experience the fancy meal in business class and cocktails all on offer just let me slip back and the old cravings came back for sweets and carbs after they had gone from being carnivore along with just feeling so much better in my joints, my digestion and such, a few days of trying junk food, eating out and stuff just feeling like crap in terms of health which I guess is a good motivator to get back to carnivore, I found some good Brazilian places on google here which I think I will go to and just eat the meats.

The good news is as much as I feel like a spluttering engine my baseline is very very slowly moving up, falling backwards as much as there are parts of me that are hard on myself, I still have gone to the gym at the hotel daily, I have done massive walks, I have started reading again and just doing small things to keep srtiving but I think I really need to build discipline and chip away from trying to constantly search for the next video and the next answer to just doing.

I guess the journey for me is building discipline and consistency, then celebrating the small wins.

I did this cool exercise yesterday where I maped out my life in 3 pathways
Pathway 1 is like the me just being shit and doing nothing to improve
Pathway 2 is what I am basically doing now which is trying and making small improvements but not really going anywhere
Pathway 3 is my ultimate best self if I went 100% all in
Then I also added in my next 5 top moves to start moving toward my Pathway 3

I have a sense and feeling that I really need to do some sort of phase of monk mode to get under 100kg before I even try and add anything else in beyond what I am doing now.

But These were the next moves I felt I needed to make
Move 1 : Get under 75kg
Move 2: Create a backlog of short-form videos (Increase the frequency of social posts)
Move 3: Create one new SOP per week for 52 weeks (Improve systems and processes to make business more efficient and easier to train up new staff)
Move 4: Read 20 books & limit screen time (So much value in books and better than screen time)
Move 5: Focus on positive thoughts (Positive psychology, avoiding negative news and negative people, clean environment)

Yeah, i have started reading books as well. And getting offline. Man social media is really a mood killer sometimes. Best to be limited!

[Lusty69]

Still fusting myself with slipping into patterns that don't serve me whilst traveling, sort of annoying living in a hotel with so much fast food and junk food in the lobby, I sort of caved in and have been eating too much junk food at these different places. Malaysia does have really good food but it just isn't great for dieting and carnivore.

Getting a little frustrated at myself for going back into the excuses and holding pattern of kicking the can down the road, along with the annoying super strong carb and sweet cravings coming back after having dealt with and let go of them before my trip.

I kind of am like allowing myself to suck with diet but still hit the gym but at the same time, I am like I have been in this pattern and stayed the same or gained weight for the past year when are things going to finally change.

The good news is a few of my friends/clients have created a gym accountability group where we go gym or at least do push-ups every single day and post it to our instagram stories which is really good to have this group of other men. I am just super hiding and embarrassed to admit that although I did day 1 yesterday I was a complete fuck up and ate a tub of ice cream after dinner.

It is also the 1st of November so I thought I would use it as an anchor point to give the whole NoFap thing a go, I have been in a bad habit of watching porn in the morning to get my day started, so today I decided not to, just woke up, had a shower, put some music on and got my ass into a local cafe near where I am staying in Malaysia and just have been doing some work through out the morning.

I must say getting outside and into the public is the ultimate hack for noFap, I just maybe need to do more at night time rather than going back to my hotel room and chilling out binge watching youtube and porn then going for food downstairs.
Tomorrow I do move hotels so will be interesting to see what that hotel is like, I think the next one has breakfast included, I usually don't book breakfast and fast through, but will see if it is I might try switch things up and go to gym early then have a big meaty protein breakfast and hit a cafe to work out of then do my arvo walk which I have been happily doing at the moment.

It's an annoying thing where I am balancing wanting to achieve certain things and catch up stuff but I have barely defined what that stuff is other than wanting to get ahead on content and read the 4 books I brought with me, however 1 week in here and I have done close to none of that.

I guess it comes back to just fucking relax that's why I took a holiday lol but the fucked up part is I don't even know how to relax it seems, too stimulated and wanting the dopamine hits, even when I went in the sauna yesterday just sitting in an empty room between waiting for it to heat up and then just sitting for 15mins straight with out doing anything was super difficult and is something I need to work on, maybe I don't even know if thats what I exactly need, its more just a sense of will this bring be peace and let me achieve all my goals. Maybe it is about training my brain to do all the harder things and build more capacity to do more with ease, maybe its more discipline, maybe I just need to chill the fuck out and trust that I am moving to where I want to be, it's just not happening as quickly as I want.

[Lusty69]

So good news is new hotel has way less junk food options right down stairs and the place is a little seedy so I prefer to hang at the shopping mall or go for walks to other parts of the city.

The issue is they have a really poor gym, I found a commercial gym across the road, was going to sign up for a month for $70 aussie but then someone else was at the counter after I did my free session and they tried to quote me $140 and I was like fuck off your website says $70 for a month membership as well and he was arguing that I was wrong when the other person before quoted me the $70 so I just told him to get stuffed and left which is annoying as it was a not bad gym.

The hotel gym is just one bench and some dumbbells so I will just make do, but I think food will be better, this part of the city there are more Arabic and Lebanese places so I can get grilled meat, just got to be careful as the place I went to yesterday I am unsure if the guy was an idiot or did it on purpose but accidentally put a random number in the card machine I noticed it and told him off and he had my card in hand and tried to tap it anyway lucky they don't accept Amex so it failed, I lost my shit at him, told him to fuck off and called the manager over, paid the manager cash and left. I guess you need to keep your wits about you when travelling to foreign countries of people trying to scam you, its also why I use an Amex credit card and not a debt card when travelling, if they don't accept Amex then I use cash, this is because Amex has better protections on it for charge backs and has travel insurance included in the card.

No idea what my weight is, but I have a great accountability group on IG and we have to all post our workouts to our story daily or get kicked out of the group haha so good motivation to keep going to the gym daily

[MisterE]

Fellow shortking checking in. Really inspiring stuff I am reading here, keep it up!

Currently I'm struggling with a couple of things in my life as well. Being short (165cm/5'5) and living in a western country, where that is shorter than the female average, is one of my main struggles. In the end I think this is mainly an issue with my mindset. Maybe you can help me by answering a couple of questions.

• Do you only date women shorter than you? And if so, do you actively filter out women taller than you on dating apps?
• Was your height ever something women made an issue about?
• Do you mention you are 5'4 on Hinge or do you not fill in your height?
• Height (and your weight) are clearly not holding you back. On dates, what is helping you getting so much compliance from women that they go home with you? (Charisma, knowing what to say, playing the numbers game, etc.)

[Lusty69]

I think my next focus especially if this helps with the weight loss motivation is learning more about personal branding and taking photos and images of myself in full body in cool places along with getting more content videos out there.

I think I will keep posting reels as talking head videos but I then want to start getting some cool photos of myself, bit of a lost opportunity right now I am overseas but just don't feel like my looks are that great to get some epic photos in cool locations like many other male influencer type profiles that shout high status.

I guess this adds to the reasons to lose weight, which I keep pushing off or going oh I will just have that last snack, oh I will just have that icecream, oh let me try this whilst on holidays, weak excuses, but at least I am consistently hitting the gym and doing a lot of walking so will see how I fare when I get back to Australia.

[Lusty69]

• Do you only date women shorter than you? And if so, do you actively filter out women taller than you on dating apps?
  On apps usually filter for girls max 1-2inches taller than me
• Was your height ever something women made an issue about?
  Not directly but maybe indirectly where they were not attracted to me or I got rejected maybe but I don't really care
• Do you mention you are 5'4 on Hinge or do you not fill in your height?
  I put 5'5 on Hinge, and don't fill it in other apps
• Height (and your weight) are clearly not holding you back. On dates, what is helping you getting so much compliance from women that they go home with you? (Charisma, knowing what to say, playing the numbers game, etc.)
  
  Good social skills and make them horny, good vibes, subcoms, hold tension, deep eye contact but ultimately when I am fat I just have to run more volume

[Lusty69]

Second last day here in Malaysia, and I feel like I didn't get ahead as I wanted to with marketing and content whilst here but oh well I did take some time off to chill by the pool just didn't finish reading the books I brought with me and stuff.

No idea where my weight is at, I know my diet has been horrible with all the different foods and everything but on the positive side I have gone to the gym every single day, so hopefully some of that junk went to muscle.

Funny timing on a few things though, I posted to snapchat just the pool for the first time in a while, ended up having 3 girls two of them sending me nudes and the other just chatting from ages ago, one of them wanting me to see her when I get back to Brisbane, even though I am not dating at the moment sort of tempted to go see her apart from parts of me feeling a little bit of a fraud and just too fat and need to lose 10-15kg at least before seeing her, maybe could re-direct that as motivation to lose weight quick when I get back to Aus and the strategy is to go back on the carnivore diet when I stop traveling which is end of November as I have a few business trips along the east coast of Aus.

As this happened I went to some fancy chocolate place to try an icecream thing they had for dessert, was a little pricey for Malaysia but was a really nice cone, the lady making it started asking me where I was from, how old I was, if I was single and stuff then said I was really handsome which was a nice ego boost but pity she wasn't very attractive however I was like fuck mind blown I am in a conservative Muslim country and thought no chance of dating or anything here then get hit on by by a woman serving me icecream haha. Would have been good if she was more attractive as my hotel room is quite nice with a big bathtub and stuff.

[Lusty69]

So it turns out only Spotify wrapped I listened to Andy's podcast as my number 1 podcast of 2023

[Vamos]

I will read along : )
Are you planning a skin reduction operation after you have lost weight? You will almost certainly have excess skin.

[Lusty69]

I will read along : )
Are you planning a skin reduction operation after you have lost weight? You will almost certainly have excess skin.

Will see what the skin is like when I get down to weight, 3 years ago pre covid I did manage to lose a lot of weight as I was always very overweight as a teen and sort of up and down in my early 20's, usual cycle was lose weight doing cold approach, gain weight in a relationship lol. I was 75kg at my lowest, got top 4 abs with not too much loose skin just a little around my pecs and very lower belly, but wasn't that bad, I know I am 3 years older now, so I think I will just do my best to get right down, combine some fasting, red light therapy and collagen supplements to see how much loose skin there is at my goal weight and if needed I will look into surgery as an option.

So I got back from my travels with a little weight gain, I learnt that environment for me is key, at home with unlimited meat in the fridge = easy breezy weight loss, travelling business class and eating out sparks my inner fat kid and temptations to overeating carbs.

The rollercoaster was peaked out at 119kg then the carnivore diet down to 113.4kg, then 6 weeks of travel gained back to 117.2kg and now 1 week back on carnivore I am down to 114.6kg, I am putting into the assumption that 2-3kg movements are water weight, but because my injuries have healed up, I have also whilst I was travelling and more recently been hitting the gym more often and lifting more weight.

I really would love to try and get down to 110kg by Christmas but I think that might be too big of a jump without extended fasting which is playing with fire as an unlimited meat diet is assisting me with my binge eating urges which have come back strong after eating sweet stuff whilst I was travelling.

I guess it will be a year project to get to my goal weight, so I am still working out what I can do to get back on track after setbacks and do things in the long run rather than a 2-3 week motivational burst or using will power for a short time to be ok with what I think is more emotional suppression hunger over real hunger.

In an ideal world, I would lose 1kg/week so within a year I would hit my goal weight, but it just seems like a massive slog, so I am trying to just focus on the now and today of I am just focused on eating unlimited amounts of my favourite food, meat along with adding in a few fuck the WHO and WEF who want to limit meat consumption and masculinity seems to help add to the fuck you don't tell me what to do I will do the opposite rebellious side to me, rather than having the rebellious side of me wanting to binge on icecream.

[september]

used forum search function on your log for ozempic, no results, but maybe search sucks. but ive read a bunch of your posts over time

you have money. why not ozempic.

the only real side effects are nausea etc.

the rest are just restating the side effects of losing fat in general, like the muscle loss is just regular muscle loss from fat people who dont exercise losing weight. and the stigma against it is pulling the ladder up from thin people trying to avoid their sometimes hard earned advantage being diluted by a new easy way opening up.

theres also side benefits like a lot of people reporting improved impulse control in general. which is fucking rare for a drug and we're blessed that's the case. hell even I'd take ozempic just for that. lottery winner bucket list

[Lusty69]

used forum search function on your log for ozempic, no results, but maybe search sucks. but ive read a bunch of your posts over time

you have money. why not ozempic.

the only real side effects are nausea etc.

the rest are just restating the side effects of losing fat in general, like the muscle loss is just regular muscle loss from fat people who dont exercise losing weight. and the stigma against it is pulling the ladder up from thin people trying to avoid their sometimes hard earned advantage being diluted by a new easy way opening up.

theres also side benefits like a lot of people reporting improved impulse control in general. which is fucking rare for a drug and we're blessed that's the case. hell even I'd take ozempic just for that. lottery winner bucket list

I did explore this idea of ozempic, my sister is a medical doctor and when I visited home last we were chatting about it for various family members and stuff. The main issue is to weigh up the actual risks a few people in Australia have died from ozempic
side effects, vs staying fat and what is the higher risk. For me personally, as I also have an autoimmune condition and don't trust western medicine after my experiences with the autoimmune condition and the whole COVID bs, still not vaxxed still yet to catch COVID. This drug is just not for me. I also know a lot of my stuff is emotional where I have overeaten well past my hunger signaling because it was mixing emotions for escapism and suppression.

I do feel that the work I have done emotionally over the past few years is starting to catch up along with a strict carnivore diet has been much easier to stick to than other diets, even keto diet vs carnivore. I have lost weight before I guess I just wasn't emotionally and mentally prepared for what the Government did so I went into an old trauma response pattern which made me fat in my teen's.

One thing I will look into it's a little harder to get in Australia because they ban anything that makes you more masculine, healthy or strong is TRT, I know going on TRT with my training regimen would easily shed weight quick and maintain the muscle I have now but it's a bit of a pain in the ass to get a script for then need to worry about what I do when I travel overseas

[Lusty69]

Super grateful to have connected with @Adrizzle on the forums as I now have a super cool accountability partner who has similar values and goals.

I did have one day of slip up on the diet stuff but back strongly on the diet again down to 114kg aiming to just go hard between now and Christmas, so I can get hopefully into the 112kg, 's before all the Xmas parties and stuff when I fly to Melbourne which could mean like adding 1-2kg so if I am down to 112k, small bump to 114kg then just focus on carnivore when I am back.

Ideally, if I can hit 1kg per week loss from the new year say from 112kg then I can get to 100kg by April fools getting under 100kg would be epic as I have not been that since the middle of covid when I gained past 100kg.

I decided to install 2 dating apps to see how things are as I am coming out of my dating break but just dipping in slowly, I noticed with a switch of a few photos my profile didn't do as well so I might flick the photos around and my goal is to get some new ones after playing around with the camera I bought to do video and realised it took amazing photos as well. Sony A6700 if anyone wants a camera that won't break the bank but everything comes out of it looks epic. (unless you shoot in s.cine/log3 and have no idea what you are doing as I found out for myself haha)

Been hitting the gym 5x per week and doing 3x long walks, only issue I have done this 3 days in a row as in Gym and long walk and my legs are feeling dead but I want to drop this weight quickly and the 114kg seems to be a little sticky right now, my BF% is dropping on the scales but weight is the same so I think could be some DOMS water retention or post from the Weekend when I did have a slip up with some carby foods but I have a strategy for why and what happened that day was just exhausted and had nothing prepared for when I got home so I got snacks at the supermarket.

The other thing with the business I went to my mate's place who is a digital marketer and also my client so we filmed some content which was great as I got 5 good videos in one day vs just filming 1-2, going to do another full day with him again and he said he has a few more video ideas so I might try and film 10 with him so that way I have much more videos to post and can increase my posting frequency

[Lusty69]

So crazy shit, I went on a dating app just coz I was looking to come out of my break from dating in the new year. Matched with this girl, had good banter, she commented on my profile saying I am into short girls and said she was tall. I said look to be honest I don't mind too much about height if you don't care that if you are tall there is a high chance you are taller than me, she said as long as I can wear heels I don't care I just said I'll bring mine too.
She actually pushed for a date as I was going to stall her until the new year so I could do 6 months of no dating lol but she was flying out and I am flying out early next week and she wanted to catch up before her trip away.

Went and got a drink, just had some casual chats, I made jokes that it was my first date because I took a break because I found Jesus but then I changed my mind because I thought ropes and blindfolds was more fun. Made another joke I was a born again virgin.
Ended up back at mine, my couch was set up for me filming reels for my business I gave her a glass of water and as we sat on the couch I just said welcome to my onlyfans studio and she choked on her water and started laughing.

Didn't expect much really but ended up with the usual stuff on the couch then to the bedroom, the interesting part is I just took control even though she was 4-5" taller than me and she said she really enjoyed me being dominate.

She also mentioned that dating was hard being tall because short dudes are insecure and don't go after her and taller dudes she has met want shorter girls, man everyone in the dating pool goes after shorter girls, well I do love short and small women so I don't blame even the taller dudes wanting them as well. But yeah she said she liked shorter guys which was cool and I had an enjoyable time.

There goes #75

Oh also to anyone reading this FUCK YOUR EXCUSES I AM 113kg 5'4 and I got laid with a 5'9 girl on my first date from an app since taking a 6-month break. If I can do that then so can you, no fucking excuses only you are holding yourself back!