hyrtsmyrts log

[hyrtsmyrts]

Hi all. I was reading logs by all you absolute legends so decided sharing my own journey. I am trying to write as well as I can & make it useful and interesting for you guys. English is not my native language so I might have some weird sentences and structures.

I started dating again after a long pause. I downloaded Tinder and knew what to expect. I knew the app is going to make me addicted to swiping. I was also expecting that at times I will be frustrated because I don't have any matches and on other days I will have so many matches that there is no time to meet them all.

Last time I was dating during the pandemics. So this time there were TONS more girls out there. I'm living in a busy area so I have set the distance to 4km and haven't ever swiped the stack dry.

I had some decent new photos but my biggest weakness right now is that I have only one photo taken with a pro camera in a photoshoot. That's my first goal: go have a photoshoot with my friend who has an epic camera and knows how to use it. He's dating too so he knows what we're after.

My second goal: none of my pictures are screaming for sex. They are at best cool / manifest value but they don't show my body too well and there are no BDSM or sex references over there. I'm dreaming either of a shibari pic in a scene with a hot girl tied up in an aesthetic way or something similar to Andy.

My third goal: improve my looks. Hit the gym again (I've had a break...). Find some sexy clothes that fit me & give the right vibe.

---

Tinder date report: A 27-year old hairdresser, karaoke singer and a pub crawler.

First date after a long time. I matched with a girl who lives on the same street than I do. Since there was nothing sexual in my profile pics but some mentions of BDSM and domination in my bio I had to screen her in the discussion. After some play of words I asked her if she's into BDSM. She said it's weird to be so straightforward about that but she's kinda openminded and has lots of sex experience in general. But that she wants to get to know people whether it leads to something or not. If I would have had dozens of other girls ready to go I would have called it off at this stage. You cannot obviously know if she wants sex on first date or if she wants to test you. It's making me always nervous and increasing the pressure.

We arranged a date at a nearby bar. However, last minute she said that she just came from work and is hungry so wanted to grab something small to eat. That went nice and we had a nice and chill conversation with some joking. She is a hairdresser, decent style but not insanely beautiful. Then the next mistake: her boss texted her to reschedule some customer and she did it there. I gave her some shit about it playfully. But I don't think it's respectful to handle work stuff during a date. Definitely kills the romantic and sexy vibe if nothing else.

We went for wine for another place. She was expecting that we sit across the table like all people do but I put my chair next to her. That is a thing I have struggled at the past. I didn't make much contact but we had a fun conversation going on. Then we went to a nearby place for karaoke because she said she's into it + wants to do it. I figured why not. Some of you guys would never have even scheduled a date with this kind of girl let alone not pull already. But I was feeling that I just wanna have fun and live in the moment. I wasn't sure if I was super horny or needy at that point so just wanted to see what happens.

She is an alcoholic. Maybe not the trashiest kind but still one. She knew lots of staff from the bar and told me she's a regular. I don't understand the culture as I come from a different background but for some it's normal. I'm more into sporty, geeky, spiritual and otherwise active people. She had a lot of drinks and said she's a bit drunk. Idk why but it has always been appealing to me when girls say that. They seem more easy & open to stuff. Now that I'm writing this I think I will never ever have alcohol myself before BDSM sex or want a partner who does that. After 3 glasses of wine and a few shots nobody can give you good sex. And needless to say that if you do the same your dick will be soft as a rug.

We sang a few songs, even one together. I have to say that it was super fun. She showed me her tattoo in her back, opened her shirt a bit for that and I touched the tattoo while I was checking it. I engaged with a lot of touch with her and we even danced. I would have kissed her and took her to my place but there were a few blockers. First, she was constantly checking her phone because her roommate had a crisis. Kinda understandable but also rude imo. Second, there were lots of ppl at the bar so at times some would sit in our table because there were free seats for like 6 ppl and it was just the two of us. Third: the queue for karaoke was long and we were waiting for her song so we wouldn't possibly have went before that.

We had some discussion that was going in the right direction but it kinda died. I didn't have any idea what to say because she didn't ask me anything or react to anything I told about myself and I got a little bit tired so I just was listening to the music, vibing and singing along. She did the same. It wasn't awkward for me.

She was kind of avoidant at times and acting weirdly. Maybe confused or nervous? She tried to cure that with alcohol. I'm also sure that since she knew lots of people from the bar she wouldn't have wanted them to see her mess around with some dude. We were on her territory. She had the upper hand, knew the meta better than I did. The hell, I don't even know which songs to pick on karaoke. I picked some really lousy and not-cool songs. She could obviously tell that I didn't know shit but I didn't give a fuck.

Our date ended by she saying that she's gonna see her roommate. Which was totally fine for me: I sensed that it's not going anywhere, she's gonna make me drink way too much alcohol, lose my sleep and I'm not gonna get anything out of it. It felt awesome to not feel needy but above the situation.

I hugged her goodbye, didn't go for the kiss and we parted. She offered to give me her number so we can meet later. I took it and sent her a funny text immediately there.

Later that night she sent me message that it'd be nice to cuddle. I'm really bad at this kind of texts. One because I think I'm 100% sure to get pussy so I start to act stupid. It can appear as needy and scare the girls off. Also the girls never want to admit that they're DTF even when they wanna cuddle you at 1am which obviously means sex. I told her my address and "you know where to find me" which she didn't pick. I ignored her messages for a while since I wasn't super horny. Then she said she's at a nearby grill. If I wanted to score her this would have been my cue. Then she sent a text that the queue is too long so she's gonna go home. When I answered to her she said she's at home. I told her that cuddles would be fun, what's her address. She gave me the address and the door code. It was literally 2min walk from my home. When I went there I didn't get her any more answers about the room number and obviously couldn't meet up with her. I waited for her text for about 10 or 15 minutes. Then went home and didn't answer her anything.

I got a text from her at 9am that she passed out with a phone in her hand. Another reason to avoid women who are into alcohol. She would have been boring anyways if she was so close to passing out and we would not have had any sex.

I told her that it was uncool. I could have tried to play that I'm ok but I don't care. I don't probably ever want to see her again even though she lives next door but I'll leave the possibility there. She apologised but also gave some excuses.

I think she's obviously into me. Thinks I'm cool and handsome. She made the initiative to meet again later. But I couldn't give her the dominant and alpha vibe. Maybe because I'm not that fully yet. I'm still on my journey to become one. That's fine.

One more thing: the girl is always as pretty as their worst photo. Just check their worst photo and you'll know what they look like irl. I've learned this the hard way with some catfishes.

---

I think every date teaches me things about myself, people, some cool places and activities and discussion. Some of you are more efficient in getting lays which is fine. I guess for me it's not only about lays. If it was I guess I'd just buy an escort. It's about changing myself and challenging myself. You all have to admit: the chase is fun. After that wears off there's not much left.

I have a few dates coming up that I have to manage. One today. I think I'm too hung over and tired to do it. She seemed less alcoholic and more into pole dancing, singing and cats so we could vibe. However, another mistake: I didn't give her the sexual vibe over pics or text so she's probably thinking I'm boyfriend material. Please guys don't do same mistakes than I do.

Another date with a super sexy and smart polyamorous girl. I was super up front with her about meeting other girls and having BDSM sex. Obviously she said that such things require trust but she also said she's tried it and loved it. We are meeting either today or next week.

[Crisis_Overcomer]

Kudos for taking action and logging stuff. We need more guys like you.

[colgate]

English is not my native language so I might have some weird sentences and structures.

you know the post is going to be good when the dude preemptively apologizes for his english

[Mindset]

Tinder date report: A 27-year old hairdresser, karaoke singer and a pub crawler.

There was absolutely no need to start your first log post with such a banger date report, great read.
Looking forward to seeing more.

[hyrtsmyrts]

Wtf guys, thank you so much for your support! I have more.

Yesterday I would have had a date with a singer & poledancer but I cancelled it because of two reasons. 1. I was tired from the previous date and out of mood for meeting her. 2. I had the potential of meeting another girl who I was more into.

Indeed I had my second date with the polyamorous phd girl who's into bicycling and meditation. Just like me but female. I had checked her vibes about BDSM and she said it's cool for her. I have to say I was having high hopes for this girl. But they got crushed as soon as we met.

I got the idea that she has nice meaty legs and booty and that she's quite short. I got only the second one correct. She was super skinny. I can't possibly get aroused of such build so I ended up having a small chat with her, having fun and calling it a day. That's totally ok for me: I love connecting with new people. Especially ones who are into the same things as I am so I didn't return home as a loser.

Ways to prevent such things happening?
- Ask her for ig. If she hasn't got any ask her for more pics
- List your preferences in your Tinder bio: "my weaknesses: short girls, bubble butts, curly hair". Makes the girls want to validate themselves to you.
- OR: just be honest with her if she's nothing like you expected from the pics. No hard feelings, you can be polite about it.

Anyways, like Andy said: it's a numbers game. I'll just keep on scrolling.

---

I had an emotional rollercoaster today. Been sick early week and had bad sleep so that might have been it. It's also not that long since I broke up with my ex and I'm not totally over that. She was a big emotional support for me even though she also was a time and energy sink. Not a big deal but you gotta process that shit.

I went bouldering, did some weights training and had a walk. I weighed 82kg in January. Now I was 72kg. Got into a little bit of a bad shape during my last LTR. Remember guys that happens easily if you're getting too relaxed and forget to take care of yourself. Especially difficult for me is to align my habits with the partners. Like regular sleeping schedule and diet. Never date with people who consume way more junk food, junk media or alcohol than you. Otherwise you get fucked up.

I feel like I need to shape up. I'm starting a calisthenics workout plan and vegan diet.

Regarding my feelings. I have no fucking idea what I'm doing in the dating market. Probably going to find some fun people to explore my sexuality with. It's been too long since I've tied somebody up and spanked them. My ex was into that kind of stuff but was extra sensitive and hesitant for any rough stuff. She also got super anxious if she lost control of her hands so I mostly tied up her tits. Pro tip btw if you wanna get someone easily into shibari/bondage.

Speaking of which. There is a shibari club near my place. They have open practise every Friday. I will go there and hopefully learn some new tricks + meet some cool openminded hippy girls. There are also happenings on Fetlife which I should explore. Just haven't had the energy to set up a decent profile there. It seems impossible to get a date from there since girls probably get bombarded by all these super experienced guys and have gotten used to quite good service.

I feel that overall I have the control over my life. I'm practising for my solo guitar concert every day. I'm back into physical training after being sick. I'm getting matches slowly but surely. I have all the responsibility and control to change my situation.

I'm fucking frustrated that I don't get matches with hot sporty girls. It means I have to be a hot sporty guy first. I also have second thoughts if I should be hunting any girls to begin with. Which is totally normal to get at this point. I want to be at the top 5% by the end of this year. I want to get any fucking girl I want and apparently being better looking is the way to go.

I'm going to dedicate to my craft like a monk and work slowly towards my goals. I'm putting all the mediocre girls at the second place and myself as my first priority.

(to be continued...)

[hyrtsmyrts]

I will continue my log here: viewtopic.php?f=40&t=2076

I will post some personal stuff + pics that are better not found on Google.