Hey everyone! Need help!
I have totally procrastinated posting here. I was lurking since I was afraid you guys would be mean but taking action on my own I came to realize I definingly need help. My goal is to eventually find a long term relationship, but pick the right person. I am a virgin, never had a huge urge to purse girls so I am really shit at it. Good social skills, have lots of friends I absolutely love. Feel like a total normie with a pretty low sex drive in the forms tho.
I hired a styles, and got a photoshoot done but still get one match every few days on Tinder with platinum. I was one outfit andy for a long time, so I really liked the outfits but of course its not working. I haven't gone all in on all the dating apps yet, will set it up slowly for sure (feeling iffy since tinder is such a flop)
Feedback would be greatly appreciated!!
I'm happy with the photos, so I'm a really bad judge of it I guess.
Tinder profile:
download/file.php?mode=view&id=11933
Body: 14-15% body fat, 151LBs - 285 bench, 415 deadlift, 375 squat (These are numbers from 3 months ago now, ruptured by chest benching without warmup, mostly do calisthenics... look the exact same) Work out 3x a week for the past 5 years on-off through many injuries, run 5x a week, and climb 2-3x a week. Learned my lesson through many many injuries so solid warm up before every workout and climbing ses. Willing to drop to 10-11% if needed but I've been and didn't really enjoy the feeling + I was way more injury prone given my activity levels.
download/file.php?mode=view&id=11932
Current thoughts :
1 - Feedback, Figure out wtf is not working
2 - General self improvement, new goals? I do have 10 year goals, and eulogy goals in-mind so goal alignment is needed. I would hate myself if I became a fuckboi
3 - Monthly photoshoot (probably find someone way cheaper since this service took some saving)
4 - repeat, until I get good results -> get good with girls -> eventually find the right person for a relationship
Sabe's Logs, Tinder, Dating, + generally tryina improve with girls
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pancakemouse
- Posts: 1825 | Thanks: 1090
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2021 4:14 pm
- Goal: Master cold approach
- Age: 33
I would remove photo 5.
Absolutely get a shirtless shot in there as soon as possible. Your genetics and v-taper are seriously impressive. I would even consider throwing the mirror shot in right away, even though mirror shots are taboo.
As far as looks, find the best hairstylist in your city and get the most trendy haircut possible. Your current haircut makes you look 10+ years older.
You could also stand to wear some younger clothing, right now you're very "Jerry Seinfeld" which again ages you.
What's the population of your metro area / where do you live? How many profiles are you swiping right on per day? One match every few days feels too low for a profile of this quality.
Absolutely get a shirtless shot in there as soon as possible. Your genetics and v-taper are seriously impressive. I would even consider throwing the mirror shot in right away, even though mirror shots are taboo.
As far as looks, find the best hairstylist in your city and get the most trendy haircut possible. Your current haircut makes you look 10+ years older.
You could also stand to wear some younger clothing, right now you're very "Jerry Seinfeld" which again ages you.
What's the population of your metro area / where do you live? How many profiles are you swiping right on per day? One match every few days feels too low for a profile of this quality.
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sabe
- Posts: 14 | Thanks: 9
- Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2023 12:11 am
- Name: sabe
- Goal: Get Laid
- Age: 21
thanks for the really quick feedback really appreciate it dude!!
Removed the 5th picture. Should I add any other photos from the photoshoot?
Will go shopping this weekend for some "Younger" looking clothes. Need to talk to my stylist for what that means or if anyone can point me in the right direction would appreciate! Also found out my tinder was busted lol, all my matches disappear. So I only had one in the past three days. I went on the website this morning and had 6 matches yesterday who woulda thought? Still need to get some more photos taken with different vibe huh. I'll throw in the shirtless photo in there for now, will try to get one done as well.
From seattle, center of the city. Swipe pretty fast for 15 minutes at the end of each day.
Removed the 5th picture. Should I add any other photos from the photoshoot?
Will go shopping this weekend for some "Younger" looking clothes. Need to talk to my stylist for what that means or if anyone can point me in the right direction would appreciate! Also found out my tinder was busted lol, all my matches disappear. So I only had one in the past three days. I went on the website this morning and had 6 matches yesterday who woulda thought? Still need to get some more photos taken with different vibe huh. I'll throw in the shirtless photo in there for now, will try to get one done as well.
From seattle, center of the city. Swipe pretty fast for 15 minutes at the end of each day.
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sabe
- Posts: 14 | Thanks: 9
- Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2023 12:11 am
- Name: sabe
- Goal: Get Laid
- Age: 21
Removed picture 5 and 7, after the tinder bug I get a match every other day. I did one boost Friday night, and another Saturday morning and both only gave a single match. For each of the matches, I get ghosted when I ask for the number, well there were 4 people that I asked so far so not much of a numbers game yet. This is my first time taking dating game seriously and holy fuck does it mess with my general productivity. Swiping everyday has slowly been increasing libido, and it gets me hella distracted. I got a haircut and new piercings, I didn't end up buying new clothes yet. Need to do that, most likely next weekend go to the mall or something.
I'll keep the routine up of swiping and messaging, I downloaded bumble, hinge, and a few others as well. No luck there. Been reading some of the other forms and its been a huge inspiration, especially @colgate's Logs and @MakingAComeback's the amount of work you guys put in is actually insane. 2 months ago, I attempted the AA program but couldn't make it past day 8. I legit approached 11 girls for directions the first day, then 8 girls the next day, then 5 girls the next day, on the 4th day I walked 30 minutes to a mall walked around for 2 hours and couldn't even get myself to ask someone for the time and walked another 30 minutes back home. 4 days in a row stuck on day 8 gave up because it was effecting my work productivity. It was a huge mental hurdle, I've been thinking of jumping back into it, but going much lighter. Following KYIL's one approach a day challenge.
I'll keep the routine up of swiping and messaging, I downloaded bumble, hinge, and a few others as well. No luck there. Been reading some of the other forms and its been a huge inspiration, especially @colgate's Logs and @MakingAComeback's the amount of work you guys put in is actually insane. 2 months ago, I attempted the AA program but couldn't make it past day 8. I legit approached 11 girls for directions the first day, then 8 girls the next day, then 5 girls the next day, on the 4th day I walked 30 minutes to a mall walked around for 2 hours and couldn't even get myself to ask someone for the time and walked another 30 minutes back home. 4 days in a row stuck on day 8 gave up because it was effecting my work productivity. It was a huge mental hurdle, I've been thinking of jumping back into it, but going much lighter. Following KYIL's one approach a day challenge.
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sabe
- Posts: 14 | Thanks: 9
- Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2023 12:11 am
- Name: sabe
- Goal: Get Laid
- Age: 21
Apps has given me nothing, I don't know how to text man I'm so shit. If I follow the tinder guide I get ghosted faster than i can say "what do you do for fun?" LMAOO, all good I realized I don't really have that much approach anxiety if I talk with everyone around and be a social guy. The goals was to talk to one girl a day, I will just keep doing this till I feel like I have close to no approach anxiety. Then ima do a 30 day approach challenge. I'll try to log every few days so I don't forget, still swiping, still texting, but also trying to do shit in person. I am serious, I will get laid, I will have a dating life, and eventually, I will have a girlfriend.
Actions:
Monday - talked with a girl on the way to work, she had cute banana ear rings. We talked for 15 minutes, and then she had to go. I was too much of a bitch to ask for her number, and she looked like she wanted it too
. After work I walked around to try to talk to girls, buuut started a convo with a dude straight grinding (works all day chem eng, who is learning unity for vr for fun) I kinda got too engrossed in the convo and ended up walking with him for 10 minutes. Went into a target, there were so many people here in groups I was too much of a pussy to talk to anybody. Finally I complimented a girl on her neckle and said hi, she looked at me gave a "ha, thanks" and went back to her phone...
2 girls - 0 numbers
Tuesday - talked to a girl on the bus to work again lol, I did get her number but I was sooo friendly, 0 intentions, man I just can't. After work i went to a meditation gathering, meditated and listened to a dhamma talk for 2 hours. My backkk ouch. On the way back talked to a girl, she was a milf. She was really into the convo, annnd we talked for 5 minutes... got to the light and I fucking walked away like a little bitch instead of asking for her number. She looked legit sad dude, I turned back and she was still looking at me AHHH
2 girls - 1 number
Wednesday - Talked to a girls on the way to work, busy getting late to work or something. Said have a nice day and moved on. After work, talked to this lady in her late 30s, super nice conversation... I wasn't really feeling her but I was mad at myself for not asking for numbers so I asked her for her number and got it. Transferred bus, talked to this super cute college student. It was such a fun convo but like 0 intent lmaoo I will get better... exchanged numbers. Talked to another girl on the way back, looked cute from the back but the face ehh she had a mustachio. Went home, hit up the college student for dinner! Super nice friendly date where I showed 0 intention of wanting to date her ::::((. She was really fun to talk to tho, cornell cs kid hella smart, all the same interestsFUCK the rejection is coming and I know it. On the way back I chatted up this girl and she legit said "my day has been awful, but aren't they all" and I bounced quicker than any time I had approach anxiety. She looked straight depressed, killed my after date vibes.
4-5 girls (don't remember all) - 2 numbers - 1 date (friendly)
Journaling - general reflection: I need to show my balls, but I'm proud of what I have done so far
Actions:
Monday - talked with a girl on the way to work, she had cute banana ear rings. We talked for 15 minutes, and then she had to go. I was too much of a bitch to ask for her number, and she looked like she wanted it too
. After work I walked around to try to talk to girls, buuut started a convo with a dude straight grinding (works all day chem eng, who is learning unity for vr for fun) I kinda got too engrossed in the convo and ended up walking with him for 10 minutes. Went into a target, there were so many people here in groups I was too much of a pussy to talk to anybody. Finally I complimented a girl on her neckle and said hi, she looked at me gave a "ha, thanks" and went back to her phone...2 girls - 0 numbers
Tuesday - talked to a girl on the bus to work again lol, I did get her number but I was sooo friendly, 0 intentions, man I just can't. After work i went to a meditation gathering, meditated and listened to a dhamma talk for 2 hours. My backkk ouch. On the way back talked to a girl, she was a milf. She was really into the convo, annnd we talked for 5 minutes... got to the light and I fucking walked away like a little bitch instead of asking for her number. She looked legit sad dude, I turned back and she was still looking at me AHHH
2 girls - 1 number
Wednesday - Talked to a girls on the way to work, busy getting late to work or something. Said have a nice day and moved on. After work, talked to this lady in her late 30s, super nice conversation... I wasn't really feeling her but I was mad at myself for not asking for numbers so I asked her for her number and got it. Transferred bus, talked to this super cute college student. It was such a fun convo but like 0 intent lmaoo I will get better... exchanged numbers. Talked to another girl on the way back, looked cute from the back but the face ehh she had a mustachio. Went home, hit up the college student for dinner! Super nice friendly date where I showed 0 intention of wanting to date her ::::((. She was really fun to talk to tho, cornell cs kid hella smart, all the same interestsFUCK the rejection is coming and I know it. On the way back I chatted up this girl and she legit said "my day has been awful, but aren't they all" and I bounced quicker than any time I had approach anxiety. She looked straight depressed, killed my after date vibes.
4-5 girls (don't remember all) - 2 numbers - 1 date (friendly)
Journaling - general reflection: I need to show my balls, but I'm proud of what I have done so far
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Squilliam
- Posts: 2109 | Thanks: 374
- Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2021 12:57 am
- Goal: Be happy
- Age: 24
- Motto: Pain is temporary. Greatness lasts forever
To my knowledge, the general consensus among the more advanced guys on the forums is that Andy's texting template from the tinder guide is not really too effective. The problem is that it screens too hard. If you are a guy struggling to get matches then you will not have much success with Andy's texting template. That kind of texting only works if you're high SMV with lots of options and can afford to filter out a lot of girls. What Andy's template basically does is it screens for a small subset of girls who are super down for sex. Which works if you have enough options.sabe wrote: ↑Thu Jun 08, 2023 5:15 amApps has given me nothing, I don't know how to text man I'm so shit. If I follow the tinder guide I get ghosted faster than i can say "what do you do for fun?" LMAOO, all good I realized I don't really have that much approach anxiety if I talk with everyone around and be a social guy. The goals was to talk to one girl a day, I will just keep doing this till I feel like I have close to no approach anxiety. Then ima do a 30 day approach challenge. I'll try to log every few days so I don't forget, still swiping, still texting, but also trying to do shit in person. I am serious, I will get laid, I will have a dating life, and eventually, I will have a girlfriend.
I would suggest learning how to sexualize over text in a more subtle way. This is something I'm actually learning right now. It's much more difficult to get right but from what I can tell it's a lot more effective.
Still, your profile has to be somewhat fuckboy or else it just comes across as incongruent.
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
check out my blog: https://squilzpursuit.wordpress.com/
- Do 1000 approaches by end of 2024 (~395/1000)
- Get laid from daygame
- Learn game and stop being a social autist
check out my blog: https://squilzpursuit.wordpress.com/
- Do 1000 approaches by end of 2024 (~395/1000)
- Get laid from daygame
- Learn game and stop being a social autist
-
sabe
- Posts: 14 | Thanks: 9
- Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2023 12:11 am
- Name: sabe
- Goal: Get Laid
- Age: 21
This dating shit feels so hopeless to me man. I'll try to stay positive but its been taking a burden on me. Tinder is basically no matches and when I do I still get ghosted, been trying to get better at texting but holy shit I'm shit. Bumble I get the daily 3-4 matches, and every 3 days one of them says "heyy", I crash and burn after that. Got on hinge, need to learn to systemize texting on these apps since I'm spending wayy too much time on them right now. Realized all my approaches in person has been to and from work on the bus or walking to work, have no idea where to talk to girls outside of this narrow window. I've made a bunch of new friends, even girl friends, but my balls aren't fucking there!! I keep pussying out in showing intent. I told a friend of mine my goal of being able to flirt with woman, and he said he's down to walk around with me tomorrow and push me to actually show intent. I know I just have to keep showing up but its hard to believe in myself. I also saw my ex on the apps today and maybe that's adding to the feelings of hopelessness (never escalated past holding hands and cuddling in college). FUCCCK. That being said I have talked to a new girl every day since I set myself the challenge too, I have complemented them in the most platonic way you could fuckign imagine but I'm taking action. I was on a hot streak last week in terms of in person interactions, but this week it kinda fell off. I definitely still have approach anxiety anywhere outside of single girl standing alone. Put a car on hold to buy, so I can save myself the hour and a half in commute every day but I'm actually scared where I'm gonna talk to girls once I do stop taking the bus everywhere.
Outside of putting myself out there, I've been trying to become a better man.
Been reading No-more-Mr-Nice-Guy, I'm too much of a nice guy. I put women on pedestals when they don't deserve it, have needy behaviors that make me feel bad and I'm certain turn off women. If you guys have any other book recommendations I'm all ears. Making friends, joining communities, Working out 3x a week, running 5x a week, working 8-10 hours a day at an awesome fucking job where I might get promoted soon cross my fingers. I feel solid outside of dating, but the moment I put my focus on it I feel inadequate and insecure.
Outside of putting myself out there, I've been trying to become a better man.
Been reading No-more-Mr-Nice-Guy, I'm too much of a nice guy. I put women on pedestals when they don't deserve it, have needy behaviors that make me feel bad and I'm certain turn off women. If you guys have any other book recommendations I'm all ears. Making friends, joining communities, Working out 3x a week, running 5x a week, working 8-10 hours a day at an awesome fucking job where I might get promoted soon cross my fingers. I feel solid outside of dating, but the moment I put my focus on it I feel inadequate and insecure.
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colgate
- Posts: 941 | Thanks: 1825
- Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2021 9:23 pm
- Name: bulldog
- Goal: BANG!! japanese chicks!
- Age: 27
- Location: japan
- Contact:
your style in the pictures is way too safe, it definitely screams "nice guy" and being brown doesn't help unfortunately.sabe wrote: ↑Thu Jun 15, 2023 3:43 amTinder is basically no matches and when I do I still get ghosted, been trying to get better at texting but holy shit I'm shit. Bumble I get the daily 3-4 matches, and every 3 days one of them says "heyy", I crash and burn after that. Got on hinge, need to learn to systemize texting on these apps since I'm spending wayy too much time on them right now.
this point @pancakemouse mentioned is hurting you far more than he made it seem over two dry lines of text. i wish he put it in big bold red letters.pancakemouse wrote: ↑Thu Jun 01, 2023 11:32 amAs far as looks, find the best hairstylist in your city and get the most trendy haircut possible. Your current haircut makes you look 10+ years older.
You could also stand to wear some younger clothing, right now you're very "Jerry Seinfeld" which again ages you.
...
...
oh wait i can do that
there we gopancakemouse wrote: ↑Thu Jun 01, 2023 11:32 amAs far as looks, find the best hairstylist in your city and get the most trendy haircut possible. Your current haircut makes you look 10+ years older.
You could also stand to wear some younger clothing, right now you're very "Jerry Seinfeld" which again ages you.
you already have a great body, so obviously that is not the problem
you will need to figure out an archetype that would fit you and that girls (of your type) want to fuck, and then dress like that
for example, i came to japan, and since looking like a kpop star is considered attractive here and i have a young looking face, i am trying to lean into that (under the direction of a teacher)
personally i am terrible at figuring out the specific implementation of the above steps (i do not have any interest in fashion lol), @Rags2Bitches is the local expert on this front. pinging him to give input here
since we look vaguely similar and i am assuming you live in the west, i can also provide my old profile i used in america that provided a workable amount of matches in nashville, tennessee: viewtopic.php?p=40299#p40299
but i could have been much more fuckboy and done much better on the fashion front. it's probably a decent reference point though, and i am excited to see which direction you take your fuckboy style journey
💁🏽♂️🐶
5'5" indian in 🇺🇸→🇯🇵, childhood in religious cult, turned teenage internet gay, now aspiring toxic male.
📖 My Story
🥰 dating log
💪🏾 training log
see my interview!
5'5" indian in 🇺🇸→🇯🇵, childhood in religious cult, turned teenage internet gay, now aspiring toxic male.
📖 My Story
🥰 dating log
💪🏾 training log
see my interview!
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sabe
- Posts: 14 | Thanks: 9
- Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2023 12:11 am
- Name: sabe
- Goal: Get Laid
- Age: 21
Thanks @colgate ! You a G. Might take a break from the apps for a bit until I have the style, archetype, photos to back it up. I have plans for photography fashion and the like, won't say anything till I start taking action so I actually have something to brag about instead of getting a dopamine hit for mental masturbation. Day game I'll titrate up slowly. Big win for me today, first time in my life I started a conversation with a girl with "hey I thought you were cute, wanted to say Hi!" HOLY SHIT. I was so fucking hyped bro you have no idea, I don't know if she was into the convo at all she was smiling and thanked me. Talked for like a minute before I ran away like a bitch, I was late to work or so I tell myself... I still only talk to around 1-2 girls a day, but every single one of those interaction has started with "Hey, how's your day going?" or something along those lines. Until today!
I need to get it into my thick head that being a fuckboi, chasing girls isn't a bad thing. That I can still live my values while pursuing girls, it might make it even easier once I start to get good with girls. I want to kill my inner loser! That's why I'm here.
I beat myself over it so much, feel soo behind in the dating game, the anxiety and sadness that I thought went away from months of meditation and journaling, all of those feelings of insecurity really comes out when I actually take action, when I actually take steps towards fixing it. When I was having these thoughts this amazing youtube video got recommended ( ) It got me hyped, JT & dr K and their insightful asses. Need to talk back to my thoughts, so what? "You're right I am behind, I'll keep moving forward anyway, I don't need to catch up to these casanovas, I just need to keep moving forward"
I need to get it into my thick head that being a fuckboi, chasing girls isn't a bad thing. That I can still live my values while pursuing girls, it might make it even easier once I start to get good with girls. I want to kill my inner loser! That's why I'm here.
I beat myself over it so much, feel soo behind in the dating game, the anxiety and sadness that I thought went away from months of meditation and journaling, all of those feelings of insecurity really comes out when I actually take action, when I actually take steps towards fixing it. When I was having these thoughts this amazing youtube video got recommended ( ) It got me hyped, JT & dr K and their insightful asses. Need to talk back to my thoughts, so what? "You're right I am behind, I'll keep moving forward anyway, I don't need to catch up to these casanovas, I just need to keep moving forward"
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colgate
- Posts: 941 | Thanks: 1825
- Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2021 9:23 pm
- Name: bulldog
- Goal: BANG!! japanese chicks!
- Age: 27
- Location: japan
- Contact:
epic first approach and epic way to report it
💁🏽♂️🐶
5'5" indian in 🇺🇸→🇯🇵, childhood in religious cult, turned teenage internet gay, now aspiring toxic male.
📖 My Story
🥰 dating log
💪🏾 training log
see my interview!
5'5" indian in 🇺🇸→🇯🇵, childhood in religious cult, turned teenage internet gay, now aspiring toxic male.
📖 My Story
🥰 dating log
💪🏾 training log
see my interview!
-
sabe
- Posts: 14 | Thanks: 9
- Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2023 12:11 am
- Name: sabe
- Goal: Get Laid
- Age: 21
Progress logs and updates
- First off, I went to a meditation retreat for the weekend and I feel so fucking happy I'm out of the world. General vibes are great.
- Talking to girls almost every day outside of the retreat, few cold approaches but not enough for sure (I really need to just buckle down and do more approaches)
I have been on a 3 dates now. 2 from cold approach, and 1 from tinder. All the dates felt really friendly, the first two we got coffee and it was fun... I didn't escalate anything I wasn't really feeling it. The tinder date, the girl was really into me but I really wasn't feeling her but I told myself I am going to invite the girl back to my place see what happens. Ah man bad idea, every question I asked she answered so negatively I lost all interest in her but I held the commitment to myself and invited her back. Went to my place, kissed her (it felt awful) my first kiss with a girl so that checks something. I totally did not like her in anyway but would fuck. I ended the date right away and said good buy. I feel nasty and knew I would regret it if I took things any further. Now I need to message her cuz she seems inclined to see me again sigh. Discerning my intentions I want to gain experience and have been lowering my standards to do so but I don't think this was a skillful crack at it. I want to continue getting better at cold approach, will be on dating apps but moving forward if I dislike the girl on the date I'm just gonna end it. I need to find them attractive and I need them not to kill my vibes. I want good experience not shit experience just to check off a list. I will eventually lose my v card don't feel too impatient.
But so far so good, life's been great. I'm just gonna be patient with these things
- First off, I went to a meditation retreat for the weekend and I feel so fucking happy I'm out of the world. General vibes are great.
- Talking to girls almost every day outside of the retreat, few cold approaches but not enough for sure (I really need to just buckle down and do more approaches)
I have been on a 3 dates now. 2 from cold approach, and 1 from tinder. All the dates felt really friendly, the first two we got coffee and it was fun... I didn't escalate anything I wasn't really feeling it. The tinder date, the girl was really into me but I really wasn't feeling her but I told myself I am going to invite the girl back to my place see what happens. Ah man bad idea, every question I asked she answered so negatively I lost all interest in her but I held the commitment to myself and invited her back. Went to my place, kissed her (it felt awful) my first kiss with a girl so that checks something. I totally did not like her in anyway but would fuck. I ended the date right away and said good buy. I feel nasty and knew I would regret it if I took things any further. Now I need to message her cuz she seems inclined to see me again sigh. Discerning my intentions I want to gain experience and have been lowering my standards to do so but I don't think this was a skillful crack at it. I want to continue getting better at cold approach, will be on dating apps but moving forward if I dislike the girl on the date I'm just gonna end it. I need to find them attractive and I need them not to kill my vibes. I want good experience not shit experience just to check off a list. I will eventually lose my v card don't feel too impatient.
But so far so good, life's been great. I'm just gonna be patient with these things
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Squilliam
- Posts: 2109 | Thanks: 374
- Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2021 12:57 am
- Goal: Be happy
- Age: 24
- Motto: Pain is temporary. Greatness lasts forever
You made the right decision. I've had many times where I pushed myself to escalate when I wasn't feeling it, and I regretted it every time. Personally I find that the more experienced I've become, the higher my standards have gotten. But as a virgin, I imagine you'll be much more flexible with standards.
Obviously you can't be too picky if you're a newbie. You just need to find a balance. Maybe a girl is not your ideal type, but you should still have some level of attraction to them. It can help to focus on the aspects of them you do find attractive. Like, maybe she's not your ideal girl, but maybe she has big boobs or a nice ass, etc. GLL has an article talking about this.
And it's totally understandable if you didn't want to fuck them based on their vibe/personality. Personality is not a cope at all. While looks are important, personality/vibe/sexual chemistry is very important also. The best sex I've had was looks & good sexual chemistry/vibe.
And yeah, if you're not feeling it, don't drag things out. Generally I end things in like 15-20 minutes if I'm not feeling it on the date. You're actually doing her a favor. It's worse to escalate and give her the impression that you're interested.
Obviously you can't be too picky if you're a newbie. You just need to find a balance. Maybe a girl is not your ideal type, but you should still have some level of attraction to them. It can help to focus on the aspects of them you do find attractive. Like, maybe she's not your ideal girl, but maybe she has big boobs or a nice ass, etc. GLL has an article talking about this.
And it's totally understandable if you didn't want to fuck them based on their vibe/personality. Personality is not a cope at all. While looks are important, personality/vibe/sexual chemistry is very important also. The best sex I've had was looks & good sexual chemistry/vibe.
And yeah, if you're not feeling it, don't drag things out. Generally I end things in like 15-20 minutes if I'm not feeling it on the date. You're actually doing her a favor. It's worse to escalate and give her the impression that you're interested.
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
check out my blog: https://squilzpursuit.wordpress.com/
- Do 1000 approaches by end of 2024 (~395/1000)
- Get laid from daygame
- Learn game and stop being a social autist
check out my blog: https://squilzpursuit.wordpress.com/
- Do 1000 approaches by end of 2024 (~395/1000)
- Get laid from daygame
- Learn game and stop being a social autist
-
sabe
- Posts: 14 | Thanks: 9
- Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2023 12:11 am
- Name: sabe
- Goal: Get Laid
- Age: 21
@jakeD Haha thanks for the advice man, It's really hard for me. Its like I don't value myself that much If I sleep with them, I would rather get rejected more. I don't want to feel disgusted with myself, I'm already struggling with the sexual shame as is. That being said I made a commitment to get at least 50 rejections this month, I told a friend I'd give him 500 bucks if I don't. I bought a car last week so I can drive to work and drive back, planning on going easy on work, easy on social stuff, and going hard on rejection therapy. I want to overcome my fear of being rejected by girls.
Today : 3/50
- 1. Second real cold approach, took me 30 minutes to build up the balls. She was a really cute girl waiting for her boyfriend haha! she was really giggly, and complimented me right away and thanked me. I walked way feeling so much better.
- 2. 10 minutes later, another super cute girl. Lol she was headed to her 4th date with another dude she really liked but man she was really eager the whole conversation asked for my name thanked me and was hella hyper. Made me feel really good I approached her.
- 3. Thanked me, gave me some excuse about meeting with a friend. Happily took the rejection and walked home.
HOLY FUCK this feels amazing. that altogether also took me an hour and half tho. Each of the girls I found attractive :DDD
Today : 3/50
- 1. Second real cold approach, took me 30 minutes to build up the balls. She was a really cute girl waiting for her boyfriend haha! she was really giggly, and complimented me right away and thanked me. I walked way feeling so much better.
- 2. 10 minutes later, another super cute girl. Lol she was headed to her 4th date with another dude she really liked but man she was really eager the whole conversation asked for my name thanked me and was hella hyper. Made me feel really good I approached her.
- 3. Thanked me, gave me some excuse about meeting with a friend. Happily took the rejection and walked home.
HOLY FUCK this feels amazing. that altogether also took me an hour and half tho. Each of the girls I found attractive :DDD
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Thrice
- Posts: 513 | Thanks: 342
- Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2021 8:33 am
- Name: Mohamed
- Goal: get laid
- Age: 32
- Motto: GO GET SOMETHING FUCKING DONE
- Location: Italy
Same thing, one time i literally "fucked" a 4 out of desperation, it was the wrost experience ever and felt so bad afterwards. I have to like her a bit to enjoy it. This simply means she has to be at least a 6 to be honest
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sabe
- Posts: 14 | Thanks: 9
- Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2023 12:11 am
- Name: sabe
- Goal: Get Laid
- Age: 21
Yeah I'm gonna stick to it.
6/50 Rejection counter
4 - Lesbian couple, looked at me with disgust haha! First bad reaction
5 - had a boyfriend, pretty good reaction outside of that but did seem preoccupied since they were hanging with another girl. I didn't introduce myself to the other girl at all so she was looking at me the entire interaction like what the fuck are you doing haha, definetily need to start a convo with a group then state intention (call the girl cute or something). Felt more awkward than normal.
6 - was 17
Numbers
8th ever cold approach - the girl gave me her number. She was cute asian grabbing ice cream by herself.
Another number, this girl I never stated intentions I was journaling next to her she was just really bubbly and wanted to chat.
I love this, it feels amazing already. I'm only at 6 rejections so far I'm really looking forward to the type of person I'll be by the end of the month.
6/50 Rejection counter
4 - Lesbian couple, looked at me with disgust haha! First bad reaction
5 - had a boyfriend, pretty good reaction outside of that but did seem preoccupied since they were hanging with another girl. I didn't introduce myself to the other girl at all so she was looking at me the entire interaction like what the fuck are you doing haha, definetily need to start a convo with a group then state intention (call the girl cute or something). Felt more awkward than normal.
6 - was 17
Numbers
8th ever cold approach - the girl gave me her number. She was cute asian grabbing ice cream by herself.
Another number, this girl I never stated intentions I was journaling next to her she was just really bubbly and wanted to chat.
I love this, it feels amazing already. I'm only at 6 rejections so far I'm really looking forward to the type of person I'll be by the end of the month.