Ethan’s Progress Log

[Toey_the_Turtle]

Hi everybody my name is Ethan and welcome to my progress log. I am here to look for some community to build connections and reach my goals.

This is a copy and paste of my opening post:

I, Ethan, commit to working on my goals and taking myself seriously.

Hi, I’m Ethan and I’m 20 years old. I went to college for one semester but struggled with social anxiety, loneliness and porn addiction and dropped out. I have since been living with my parents for the last year and a half and trying to find direction in my life.

I have held hands with a few girls in high school but never dated, kissed, or had sex with any girls.

I spend the majority of my time doing two things, working at mcdonalds (35 hours a week) or training muay thai (12 hours a week).

My main goal is to develop a social life and sex life that feels fulfilling to me. I am also planning on competing in my first point kickboxing match on September 2nd. I am also considering moving out of my parents house for which I would need to find a roommate.

I also enjoy playing the piano and learning Spanish.

My favorite 5 rappers are:
Juice Wrld
Pop Smoke
Polo G
Boogie wit da Hoodie
Future

[Hankins]

Ethan,

Hey, welcome to the forums and the community.

You have a lot going for you, you may just not know it yet.

You know you have improvements to make and are doing something about it. You’re not lurking and are putting yourself out there.

You’re training in muay thai. Dude, that’s impressive. Knowing how to defend yourself, facing your fears by facing another fighter, discipline, etc. That’s something that’ll pay off in so many ways.

The piano playing means you’re in tune with your artistic side.

Here’s looking forward to your progress.

[MILFandCookies]

Hi everybody my name is Ethan and welcome to my progress log. I am here to look for some community to build connections and reach my goals.

This is a copy and paste of my opening post:

I, Ethan, commit to working on my goals and taking myself seriously.

Hi, I’m Ethan and I’m 20 years old. I went to college for one semester but struggled with social anxiety, loneliness and porn addiction and dropped out. I have since been living with my parents for the last year and a half and trying to find direction in my life.

I have held hands with a few girls in high school but never dated, kissed, or had sex with any girls.

I spend the majority of my time doing two things, working at mcdonalds (35 hours a week) or training muay thai (12 hours a week).

My main goal is to develop a social life and sex life that feels fulfilling to me. I am also planning on competing in my first point kickboxing match on September 2nd. I am also considering moving out of my parents house for which I would need to find a roommate.

I also enjoy playing the piano and learning Spanish.

My favorite 5 rappers are:
Juice Wrld
Pop Smoke
Polo G
Boogie wit da Hoodie
Future

You've got a lot of potential here man! The Muay Thai, the work ethic (even though McD's is a shit place to work, you've got the ethic) and you're in the right place.

Can't wait to see where you go with this man.

[Toey_the_Turtle]

Day 2:

Overall I had a good day today.

When I woke up I was horny and immediately jacked off (no porn at least) which sucked but I quickly recovered momentum. Starting now im not going to jack off again until I find a girl to have sex with because jacking off is such a waste of time and energy.

I had an orthodontist appointment so I only worked from 12:00 to 5:00.

Then boxing class at 6:00. After conditioning we did light sparring and I dominated a teammate who was closer to an even match last week. That made me feel really good and powerful.

Muay Thai at 7:00. We practiced clench today. I started becoming very tired and sore but I got through the class.

My mom and sister got back from New York today and I enjoyed spending time with them but I also felt nostalgic sensation of how much closer I used to be with my family before college. I don’t think that its a bad thing though. I think that it is ok because I want to build my own life.

I love boxing but I still feel like I am missing a lot. I still feel relatively lonely, lost, and bored. I spent a lot of time at work today scrolling through these forums to try to find inspiration on how I should improve my life.

I have no idea what long-term goals I should set for myself. Nightlife seems exciting to me. The idea of moving out, living on my own, and focusing on fighting sounds exciting but I don’t know if I am strong enough or would even enjoy it.

Thank you for reading

[komeback_kile]

I have no idea what long-term goals I should set for myself

When unsure, the best thing is just experiment at this age of your life, especially if you don't have goals in mind. Throw yourself in a bunch of different things.
You could sit around, think of some goals, write them down, and never follow them. Or you could keep boxing, go out at night, and discover what truly excites you. Socialization seems to be your priority, so put yourself in more social situations. Seek failure and experience -- don't be afraid of it

Eventually, you'll figure out the goals in time. Just don't get into [too much] trouble

[Toey_the_Turtle]

Day 3:

Another standard day. Went to work where nothing eventful occurred. I then had a basic muay thai which was pretty light. After that I invited another kid to do some light boxing sparring which lasted about 30 minutes. He seemed about my age but proceeded to describe how he “boxed back in the day.” I kept it light today because I stressed something in my lower back yesterday that was bothering me all day at work.

Yesterday listened to one of Andy’s videos about overcoming fear and how you become fearful when you put unrealistic perfectionist standards onto yourself. I feel like often in my life have been afraid to take action for what I want because I fear failure.

I also watched his segment where he talks about how college can potentially be a scam. He expands onto how we are told by society what should make us happy instead of figuring that out for ourselves. I still feel like I am scared to do what I want because it goes against what I have been told to do for so long. I feel pressured to go back to college but I hate doing schoolwork.

Tomorrow I have been called off from work so I have extra time to reevaluate and reorganize my goals. I should at very least find a job that i enjoy more or even pays more. I am spending nearly half of my day, 5 days a week with people who I don’t feel any connection with and I am surrounded with. Everyone there feels so complacent with such a lost standard of living.

Thank you for reading

[Toey_the_Turtle]

Day 4:

I just did some basic chores around the house today. I completely rested today because I need to let my back heal from over stressing it on Monday. I downloaded a bunch of apps and looked through some websites to try to figure out how to create an ideal living situation for myself.

I just need to start the process of searching online, meeting people and asking peers if they would like to room with me.

Im guess that its similar to dating where its a numbers game. I just need to grind the process of searching for roommates, looking for places, and lining up sources of income; overall just creating a life for myself that I will enjoy and be proud of.

I am still scared that I am even considering an alternative route through life other than going to college. But why would I be there if I dread completing schoolwork or writing essays.

Thanks for reading

[Toey_the_Turtle]

Day 5:

Big day today! I spoke with a friend from McDonalds and spoke about renting a 2-bedroom apartment together. This feels super exciting to me because this is and opportunity to start building status and independence for myself.

I had the talk with my dad. He was hesitant but overall supportive (still believing that college is the best path for me) but I am pleased with how our conversation went.

Tomorrow I am going to get up and train (softly in order to continue letting my back and hip heal). Then I am going to start figuring out sources of income for myself.

I developed a lot of insecurity from high school but in order to be successful I need to develop confidence and develop status for myself.

Thank you for reading!

[Toey_the_Turtle]

Day 6:

I spent the day looking for new entry-level jobs with better working conditions and better hours than McDonald’s. I don’t know if I am going to go all in on fighting or if I am going to try to figure out another career path.

Thank you for reading

[Hydro]

You got this Ethan!

[Toey_the_Turtle]

Day 7:

My morning was super slow. I was feeling super depressed this morning because I was feeling scared about moving out. I also feel scared about my ability to compete in September because my hip keeps getting sore from training.

I visited my great grandma early this afternoon. She had a a seizure and is mostly paralyzed on the right side of her body. My visit to with her in a nursing home consisted of my mom playing childhood memories of my sister and I to her; I guess to give her some kind of pleasure and nostalgia before she soon passes. I would describe the overall atmosphere while visiting her to be unsettling. I was never particularly close to her so it doesn’t affect me too much but it is definitely unsettling.

The visit reminded me of how much my mom loves me even though she has a hard time understanding why I feel the way I do.

I also think about how quickly my mom returned to bickering about to minor inconveniences of life: we lost 2 minutes on the drive home because we missed a turn; also she complained about how my grandma has chaotic energy and how she wants to bring her crazy puppy to our house.

I also feel like I can be caught up in my own minor inconveniences - wether its my sore hip or the fear of the ability to find happiness and direction in my life - instead of being hopeful, grateful and humble.

I also thought about how frustration in synonymous with a lack of gratitude. Whenever my boss yells at me and mocks me at work for not doing an insignificant task I feel disrespected and not valued.

I feel like when I get frustrated over my current situation in life I am being ungrateful for my life and preventing myself to finding solutions to solve my problems.

I am also thinking about how I am going to make more money since I am moving out from my parents and becoming more independent. I think trying to become a content creator for businesses could be fun and more importantly profitable.

I love fighting but I don’t think I want to be a pro fighter but I also want to quickly make money. I care about other things like girls, having fun, relaxing, traveling, spending money and listening to music.

Thank you for reading

[Toey_the_Turtle]

Day 8:

My morning started earlier today. I did yoga with both my parents then changed a light fixture in the garage with my dad. Then I was talked to from my parents about how difficult it will be to live on my own. I feel a lot of self doubt with my decision to move out but I am sticking with the decision. I’m also starting the process of resigning from McDonald’s and finding a new job.

I have also been worrying about how it may be difficult to balance a wage job, training, and learning a money-making skill (and even potentially a social life).

Also the guy I chose to room with only speaks English that is barely good enough to communicate with him.

Thank you for reading

[Toey_the_Turtle]

Day 9:

I had a pretty normal day. I worked 10:30 to 5:00. Then trained boxing and muay thai. Then came home. Its already late so there’s not much else I want to mention.

[Toey_the_Turtle]

Day 10:

Another good day today. I had a funny experience at work where my friend asked me to ask a girl in the drive through for her number for him. She ended up being married but it felt good to have a flirty moment with a hot girl. I feel scared to but I definitely want to flirt with more hot girls because it makes my day feel so much more exciting and lively.

I trained for about 3 hours today, mostly technique. My hip has been feeling a lot better.

On the drive to and from the gym I listened to Andy’s podcast on patience. It was about how it is important not to spend time and energy being frustrated about reality. I should instead accept reality as it is while looking for ways to improve my life. I feel like watching his videos is helping me develop a more positive mindset and relax more instead of being frustrated and stressed all the time.

When I got home I got the news that my dad’s mom passed away. His sister is sleeping at our place and they are going to figure out how to move my grandpa to our town. My dad is generally mature about things but it is going to be a difficult transition for my family anyways.

Thank you for reading

[MILFandCookies]

Good work man. It’s cool to see someone be consistent