Trèfle's progress log - Mediocre dating streak after 11 lays

[Trèfle]

Eh, things aren't going that well on the dating side right now. Finally managed to get back on Tinder on Friday but phew things are not great, barely getting matches at all even on the weekend. I get things aren't always linear at all in this area but going from 300 matches to almost nothing on a weekend does feel real bad. It does make sense though, I sure gained a lot of weight since those photos from October or so.

Still got 2 dates with attractive chicks but eh. I performed laughably terribly on Saturday's, did so bad she laughed it off when I invited her back to my place, no vibe at all I was completely out of it. Also made me notice Sat nights dates kinda blow, there's really too many people in my bar I can't sit close to the girls. I blamed it on rustiness for not going on a date for a whole week but that was terrible. She was cute and 31, made me notice I don't do that well with the chicks in their 30s, some things to learn about how to be with them. Not that I was going to get laid with the typical uni girl with a performance like this either - didn't bother me too much but it was disappointing

Today's date was a bit more painful. 21 yo dancer, really pretty and the vibe of the date was great, the convo was interesting, had the right amount of touching and making her talk about what makes her passionate in life, sex/love talk, like it was one of those dates that usually end in sex or at least foreplay in my experience thus far. Yet when I invited her home she didn't think twice, "nah I'll go back home", resolved to kiss more of the girls who refuse to go upstairs but I saw no reason there considering how she pretty much left immediately when I invited her. Super disappointing considering how well the date was going, I thought I was getting good at knowing when things are going well with this amount of experience but guess not always. Worst part is that my brain only tells me one thing in this kind of situation (thought the same with that very beautiful chick on my birthday) : "everything was well except for your look they're just not attracted to you" (although I can't consider a date where I play with her pussy at the same level as a "I'll go home" one). Which frankly probably have a lot of truth, but it doesn't feel very good to feel repulsive. Had a pretty bad eating spree tonight (things are going up on the diet side for sure, way more cardio too, but not perfect yet)

Everything else is going well, enjoying my hobbies, diet improving, lots of cardio, ok mental health. Not successful at all on the dating side though. I was able to have sex with 11 different attractive women already so I know there'll be a 12th one obviously but it is a bit hard on the moral, I just gotta have more positive dieting days than negative ones and I'll be somewhat attractive again that's all there is to it. Just gotta endure the feeling of "rejected purely because you look like shit" in the meantime, learn to turn it into more of a motivation than a source of sadness

[Trèfle]

Just want to say today, I got an... Interesting? Information about why my new Tinder is doing so badly compared to the previous one (aside from the weight, will buy more fitted clothes and take new photos this weekend)

So yesterday night there was this hot match who straight up opened me with "frankly I thought you were gay but you have a very nice face you're extremely cute" and that got me thinking. Wonder if it's because I only got one earring left ? Months ago I lost one and was too lazy to get another so the hole closed, probably a good idea to re-do it now. "Lose fat and look straight" on the checklist

[Trèfle]

Girls who randomly decide not to answer the day of the date truly are the worst, happened today. Had 2 girls in a row who had to postpone a date to next week too, just a very poor dating period of time

Will update my diet success everyday in March for consistency sake, really struggled with willpower in this area this month; no progress, looks are very poor. Writing it down will help (today was good in the fat loss area, 2 good meals and 1 hour and a half of tennis)

[Trèfle]

1/03 :

Diet : 2 good meals. Dinner was a bit heavy but still a deficit, can do better tomorrow

Exercise: not much. Got a early train tomorrow so not sure I'll have time for a run, will be on my feet all day long anyway

[Trèfle]

2/03 :

Diet : 2 good meals at a deficit

Exercise: walked all day long, will do a run tomorrow

I had the world's weirdest date. Like really really weird. I was meeting this blonde beauty at noon in a nearby city and her looks didn't disappoint but er... She was drunk, like really drunk. Kept drinking throughout the date too. She made it clear early in the date she had no intention of fucking me too, I'm really not fuckable right now. But, well, she insisted that she really likes me and wants us to be friends and go sightseeing so I followed along since I was here and didn't know the place anyway and things were even more confusing. She showed me castles, museums, kebabs at times walking handholding, at times kissing me in the neck or on the mouth that was weeeiiird. Spent like 6 hours together like this before I had to grab my driver to get home after one last kissing session. Can't say that was unenjoyable even if she definitely wasn't into me sexually but that was... Weird

[Wnyhg]

You’re hitting a slump.

You know where the issues could be with your slump, right?

Personally, I would’ve called her on her drunkenness. Is she lacking companionship or is she hitting the wall or what? This is analogous to this to my former marriage. 27 years and she makes unilateral decisions, using her brothers for support and expects me to play along. Um, no.

It’s like when a date brings along another girl to eat at your expense. I wouldn’t stick around until I knew what the deal was and everything was out in the open. If I have a colleague or supervisor acting like a PIA and I don’t know her from any hole, I could lose my job but I am most definitely either getting HR involved or their permission to bring whatever issue out in the open.

I wouldn’t call it keeping frame. Id call it having self - respect. Did you just go on a date and spend 6 hours doing stuff you didn’t want to? Idk.

Consider this a perspective. I don’t know what I would’ve done honestly. I would’ve probably started dancing right then and pretended to be in the bedroom until she dipped. This is inner game stuff. Working on myself to prep for the next date.

Now, these are thoughts. I’m also a work in progress. As Andy mentioned being honest with girls is important but being honest with yourself is even more so the case.

You got this.

[Trèfle]

You’re hitting a slump.

You know where the issues could be with your slump, right?

Personally, I would’ve called her on her drunkenness. Is she lacking companionship or is she hitting the wall or what? This is analogous to this to my former marriage. 27 years and she makes unilateral decisions, using her brothers for support and expects me to play along. Um, no.

It’s like when a date brings along another girl to eat at your expense. I wouldn’t stick around until I knew what the deal was and everything was out in the open. If I have a colleague or supervisor acting like a PIA and I don’t know her from any hole, I could lose my job but I am most definitely either getting HR involved or their permission to bring whatever issue out in the open.

I wouldn’t call it keeping frame. Id call it having self - respect. Did you just go on a date and spend 6 hours doing stuff you didn’t want to? Idk.

Consider this a perspective. I don’t know what I would’ve done honestly. I would’ve probably started dancing right then and pretended to be in the bedroom until she dipped. This is inner game stuff. Working on myself to prep for the next date.

Now, these are thoughts. I’m also a work in progress. As Andy mentioned being honest with girls is important but being honest with yourself is even more so the case.

You got this.

I think all my struggles with women (am I really allowed to say that ? I'm well aware I slept with more attractive women in those last few months than a ton of guys despite a lot of issues) are looks related right now really, I genuinely think I strike a good balance between agressive and comforting - I'm just not anywhere near attractive since gaining all that fat, it's almost a death sentence with this kind of height (I always thought I was 1m68/5"5 but those new elevator shoes made me realize I'm def less than that, never taller than a single girl). I know people have said I only got laid so far because of genetics but I do feel real pride, I think a lot of guys this height would never try to build this kind of sexual life. Obviously I'm unattractive right now but I know it can change, just gotta be really consistent again to defeat those food addictions for good. Getting laid or making out with women who are so much above your own current looks does feel good but I know it's a looks game, won't achieve much consistently looking like this. I do expect to get laid again soon

Today was weird. Most days I would have turned down her invite for sightseeing but I was in this city I didn't know and my ride home wasn't coming for 6 hours so I did it for my own enjoyment first, the alternative was just spending the afternoon alone and bored. Like, her turning me down fast didn't stop me from enjoying discovering new stuff with a beautiful woman randomly making out with me in the street, that was a lot of fun. Not sure why she drinks so much but she told me she always does anyway and was partying all night before so I see no reason to investigate, her business. I didn't feel good about dropping her in front of her car though, suggested that she doesn't drive or call a friend but doubt she listened. Aside for that last point I did have a lot of fun today, I just need better looks to actually sleep with this kind of girls is the only conclusion I could make

[Trèfle]

Ended up getting a "yesterday was amazing, I'd be very happy to keep in touch" text from yesterday's girl, heartwarming. Things feel like they're changing when it comes to 2nd dates - before it used to be like "whether I fuck them or not, I never see them past the 1st date anyway" but the % who genuinely want to see me again has been pretty high recently. Obviously it's not the greatest lay timeframe but like that lay in early February told me she wasn't interested in casual sex past the first date but she wasn't uninterested in meeting again, that girl I kissed for so long w some foreplay on my bed like 3 weeks ago told me she "sees me as a friend but we can keep meeting if I want", now this chick who tells me upfront early in the date on my pull attempt that she's not interested sexually but still spends hours making out all over the city and really wants us to do it again

I do think it may be a good thing. Like, these chicks are much more attractive than I am at the moment, these are beautiful women. I've been a little perplexed by the sudden appearance of friendzoning in my sex life considering how agressive i play my dates, lots of touching and I always try to pull and stick to game plans but it does make sense - they like me enough for making out and fondling but don't want to fuck me because of me not being hot right now. It's a good reason to improve that, I think my retention will finally be existent once I sort out the physique to be at least fuckable. In the meantime, I won't do the same mistake as the last 2 girls who wanted to keep seeing me but me politely refusing because I assumed it would be worthless if they weren't going to sleep with me. Definitely going to accept to meet that girl again, she's very hot and made me discover furiously making out in the Zara waiting line and in a museum can be a lot of fun. Fun and pleasure really are way more important to me than a lay count after all, whether I fuck this kind of chick or not doesn't feel that important if the dates are this enjoyable

[Trèfle]

3/03

Diet : 2 good meals (bit of a heavy lunch but still a deficit)

Exercise: 5km run

[Trèfle]

4/04

Diet : so-so, ate around maintenance. Not the worst not the best

Exercise: 5km run

[Trèfle]

5/04

Diet : 2 good meals, solid deficit

Exercise: rest day, walked a good bit

Jinxed myself it seems, when I was kissing that girl on Saturday she was a bit worried for my health because of her cough so I told her "I never get sick don't worry" but yeah, been ill since, low energy and cough. Worth it, it's just a bad flu but I do have a date tomorrow - hope I don't give her the same thing if we click. First time I've gotten sick from dating, kinda funny (there was this girl last month who sent me a "hey I got clamydia" text but after getting my pee checked I had nothing)

[Trèfle]

6/04

Diet: 2 good meals, solid deficit

Exercise: sick in bed all day long

Been feeling terrible. Good thing this girl's a sweetheart, was coughing too much to feel like dating was a good idea but she was super down to date on Saturday instead, wishing me a good recovery. Pretty brunette, drives 3 hours just to meet me. I don't buy drinks at all usually but I'll make an exception for her, she deserves it

[Trèfle]

7/03

Diet : 2 good meals, solid deficit

Exercise: still sick in bed

[Trèfle]

Today was definitely the worst "date" of my life, just waiting and waiting in front of a bar with her telling me she's going around in the city feeling lost but should find the place soon and being very vague everytime I offered to meet her where she was, lasted for like 4 hours in the cold and the rain still being sick (with nosebleeds even) before I got back home and she offered to go back to her car and drive to my place to enjoy some time together at least - been 2 hours in a half since I last heard from her. Still don't know if she trolled me or not, supposedly drove 300 kms to meet me. One thing's for sure, that was a terrible afternoon. More on the "funny anecdote" side of terrible but still enough to make me eat badly tonight out of frustration. Only day this happened this week so I do feel like things are in a ok spot right now, I'll do a end of the week weight loss report tomorrow

[Trèfle]

Good diet today too, solid deficit. Most consistent week in a long time, 5 days under maintenance and one around it. Good stuff. Haven't moved much, really focused on sleeping a ton but I care more about my calorie deficit

Dating isn't particularly thrilling right now but I expected it, just too way too weak in the looks department right now. Even my best feature (my face) is severely ruined by the current weight. It's not the main goal right now anyway, I won't stop going on dates but not expecting particularly great results in the near future, won't set new lay counts goals just yet. I'm comfortable with it I feel, I genuinely want hot women in my bed but I do have a better balance now in my opinion, lackluster dating success doesn't seem to affect me much anymore (I was fuming inside yesterday but mostly because that was a complete waste of a Saturday). Feeling optimistic, dating doesn't feel like the sole focus or source of pleasure of my life rn

A big goal of next week is to go back to the gym, been more than a full month. My wrist is still in pretty bad shape, very limited range of motion on it. Very disappointing because I had 2 different doctors feel it and tell me it would take one week, they were wrong. Military press is going to suck but I miss weights